Two Friends, Two Hearts

Note: Ash is about to turn twenty in this one, while Misty is one and a half years older than him.

(Misty's pov)

There I was again tonight

Forcing laughter, faking smiles

Same old tired, lonely place

Walls of insincerity

Shifting eyes and vacancy

Vanished when I saw your face

All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you

-Enchanted (Taylor Swift)

Chapter 1: The art of wrecking your love life

If there was an award for all of the times I made a fool of myself in my dating history, this might take the cake.

It's the same old tale. We started off great, had good chemistry, and were finally on second base after months of talking, but never really had the talk. I thought, naturally, this whole act would descend into a relationship, and it seemed like he felt the same way. But the moment I initiated the talk, he flipped.

What were his words?

I haven't really thought about it. I really like you, but I need to think.

How much time does he need to think? It's been two weeks and still no proper response. We met last week at the Indigo league office during the league meeting and he acted as if nothing happened. He didn't even try to ask me to meet outside the office to talk it out, nor has he called to just talk to me. It's always because he has to call me for work. I mean I'm not gonna eat him alive if that's what he's afraid of.

I don't usually make a fool of myself like this and I'm definitely not someone who jumps straight into a relationship the moment I meet potential boyfriend material. I'm all for testing the waters first and taking things slow. But, would it kill him to clarify things? All I want is clear communication, not these childish games.

But the most infuriating fact in this situation is that he made a move on me first. He was desperate to talk to me. I'm out of his league, according to Brock and Ash. He made me fall for him so badly and then he took a big step back and made me look like an idiot.

So tonight when I go back to my room, I can tear away the sheets all I want, I'll punch the wall until my fist hurts, and I'll scream in the pillow until my throat feels raw. But I just need enough patience to get through this 'after work' dinner party thing. This boring ass party.

Oh, don't even get me started on this stupid party which is draining the very last bit of my energy. It was organized by the League's HR team, who thought that maybe hosting a fancy yearly crew meeting was not enough, and that some extravagant –even fancier– after party would make us all happy. I'd rather they use that money to give us better resources. That would truly make us happy. On top of that, they decided to have a separate party for our Pokèmon. How was that a sensible choice? We are pokèmon trainers! We're nothing without our pokemon, and, ten times boring without them.

The crew meeting was earlier today, from morning to afternoon and I had to contribute too, by doing a little presentation on how I became one of the top gym leaders even after starting when my gym was at its lowest, that too in less time frame compared to generally however time it takes to reach at the top. Which, in my opinion, is the most useless thing to make a presentation on because it's way too complex of a process to keep track of. But I still managed to do a decent job, considering I had to present it in front of a big audience which had many important people–who are kinda hard to impress–as well as many new faces and most of them looked like they were impressed. I guessed that on the basis of that big round of applause I received when I was done.

Do I not deserve a reward for that? Just let me go home, Mewdamnit! Why do I have to attend the dinner and chat with these "very important" league officers? I'm miserably failing to make a casual small talk with any of them without them mentioning stuff like the damn paperwork or my Gym's performance. The moment one of these oldies open their mouths to share their wisdom, one cell in my brain dies. And no, I'm not letting the "success" get in my head. It's just the formal theme of this party is not entertaining my body's needs of always requiring something comfortable to wear. These shoes are like needles to my heels. I would love to talk to these people any other day but today, I'm really tired after the meeting and just upset about the whole being ghosted thing and having to see that person during the meeting–he was an assistant and was taking notes– while also knowing that I'll have to see him again during the dinner, that too without showing any sign of agitation or annoyance on my face. So I really just want a day off. It's been overwhelming enough already.

But, very reluctantly, here I am, standing in the big hall, surrounded by a soft chatter, and talking to Mr. Charles Beecher, a former gym leader, now a part of the Indigo league committee.

"Miss Wallflower, you certainly are a funny one with your psyduck stories." Mr. Beecher laughed, wrinkles being a prominent part of his smile other than his shiny golden tooth, together overpowering his rest of the facial features. I wanted to correct him that it's Waterflower, but why bother when he will forget my name no matter how many times I tell it to him. I should give him a break, he is what? Seventy? And one of the few people who don't think I'm crazy.

I try to give a convincing laugh by repeating his name in my head. Beecher. Bitcher. Bitch-er. Middle school must've been a nightmare for this old man. "My Psyduck sure is one of a kind." I laugh, for whole other reasons.

