Diana giggled. "Only you would run into a powerful and mischievous spirit and end up with nearly a dozen bikini tops. Do the dead and otherworldly often give you intimate items of apparel?" she teased.
Xander opened his mouth, paused, and looked thoughtful.
"Really?" Diana asked, curious about what new story he'd have relating to this.
"Well… Drusilla the Mad Seeress, the one who sent me a copy of Spike torturing me included a pair of her panties," he offered. "Not sure what Ampata gave me counts, but she gave me a thin strip of material which made her blush and she seemed to think was important."
"A vampire and a mummy, correct?" she asked.
He nodded, keeping his eyes on the road. "Yeah. I also have a pair of Anyanka's panties, but I think she just forgot them. It was the morning after Prom and she wanted to get away before the Mayor's ascension."
"Women don't just forget undergarments," Diana told him, amused.
"Oh," Xander said. "In that case, yes it seems that dead and otherworldly women like to give me their undergarments."
Diana burst out laughing. "We really should check you for curses because you are definitely living in interesting times."
"Which is a big step up from boring times," Xander said. "I'd make some comment about odds and the likelihood of it happening again, but I'm not one to tempt Murphy."
"Probably a wise decision," Diana said. "Where are you headed next?"
"Las Vegas," Xander said. "I plan on grabbing a hotel room and getting some sleep, since I haven't been to bed yet, and then seeing how my luck at gambling is. Maybe take in some shows, since they are a thing."
"Zatanna performs there regularly and she's quite good," Diana said. "I can get us tickets."
"And I need a mask," Xander said. "Apparently paparazzi follow you around and got a shot of us on the walk of fame."
"The downside of being well known," Diana said.
"It can't all be guns and roses," Xander told her.
"Isn't that supposed to be wine and roses?"
"Not a big wine drinker, I like my grape juice fresh," Xander said.
"And the guns?"
"I'm an American, we like our guns," Xander said. "There is an old saying, 'God made man. Sam Colt made them equal.'"
"I didn't take you for a gun guy," Diana admitted.
"Just for home defense, they're too loud for most of what I do," he replied. "Plus I have sensitive ears."
"Very few league members use guns, preferring more silent weapons as well," she noted.
"Also it's really hard to use them non-lethally I'm betting," Xander said.
"You seem to prefer lethal options, which considering what you choose to hunt makes perfect sense," Diana said.
"And most of them are a bit bullet resistant," Xander noted. "It'd be nice to be able to just pull a trigger and remove a threat, but my targets require me to get up close and personal."
"And occasionally send you their underwear," Diana teased.
"And occasionally send me their underwear and video tapes," Xander corrected.
"I suppose for a vampire a tape of you getting tortured would be seen as romantic," Diana guessed. "Was watching it disturbing?"
Xander yawned. "Excuse me, getting a bit tired. No, it was interesting and filled in some holes in my memories, but not disturbing. Hell, some points are actually amusing. I will admit the very end was horrifying, but that's because Spike mooned the camera."
Diana snickered.
"Dru sent me two video tapes along with her panties and I'm assuming they are of me being tortured in higher quality, because they are Betamax tapes, but since I don't have a Betamax player I can't say. We watched a VHS copy that she sent to Angel."
"You can probably get the concierge at one of the more expensive hotels to get one for you," Diana suggested, "they pride themselves on being able to get anything their guests require."
"Good idea," Xander said, "though I'm probably going to have to hold off on that until I reach Vegas as the first motel I spot on the way is getting my business. I'll probably reach Vegas tonight, but first I need some sleep."
"Want me to see if Zatanna has some tickets available for tonight's show?"
"Yeah," Xander agreed. "Sounds like fun."
"Oh it is," Diana said with a smile, "she forgoes magic and uses sleight of hand and a lot of tricks that she won't share no matter how much I badger her."
"Is part of the fun badgering her for secrets she won't reveal after the show?" Xander guessed.
"Not just that, but yes it's a lot of fun," she agreed.
"Motel," Xander said, taking a turn off. "Sleep, here I come."
"Sleep well and call when you get there," she said, leaning over to give him a kiss. "Bye."
Xander closed his eyes for a moment, opening them after she'd teleported out. Traffic was light and he briefly considered eating before deciding to go straight for bed, he could grab a burger later.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"You have the tape?" The Question asked.
"Jesus!" John Constantine said, jumping back. "Don't do that!"
