Those Who Are Found
Chapter 5
Her Name Defines Her
Hello there my fellow fanfictioners! It's certainly been a while! I was struck by the muse and far too much deskwarming and I pumped out this bad boy as a result. Not my best work but I'm pretty proud of it.
If you enjoyed it or spot any mistakes, then please leave a review and let me know! They're always appreciated.
Disclaimer: I do not in any way claim ownership of Naruto, Naruto Shippuden or Boruto. These are all the work of the great Masashi Kishimoto and his army of very scary lawyers.
HI NO KUNI- FIRE CAPITAL
Consciousness returned slowly, like gently rolling waves coming to surf on a sandy beach. Himawari could hear voices, indistinct and mumbling, as if she were listening to a conversation through a pane of thick glass.
She felt warm and light. As if she were floating on a cloud. A part of her wondered if she had died and simply ascended to the heavens. The next wave rolled in and Himawari could feel someone gripping her hand. Tight but not unbearably so. The grip was warm and strong and she decided that it felt quite nice to be held that way.
It made her feel safe and happy. She hoped that whoever it was would never let go. It was a stark contrast to her other hand. Her other hand felt heavy and numb. Only the barest sensations seemed to announce themselves. The cold feeling of drugs coursing through her system countered by the occasional prick and sting of pain running through her digits.
Himawari knew that she would have winced and twitched if she could have, if the drugs hadn't kept her feeling so sleepy and safe.
With the next wave of returning awareness, Himawari finally realized that she was lying down. The bed she was in was soft and far too comfortable. She could tell, simply from the way that the mattress seemed to sink so softly beneath her weight, that she wasn't in her bed at home.
More voices, more chatter and the grip on her free hand vanished and Himawari fell back into the dark once again.
THE VOID
She dreamed, as she so often did, of the house. Where before, Himawari found herself sometimes walking for days on end to reach it, this time the house came to her.
The young Uchiha simply stood there as, one moment there was nothing but the dark to greet her and then, in the space of a breath, the house appeared before her in the void.
When she entered the dreamscape, she'd come to call the Void, it was just that. A cold, dark and empty nothingness. Always alone, save for the house and its ghosts.
Something feels different this time.
It felt as if she were trapped at the bottom of a dark and endless ocean. The nothingness around her took on the feel of a gaping abyss. And the house…
The house looked… wrong. Much worse than the last time she'd visited this place. Where before it had looked abandoned, now it looked… haunted.
The brickwork looked chipped; its paint faded. Vegetation, pulsing a sickly green, grew out of cracks in mortar and wood alike, thorned vines reaching out in tendrils towards a sunless sky. They crawled over the edifice of the building like some nameless horror trying to devour the home whole.
The windows were all shattered ruin, only jagged shards of glass jutting out like broken teeth served as reminders of what used to be there. The grass of the lawn was all dead and dried up and the front door hung on by a single hinge, creaking and swaying from a wind that Himawari could neither hear nor feel.
The house terrified her.
It had always scared her before, reminding her that her past self was in there and all the memories that had been locked away. The building was akin to a ticking time bomb. One whose payload were her memories and another version of her that she didn't want to become again.
The house and the shades that inhabited it belonged to Himawari Hyuuga. It held nothing but dread for Himawari Uchiha.
But this wasn't the same place. This was something else. Something much worse, even if she couldn't explain it.
This was something else. It felt like…
Like she wasn't alone. Not the shades of memories that she was used to encountering. This was more akin to being stuck in the ocean and seeing a dark shape in the water.
Something was watching her, out there in the dark. Circling around her as predator does to prey.
How observant, little lamb.
Himawari's eye widened. She tried to move but, as so often was the case in dreams, her body felt slow and sluggish. By the time she assumed a defensive position it felt as if a hundred lifetimes had passed.
Something pulsed in the black, the abyss around her seeming to ripple like a living thing for a moment before settling back into stillness. She tried to activate her Byakugan but in the dream, nothing happened.
How pointless.
The voice was a dark and malevolent thing, a deep rumble that spoke directly into her ear yet shook the void around her. The vines strangling the house twitched and writhed as if in pain.
It took me so long to find you, little lamb.
"Who are you?!" Himawari called out. Her head turned slowly, so slowly, as she scanned the empty black around her.
I?
I am the one you run from, little lamb.
Laughter, cold and harsh cut through her to the bone. The darkness around her became like a physical thing, pressing down on her from all sides, making it difficult to breathe.
Child of the Nine Tails, Daughter of the Moon.
Icy terror gripped her heart when Himawari heard those words. Why would the voice say that? What was this?
The Doom of the Hyuuga, A Prophecy Given Form.
"Show yourself!" Himawari said. She'd tried to scream the words defiantly. It came out as a whimper. "Stop hiding!"
The darkness relented, the weight lifting as if it were amused by her words and wished to consider them.
Hide? Why would I hide from you?
The sound of tortured metal and wood drew her attention back to the house. Himawari sucked in a deep breath as… something… ripped the door of its remaining hinge and smashed it to splinters. A figure stepped out over the threshold.
I'm not the one who's been hiding. But at last, I've found you little lamb.
In the swirling darkness this figure stood out. It took the shape of a man but Himawari couldn't see anything beyond its outline. Even in the void the shape was somehow an even truer black. As if a dying star had collapsed and sucked in all the light in the universe around it.
It stepped towards her, talons of smoke and shadows where fingers should, reaching out to her.
Now I know where you are.
Himawari tried to back away but the weight of the Void pressed in on her again, suffocating her, pinning her in place.
You can run and you can hide. Twice, you've escaped me now.
The figure reached her, stalking forward like a rabid animal about to strike.
But you won't escape me again.
The shadow knelt down to look at her. There was no face to greet her. Only a maelstrom of blackness that threatened to devour her soul. Himawari couldn't breathe.
You.
The creature gripped her chin, tendrils of shadow dancing along her skin like licks of flame. It was so cold.
