Owen came in early the next day and declared Ianto fit to go home, with strict instructions to be on complete bed rest for three days while the wounds begin to heal. In fact, he insisted on escorting the man home himself to ensure he followed his instructions. He needn't have worried. For the first time, Ianto was glad of the excuse to get away from the Hub for more than a day.
They arrived at Ianto's flat, Ianto hobbling through the door on crutches to keep the weight off his injured side as much as possible. Owen got to work setting up Ianto's bedroom with everything he could need to minimise his reasons to move around. Ianto stood wearily as Owen bustled around him, testament to how out of it he really was. The usual Ianto would be fussing over the doctor rifling through his drawers and disorganising his room from its typical immaculacy, but between the heavy-duty painkillers and the thoughts running through his head he simply didn't have the energy. He was practically falling asleep on his feet when Owen emerged from the bedroom declaring it ready for him.
"Ok you should have everything you need, Gwen is popping around with extra bandages and ointment just in case; I've left instructions for your meds just in case you forget what I told you" Owen said, "Did you want me to call… anyone?"
Ianto shook his head, "I'll be ok for now, I'll ring if I need anything".
"Jack said take as long as you need"
"I bet he did" Ianto mumbled, making his way carefully towards the bedroom, the painkillers beginning to wear off.
"What's that mean then?"
"I… nothing" he considered talking to Owen about last night for approximately 0.2 seconds. But that was a supremely stupid idea he realised very quickly.
Ianto grabbed the landline phone to keep by his side just in case, checking the messages as he went. There was a single message from this morning.
"Hey Yan, sorry to get your machine! I was gonna pop over this evening after work if you fancy, maybe try out that new Thai takeaway. Let me know"
Jenny's cheery tone was like a punch to the gut as he lowered himself gently onto the bed. Owen had watched in silence from the corner of the room ready to step into doctor mode if Ianto needed anything getting into bed. Ianto winced as his battered body hit the soft mattress, his skin burning wherever it made contact despite the excellent bandage job Owen had done. He was distracted from it somewhat as he heard his front door burst open and heavy boots brazenly heading through it. Knowing only one person made an entrance like that he braced himself, until the footsteps stopped just outside the bedroom door and there was a nervous pause.
"knock knock" there was a hesitant voice from behind the door as Jack peeped around it, "just bringing the extra supplies. Oh, and Tosh sent some of her special hot chocolate over Ianto, she said she hopes it helps you rest" he waved a travel mug in front of the younger man who grasped for it immediately, taking a grateful sniff of the sweet beverage. He might be the king of coffee, but Tosh's hot chocolate was unmatched.
"You mean the supplies I asked Gwen to drop off on her way home?" Owen asked with an incredulous look,
"She had to rush off, something to do with the wedding photographer. Apparently, there's a mix up with… oh I stopped listening when she started ranting" Jack admitted with a dismissive wave.
Owen nodded sympathetically, "yeah, I tune all that drivel out too. Cakes and dresses and God knows what, I don't know why she thinks I care"
"Owen, I left Tosh supervising the creature's fluid sample analysis you left running, you wanted to check there wasn't anything weird in its blood that could be passed on through the spikes"
"Shit yeah I better get back and check on those, will you….be ok?" he looked to Ianto, eager to get back to relieve Tosh but realising the potentially compromising position he could be leaving him in,
"I'll be fine, I'm just going to have this and try and have a sleep" he held up the mug as a gesture goodbye
"right, good" Owen nodded, "I'll call round in the morning then, Jack see you back at the hub shortly?"
Jack nodded, "right behind you"
Owen gave a half-hearted wave and headed out, leaving Jack standing awkwardly by Ianto's bed while the Welshman looked at anything other than him, his eyes finally dropping to the cup in his hand. He moved to take a sip, not noticing the lid was loose until the contents were seeping down his front, pooling in his jogging bottoms.
"Bollocks" Ianto exclaimed, looking down in dismay, the drink had luckily not been scalding but it was still warm and went and an all-round unpleasant sensation to have in one's crotch.
"We need to get you out of those clothes" Jack said at once, moving to help.
"I can do it by myself" Ianto insisted, still refusing to look Jack in the face. He had hoped he'd get away with not seeing his boss for the whole of his bed rest period but he should've known better.
"Oh right, and how do you suppose you're gonna do that?" Jack raised an eyebrow,
"I'll just…" he hissed in pain as he shifted his weight to push his joggers down over his hips, failing miserably.
"Don't be a child Ianto just let me help"
Ianto scowled at him but nodded his acceptance, as Jack reached out to support Ianto as he tilted his hips up, thankful that his underwear was somewhat unscathed even if that meant his freshly wrapped wounds took the brunt of it. He stripped the sodden trousers off and threw them in the vague direction of the washing basket, before working on the once perfectly neat bandages that were now damp and sticky. He gingerly peeled back the bandages to reveal the injuries beneath, his eyes widening as he took in the state of it. Owen had painstakingly removed and stitched each of the barbs, but the skin was raw and swollen. Ianto took a deep breath, trying to grit his teeth against the discomfort and ignore the effect having Jack this close to him was having. He was very aware that he was basically naked in front of him.