Mr. Beecher looked over my shoulder, his wrinkly eyes following the person behind me who was walking up to us, "Oh my! Look who is here! The Indigo league winner!" He chirped, raising his wine glass in the direction of Mr. 'Indigo league winner'.

Great timing, Ash!

I wanted to correct him that Ash is actually Kanto champion now, after beating Elite four and Lance two years ago, but poor Mr. Beecher is so excited to see him that I don't want to insult him.

I heard Ash's awkward laugh getting closer behind me, so I turned in his direction to greet him. "Oh, Mr. Pokemon Master, so good to see you!" I bowed dramatically, just to enjoy his reaction, which –like always– is him rolling his eyes, while trying to hide the annoyance behind an obligatory smile. Not because he hated the name, but because this has been a running joke between us since we were kids. Me sarcastically calling him Mr. Pokemon Master when he was doing the silliest things. Which is even funnier now, since he is the Pokemon master. The joke very obviously flew over Mr Bitcher's head.

"Mr Beecher, Miss Waterflower! Pleasure to see you!" He shook hands with us respectively.

"How is everything back in Pallet, Mr. Ketchum?" Mr. Beecher asked.

"Please call me Ash, sir!" He laughed. "We're lucky we didn't freeze to death last night in the storm. Otherwise it's pleasant."

Mr. Beecher laughed. "You two never fail to make me laugh." How can he find everything so funny?

"How's Mrs. Beecher, sir?" Ash asked.

"Beautiful as always," he said. "Though she has started a new hobby of underwater diving with her Pokemon."

That caught my attention. "That's so cool! How is she liking it?"

"She's loving it," he replied disapprovingly. "I just want her to stay safe at our age."

"You should be happy, Mr Beecher," Ash winked. "If she can swim, she can save you from drowning and save the world. You'll be her burden."

That little shit. He's never letting that go is he? So what if I called him my burden when I was twelve? It wasn't romantic. Melody was getting on my nerves and he was dying. Curse you Tracey for telling him the details.

Poor Mr. Beecher looked very confused and just laughed along, possibly assuming it's some modern slang. "Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta say hello to Miss Synn!" He smiled and walked away.

Ash stepped closer to me and said quietly, "Mr. Bitcher and Miss Sin, huh?" And I couldn't help but snort.

"I know right! It was killing me that no one else hears it!"

He laughed with me. "Everyone else here aren't monsters to mock the oldest employees of the office, Mist."

"Whatever. This party is killing me, I need some form of entertainment. Though I did not enjoy the 'swimmer' joke."

"No biggie, he didn't get it anyway. And what's with the complaining? There's free food, I don't see why anyone would not like that?"

"I'm just not in the mood." I sipped on my wine.

Ash whistled and sang something in between which sounded like, "Someone got ghosted…"

I shook my head. "Let's not right now. I don't wanna go into a pre-quarter-life crisis right in the middle of a party. Or whatever you wanna call this."

He clicked his tongue making a very disappointed tsk-tsk sound and said, "that asshole." We clinked our wine glasses, celebrating my, yet another, failed attempt to find a decent man. "Why do you even try with guys like him? What was his name again? Stephen Yamada?"

"Steve Yamada." I corrected it.

He made an ugly face. "More like Steve Jerkface. Another jerk among the other jerks that you've "dated"."

"Ryan was-"

"A jerk." He cut me off.

"Okay…What about-"

"Nope."

"I didn't even say his name!"

"You don't need to. I remember all of them. All a bunch of jerks." He sipped on his beverage with the other hand in his pocket. He really thinks he can pull the 'guy in a suit sipping wine' look but that isn't even wine. It just looks like wine. It's fruit beer in a wine glass because he isn't twenty yet.

"No one asked you." I huffed in frustration. Okay, I know none of those dates worked out, but that doesn't mean I have the absolute worst taste in men. "With that brain of yours, I'm amazed you remember them all, Pallet town."

He rolled his eyes. "Mandatory joke about me being dumb," he raised his glass, "check."

I smirked. "You love to keep a record of everything I do, how cute."

He leaned forward, "are you calling me cute-"

"I will cut off your tongue," I deadpanned. I would love to bicker with him any other day, which is usually a life saver in these boring after-work dinner parties, but not today.