Are.
The figure reached out with its other hand, a thumb coming to rest casually underneath her remaining eye.
Mine.
Himawari could only watch, petrified as the thumb pressed down. That's when she screamed.
HI NO KUNI- FIRE CAPITAL
Himawari came back to the world sharply this time. There was no gentle returning of the senses. It felt more like she had awoken from a nightmare. Her eye shot open and she gasped for air. Sunlight streamed in from a nearby window, blinding her even as cold sweat trickled its way down her spine.
It was just a dream. It's always been just a dream.
She repeated the words to herself like a mantra, whispering the words under her breath. Himawari wasn't sure that the words held any truth to them but the effect they served was enough. After the tenth repetition, her breathing became calmer, the light wasn't so blinding anymore. By the hundredth repeat, her heart stopped thudding inside her chest like a hammer striking an anvil.
Her whole arm was encased in plaster so thick and extensive she was unable to bend the limb at all. Flashes of her fight with the girl named Sarada ran through her head. The way she had grabbed Himawari's arm, squeezing with a strength no adolescent should rightly possess. There wasn't much pain, only the numbness she had come to expect from dulled nerves. Her other arm had a long clear line running from an IV jutting out from the vein on the inside of her elbow. A machine next to her fed a clear fluid she couldn't identify into her body via the tube. Himawari shifted, slowly, into a more upright position. She was careful not to jostle the IV too much or to put weight on her cast, using the pillows as a support for her back as she came to rest against the headboard.
She could feel bandages across her chest, waist and legs shifting all so slightly as she moved.
Sighing, Himawari lay back, her head falling against the headboard. The scent of sandalwood drifted through the air making her nose wrinkle.
Where am I?
The room she was in was quite spacious. Overly large in fact, with a degree of decoration that screamed luxurious. An aura of grandeur permeated throughout the space. High ceilings adorned with intricate frescoes depicting battles from ages long past. Many of the soldiers carried banners depicting a burning flame. A replica of said banner hung from a sconce in the wall beside the door. The bed she found herself in was similarly opulent. A four-postered altar to sleep, big enough to fit three people abreast with a duvet of silken scarlet and orange that reminded her of a living flame, rippling with life when she moved even slightly.
At the far end of the room a fireplace crackled merrily, its mantle adorned with a veritable army of delicate porcelain pigs of all things and several vases filled with flowers.
Sunlight, which had stung her eye painfully upon waking, streamed in through an open window to her left.
This is definitely not my room. Not unless Dad got me an upgrade.
Hiamwari smiled at the thought and knew that the first things to go would be the porcelain pigs. She didn't like the way they were looking at her.
A small creak on her blinded side made her start and Himawari turned her head sharply to find its source, ignoring the stiffness in her neck. Her whole body was a bruise.
Sasuke.
Her father lay upon a chaise lounge, upholstered in dark red leather which had clearly been dragged from its position by the fireplace over to her side. Himawari smiled when she saw him. I knew you'd find me, Dad.
Her smile faded, only to be replaced with a worried frown as she studied him. The elder Uchiha was asleep, arms crossed over his chest and his head lolled slightly towards the side in her direction. The creaking sound she'd heard a moment prior must have been the leather upholstery protesting as the man had turned over in his sleep.
What concerned her was his face. Her father, despite being a serious man, had always possessed a youthful quality to his features. Even after deciding to grow a short beard, he'd never looked older than a man of twenty-five, a fact which had made him rather popular with the female clientele who frequented his place of business.
The man before her seemed to have aged decades. Deep lines ran grooves into his skin. Dark purple bruises lay in sacks beneath his eyes and his beard was a wild, hairy mess. His raven dark hair run through with streaks of grey that hadn't been there before.
Where before Sasuke had seemed far too young for a man of his age, he now seemed far too old.
Himawari couldn't help it as a sob tore its way up through her throat and her vision blurred with hot tears. The instant the sound left her lips, Sasuke's eyes shot open. In a flash he was on his feet, kunai in hand, obsidian eyes strained red with exhaustion, flitting back and forth across the room for intruders.
It took Sasuke a moment to realize that the sound he had mistaken for intrusion, had come from her instead.
Both of them stared at each other, the silence between them thick with emotion.
Oh Dad… What happened to you?
Wiping away her tears, Himawari gave him a watery smile.
"Hey Dad." Something flashed across his face when she said that second word. Something that Himawari couldn't recognize but knew she most definitely didn't like. Sasuke sheathed his blade before sinking to his knees beside her.
He reached out, hesitated, and then took her free hand in both of his and squeezed softly. Himawari saw his hesitation and something ugly curled inside her breast.
"Hey yourself." Sasuke replied softly and the ugly feeling evaporated. A silence fell between them. This was by no means unusual. The two of them often spent time together with nary a word spoken. But this silence…
Himawari swallowed. There was an unspoken tension in the air now, one she couldn't identify.
"Where are we?" She asked, pointedly looking around the room once more, trying to affect a more casual air. Her gaze was drawn to the porcelain pigs on the mantlepiece once more.
Himawari decided that she definitely didn't like them. They seemed to be dressed up in ridiculous outfits as well.
"We're in the Daimyo's palace. As his personal guests while you recover." Sasuke told her softly. Himawari glanced at him. His eyes flicked up to meet her, making her frown.
Was he… staring at my cheeks?
The markings there, like whiskers, had always made her self-conscious.
"How long have I been out?" Himawari asked after a few moments. As she spoke, she kept studying him. Trying to determine what had caused such a dramatic shift in her father's appearance.
"A little over two days." Sasuke seemed to be studying her too. His eyes roaming over her as if to make sure that she was still okay.
Two days. A lot could have happened in that time. A million questions flitted through her head so quickly that Himawari couldn't decided which one to start with.
"How do you feel?" Sasuke asked not unkindly.
