June 19, 2016
A/N:
Hello! :D I am ecstatic that you are here!
Thank you for reading this story!
To the previous reviewers: JourneyRocks13, Jedi Master Misty Sman-Esay, Maydral Skirata, Guest R2, froovygirl, angie, drizzle of rain (sorry, Doc Manager does NOT like your name with periods in it! :P), psmoma, Guest, Guest, Alexa Skywalker, LoveFromLiberty, prankprincess123, Ravan3363, Maren Skywalker –The Forgotten, Asj Johnson, Spencerlarsen, Maja, Silimaria, Jadaerys, and mbg9!Thank you so much for your reviews! I know it's been awhile, but they really did a lot for getting this chapter up! :D
To favoriters an subscribers, THANK YOU! You guys helped out a lot, too! :D
I know it really has been a while, but my mind finally found all the little pieces of this story, and formed a way to fit them together. When Dreams Clash With Realities will be (if all goes smoothly) quickly-ish finished! :D Thank you so much for all your support over the years, truly from the bottom of my heart, thank you! *heart*
Without further ado, here is Chapter 20: Separation (Part 2). Go ahead and sit back and relax. I hope you enjoy! :D
Separation (Part 2)
Sound traveled through the air. Slowly, ever so slowly, Padmé realized the steady pattern was familiar.
A communicator—her communicator.
At first, she did not want to get it. No motivation, in general and in this moment.
Then she remembered her far off husband promised he would call. Anakin always kept his promises.
She picked up the blinking device. After some hesitation, her elegant finger turned it on. A rehearsed false smile smothered her face. As a Senator and former Queen, she quickly learned the required tricks to fabricate ever convincing masks of various emotions. Skywalker dubbed them "Senator Faces".
Why did hiding things from him have to be so hard? Even though he had a knack for picking up on her lies, she still tried.
With lips plastered in form from hallow muscle memory, her hologram was scanned and copied to the other side of the galaxy. Her husband's figure made the same journey, and soon projected life-sized in front of her.
Force, did seeing him lift her low spirits.
Anakin greeted her with a smile and was about to say something when he frowned. That's when she knew he knew, "What's wrong?"
She continued the act. "What do you mean?"
He crossed his arms and his image flickered. A sigh blew from his nostrils. He knew her performance very well.
In the Senate, of course, she owned the stage no matter what mask she wore. No one knew; no one. But he knew, and he would always know.
Years of marriage, however scattered, allowed him many moments of study. Though, he was positive, no amount of study could truly help him. Still, he had some fair amount.
With the knowledge painfully gathered, he knew something was wrong.
She was lying to him in face. Falsifying herself through muscle patterns and hard-practiced motions. Fortifying her true feelings—her true self, from him.
Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker loved the true Former Queen and Senator Padmé Amidala Naberrie. Not seeing her made him ache in some explainable way.
The ache was almost as if only seeing a painting of her, instead of actually being with her.
Sure, the painting may have familiar traits, but it is never completely accurate. He knows it is only a painting and can never be convinced otherwise.
The flat, never changing canvas could not substitute or satisfy. And trying to be convinced the image is in fact her, and should in fact be completely filling would drive him to ache and madden.
So, he shall wait her out, if to no avail he will work it out of her. One way or another he will see her true self: her perfect masterpiece true self.
"Ani…" her melancholy and emptiness packed her voice. Her veil like fort lifted, if only for an instant.
He saw something he had never seen in her, and it distressed him further.
His arms uncontrollably uncoiled and he stepped towards her image, "Padmé, Angel…" he reached for her, probably forgetting she was but an image at this moment.
There was a pause, "Let's not talk about this… I'm just… I'm alright, just…."
"No, you're not. Something's wrong. Is everyone alright? Has something happened?" he tensed, instantly wishing he was not on the other side of the galaxy.
One word and he would be back on his way to her side breaking all laws of physics. One word from her was all he needed. Not even a word—just a singular sign, and he would be there.
She shook her head, "No! No, nothing like that… here." She turned the holo-recorder towards the cradles moving the spotlight off of her. "See? They're fine. They have been asleep for a while now. They are rather fussy, though…"
Silence…
"Mom and Sola are working in the yard, and Dad is making his famous stew."
More silence.
Though he missed his family, he was not distracted. He used their force bond to connect to her, though tens of thousands of light-years away. She was—off. More than just down, chemically off. Her light and wavelengths were so very tilted on a biological scale.
He wondered if it had anything to do with the twin's birth.
His memory ran through all he had read during his time on Coruscant on the Jedi Archives. With his nightmares, he had frantically read up on human gestation and birth in a frantic attempt to understand.
Why did he not read more on postpartum? He must have never thought it necessary; that Padmé and the baby would never reach the stage.
He made so many foolish, blinding assumptions.
He did study a general overview, however. He remembered some kinds of hormone imbalance after pregnancy.
What was they called…?
His mind searched harder—he had perfect memory, after all.
There! He mentally saw the Archive's holo-page!
"A brief overview of Human Postpartum Depression:
Postpartum Depression is considered very common.
Following the birth of infant(s) symptoms may develop, usually within the first year. Symptoms might include: insomnia, loss of appetite, lack of motivation, inability to feel pleasure, mood swings, crying, paranoia and intense irritability.
Postpartum depression is completely treatable by a professional and temporary.