A cocky grin spread across his face. "I can make another infuriating comment about you noticing my mouth too much, but I wanna live a long life."

"Glad you chose the path of peace." I said.

"But seriously, Mist. He's just keeping you on the hook," he explained.

As if I don't know. As if it isn't embarrassing that I'm kept on the hook by someone who I normally wouldn't even look at. He's not ugly (quite the opposite actually), he's just…not my type. The thing about being on the hook is that your desire for that person's attention wins over the little voice in your head that screams 'where's your self respect!?' And just like that, no matter how many times someone calls me out on my delusions, I still end up thinking that whatever he does is a hint he's dropping to let me know how insanely in love he is with me. And I always end up hoping that things will get sorted somehow. Maybe tonight he'll see me in this dress and realize he's missing out on such a treat. It's almost humiliating.

"Giving him one last chance won't hurt, Ash," I defended whatever self respect I'm left with.

He rolled his eyes.

I wanted to say that you shouldn't give me such advice when recently you have made a world record of ruining all your first dates. But I know that will hurt him a lot, knowing he broke with Serena about a year ago. A year is a lot of time to move on, but I'm not sure if he has. It was pure luck on his side that he ended up with someone like her in the first place just because she had a crush on him since childhood. I've met Serena, she could ask me out and I would have to think twice before rejecting the offer.

We stayed silent for a while, me sipping on my wine and him sipping on whatever kids drink he's having.

My eyes were constantly scanning the whole area, trying to find a trace of Steve. Expecting him to appear any moment and fall madly in love with me.

But I was given a cruel reality check.

There he was, vandalizing my faith in modern dating. His arms were linked with a pretty lady and they were smiling at each other, not even bothering to look around.

But not so easy, Steve. You don't waste my time like this just to get another pretty girl to hookup with. No, I'll give you a piece of my mind, or even better, a piece of my fist right-fucking-now.

Maybe Ash read my thoughts and traced my gaze to where Steve was standing, because he looked back at me with a little bit of sympathy and a whole lot of terror when he saw I chugged down the rest of my drink rather aggressively and was ready to storm up to Steve to punch him in the face.

"So, wanna leave the party early? Can we go to the beach?" He asked with a sense of urgency in his voice.

"Let me just-"

"No you won't." He grabbed my wrist and whispered hotly. "You want to ruin your reputation in front of every important person in the league over a guy who couldn't even score a paid internship?"

"Well, most of the people already think I'm crazy. They literally called me Crazy Misty," I shrugged.

"No, they think you were crazy as a teenager," he said calmly, trying not to attract any attention, "and you worked very hard to change your image from an out of control teen to a responsible and mature woman. I won't let you ruin it."

"But I'm not a responsible and mature woman, at least not the kind they think I am."

"We know that. And I love that you're fierce and strong. But you and I both have to put on a mask here, I don't love it either but it has to be done. We can unleash ourselves when we battle."

"What do you expect me to do here?" I asked.

"Nothing that'll make the league lose trust in you."

I clicked my tongue defensively. "Okay, let's leave for now."

He let go of my hand and sighed, "thank you."

We scurried towards the exit from the sidelines, making sure to walk out unnoticed because we can't be seen leaving the party together or leaving the party with crazy Misty will ruin his image.

"But I will ruin his day some other time." I said as we stepped outside the venue.

"In private?"

"In private."

We took a cab to Indigo Beach. It's our favorite hangout spot, usually after a long day of meetings and paperwork. It happens quite often when we're both in the office, or during our overnight stays on the island due to some conference. The only difference being we didn't bring out Pokémon this time. Our party was boring but theirs is a banger.

The moment we stepped outside the cab, I knew Ash was going to insist that we stop by Sam's, it's a food truck at the entrance of the beach.

"Can't wait to eat Sam's Tacos!" He said.

I smiled. "I thought you just had dinner."

"That was an hour ago, Mist."

"I guess we can stop by. We'll have takeout and we'll eat it at our favorite spot, how does that sound?"

Ash's smile turned to a toothy grin. He patted me on the back and pulled me under his arm. "Let's go!"

It didn't take us more than fifteen minutes to place our order at Sam's truck, have a little chat with him about the tourism on the island, grab our tacos and walk away.