"Like I'd been beaten up and thrown in a river." Himawari half-joked weakly. Her father didn't laugh.
"Tell me what happened." Sasuke asked her. Himawari frowned at his tone. He sounded almost… angry.
"After you left home." Sasuke prompted, this time there was no trace of the anger. Her father simply looked weary. Sasuke let go, got up, pulling the chaise lounge closer so he could sit on it and then took her in hand again. Then, sensing her wariness, Sasuke patted her hand comfortingly and gave her a small smile. "I need to know what happened. Every detail, no matter how insignificant it may seem. It's… important."
That made sense. It would allow for them to plan their next move and it gave her time to calm the maelstrom of stray thoughts inside her head if she had something to focus on.
So, Himawari told him. All of it. Everything that had happened to her from the moment she had left home. She wasn't sure why but she found she could spare no detail. Even those events that she herself was sure weren't relevant Himawari relayed to her father.
Meeting with Kouki in the morning. The lesson on the history of the Land of Fire and the Nine-Tails. Meeting up with her friends and going to the karaoke bar.
Then she hesitated.
Should I…
It was silly, barely even worth mentioning and certainly irrelevant but still, Himawari spoke to him about her dreams. About the place she ended up on many a night when she slept. She spoke to him about the Void.
Sasuke didn't interrupt her, merely listening intently as she described the house in her dreams and the shades within whose faces she couldn't see. She didn't mention the last dream she'd had. Himawari didn't know why. Perhaps she was waiting to see how he would react.
The Uchiha sat back, silent as he considered her words. The minutes ticked by as she waited for him to speak, to say anything. Finally, after far too long, he opened his mouth as if to say something, before thinking better of it and closing it again.
"Tell me what happened after school." He diverted away from the topic with a shake of his head. A faint sense of relief flooded through her. The last thing Himawari wanted was for Sasuke to think that she was losing her mind over a few dreams. Especially the last one.
Thinking of it still made her shudder.
Instead, Himawari continued where she'd left off. She spoke of her encounter with the strange boy. Something flashed in her father's eyes when she described his blonde hair and whisker marks but it was gone just as quickly, hidden behind a veil of stoicism few others could master.
He's hiding something from me.
Unsettled by the realization, Himawari swallowed before continuing. She spoke about her flight, being chased through the streets of the city. Her engagement with two of her pursuers. The river…
Sasuke's stare sharpened and his jaw clenched so tightly she heard it pop as she spoke about her duel with the girl.
"You think that the girl could have been cloned from me?" Sasuke murmured, a thoughtful look entering his eyes.
"Possibly. That or someone used your DNA to have a baby without your knowledge or consent." The thought had been rattling around inside her skull since she'd seen the girl's Sharingan. Just the thought of it made her sick with rage.
How dare they?
To violate Sasuke's trust like that would be unforgivable. If the darkening on her father's face at the possibility were any indication, it seemed he felt the same way.
Himawari's throat thickened with emotion as she'd realized there was nothing else left to tell him. She squeezed his hand.
"I'm sorry, Dad." She told him thickly.
The final word shook her father out of his stupor and he winced involuntarily as if he'd been struck. It only happened for a moment but she saw the movement and his reaction alarmed her.
Something is very wrong.
"You don't have anything to be sorry for." The Uchiha absolved her instantly with a smile. His smile, rare but always genuine, felt like a lie.
It never reached his eyes and it sent alarm bells ringing inside her head.
"I shouldn't have gone to karaoke with my friends. I should have just stayed home."
"Stop." Sasuke growled the word, harshly. He paused even as Himawari stared, her eye wide.
"Living a normal life? Being a kid?" Sasuke's spoke gruffly but his voice broke at the end, alarming her. He bowed his head so she couldn't see his face anymore.
Something is wrong.
Himawari quietly, gently used her chakra to check. Her father was not acting like himself. Something was either wrong and he hadn't told her yet. Or she was trapped in some elaborate genjutsu.
Sasuke kept his head bowed, hiding from her beneath a curtain of his own hair. "That is not something to be apologizing for."
He sounded in pain. As if every word were forced from him under torture.
There was nothing. No markers, no irregularities in her chakra flow, no discrepancies in her environment. Whatever this was, it was no illusion.
Himawari swallowed, a shiver running through her despite the heat of the room. The fireplace crackled as one of the logs broke apart under the flame's hungry tongue.
"I got hurt again." She meant for it to sound apologetic but her words came out an angry, bitter thing.
I'm always getting hurt. I'm always the one who ends up with scars.
The fingers of her other hand twitched, sending a brief spike of pain through her so intense she had to clench her jaw to stop from hissing.
Not so numb after all.
"Me too." Sasuke replied. The way he spoke alarmed her. He sounded as if he were crying.
But that was impossible. In all the time that she had known him, ever since their first meeting more than a year ago, Sasuke had never cried.
The sound was a soft, broken thing. It tore at her heart and she wished she could reach out and embrace him properly.
"Dad…" Himawari's words came out slowly at first. "What's wrong?"
A low, keening cry answered her. Tears dripped onto the bedding moments before Sasuke lifted his head to look at her. Her father, the strongest person she knew, looked broken.
"Whatever it is, we can handle it. You and I, we can handle anything." Himawari spoke hurriedly, squeezing her father's hand as tightly as she could to reassure him. The look of anguish on his face was unbearable. It felt like someone was reaching inside of her to physically tear her heart into pieces.
Sasuke stood abruptly, tearing himself free of her grip and wiping his eyes with the back of one hand in a swift, jerky motion. As if he were angry with himself for having shed a tear in someone else's presence.
He moved in front of the fireplace staring into the flames. Himawari could only stare at him. She wanted to speak, to find out what was wrong but she found herself frozen in place. Minutes passed in silence. Himawari stared at her father and Sasuke stared into the flames.
A whole range of emotions chased themselves across his features.
Rage.
Pain.
Horror.
Despair.
Guilt.
Shame.
