This chapter contains a lot of references.
(A few days after leaving Drum Kingdom)
("Uhhhh….You want to know about me?") DK asked in confusion as he sat cross-legged while he had Kiddy resting on his tights and Usopp in front of him with a notebook and pencil in hand.
"Yes! Is it not every day I get to talk to people, or in this case gorillas, from another world!" Usopp said, eagerness in his eyes. "I already got Mario's story, so I wonder if you could share some of yours. Also, we could help the others understand your language a bit."
Aside from Mario, Luffy, Chopper(obviously), and him(just barely), the others still have a hard time understanding his language.
DK hummed for a second before nodding. ("Sure. I don't see anything wrong with that.") He honestly doesn't see the bad in sharing stuff with new friends.
Besides, the kid was obviously excited and he has a soft spot for those who cheer for him.
"Excellent! So, let's start with basic stuff." Usopp suggested.
DK scratched the back of his head, ("Basic, huh…Well, not much to say…I was born in Kong Island and lived most of my life there.") DK began talking about his childhood. ("I spent most of my childhood playing with my friends and hoarding bananas. While trying to…please Grampa.") He grumbles at that last part.
"Eh?" Luffy dropped in, interested in what he heard. "You had problems with your grandpa too?"
("You too?")
"Yeah! The old bastard was brutal with me and Ace!" Luffy said with a grin. "He used to throw me in dark places to fight predators, fly with balloons to the sky, and even throw me in caves and leave me stranded for days!"
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…
…
"...His grandfather is a monster!" Usopp yelled, in horror, exactly what everyone was thinking as they stopped everything and stared at their captain.
("Interesting.") DK hummed, now understanding Luffy's way of fighting. ("Does that mean he is always hitting you for stupid things that make no sense?")
"Yeah! I always told him I wanted to be King of the Pirates and he would use his Fist of Love! Saying that's his way of showing love to his family!"
("Ah yes! That's how Cranky usually does with me and everyone.") DK nodded in understanding, having been victim to the old ape's cane smacking. ("Always saying that it's stupid to hoard my well-earned bananas in one place! I found them, so I have the right to place them where I want to!") He began to get angry.
"I know! And he always tries to force me to join the Marines! I didn't want to! I want to be free!"
("Yeah! I want to do what I want!")
"Yeah! Freedom!"
("FREEDOM!")
*Clasp!*
Luffy and DK clasp their hands together, their already connected bond has deepened.
"So cool~" Chopper, who was looking at it while prepping more medicine, said with stars in his eyes.
"What is so cool about two moronic minds thinking alike?" Nami sweat drops.
"Eh…m-moving on, how about you talk about how you met Mario?"
("By beating him to a bloody pulp!") DK eagerly replied with a grin.
"Ah yes. Nothing beats knowing each other more than a good beating!" Luffy agreed.
*Bonk!*Bonk!*
"That's NOT how you get to know people!" Nami had enough of their bullshit and hit their heads hard.
"Owwww!" Both of them scream in pain, their heads sporting bumps. "That hurt, Nami! Stop giving your Fist of Love!"
"Fist of-?! This isn't love!" Nami screamed at him. "What kind of moron told you that?!"
"My grampa!"
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…
…
"...How…long has…he done that to you?" Nami, feeling a feeling of dread, asked.
"Since little! He said that's how he makes men strong and shows his love for me!" Luffy dared to smile at it.
"...But…you had eaten your Devil Fruit by then, right?"
"Nope! He started even before I ate it! When I did, he amps it up!"
At that, Nami went to Mario, who was staring at Luffy in shock, grabbed him, and put him on a pedestal. She kneels before him…and claps her hands into a prayer. "God. I have a confession to make." Tears began to fall from her eyes as a spotlight lit on her. "I know that I'm greedy, selfish, and sometimes sadistic. But never, in my entire life, would I have wanted to traumatize a poor child into thinking that violence was parental love."
Mario, feeling awkward and trying to understand how a spotlight in the sky was making this, patted her shoulder. "It's-a…okay, Nami. It's-a not ya' fault."
"Thank you for your mercy and kindness!" the navigator sobbed, feeling genuine forgiveness.
"Nami-swan!~" Sanji was already in tears at what she was doing to Mario. "Why can't you speak to me?! I would had glady comfort you!"
"Because you're not a God, Sanji." Nami deadpan, making the blonde fall into despair and Zoro laughing at his misery.
"Why?! Why him?!"
("The scary woman is weird.") DK, caressing his bump, muttered.
"I know. One moment she's mad, the next, she is crying." Luffy agreed with him.
"Ehem!" Usopp coughs to bring back their attention. "L-Let's get back on track! How about you tell us about Diddy!"
("Me?") Kiddy perks up at the call of his name.
"Yeah. You said he's your best friend's girlfriend's little cousin?" Vivi asked DK from her chair.
("Yep!") DK picked the toddler up and raised him like Simba in Lion King. ("He's still a child but he has already proven himself to be a powerful warrior! I still remember the time he and Dixie journey through our lands to save me and Diddy from that stupid Kremmling.")
