Xander started his car and considered what to do next, he could go back to Angel's place and crash for the night, but he was almost positive that Cordelia was going to try and apologize for her part in things that had happened years ago, which would be awkward as all hell and he'd rather they just leave it in the past. Of course if he didn't go back it'd leave a messy room for Angel to clean up which was sort of rude, but he doubted the angsty avenger would complain about it.
Xander considered the matter for a moment before realizing he was being stupid and pulled out his cellphone. "Hey Angel, it's Xander."
"Hi Xander, did you need anything?" Angel asked, having been a bit bored as it was a quiet night and he'd already packed everything he'd needed for a trip to Jump City.
"No, I just wanted to give you a head's up that I'm leaving and apologize for not cleaning my room before I left, but I really want to skedaddle before Cordelia returns and we have an awkward scene where she tries to apologize for things she saw on the tape," Xander explained.
"You know she's going to know that's why you left and call you an overgrown manchild or something similar, right?" Angel asked, a trace of amusement leaking into his voice.
"And she'd be right to do so," Xander agreed with a grin, "and after she's stopped bitching about me tell her I accept her apology, but I think it was the Mayor's fault and since we got to blow him up, I'm good."
Angel covered his laugh with a cough. "I'll be sure to do that," he promised. "I'd say stay safe, but…"
"But I'm me," Xander agreed. "Sorry about the messy room, I hate being an ungrateful house guest and I'll see you when I next pass by."
"I understand, bye Xander."
"Bye Angel," Xander said and hung up. "Darn it, if he keeps this up I'm going to start to like him," he complained as he started the car.
It didn't take long before he was back on the interstate and heading east while singing along with the radio, determined to make it out of California before he stopped.
One Hour Later
"Mojave desert," Xander noted. "Yeah, I'm not hitting that without a full tank of gas."
He pulled into a truck stop and hopped out of the car, glad to get a chance to stretch his legs and pee while he filled up. He popped the gas cap off and locked the nozzle on before going inside, making a note of the number of the pump he was at.
It only took a few minutes to grab a bunch more junkfood and a bunch of sodas and a bag of ice, the teen behind the counter barely paying attention as he rung him up, before he was back on the road again.
"Glad I'm doing this at night," he said to himself as the desert loomed in front of him, taking up the entire horizon.
It was still several hours until morning when his headlights swept across what would be considered a stereotypical Cali girl in a red bikini top and very short Levi cutoffs with her thumb out.
Xander slowed to a stop. "Need a ride?" he asked.
"Boy do I," she said, tossing her backpack in the backseat and climbing into the passenger seat, "I thought I could just hike across it at night and avoid the heat, ya know?"
"Same here," he agreed.
"Yeah, but I kinda underestimated how big it was," she admitted. "By the way, I'm Sally."
"Xander," he replied. "Just to check, you aren't secretly some alien, ghost, or demon looking to kill me, right?"
Sally giggled, her long blonde hair flowing in the wind. "Seriously?"
"It's been known to happen," Xander replied.
"Nope, just a Cali girl who wanted to be able to say she crossed the Mojave Desert on foot," Sally told him.
"Glad to hear it," Xander said, just before his headlights lit up a blonde with a white bikini top and Levi shorts with her thumb out.
He pulled over and she ran to the car.
"Thank god you stopped, I thought I could cross the desert on foot, but I never realized how big it was!" she said before hopping in the back. "Why do you have a war hammer and shield back here? Are you one of those role playing guys? Oops, almost forgot, I'm Sandy."
"Hey Sandy, I'm Xander and this is Sally, she had the same idea you did and ran into the same problem," he said as he pulled back onto the road. "I do in fact role play."
"Wish I'd known someone else was trying to walk the desert too," Sally said, "I mean don't get me wrong, it's scenic as fuck, but I was really getting bored and didn't want to drain my phone playing music."
"Same here," Sandy said. "Your phone is your lifeline in this kind of situation."
"I know, right?" Sally agreed.
Xander's headlights caught another blonde with her thumb out in a bikini top and shorts and pulled over.
"Susan?" Sally asked, surprised. "You bitch, you didn't tell me you were going to try and walk the Mojave!"
"You didn't tell me you were either," Susan pointed out as she climbed in the back.