With each emotion, Himawari felt herself grow more and more afraid. A pit forming in her stomach that she couldn't ease.
"The three that were chasing you." Sasuke finally began to speak. The words came slowly, as if he were wrestling with every syllable. "They were Genin from Konoha."
Himawari said nothing. She already knew that. The boy she'd nearly killed in the alleyway practically confirmed it when he'd started speaking about her mother. "While you were trying to lose them, their sensei approached me."
That sparked her interest and, despite her growing sense of dread, Himawari spoke. "What did he want?"
"He was under orders from the Hokage to bring me to Konoha. The Leaf has been at war with the Hidden Sound for a few years now. Things have escalated to the point where the Hokage felt it was necessary to bring me back into the fold." Sasuke spoke as if he were reading an economic report. Without emotion.
"Can they do that?" Himawari whispered, fear spiking through her at the idea of Sasuke being taken away from her by force. Just as quickly she dismissed it as a non-issue. The situation had already escalated far beyond that complication.
"They can certainly talk to me. It's a free country." Sasuke turned away from the fireplace and made his way over to the window. He stared at something that she couldn't see before sighing and turning to face her. "I freely told them to go away. That I had no interest in returning to the Shinobi world. That I'd started a new life here with a family of my own."
He looked tired. Exhausted beyond measure. As if a simple breeze would be enough to knock him over.
"He fought you." Himawari guessed.
"No." Sasuke replied with a slight shrug of his shoulders. "Only the desperate or the mad would fight me. The ninja, Konohamaru, understood my situation and agreed to explain things to the Hokage."
Konohamaru…
The name struck a familiar chord deep inside her. A blinding flash filled her vision for just a moment as an image of a young man filled her mind's eye.
Tall, with shaggy brown hair and kind eyes the colour of chestnuts.
A blue scarf tickled her face and Konohamaru laughed, ruffling her hair with his hand. He reached behind and handed her a small box, properly gift-wrapped in white paper and pink polka dots.
"Happy Birthday, Hima-chan!" He winked at her. "Don't tell the old man."
Her head hurt. A dull, throbbing pain that made her wince and clutch at her temples. When Himawari focused back on Sasuke, she realized that he'd fallen silent.
He was watching her, concern and something else warring for dominance in his eyes.
What is he looking for?
"I'm fine. It's just a headache." Himawari told him, waving a hand for him to continue. She swallowed deeply, the throbbing pain dying down as she listened to him speak.
"Shortly after he left, Chiaki brought you in."
Chiaki.
The last face she could remember before falling unconscious. Himawari sent a silent prayer of thanks to the woman, wherever she was, for helping her.
"You looked…" Sasuke's voice was raw, full of hurt. "It wasn't good Hima."
"I sent Chiaki to fetch the doctor from the palace while I tended to what injuries I could."
"That's when Konohamaru returned. The girl that hurt you was with him as well." Sasuke stopped. Himawari could see his throat working up and down as he swallowed, trying to say something.
Sasuke sounded… it was as if someone had taken her father's spirit and crushed it into a million pieces. He looked shattered. A broken mirror of the man she knew.
"He recognized you Hima."
Himawari's heart stopped. She could practically feel the organ fall silent inside her chest for several seconds. When it started beating again, her heart did so frantically, as if to compensate.
"What do you mean he recognized me?" She felt numb. Her lips went dry and her hair stood on end. Himawari didn't like where this was going. She needed to stop. To make it stop before things got out of hand.
"I know who your father is."
Oh Kami, no.
"I know who you are."
Dad, stop. You don't know what you're saying.
"Stop." Himawari whispered but Sasuke didn't heed her.
"Himawari." He began and she shook her head violently. She would cover her ears but for the damned sling.
You don't know what will happen if you tell me.
"I don't want to know." Himawari said but it wasn't what she meant to say. She wanted to tell him that she was terrified. She remembered the Void and the House within it. Himawari remembered the younger version of her chasing her through the home.
Himawari remembered the old Himawari's promise that when they next met, there would be a reckoning.
If she remembered then she would return. That ghost of the past, to take over her life, body and soul.
"Himawari, you're-"
"STOP!" Himawari screamed, closing her eye tightly and thrusting her arm out as if to ward off an attack.
I don't want to lose who I am!
"You're Naruto's daughter." The words came out in a broken whisper.
Her heart thudded inside her chest and Himawari waited. Waited for it all to end, for the memories to come crashing back to her in a tidal wave. A tsunami of repressed memories and emotions that would sweep her away leaving nothing but an empty husk to be filled with her.
The other Himawari.
The so-called 'real' Himawari.
Nothing.
Long seconds ticked by in time with the thudding of her heart.
Nothing happened.
Naruto.
She repeated it softly to herself inside her head, tentatively… cautiously as if the name were a viper that would bite her if poked too many times.
Nothing.
No memories. No flashes of the man. No emotions sweeping over her beyond mere confusion.
Naruto?
Hesitantly, Himawari opened her eye, peeking around the room. Searching. Her father remained where he stood, his confusion evident.
Himawari searched for her. The other Himawari. Her silver eye flitted across the room, checking every nook and cranny.
The seconds kept ticking by and still there was nothing. No shade of the girl she used to be crawled from the fireplace or dropped from the ceiling. Sasuke watched her, his eyes narrowed as she slowly leaned over the side of the bed to make sure that the little girl wasn't hiding there either.
Lying back, Himawari couldn't help it. She giggled. The sound bubbled up from somewhere deep inside of her and before she knew it, she couldn't stop. She kept giggling, the sound high and pealing before becoming full-blown laughter.
Sasuke watched her silently, concern warring with wariness as her laughter became a hysterical thing. A curious mix of laughter and sobbing that she couldn't stop.
I'm still me.
Himawari laughed so much that her sides began to hurt. She laughed until tears pricked her eyes even though she'd thought she had no more tears to give.
I'm still me!