"Eh?! You got captured!? How?!" The majority of the crew asked.
("I don't want to talk about it.") DK growled at that. ("The only thing that matters is that Kiddy delivered most of the heavy lifting and helped her cousin save us!")
Zoro whistle, "Damn. I saw him fight back in Drum, but he's already capable of taking on bigger guys on his own?"
"Yeah! I mean, I fought animals bigger than me when I was 5!" Luffy commented with pride.
"That's not something to sound proud of!"
"Again! His Grandfather is a monster!" Nami shouted.
"Well, to be-a fair. Living in the mountains ain't-a…easy." Mario said.
"Shut it!"
"Moving on! You mentioned 'Kremlings'. They sound like a species of Crocodile." Usopp asked.
("Grrrr!") DK and Kiddy growled in union, surprising (and scaring Chopper) the crew. ("Just the most annoying, irritating and selfish Crocodiles that won't stay dead! Especially that stupid fat King!")
"Ah yes. King K. Rool." Mario nodded, having fought the Tyrant Kremmling before. "Nasty fellow. Powerful, but nasty."
"Oh yeah! You mentioned some dumb crocodile before!" Luffy said, remembering DK's talk back in Drum Kingdom. "Is he really that troublesome?"
"Oh boy!" Mario sighs in tiredness and DK crosses his arms and looks away. "You don't know half of it."
"Damn, if Mario himself sounds tired of it, then the guy must be strong." Sanji, finally recovering from his childish antics, said. "But what kind of name is Kremling? It's not any species I have ever heard of."
"As far as I know? They-are crocodiles with more-a human traits. Walk on two legs and have intelligence." Mario explained. "I haven't thought about that guy after the last Smash Tournament." He looked at DK. "DK, what is he doing now?"
Surprisingly, DK scratched his head. ("I don't know. Probably making another stupid island with a cannon to blow my home again.")
"Ah, makes sense."
"...You guys don't expect me to ignore that comment, right?" Usopp asked, his eyes already widened far enough as his left one twitched.
On the back, Sanji felt irritation in his forehead as the mention of the created island reminded him of his…'former' home, on how it is man-made.
"Awesome! He can build an Island?! That's so cool!" Chopper said in amazement…before flinching at seeing the gorilla's glare. "I-I mean, you are still cooler DK! Yeah, stupid crocodiles can't match your power so easily!"
That made DK grumble even more, an action mimicked by Diddy.
"Heh, yeah. I wouldn't-a be so sure." Mario commented, making everyone look at him in surprise at the insinuation. "K. Rool is a tough one. I still-a remember the beating I gave him…took them like-a champ."
"...Damn!"
"And DK's strength is no joke!" Starlow, who came down from her quick far gazing. "As you all know, the good ape here can punch people into the horizon! But that's not even close to his full strength."
"Of course it isn't." Vivi said, "He's Mario's rival. We can guess how strong he is."
Starlow suddenly looked at her. Just stare at her.
…
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…
"...I mean…surely we can guess?" Vivi felt an incoming dread.
"O'really?" Starlow looked amused at her. "Then feel free to."
The princess was now feeling dread.
"Oh! I want to guess!" Luffy eagerly raised his hand.
"Sure, go ahead."
"Stronger than Laboon?"
"More."
"Stronger than that Big Fish from Giants Island?"
"More."
"Stronger than a mountain?"
"More!"
"Stronger than my grandpa?"
"Mo-Actually, I can't say for certain but if I have to guess? More!"
Luffy was now getting frustrated with his options as he tried to guess while ignoring the look of horror of the crew as they slowly looked at DK who, with Kiddy, was eating bananas to ease his frustration.
"Ugh! I don't know!"
"You want an answer? Be careful, it might blow your mind!" Starlow said, Mario on the back rolling his eyes, knowing what was coming next.
"Yes!" Luffy eagerly shouted.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes!"
"Are you really sure?"
"Really sure!"
"Really~ Really~ Sure~?"
"YES!"
"But are you-"
"For God's sake! Just tell us already!" The majority of the crew yelled at her, their irritated voices sending the Star Sprite spiraling backward.
"Tch! Fine! Take the fun out of it." Starlow clicks her tongue, coughing a bit. "Alright, if you would please do what I do for a moment." She proceeds to look at the sky.
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…
…
"...Please look at the sky." She clarified, making the crew look up.
Blue sky and white clouds.
"...What are we looking for?" Nami asked, not understanding what she was looking for.
"Give it a moment." Starlow said.
…
…
…
"Any~second now…"
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…
"...! There it is!"
Slowly, from the sky came out the view the sprite was waiting for.
The Moon.
Slowly, the smartest members began to feel their jaws fall as their brains connected the dots at what Starlow was implicating.
"Bullshit…" Usopp's notebook fell from his hand.
"Bullshit…!" Sanji's cigarette fell from his mouth.