"Sorry," The Question said, not sounding all that concerned, his face completely unreadable as he lacked one.
"Yeah, I got the bloody tape," John said. "What do you expect to find?"
"I don't," The Question replied.
"Don't what?" the English mage asked irritably.
"I don't expect to find out anything, which means what I do discover won't be tainted by expectations," The Question explained.
John rolled his eyes. "Well let's pop the tape in the old VCR and see what's what."
"Indeed," The Question agreed and followed him into one of the Watchtower's conference rooms.
It only took John a minute to get things queued up and playing.
"Kid can't fight worth shit," John said. "I suppose he's improved since then."
"He has according to all the reports I've read," The Question agreed. "Could he truly rise as a Revenant?"
"Maybe. Important bit is he believes it and the vamp believes him," John said.
"Their behavior isn't natural, not even for horny teens," The Question said, "their body language shifts too quickly."
"Yeah, something's fuckin' with their heads," John agreed. "And there's the arrival of our new members."
"And he was left behind in the confusion," The Question noted.
"He's leaking a bit too much to survive without competent medical help," John said with a frown.
"Or vampire blood," The Question added as they watched Xander rip out the throats of several vampires and drain them to dust.
"That's one way to avoid being controlled," John said.
"Rewind it," The Question said, "something about the way he moved looks familiar."
"He moved like a cornered wolf," John said as he rewound it.
"Not quite," The Question said as they watched the fight a second time. "He moved like Vixen."
"Vixen?" John asked, confused. "I ain't seeing it."
"That's because you pay more attention to her curves than her fighting style."
"Full moon I see," John said as Spike mooned the camera. "I've seen better."
"As have I," The Question agreed. "I believe Alexander was tapping into The Red."
"That would explain some things," John said. "Curiosity satisfied?"
"No," The Question replied, "but then it seldom is, there are always further questions to ask, but I believe Vixen is who I should ask them of. You?"
"Yeah, he's not who I'm looking for," the mage said, "but at least I can definitely cross him off the list now."
"Need the tape?" The Question asked.
"Nah, I'm through with it," John said. "Do what you like with it."
"I'll enter it into the files," The Question said, "properly indexed and cross-linked of course."
"Of course," John said, rolling his eyes.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
*ring*ring*
Xander felt around for his phone and finally managed to grab it on the third try. "Hello?"
"Xander?" Willow asked hopefully.
"The one and only," he said before yawning. "Sorry, late night, early morning sort of thing."
"I got your number from Giles," Willow said excitedly. "How's your trip been so far?"
"Pretty good," he replied as he wiped gunk from the corner of his eyes, "been meeting people and seeing the sights, barring a short trip back to Sunnydale to meet Dawn, remind Giles of some things, and buy a place of my own."
"You bought your own place?" Willow asked in disbelief.
"Yeah, got a big discount as it was occupied in the Sunnydale way. Which reminds me, did Giles ask you to look into Ted's background and was he dating wild grannies?"
"Wild grannies?" Willow repeated and then burst out laughing, which took her a little while to stop. "Yeah, they were much older women, many suffered accidents doing wild things and he wasn't in their wills so it looks like he didn't kill them, intentionally anyway."
"Good, he runs the yard work service that takes care of my place so I wanted to make sure he was on the level."
"How did things go with Dawn?" Willow asked. "Was she heartbroken? She wasn't heartbroken was she?" the red haired girl worried.
"Initially upset, but a couple of days of getting to know one another and a date fixed that."
"Date? She's like, way younger than you!" Willow exclaimed.
"She's turning fifteen soon which puts her just under the half plus seven mark," Xander said, rolling his eyes, "not that anyone in our group has the right to talk about age differences."
"I… Have I dated someone much older or younger than me?" Willow asked, confused.
"Well Malcolm was a demon centuries old, but I was referring to you encouraging Buffy to date Angel when she was fifteen," Xander replied.
"Angel! Buffy called me and told me he got his soul welded in place!" Willow said excitedly. "No more problems with him turning into Angelus!"
"How much coffee have you drunk?" he asked suspiciously.
"Just a couple of cups," Willow defended herself.
"Half a pot," Oz offered, being close enough to listen to the call.
"Oz!" Willow exclaimed.
"Willow, you know better than to drink that much coffee, you get hyper and jump from topic to topic without thinking about it," Xander reminded her.