As we walked further away from civilization, the lights of the island's buildings that I was able to see a while ago started to fade behind the gradually increasing density of trees. The sand started to feel much cleaner and untouched. The waves were crashing on the shore so aggressively yet so beautifully. I could finally smell the clean scent of the beach now. We reached the part of the beach which was straight out of a 'Man vs. Wild' episode', like one of those abandoned islands where one side is the ocean and the other side has a forest.

Ash was halfway done with his Taco while I was just getting started. It's harder to eat while walking, but I guess he couldn't resist. He made a weird noise, like he was trying to say something but his mouth is stuffed with food so he can't. He took a big gulp and finally spoke. "Bold of you to come here, on this abandoned side of the beach with me everytime. I could be a psychopath you know. I could murder you"

"Psychopath? You'd be more like a narcissist. You may have the drive to kill but you can feel the shame." I said with a snicker.

"And, I actually might lose my shame and act on my murderous instinct if I hear your stupid theory one more time."

I laughed. I firmly believe that it's a little less humid on this side of the beach because of the forest, regardless of the correlation between woods and humidity or Ash's strong disagreement to this theory.

Anyways, we finally found our perfect spot, so I sat on the cool sand, where the waves could barely touch us. It's so peaceful here, perfect opportunity to vent out my feelings.

"I don't know about you but I was ready to murder Steve tonight." I said dusting away the sand from my skirt. This was Ash's cue to stay silent and just listen. "I mean if I had a penny for every time a guy kept me on the hook because I did not want something casual with a co-worker and instead of speaking to me directly like an adult –even after our months of talking– he rejected my feelings in an asshole kind of way by silently embarrassing me by bringing an objectively hotter woman as his date to an office event, I'd have two pennies. Which isn't a lot but, it's weird that it happened twice."

"Why do I see a pattern here, Mist." Ash laughed. I glared at him, so to save himself he tried to overpower his laugh by fake coughs.

I hugged my knees, putting the taco box beside me. I could feel his piercing gaze fixed at me. "Majority of the people in the league hate me, they tolerate me just because of my match records and Lorelei's love for me. My sisters barely tolerate me. And now my boyfriends don't want me either. So basically everyone hates me."

"Hey, I like you!" He protested. "Are you really forgetting the undefeatable power of friendship? All your friends love you."

"But I'm not dating you, am I?" I asked. Then I sighed, putting my hand on his knee, "you have no idea how grateful I am to have you in my life, all of you. Having friends like you guys is basically a blessing for me, I love you guys more than I could ever express. But I just…"

"You what?"

"I've been trying the dating thing for a while now…and I feel like I'm a bit intolerable."

"Anyone who says that is a fool," he said, his voice soft. "But you do have an issue with romance, and I know you hate to talk about it."

I picked on my toe nail for a minute. Then I groaned, spreading my legs, letting them sink in the soft sand which tickled my toes. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You know."

"Okay," I groaned again. "I know everyone thinks that I can't make a single guy stay with me even though I go on too many dates, so it makes me a loser because I'm over twenty one and never had a real relationship. But is having a boyfriend some kind of success milestone?"

"It isn't, and that's not what I'm talking about," he pressed. "It's not about people wanting to stay with you. It's rather about you wanting them to stay. Most times, you just push everyone away when they start to get serious. Excluding rare times like these when your radar finds these jerks who have no intention for anything real."

"So you think the whole Steve thing is my fault? I chose this for myself?"

"Steve is a jerk. I'm talking about good guys like Georgio, or Rudy or the surfer guy you dated last year."

"I thought you hated Rudy."

"I do, but it doesn't change the fact that he loved you. And Georgio was head over heels for you and very much heartbroken when you dumped him in, what? Two months?"

"Three."

"And the surfer guy literally almost drowned himself for you."

"What are you expecting me to admit?" I looked at him sharply. "Do you want me to admit that I butcher any and every possibility of a genuine relationship? That I don't trust guys when they say they genuinely like me? You want me to display all my insecurities on a silver platter so you can play the therapist?" I said and instantly regretted saying it the way I did. I might have been a bit rude.

"Calm down, Mist. Don't attack me," he retaliated, his eyes narrowed. "I just pointed out something I noticed. I have no interest in doing bad therapy for free, I'll rather charge you for it. Neither do I want to fight you on this."