"Oh yeah," Sally said. "Shame, we could have done it together."
"That would have been so much better," Susan said, "I was so bored with no one to talk to."
"Hey Susan, I'm Sandy," she introduced herself. "I had the same idea, cross at night so I don't bake only to find out it was so much bigger than I thought."
"And quiet," Xander agreed, pulling back onto the road.
"That too," the girls chorused and laughed.
Another five miles had gone by before Xander spotted yet another blonde in a bikini top with Levi shorts, hitchhiking.
"Hi!" the girl said brightly, "I'm so glad you stopped, my feet were starting to hurt and there is no way I could make it out before the sun rose and literally fried me."
"Not a problem, we have room," Xander told her. "This is Sandy, Sally, Susan, and I'm Xander."
"Cool name, I'm Sharon," she introduced herself as she got in the back seat. "Oh man is it good to get off my feet. I've been walking for hours and it's so boring!"
"I know!" the girls chorused and laughed as Xander pulled back onto the road yet again.
An hour later, and five more blondes in bikini tops with Levi shorts later…
"Okay, I'm just going to say it," Sarah said, "this is weird. This is weird, right?"
"The same clothes, the decision to hike the Mojave, or everyone having names that start with S?" Xander asked.
"The last one," Sabrina said, "bikini tops and cut off shorts are in this season."
"Okay, that makes this a lot less strange," Xander said.
"What about us all being blonde?" Sheila asked.
"No comment," Xander replied, recognizing the obvious signs of bleached hair, causing a bunch of giggling.
"Also in style, but then blonde always is," Susan said smugly.
"Just a weird coincidence then," Sharon said.
"Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, and we're rolling nine deep here," Xander pointed out.
"But there's only eight of us," Sally said, before the car slowed down and pulled over.
"Thank you!" a blonde girl squealed as she ran up to the car. "I've been walking forever! Um… is there actually room for me in there?"
"You can sit on a lap if you need to," Sandy said. "Does your name begin with an S?"
"My name is Maria, but I go by my middle name, Sylvia," she said. "Is that important?"
"Except for Xander we all have first names beginning with S," Sheila explained.
"He's been picking us up every couple of miles," Sandy added.
"Whoa, trippy," Sylvia said as she joined the pile of blondes in the backseat.
"When I got in you checked to make sure I wasn't a monster or alien or something," Sally said. "Have you actually run into that?"
"My dating history has a lot of people asking how I'm still alive," Xander admitted.
"The shield and war hammer are real!" Sandy realized. "You're a superhero!"
The girls all turned to examine him as he drove.
"I don't have a costume… yet," Xander said, "though I am considering getting something that at least covers my face."
"Your face… You're the guy that was seen with Wonder Woman!" Sheila squealed, setting off all the other girls. "I thought you looked familiar!"
"Definitely getting a mask," Xander decided.
"Are you really dating Wonder Woman?" Sally asked excitedly.
"We're friends," Xander said, "she won't date anyone seriously she hasn't known for at least a decade."
"Oh yeah, she's like a lot older than she looks so that makes sense," Sarah said.
"What kind of mask are you thinking?" Sylvia asked. "Because a lot of heroes have these little tiny ones that make me wonder how they keep their identities a secret."
"Dread pirate Roberts," Xander said. "Keeps the hair out of the way and just looks like a handkerchief when tucked in a pocket."
"And costume?" several girls asked.
"Meh," Xander said. "I hunt monsters not humans."
"Monsters?!" came the mass exclamation.
"Vampires mainly," Xander replied. "My hometown had a huge problem with them until recently."
"I'd say you were crazy, but…" Sandy shrugged.
"Yeah, this is all pretty strange," Sally agreed, getting a number of agreements.
"Hey, we haven't picked up anyone new," Sharon noted. "Did we miss someone?"
"No, I think we ran out of room," Xander said. "There's only a couple of miles of desert left."
"Spoke too soon," Sheila said, pointing to a girl with a yellow bikini top ahead of them, just visible with the slowly lightening horizon.
"Last one then," Xander said with relief, slowing down. "You need a ride?" he asked.
The girl looked over, blinked and wiped her eyes, looking really wrung out. "Sorority?" she guessed.