"Bullshit!" Nami and Vivi had dropped through the knees. Caure (who the author has not forgotten about) had already passed out.
"Holy shit!" Zoro simply stares at it.
"AWESOME!" The only ones who were amazed, and the last to figure it out, were Luffy and Chopper.
"More like insane!" Nami was yanking her hair, "This is insane! I thought I heard bullshit before when Mario said he owns a galaxy, but this?! To claim that this gorilla is strong as the moon?! That is impossible-"
"Eh?" Starlow looked at her in confusion. "What are you talking about? DK isn't as strong as a Moon."
"Huh?!" Everyone looked at her.
"Come on guys! Strong as a Moon? Laughable!" Starlow giggled.
"Eh~? He's not as strong as a Moon?" Luffy pouted.
"Of course not!" Starlow replied.
"O-Oh…S-So it was a joke?" Vivi asked, feeling a bit of relief. "I thought I would-
"He's strong enough to move the Moon out of orbit with a single punch!"
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…
("Hihihihihihihihi!") DK and Diddy chuckled as they watched everyone, except Mario and Luffy, turn white while staring at an 'innocent' smiling Starlow.
"...Okay. That's something we all didn't need to know." Zoro sat down and pulled out an expensive bottle of sake. "If you excuse me now, I'm going to drink myself drunk to forget this bullshit."
Sanji suddenly sat down next to him and did the impossible. "I will join you, Zoro."
Zoro proceeds to do the inconceivable. "Sure, Sanji. Here." He said as he offered an extra bottle to him.
"THAT'S SO COOL!" Luffy shouted, appearing in front of the ape and eagerly shaking his hands in excitement. "I WANT TO PUNCH A MOON TOO! TEACH ME!"
"Nope!" Nami tackles Luffy to the floor. "We are not letting you do that! We already have three monsters that can do that!" She yelled as she proceeded to tie Luffy up with his own limbs.
"What? Three?" Usopp dumbly asks, his brain already fried.
"Yeah! Those three are enough! I cannot handle more than that!"
"What are you talking about?" Starlow suddenly appeared.
"You! You get back on Mario's hat right now!" Nami was now looking at the sprite in horror and anger. "I don't need to know more that he can compete with natural planet puncher!"
"But Mario can't punch a Moon out of orbit."
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"...He can't?" Nami asked, the crew looking at the sprite.
"No~ Mario is amazing, but moving a Moon? Please, he can't do that."
"...You promise?"
"I promise you. He can't move the Moon. Mario would never do that. Can you imagine the orbit problem that would be?"
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…
After a long minute, several breaths were released in relief-
"He would destroy the Moon as an accidental side-effect!"
*THUD!*THUD!*
Usopp and Chopper couldn't handle the feat, and as they fell backward, their eyes dried up in tears of amazement.
Nami and Vivi had given up as they suddenly appeared before Mario and kneeled on the floor, wearing cult clothes. "Oh hail the mighty God. We are not worthy of your presence." They said in unison.
Sanji didn't even have the strength to yell at this as he drowned himself with the bottle.
Zoro looked at his bottle for a second, nodded, and threw it away as he pulled a barrel from nowhere. "Yep. I will need this. Bottoms up!"
"MMMPHMMMMP!" Luffy's mangled body bounced around in excitement, clearly wanting to say more, but couldn't because his mouth was knot tight.
Mario looked dead inside as he robotically cracked his neck in Starlow's direction, the sprite already snickering out of control. "Starlow?"
"Snrk...Yes?"
"You're-a dear friend to me…but right now?" Mario proceeds to pull his Ultra Hammer. "I'm-a going to smash you."
"You cannot deny the truth!~" Starlow yelled as she flew away, Mario running after her.
All this happened and DK was laughing at their display, especially Mario as he jumped and tried to hit Starlow.
("Hahahahahaha!") Even Kiddy was enjoying the show. ("They are funny, Uncle DK! I like them!")
("So do I, Kiddy. So do I.") DK agreed.
These new friends of his are a riot!
Suddenly, Luffy bounced to him, his mouth finally untangled. "Hey DK! I have another question!" DK hummed at him. "Why is your name 'Donkey'?"
"..."
"..."
"..."
In the mercy the author of the story has brought to them and with the power of typing, everyone stops (and wakes up) to process the question.
"Huh…" Mario, frozen in place with Starlow, hummed. "You-a know…I never thought about it." He looked at DK, "Why is your name Donkey? Wouldn't Monkey be a better name?"
("Uhhhhhhhhhhhh.') DK was left thinking for once…before shrugging. ("I don't know. Maybe Nintendo knows?')
"Huh…Hold on, let me get my phone out and check-"
AY! NO SEARCHING IN THE INTERNET! THERE'S NO WI-FI HERE!
"But isn't this an Omake?"
NO BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL EITHER! ONLY I GET TO DO THAT!
"What's Nintendo?"
NOPE! STOP IT! STOP IT!
"Why is there an imaginary voice speaking?"
IMAGINARY?! THAT'S IT! END THE OMAKE!