"I don't know who that is." Himawari told him in between dying bouts of laughter. By the time she'd finished her skin was flush from the effort and she had to stop and catch her breath. Her sides hurt and idly, she wondered if she'd pulled her stitches.
"He's…" Sasuke started only to stop and frown at her. He took a step closer but then stopped, hesitating before reluctantly taking a step back.
"Naruto Uzumaki is the Hokage of the Hidden Leaf." The Uchiha said slowly as if trying to make her understand.
The Hokage?
"I don't care." Himawari told him bluntly. Hysteria and relief settled inside her and Himawari stared at her father.
"Himawari…" Sasuke sighed, causing a spark of irritation to ignite in her. He was treating her like a child who didn't know any better.
"I. Don't. Care!" Himawari repeated forcefully.
Doesn't he understand?
Sasuke sighed again, rubbing the bridge of his nose as if this conversation were a headache. The spark inside of her grew hotter and Himawari decided that she had had enough.
Gritting her teeth in anticipation she threw back the covers and made to rise from the bed.
"Himawari!" Sasuke protested, moving forward to settle her back down but he stopped upon seeing the look in her eye.
She glared at him with an anger he had never seen before. A rage burned in her eye which stopped him cold. Sasuke found himself rooted to the spot.
Ignoring the pain from bruised muscles and pulled stitching, Himawari forced herself to stand, using the IV stand as a crutch. She let herself hiss through bared teeth as she forced her battered body to turn and face him.
"I don't know this Naruto. I don't want to know this Naruto!" Every word was accompanied by a grunt of pain as she began moving towards him.
"You're my father." Himawari practically spat the words and Sasuke winced again when she said them. He had no idea how much it hurt her when he did. The pain of her body was nothing compared to the pain in her heart when he retreated from her.
"He's been searching for you." Sasuke told her quietly.
Himawari snorted at that, limping towards the Uchiha on unsteady legs, like a newborn foal. Sweat beaded her brow from the pain and the effort. Her legs felt like lead weights and her muscles burned like acid with every movement. The drugs in her system weren't nearly strong enough to compensate and her vision swam.
Himawari ignored it all. "No, he hasn't."
"This 'Naruto' isn't the one who took me in. He isn't the one who has saved my life over and over without asking anything in return. 'Naruto' isn't the one who gave me a name, a home and a normal life." Every word required a herculean effort and she felt hot. Uncomfortably so.
There was a pain in her side that felt like a knife sliding between her ribs. Perhaps it was her ribs. She could feel blood dripping down her side as the stitches there pulled then tore. Himawari could feel the warm liquid trail down her side, staining the bandages around her midriff scarlet.
Sasuke noticed too and immediately moved to help her. She was so close now.
I need him to listen to me.
Her vision darkened at the corner and Himawari bit her tongue, the shock of it bringing the world back into focus. She'd reached the fireplace, fingers reaching out to grab the mantlepiece to support herself. The marble felt cool beneath her fingertips and proved a stronger support than the IV stand. It gave her a reserve of strength she hadn't realized she desperately needed.
"Himawari, stop!" Sasuke pleaded, stepping close, a hand reached out to steady her. He touched her and a red mist descended over her as she lashed out. Grabbing the IV stand she swung at him, forcing him a step back as the metal pole slammed into his side with a satisfying 'thunk'. Sasuke grunted and stayed where he was, an arm's length between them, palms raised towards her to show he meant no harm.
"I won't stop!" Himawari cried through her anger, pain and tears. She could feel blood pouring down her arm. The IV had been ripped out of her arm when she'd struck Sasuke but she found she didn't care.
What was one more minor wound amongst the litany that scarred her body, heart and soul?
He has to listen.
"I will never stop!" Himawari told him, ignoring the 'drip' 'drip' 'drip' of her lifeblood onto the carpet. "Not until you hear me!"
She didn't like the way he was looking at her. As if she were a mental patient on the verge of a breakdown.
Perhaps I am but it doesn't matter.
"Naruto Uzumaki, right?" Himawari said the words, wondering idly if, maybe this time they would strike that lock inside her head and erase her from existence.
Still nothing.
Himawari let out a slow breath when Sasuke nodded, deciding to hear out rather than risk her injuring herself further. When she next spoke, Himawari tried to do so more calmly. She didn't succeed and her voice came out a curious combination that could only be described as tremulous anger.
"That would make his daughter, Himawari Uzumaki."
"Where are you going with this?" Sasuke sighed, a weary exhaustion settling over him. It angered her and Himawari let it be known.
"Shut up and listen to me!" She hissed, whether from rage or from taking another step, it was impossible to be sure. "Himawari Uzumaki fell to her death over a year ago."
"The person that woke up wasn't her. It was me." Even as the words left her lips, Himawari could tell simply from his expression that Sasuke didn't understand.
He has to understand. I will make him understand.
"I'm just Himawari." She looked at him expectantly, sure that he would get it now. It was so obvious to her after all.
It wasn't so clear to Sasuke though. He stared at her blankly, his lips pursed in something dangerously close to pity.
"Everything before waking up and meeting Kouda. All of it. It's gone." A pang of heartache rang inside her as the old man's name left her lips but she pushed past it. "When you found me, I was just Himawari. When you told me about my Byakugan, I became Himawari Hyuuga. It wasn't my name but it was all that I had. I clung to it, defined myself by that name because it was something to hold onto."
"It meant nothing to me though. I hated the name and what it represented. Just another group of people that you told me would not suffer me living outside of their control. Then you took me in. You gave me a name." Himawari pointed at him, almost accusingly. Her fingers trembled, streaks of bright, ruby red coating them and the stink of iron filled her nostrils. She ignored it.
"Himawari Uchiha. You gave me the name 'Uchiha'."
Sasuke shook his head, pain and regret etched onto his ravaged features. "I shouldn't have. It's not your name. Your name is Uzumaki. It's been yours since you were born."