"No, we just all decided to walk the Mojave in the dark when it was cooler, not realizing how far it was," Susan replied, "and Xander picked us up."
"Oh," she said. "Well, I started just after noon yesterday and I've almost made it. I don't want to give up now when it's so close."
Sandy got out. "I'll walk with you to make sure you make it."
"Yeah, I'll help," Sheila said, having to climb over several girls to get out." What's your name?"
"Sindy, with an S," she said as all the girls climbed out of the car.
"I'll wait at the rest stop for a couple hours to make sure you all make it," Xander volunteered. "Someone grab Sindy a sports drink from the ice chest."
Sally rummaged in the ice chest and got out a Gatorade which Sindy quickly downed.
"Thanks, I ran out of water like an hour or three ago," she said and started walking again, tired but determined.
Xander just shook his head and continued on to the rest and visitor's center which wouldn't be open for a couple of hours and parked in the empty lot.
Fortunately the public bathrooms were unlocked so he could pee and splash some cold water on his face. It felt good to stretch his legs and watch the sun rise.
He leaned against a sign, some historic note or something that it was still too dark to read and watched the desert, waiting for the girls to appear.
"Hey man," someone said from behind.
Xander turned around and found an older man in shorts and khakis. "Yeah?"
"I just opened this place up and noticed you watching the desert. You looking for something?"
"Just waiting for some girls," he replied.
"Cute," the guy said with a chuckle and went inside the visitor's center.
After a little while Xander got bored and looked at the sign and then did a double take.
The legend of the Vanishing Hitchhiker…
He was unsurprised when he returned to the car to find a number of bikini tops. "I thought it was supposed to be a white sweater, but I guess she got bored just doing the same thing all the time."
He started the car and pulled back onto the road.
*ring*ring*
"Hey Diana," he said with a smile. "Sure, pop on down, I'm just heading for Vegas now."
There was a flash of light and Diana appeared in the passenger seat with a smile before frowning and shifting to pull a couple of bikini tops out from under her. She tossed them in the back seat, noticing a number of them scattered about. "Is there an American celebration like Mardi Gras I'm not aware of?"
"No, ran into a bunch of ghosts… or maybe one ghost with a sense of humor," he replied.
"Give me the story," she said with a grin.
Xander grinned back at her. "Okay, so I decided I was going to make it out of California last night and headed directly east on the interstate."
Diana nodded, knowing he'd wanted to see all the states of the US and kept getting interrupted.
"So while driving across the Mojave desert I ran into a blonde girl wearing a bikini top named Sally who was hitchhiking…"
Typing By: Abyssal Angel
Beta By: Abyssal Angel and Mist of Shadows
Alestar's Omake
"Just because someone has the potential to be dangerous doesn't mean they will be," Xander pointed out.
"You're still putting yourself at risk!" Chloe complained.
"That's... Kind of hypocritical coming from you, isn't it?"
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"Well, I mean you are here hanging out with The Devil too. And, he seems to be a perfectly nice guy."
Lucifer preens, puffing himself up like a peacock.
"He's not really the Devil. It's just a metaphor!" Chloe waved it off.
"...Uh, no. He really is The Devil. He just happens to be a nice guy and amazing on the piano at the same time."
"Dear Alexander, I tell her that all the time! She just refuses to believe me even knowing that I am a Devil of my word," Lucifer complained.
"You should check if the Mayor of L.A. is a sorcerer trying to become an Old One. We had one of those back in Sunnydale, and he used to keep people from noticing the obvious truth. Amongst other things he did to randomly fuck with us."
"No, I've met the mayor at a gala before. If anyone would be able to tell something like that it would definitely be me."
"Wait... Lucifer... You're really him? You're really the Devil?" Chloe asked slowly.
"By Dad! She finally gets it. Alexander, I have no idea how you did it, but I owe you a favor for this." He smiled broadly.
"Nah, don't worry about it."
"You would turn down a favor from the Devil?"
"Friends don't need favors to help friends out. We're cool."
Lucifer's face lit up with a truly devilish grin and wide eyes that seem to shine with an inner light. Meanwhile, The Detective is still standing there in a mild stupor, and Maze lets out a long suffering combination of growl and groan.
"This place gets sappier and sappier by the day, damn it." Maze grumbled.
AN: Merry Christmas everyone!