"Good, then. Because even if you were trying to," I did air quote sign with my fingers, "advise me on how I should look into my issues, don't. I'm aware and I'm trying to work on it and that's enough." That's a lie, I'm not working on it. "I just wanted you to listen to me as I rant!" I didn't realize when my voice went up, like I was yelling. I hugged my knees again, hanging my head low on my palms. "I didn't mean to shout." I whispered.

I felt him shifting closer to me. He put his hand around my shoulder and pulled me closer, "I know."

And I feel so safe after hearing that. No matter what happens in my love life, this is one thing I'm forever grateful for– to have a friend like Ash who's comfortable enough to be completely raw in front of me. Who is not afraid of a screaming match if that means he gets to make a point for my betterment. And I am free enough to do the same for him. It's refreshing.

I looked up and leaned towards him, our faces close. "Thank you for tolerating me, Ash." I nudged him slightly with my shoulder.

He shrugged and let out a soft laugh, "I forgive you."

I couldn't hold back a chuckle myself, "wasn't apologizing." I teased.

He giggled, his eyes closing as he did so. His nose and the corner of his eyes gets a little wrinkled when he genuinely laughs and he has a very subtle dimple on one cheek. I looked at his face closely, I never noticed he has a little mole below his eyes. It's small and cute. His nose is covered with freckles and they spread up to his cheeks where they start to disappear. My eyes went up, looking into his eyes.

I flicked my eyes away from him.

He looked away too, shifting away from me and taking his hand away from my shoulder, like how he was sitting before. "Okay, let's leave it there." He said, looking at the waves that crashed closer to us now, I think the tides are gonna be higher.

"Thank you," I smiled. "It was getting embarrassing for me."

"Hey, I've had my fair share of embarrassing stories too." His eyes flicked towards me before looking back at the ocean.

"Yes you do." I laughed.

He furrowed his brows. "We jumped way too quickly to that, huh?"

"We both do," I took a bite from my taco. "If we are counting it, then, I almost kissed this one guy who turned out to be a con-man trying to steal my Pokemon."

He laughed, "did you learn nothing from team Rocket?"

I rolled my eyes. "You should have seen him. He had a Rudy-like charm."

He mumbled under his breath, "that idiot Rudy…"

I smirked. "I also accidentally went to a queer bar once and did not realize that I was leading on a woman. I really thought she was just being friendly."

Wiping his mouth with his shirt's sleeve and crushing the wrapper in a ball-like shape, Ash joked something that sounded like, "I thought you liked girls."

I hit him on his arm. "Shut up. Then the coworker that I thought I was dating, brought another woman to an office party right around Valentine's day. Then there's Steve."

"Arceus." He laughed. "Umm…okay, yeah, so…there was this girl, who thought that dating me would help her make professional connections with Professor Oak, so she went on two dates with me. She insisted the third date to be at Oak's lab to see all my Pokémon then get some dinner, but the moment we reached the lab, she ignored me and kept talking to Prof, and after a while, just told me that it's not working out for her and did a six month internship at Oak's Lab."

I scoffed, "She could've just asked you to refer her to Professor. Why the hassle to deal with you."

"No more stories for you."

"Okay, okay. I'll zip it," I giggled.

He started making a castle with the sand. "Well, Gary and I got into a big fight when we were sixteen because I made a move on his sister. He knocked me off in front of her, it was pretty embarrassing."

"Daisy? But isn't she older?"

"Not much, she's about your age."

"So older by a year and a half," I noted.

"Just add six more months."

"Okay, two years." I nodded. "But why fight over this? If you dated Daisy, wouldn't that be more convenient for Gary?"

He rolled his eyes, "because Gary and I had this rule that sisters, cousins and moms are off limits. And I was the one who proposed this."

"What about grandmothers?"

"None alive."

"Mew, Ash, I was kidding," I laughed. "And seriously, moms?"

Ash blushed, "shut up! You have no idea how bad of a crush Gary had on my mom. And he was a very curious teen."

I laughed even harder, "what the hell?"

"He literally kissed anything that moved, don't laugh at me!"

"Okay!" I breathed. "And what's the deal with cousins? Did he make a move on your cousin too?"

"Leaf? Nah." Ash shrugged. "But she's our age, so what are the chances he tries? I don't want my cousin to end up being another prey for Mr. Womanizer. She used to be my best friend before she moved away, so I had to protect her."