"Fuck. That." Himawari emphasized each word with a frustrated jab at his chest.
He isn't understanding me! He's not hearing what I'm saying!
"Himawari!" Sasuke admonished, unaffected by her blows. He stood there, a rock, as though waiting for a child to finish its tantrum.
This isn't a tantrum. This is me.
"Uchiha!" Himawari roared the word at the him. Sasuke's eyes widened and he staggered backwards until his back hit the window sill, unprepared for the ferocity of her words.
Himawari stumbled after him, refusing to let this man, her father, run away from her. "My name is Himawari Uchiha! The moment you christened me with that name, back in the Uchiha Shrine, it felt right. It felt good! When I say my name, I feel proud. Proud of who I am!
Something flashed in Sasuke's eyes, a sliver of hope but it passed just as quickly before he smiled brokenly. Reaching up, he cradled her face in his hands.
"It doesn't change who you are. You're Naruto's daughter." He told her, resting his forehead against hers. His tone was sad but kind and Himawari hated it. It wasn't right and it wasn't what she wanted to hear from him.
I don't know how to reach him. I don't know how to make him see…
She pulled away from him and limped back to the fireplace. Himawari sighed, resting her head against the mantlepiece and stared into the flames.
A part of her hoped that this was all some horrible dream. That she would wake up any moment and life would simply go back to how it was only a short time ago. She'd be just a normal girl with a normal dad and a normal life.
I wonder who was more the fool? Sasuke or me?
"Your parents will be so happy to see you." Sasuke murmured from behind her. "The boy you met? With the blonde hair?"
Blonde hair, blue eyes and whisker marks so like her own. She would not so easily forget that.
"He's your brother, Himawari." Sasuke told her quietly. He said the words, clearly hoping that they would comfort her or force her to accept the truth. To accept the madness of the situation.
The revelation slammed into her heart like a knife-wound. There was still nothing. No rush of realization, no stream of memories like she had been led to believe. No emotions save for a dull pang of pain and regret that she didn't recognize him. That the word 'brother' didn't change anything about the boy in her mind's eye.
Then she got angry. Sasuke had held onto that information, storing it and unleashing it now to try and force her to see things from his perspective.
He'd succeeded but not in the way he had hoped. All it had done was highlight a truth. Sasuke Uchiha was lost, in pain and most of all, he was miserable. Every word that passed his lips was a word that was torn from him against his will.
He also wishes this was just a bad dream.
The realization gave her hope even as it stoked her fire.
"Himawari Uzumaki died a long time ago." She told him quietly. With a sudden violence, Himawari reached up and struck the flowerpot with a vicious backhand. The pot went careening through the air only to smash into a shower of ceramic shards, soil and plant matter against the far wall.
"I'm sorry that she did, I truly am. But I have no memories of her or the life that she lived before me." Calmly, Himawari gathered a number of the porcelain pigs, using her sling as a makeshift pouch with which to carry them all before turning back to Sasuke.
The Uchiha watched her warily with narrowed eyes, yet transfixed by her.
"Other than the old man, you're the only person in this whole world who I could count on. The only person in this whole world that I trust and truly care for." Armed and dangerous, Himawari let fly with the first pig, the porcelain creature whistling through the air only to smash against Sasuke chest with enough force that it cracked.
The Uchiha didn't move, though his eyes widened in shock.
"Himawari, what are you-" His next words died as another pig slammed into his forehead before careening off into the corner. Himawari continued speaking as if nothing had happened, reaching for the next pig.
"So don't you dare! Don't you dare try to tell me that I'm not your family! That I am not me!" Hot, acidic tears blurred her vision and stung her eyes. Pain, rage and misery choked her but she refused to stop.
She would keep talking.
She'd keep talking and screaming. She would throw things and hit her father. Himawari would never stop fighting.
Not until Sasuke pulled his head out of the sand and listened to what she was saying.
She'd heard the truth now. The truth she'd been so afraid of hearing had been heard and it hadn't changed a thing.
The shade that was Himawari Uzumaki hadn't crawled from the depths of her mind to erase all that SHE was and claim HER life.
One day, if that Himawari did return, then she would fight her with all her strength.
I'm not her. I'm me. If I have to throw every Kami damned thing in this room at him to make sure Dad understands that, then I will.
"I am Himawari Uchiha!" The next pig, an ugly thing in a bamboo hat, struck his shoulder hard enough that Sasuke took a step back. "I am your daughter and you are my father!"
Pig number four was dressed up as a ballerina and Sasuke was forced to duck before it could smash into his eye. The pig went sailing overhead and out the window.
It felt good.
Each and every one of those horrible little figurines she sent flying felt good even though she was miserable.
Her heart and soul were bleeding and Himawari needed her father to make it stop.
"We are Uchiha and we don't just give up on each other! We fight and we hate and we love more than anyone else!" Sasuke's eyes shined with silent tears. He stayed silent though, watching her even as the fifth porcine figurine smashed itself to pieces on his hip.
He looked at Himawari as if she were the most beautiful thing in the world. Then Sasuke faded into a blur as Himawari could no longer see past her tears.
"You taught me that! You taught me everything I know!" The words came out in choked sobs even as she clumsily reached into the sling for the next pig. As her fingertips brushed the cold porcelain, she realised it was the last one.
The last weapon in her arsenal. Himawari had to make it count. "You are-" She could barely speak. Every word a challenge now as huge wracking sobs dominated her.
"You are my clan and my family and I'll fight anyone who tries to take that from me! Even if it's you, or the ghosts of the past!"
Sasuke's arms came around her and the final pig fell to the floor, forgotten as Himari returned the embrace, hugging her father tightly.
"You're my dad." She sobbed into his chest, crying out her pain.
Sasuke didn't reply, rubbing small circles into her back with and humming a soothing tune. The pair of them stood there for a long time as Himawari's cries and sobs faded to small sniffles and hiccups.