"God that looks awful"
"Feels it too"
"Owen said the painkillers should numb it"
"You can tell Owen he's a lying twat" Ianto ground out as Jack threw the wet bandages into the bathroom bin and returned with fresh ones, "it still hurts like hell the painkillers just make me loopy"
"I'll be sure to let him know" Jack smiled, gently beginning the task of re-wrapping Ianto's thigh. His touch was featherlight, conscious of causing the young man any further pain, as he perched on the side of the bed and leaned closer. His fingertips danced expertly as he made his way carefully up Ianto's thigh to where the gashes ended just below his hipbone. He'd been professionally absorbed in his task, distancing himself from the intimate proximity he was currently sharing with the other man. That was until his attention was caught by just how much the process was affecting Ianto. Jack could hear his breath coming in ragged gasps, he'd assumed from the pain but one look up made it very clear that was only part of it. His eyes were dark, hooded with what was plainly lust, his cheeks flushed and his lips moist. With his hand almost resting on Ianto's hip, mere inches from where the most obvious indicator of his arousal was straining against his black boxers, Jack had to fight every urge in his body not to lunge at the man then and there, injured or not.
"Yan…" he murmured softly as the younger man reached towards him, taking a fistful of Jack's shirt as if to pull the other man in. Jack went more than willingly, his hand creeping from where it lay on the pristine white bandage towards the bare skin of Ianto's chest, moving along his collarbone to settle at his throat. His eyes focused on Ianto's lips, parted and perfect, drawing him closer and closer
"I can't, it's not right, I…." Ianto dropped his hand and his gaze immediately, his vision blurring from the medication or the atmosphere it was impossible to tell.
"Christ Ianto" Jack groaned, "you're killing me"
"It's those damn pheromones! You get close to me and my head's all…. Shit I can't believe I did that"
Jack stepped away from the bed, trying to clear his head, "What do you want from me?"
"I don't…. I don't know" Ianto whispered, his mind a flurry of confusion, guilt and longing.
"Damn it" Jack ran his hand through his hair in frustration, "do you know how fucking difficult this is?!"
"I realise things have changed since you went away"
"I came back to find you practically shacked up with someone who's utterly perfect for you" Jack muttered, trying to keep his mind focused on that fact rather than the tempting images floating through his head, real memories mixed with fantasies of what could've been.
"It's not easy for me either! Knowing why you left doesn't make up for the confusing shit you gave me before you left does it?!"
"I know, and if I could go back and change how I treated you then I would. But what you're doing now isn't much different is it?"
"What?" Ianto chose feigning ignorance over admitting the truth, "I'm not trying to lead you on, I have a girlfriend as you've just pointed out"
"you kissed me last night. I chalked it up to confusion from the anaesthetic but there's not that excuse now, I know that look all too well"
"I can't help how my body reacts to you Jack" Ianto murmured bitterly, "its that 51st century bullshit you go on about"
"No its not" Jack shook his head, "That's not how it works"
"It was all just hormones, wasn't it? We just had frustrations to release and happened to be in close quarters, so we snogged, nothing more than that. Friends with benefits at most."
"You don't really believe that do you?"
Ianto met his gaze defiantly, his resolve faltering as he saw the other man's face. Jack wanted him physically; it was coming off him in waves. But there was more in his eyes, a longing that made Ianto ache to tell him what he'd heard last night, to admit that hearing Jack talk of feelings, of love made him elated and terrified in equal measure, to tell him that those feelings weren't at all one-sided. But the physical pain and presence of Owen's industrial strength painkillers couldn't let him articulate that, and instead he resorted to babbling.
"Either way, you fry my brain! Whatever we were doing, getting so close and the same disappointment over and over again. Wanting you so badly never knowing what you wanted from me. Enough of my life is confusing and scary and so bloody amazing and mental and is it wrong to just want something…. Someone…. a bit, well, normal?"
"Look, Torchwood can't give you normal. It can't give you the long happy picket fence life that you could have with her. I can't give you that" Jack sighed sadly, "I would give you the world, Ianto. I would give you… everything I had to give. And that scares the hell out of me because I don't think it can be enough. So, you take this time off to think about what it is you want, professionally and personally. Let me know what you decide."
And with that he swept from the room, and seconds later Ianto heard the front door slam. He stared at the space where Jack had stood, processing. He had a choice to make, he'd known that for a while now. But to hear Jack so honest, so vulnerable, had him questioning everything he'd thought he'd known about the last year of his life. And, more importantly, it had him questioning how he was going to live the rest of it.