"Topic!" Willow exclaimed as a thought hit her. "Are we allowed to tell the heroes about you? We've tried to keep quiet, but you were like in on everything we did!"
Well versed in Willow babble, Xander easily figured out what she meant. "I'm sure the League already knows about me, it's fine," he assured her.
"Oh I'm so grateful to hear that. Ack, I gotta pee!" Willow yelped.
"Hey," Oz said, grabbing the phone as Willow ran off.
"Couldn't keep her away from the coffee?" Xander asked.
"I thought it was decaf," Oz replied. "Turns out the green marking meant it was environmentally sourced."
"Ouch," Xander said.
"Yeah," Oz agreed. "How's the trip been?"
"Eventful," Xander replied. "Some vamps, some frat boys, a ghost from an urban legend, but all good. You?"
"Lot of training, bit a werewolf, now I'm a different type of werewolf," Oz replied laconically.
"It happens," Xander said. "Does that mean if Willow bites you she'll become one?"
There was silence for a few seconds. "I've gotta go check on something," Oz said.
"Alright, talk at you later," Xander said, "bye."
"Bye."
Xander checked the time, saw it was late afternoon, and decided that was enough sleep to start his day. A quick shower and a change of clothes had him checked out and on his way in under an hour.
The sun was just beginning to go down when he reached the Vegas strip, making a face at a circus themed casino and deciding to head for the Mirage, as it looked a little familiar.
"I'll take two hundred in chips," he said, deciding to limit himself so he didn't get too deep into gambling. He didn't think he was one of those guys who would become addicted to gambling and lose everything, but much like with alcohol he'd play it safe.
Looking around the main floor with a nice stack of chips in his hands he decided to try roulette.
"Twenty on red," he decided.
"Twenty four black," the croupier called out and collected all the chips.
"Ten on black," he bet.
"Twenty one red!"
"Ten on black."
"Twenty seven red!"
"Ten on odd," Xander tried.
"Twenty black!"
"Ten on red," Xander said, determined to win at least one spin.
"Ten black!"
"Seriously?" Xander asked in disbelief as gamblers around him laughed.
"Ten on black."
"Three red!"
"Ten on black again!"
"Thirty four red!"
"Ten on black a third time," Xander said firmly, most of the gamblers shifting their bets to red.
"Twenty one red!" the croupier called out to cheers.
"Ten on black," Xander said.
"One red." Once again the gamblers cheered and cleaned up.
"Fine, I'll put ten on red," Xander said and narrowed his eyes, "and ten on black."
"Green double zero!"
"You've got to be kidding me," Xander said in disbelief, as a handful of gamblers cheered their win, having bet on it.
"I'm afraid I'm going to have to ban you from gambling," a neatly dressed Italian man told Xander.
"I'm not cheating," Xander defended himself.
"I know, but your luck is so bad it's making everyone else win."
Xander sighed. "Alright, that's completely fair."
"Thank you," the floor manager said. "I'll comp you a suite so you can take in the shows, how's that?"
"That actually sounds great," Xander said, perking up. "Any chance I can get a Betamax VCR and a Dread Pirate Roberts' mask?" he asked.
"But of course, this is Vegas," the man said with a smile.
Typing By: Abyssal Angel
Beta By: Abyssal Angel and Mist of Shadows
Another Alestar Omake
In honor of WildMartian...
Xander gasps out in shock having been fairly sure that the last hit he took would be -the- last hit, despite feeling a warm and comforting aura encompassing him.
"What, who, how, when!?"
Lucifer remains there with a grin and an arm thrown around Xander's shoulders throughout this and replies, "Well, Alexander, as it turns out... I simply do not have enough real friends to let you run off and get yourself killed. So I made you immortal. That being said, do you want to focus on that or on that grey skinned monstrosity that is trying to kill your 'not girlfriend' now?"
Xander looks on at Darkseid holding Diana up by her throat and...
A roar followed by the sound barrier breaking echoed through the night. Diana ends up at the feet of Lucifer and Maze as Darkseid's body starts to progressively look like something that went through a blender.
"Oh my... Who knew he had so much rage in his system? That Darkside... Seed? Whatever, he obviously didn't know. But, where did he get those hell forged blades I wonder?"
Maze starts cursing up a storm eventually landing on, "How the fuck did he pocket both my daggers without my knowing!?"
"We all have our talents, my dear Maze."