What is he thinking? What does he think of me?
The thoughts whirled around inside of her.
Do you see me now, Dad? Do you know who I am?
Exhaustion, both emotional and physical seeped deep into her bones and suddenly, all Himawari wanted was to lie down.
If she'd failed… If Sasuke didn't understand…
Suddenly the only thing Himawari wanted was to be left alone. To hide beneath the covers and never rise again.
I don't know what I'll do if…
Her spiralling thoughts ground to a halt as Sasuke pulled back and looked down at her. He never let her go though, even as Himawari wiped her eyes and stared up at him miserably.
"Do you remember when I taught you how to waterwalk? At Corsair's Oasis, near that shitty little town in the Land of Wind?" Sasuke asked her softly. Himawari frowned, puzzled by the sudden change in topic.
"Yeah?" Himawari replied bemusedly. "You let me get soaked half a dozen times."
"That's right." Sasuke nodded with a small smile. "Then you stole my dinner."
Himawari thumped a bloody fist against his chest half-heartedly and Sasuke obligingly grunted as if it had hurt.
"I told you about Naruto then, do you remember?" Sasuke prompted gently, eyes watching her for her reaction. What he was looking for, she couldn't say but Himawari humoured him.
It felt like a test.
Himawari frowned, her face scrunched up and trying to recall the memory.
"Not really." She told him after a moment, with a soft shake of her head, her hair shaking back and forth like a dark curtain in accompaniment.
"Naruto is the Hokage of the Hidden Leaf… But he's also my best friend."
"You are my best friend's daughter." Sasuke reiterated. Himawari opened her mouth to deny him but he stopped her with a finger to her lips.
Something hardened in his eyes then. A resolve that lifted her spirits and hope flared within her.
"But you're my daughter too."
The next few days were spent in recovery. The nursing staff and the doctor, a crochety old woman, wasted no time in berating Sasuke for allowing Himawari out of bed and her current condition. She'd torn six stitches, ripped open her arm with the IV and set back her recovery significantly.
Sasuke accepted all their admonishment with an apology and a small smile. He hadn't stopped smiling. Not since Himawari finally managed to beat it into his thick skull that he was her father and always would be. He'd smiled right through into the next day until Himawari tried to stretch her legs. He'd ratted her out to the doctor then with a stern turn to his lips.
She was now on strict bed rest after the doctor threatened to immobilize her if she pulled another stunt like that again. Himawari couldn't have cared less.
When she slept, she didn't dream for which she was profoundly grateful. Himawari found that she had no desire to return to the Void.
When she and Sasuke spoke, they made sure to keep their topics of conversation light. The scars were still too fresh to address the issue of her parentage.
"Do we have to leave?" It was the sixth day of her recovery. The sixth day of lying in bed with nothing to do except think. It was enough to drive a person mad. Sasuke lay beside her, a newspaper in his hand and a pencil in the other. The sight always brought a smile to her lips.
Her father had a weakness for crossword puzzles. One of his quirks that most people never got to see. The fact that he wasn't very good at them just made the whole thing even funnier to her.
The time she'd spent recovering had done wonders for him as well. He stayed by her side throughout all of it, sleeping on the chaise lounge no matter how many times Himawari insisted the bed was big enough for him too. The bags under his eyes had faded and his skin no longer seemed so drawn and tight. If he'd gained 20 years in the last week, Himawari reckoned he'd lost ten now.
"We do."
"Where will we go?" The thought of leaving made her sad. They had built a life in the Capital. She had made friends and the thought of saying goodbye to Kouki saddened her.
"Konoha."
That shocked her and Himawari looked at him in alarm.
"Why?" She demanded.
"You are Himawari Uchiha." Sasuke told her, settling her fears that he'd changed his mind when he softly emphasized her last name. "But you still owe it to yourself to find answers."
That didn't please her, and Himawari pursed her lips, letting it show. "I don't want answers!" The words came out like a well-rehearsed script.
"I know kid." Sasuke sighed and looked over at her. "Himawari, you can't let fear of the past rule your life. You deserve to know who you were so that you can become whoever you are meant to be."
"I don't want to remember." Himawari insisted, turning away from Sasuke to look at the window.
"Remember when we first met? That little shrine in the middle of nowhere?" Sasuke asked after a moment.
"I remember you stealing my food." Himawari replied, a small playful smile tugging at her lips as she turned her head back towards him.
"I remember you offering it to me." Sasuke snorted in reply with a wave of his newspaper.
"Freeloader." Himawari accused with a giggle.
"Brat." Sasuke shot back with a small chuckle before his mien turned serious. "You were scared but you never let it stop you. You fought against everyone and everything. You made a promise to the man who'd saved your life."
Himawari opened her mouth to reply but Sasuke spoke first. "I know what you're going to say." He poked at her cheek with his pencil, making her grimace. "Uchiha's don't break their word. Going back allows you to fulfil that promise."
That wasn't fair.
Himawari had chosen who she was, the name that defined her and now Sasuke was using it against her.
"Don't you think that, at the very least, Himawari Uzumaki's family deserves to know what happened to their daughter?" Sasuke asked her.
They don't know what happened?
The thought was a sobering one and Himawari couldn't help but consider it.
"I…" The words trailed off. She didn't know what to say.
"You're mine. You have the heart of an Uchiha no matter whose blood runs through your veins. You will always have a home with me and, whatever decisions you make, I will support you." Sasuke's words slid past her defences and Himawari reached for the only objection she had left.
The only one that didn't make her seem like a petulant child at any rate.
"What if I don't like what I find?"
"Then we leave." Sasuke responded. "And good luck to anyone who tries to stop us."
His words undid a knot inside her chest and Himawari let out a sigh of relief. That was definitely something her father would do. He'd fought off assassins, kidnappers and a whole army to save her once.
Himawari had no doubts that he would burn the village down if he needed to get them out safely.