"And what are her thoughts on this matter?"

"She doesn't really care to be honest."

"So you guys fought for no reason at all? I'm sure Daisy doesn't care about this stupid rule either."

"Apparently Gary did when he shoved me into the river."

I giggled. "I'm sorry."

"You don't sound very sorry."

I controlled my laugh. "Please continue."

He continued making his castle. His face looks so weirdly pretty when he is focused on something. Then he stopped and sighed. "Then there's Serena." He snickered.

Why would he laugh? Since when is his coping mechanism humor? I'm surprised he even brought her up. But if he's finally ready to talk about her without feeling sulky then great.

"How long did you guys even date?" I asked.

He paused to think. "I think about seven months? I would say eight but the first month was very confusing for me. Then it took me another month to catch her pace."

"You make it sound like you were the one being chased." I said, rolling my eyes.

He laughed. "Not to sound egoistic-"

"Impossible."

"But I kind of was," he said. "I never realized, but she always liked me, even after growing up."

"Mhm…surprising but go on."

"And two years ago, when I was visiting May in Hoenn, I met Serena after a long time. We did lots of catching up that week. She confessed to me and then eventually asked me out."

I could feel the effect of this shock in my widened eyes. "It's so hard to believe she asked you out?!"

"Why is that hard to believe, are you even on my side?"

I threw my hands in the air. "Hey! Girlhood first!"

He scoffed, pointing his finger alternately at himself and me. "And what about this silly little thing called friendship?!"

I giggled. "You know girls flock over you all the time, you literally have a fan club. You don't need me stroking your ego."

He scoffed again.

"You know what I mean," I defended myself. "She is a complete package you know. She is talented, famous, independent, has a great sense of style, elegant, classy, hot and most importantly, French."

He whistled. "It seems to me you've got a crush on her!" Ash said while laughing.

I blushed. "No. I meant that I have talked to her two or three times in total, out of which only one time in person when you brought her home for Christmas, and I thought she was really cool and had really cute Pokémon. That's all."

Which is true. I really admired her. But I was also a little insecure, because compared to her I don't exactly fit in the classic standards of beauty. She always manages to look beautiful even while traveling while I mostly stick to my comfort clothes even though I really like the idea of dressing up. So she inspired me to be a little prouder of my feminine side. Not only Serena, but May and Dawn inspired me in that sense too.

He scrunched his nose. "The thing about my relationship with Serena was, there was a lot of love and admiration for each other. But there are a lot of things that set us apart. I'm very thankful that she loved me even though I am not the most romantic guy out there. There were times when I felt she deserves someone who wants the same things as her. There were times when I felt she kept me on a pedestal, you know. I just wanted someone with whom I can just…I don't know…we were just different, I guess. And I was not a very good boyfriend either. I didn't know what I was doing most of the time, and as you may know, I'm a bit slow in the romance department so It was hard for me to switch from friendship to love so suddenly. I accept that I made a lot of mistakes but us being long-distance did not help either."

I don't know what kind of boyfriend he was, but he's a decent human being for not badmouthing his ex like a lot of people do.

"Long distance rarely works out. Or at least that's what I've seen," I said.

"Right?! I really thought we could pull it off, but then there was always some sort of miscommunication on top of our differences. I was eighteen and was new to my league duties, I was confused and busy most of the time, I couldn't manage my priorities and I accept I wasn't giving her the time she deserved. It was good while it lasted, our mutual attraction helped us stay as long as we did. But that only lasted a few months and eventually, we both felt it was not working out."

"Right person wrong timing, I guess?"

"Maybe."

I clicked my tongue. We fell silent for a brief moment. Perhaps he is also thinking the same thing as I am. "Dating your friend can really fuck the friendship up, huh?" I stated. "If the relationship works out, then great! You've earned yourself a partner who's also your best friend, but boy if it doesn't, congrats! You just lost your partner and your friend."

He let out a breath while chuckling gently. "Sad but true."

I looked at him, "So, friends are off limits, huh?"

His gaze shifted from the sea to me. Why am I just noticing that his eyes are such a pretty shade of brown?

He abruptly broke eye contact and looked down. "Yup. Perhaps they are. Off limits."

I'm sure you can see where this is going, that's why I was strongly inclining towards not uploading this ANYWHERE. But here I am.

Anyways, hope you liked it!