"What about you?" Himawari asked. She knew that Sasuke must have his own reasons for returning to the Leaf. She had a pretty good idea of what they were too.
"I have my own answers to find." Sasuke replied, his grip on the pencil tightening.
"The girl? The one with the Sharingan?"
"Sarada. Yes." Sasuke confirmed with a nod. He said her name strangely, as if he were unsure whether to be happy or mad.
"Is she a clone? Did they use your DNA or something?" It was the only thing Himawari could think of to explain it. Her words were beginning to slur.
The drugs are kicking in again.
Her father hesitated before answering. "I don't know." He said eventually. "But Naruto is one of the people I'd very much like to ask about it."
"I'm scared." Himawari confessed in a murmur, feeling the drugs from the fresh IV kick in again, making her sleepy.
"I know." Sasuke said softly. He finished his crossword before setting the paper aside with a sigh.
"Want to hear a secret?" Sasuke turned to her but Himawari was already asleep. Tenderly, he brushed a stray lock of hair away from her face and gazed down at her.
"I'm scared too."
HI NO KUNI- FIRE CAPITAL
THE THRONE ROOM
The Great and Benevolent Kasai Majima, Lord of the Inferno Guard, Protector of the Land, Keeper of the Flame and Daimyo of Fire stared at his friend with concern in his watery eyes.
The great and Benevolent Kasai Majima was rather short and rotund for someone of such glorious majesty and he possessed a set of jowls that were wont to quiver when he spoke.
Bedecked in finery and ornamentation fit only for the Lord of the Inferno Host, the Fire Daimyo still found himself barely able to reach Sasuke's neckline. That was with his great and benevolent hat as well.
"Are you sure this is what you want, my friend?" The Lord of the Inferno Host squeaked. Sasuke smiled at the man.
His friendship with the Fire Daimyo was a curious thing. Certainly, it was one of the strangest bonds that he had forged over the course of his life but one which had proven its value time and time again.
Naruto had proven to be a good Hokage as far as the shinobi residents of the Leaf were concerned. He was popular with the ninja though his attitude towards the civilian population left something to be desired.
Whilst he'd cared for them and sought to protect them, Naruto had never forgotten how they'd treated him when he was a child. That had translated into adulthood with him giving priority to shinobi matters before all others. Something which had done little to ensure his good standing with the regular folk of the city.
It had also caused great strife in Naruto's dealings with the Daimyo.
So, Sasuke had stepped in. His popularity with the citizens had never wavered, the truth of his defection to Oto kept secret from them. In their eyes, he was still the poor boy who'd suffered a terrible tragedy, been abandoned by the shinobi echelon and had helped save the world regardless.
This combined with an innate gift for politics had seen the Uchiha dispatched to the Capital on numerous occasions on Naruto's behalf.
It was on his third visit that the Daimyo's son had been kidnapped. It had taken Sasuke a little over a day to catch up to the criminals, mercenaries from Ishi, then rescue the Daimyo's son, forging a friendship with the man in the process.
"Not at all. But it's the path we need to take." Sasuke replied, focusing back on the present. He bowed to the Daimyo. "I thank you again for all the help you've given me and my daughter."
Daimyo Majima went red with embarrassment and waved his hands frantically in protest.
"Not at all, Lord Uchiha! You saved my son's life. You know the debt I owe you. You will always have a place in the Capital and in my court."
"The Hidden Leaf won't stand for that, I'm afraid." Sasuke apologized with a small smile. The Daimyo was a good man. Spoiled and a little ugly but a true friend.
When he'd heard that Chiaki had approached the palace gates seeking the aid of his personal physician on Sasuke's behalf, the Daimyo had wasted no time.
An entire platoon of his crimson armoured samurai, the Inferno Guard, escorted the two women to Sasuke's bar, even through the raging storm. They'd arrested Konohamaru and Sarada, picking up the other Genin shortly after. The Daimyo had even given them the use of his deceased wife's rooms for Himawari to convalesce in.
"Let the Hokage rage against the wind. The Leaf serves at my pleasure, not the other way around." Majima waved off his concerns as if it were nothing.
"Tensions are high my lord. There is another Hidden War and the Hokage knows I can help end the conflict."
"A Shadow Hokage for a Hidden War, is it?" The Daimyo smirked, jabbing an elbow into his side to show his good humour. Sasuke snorted obligingly though he found none of it amusing.
"Still, sending a full team of shinobi into my city without my leave?" The Daimyo tutted, shaking his head from side to side. "Sedition is what it is. The Concord of Fire clearly states that my permission is needed for any shinobi operations to be conducted within the Capital's territories. My permission! The Hokage is lucky I haven't sent him back their heads."
The thought of Sarada's head on a spike sent a cold chill down Sasuke's spine. It was a threat without merit. He knew the Daimyo was a kind man with a good heart. But he was also a noble with a noble's attitude, sensibilities and the power to enforce his will in whatever manner he so wished.
"You will have to forgive Lord Uzumaki, my Lord." Sasuke countered, seeking to deescalate the situation. "The subtleties of politics were never his strong suit."
The Daimyo scoffed, signaling with his hand. A servant rushed from the shadows to serve him a glass of Firewine. "It can make one wonder whether he is fit to be Hokage at all."
"Where are the Shinobi now, my Lord?" Sasuke asked, avoiding the conversational trap entirely.
"Under house arrest in the East Wing. The Inferno Guard are making sure they remain…civil. I have plans to send them crawling back to the Leaf with their tails between their filthy legs in a few days." The Daimyo took a sip of the wine, grimaced and beckoned the servant to take it away.
"I need to speak with them." Sasuke told him. The Daimyo graced him with a slow and lazy blink. He cocked his head to the side, curiously.
"The purpose of this meeting?" The Daimyo asked lazily.
"To talk about the future."
There you have it!
The truth is finally out there and things are chugging along a bit more smoothly plotwise.
I hope that you guys enjoyed it.
Until next time on Those Who Are Found.