However, untreated, the condition may last months or longer. Treatment can include counseling, antidepressants, or hormone therapy.
Also see: Postpartum Anxiety & Postpartum Psychosis"
A millisecond later, his attention was back to the present. "Padmé?" he gently called, wanting the holo's angle to be back on her.
She reluctantly turned it back.
He studied her holo-image, though poor quality, he noticed her eyes were swollen, baggy and shadowed. Crying… lack of sleep… ? "Have you been crying?"
She was surprised by this and her mask shattered, if only for another second. That was all the answer he needed.
"Have you had a hard time sleeping?" he continued.
Again, she did not answer. No answer was an answer.
"Angel, you should go in for a check-up," he could see she was less than enthusiastic. She never was a fan, especially if it was a medical droid instead of an actual being. "Just to see if everything is alright physically."
"Ani, you don't need to worry about me, I'll be fine."
"I do need to worry about you; you do not worry enough about yourself."
Padmé wanted desperately to change the subject, "You're worrying about nothing. Just adjusting to motherhood. How's Sylvantar?"
He was not distracted or fooled. Proactive decisions must be made. "Promise me you will go in for a check-up."
Silence.
She knew he would not let go of this, not if it concerned her well-being. Honestly, why was it such a big deal? Both her mother and sister suggested going in for a check-up.
If he wanted this ground, he could have it.
She probably should not be so touchy about it, besides. Still, she did not want him to keep bringing it up. "If I agree, will you stop bringing it up in our already short conversation?"
Ah, she was negotiating… very good. "Yes, in theory, or course." He half-bantered.
More silence, "Deal."
A bright, half-contained, crooked grin lit up his face. Victory. "How's everything?"
"Oh, you know, the usual…" a sudden rush of sadness disbursed through him through their force-bond, "I miss you…" she said quietly with an audible tremble.
Usually she was not so forthcoming with her emotions.
She felt foolish for such transparency. He should be focused on his mission, not worry about her feelings.
"I miss you too, Angel," he replied with full earnest.
"I'm sorry; I don't know where that came from," she tried to brush off.
"You know I prefer your honesty, no matter the consequences." He tried to make her laugh, instead she, despite her best efforts, let out a sob. "Padmé?" He approached her holo, then he realized all he had to offer her was inability.
Inability to hold her and comfort her. He could only offer her words, empty, unsupported words. He used actions rather than words, never words without actions. He watched, helplessly, as she sobbed again.
"I'm sorry Ani…" she fit in through her overwhelming sense of, among other less than desirable sensations, loneliness. "I feel so lonely without you… I have my family… but ever since you left… I just don't feel… right. I feel unbalanced…" She sat on the bed, hand under her wet nose, her crying was now completely unable to be controlled. "I miss you so much… It's like a hole is ripped out of me every time you leave, which nothing can fill. I have tried everything over the years... Nothing! And now, it's worse! I feel so numb… and cold!" Her other hand gripped the edge of the bed. "I'm a new mother! I should be handling this better!" then she completely broke down.
He did not know his heart could ache this much. He felt her every frustration, every confusion, every emotional burden. "Padmé, you're a wonderful mother. Everything will be alright; it's just hormones, Angel. None of this is permanent. Your doctor will help you with this, I'll come back, and everything will be fine. You're not failing anyone feeling this way. You're not alone, your family's there and I'm right here… I might be… here, but I am right there with you Angel, right there."
She could not believe this was happening, but she had no way to contain this 'mess'. "I'm so sorry…"
"Don't be, Padmé, this is not your fault. Do you understand? Not. Your. Fault." His holo stood by her as she continued to cry out.
After however long of his sturdy comforts they spoke for a little while; some lighthearted, pointless topics just to lighten the atmosphere.
They said their farewells and he was left alone in his dark Stone Temple quarters; R2-D2 sleeping and charging in the corner.
He sat there in misery until Obi-Wan entered.
His icey-blue eyes 'greeted' him. "Yes? Does the Council have some pointless task for me?" he bitterly bit.
Kenobi was taken aback, "Is everything alright?"
Skywalker stood up, "No, it's not. Everything is wrong, Obi-Wan. Everything." Then he began pacing.
Kenobi's eyes followed the young man's frantic pacing, "What's happened?"
"I shouldn't be here! This is all so ridiculous! Why in the name of the force am I hear!"
Obi-Wan needed a direct answer, "Anakin! What. Happened."
"Padmé, something's wrong… It's probably a hormone imbalance causing strong depression symptoms. She needs me there, but I am as far away as possible, thanks to the glorious Jedi!"
Kenobi deflated with relief due to nothing truly awful had happened, just emotions.
"I can't take this anymore! Years of this, Obi-Wan, years! Now, when she needs me the most…" He stomped towards him, "You know, Palpatine did not go after the Jedi, he went after my daughter—my family. If he had wanted to go after the Jedi, he would have. But instead, he goes after Leia and the Jedi think they are the focal point… I mean, what is going on!? Why haven't they thought of that!? His priority target is left guarded by a padawan while we are in the safest place in the galaxy!" He begins to storm towards the door, "You know what? I am sick of this! I'm done!"
Fearing he knew what Anakin was doing, Kenobi went to block him. "Wait a minute, Anakin. Think this through. Now is not the time to do this."
Anakin pushed his outreached hand away, "You're right, the right time was years ago." He said with uncomfortable calmness.
Skywalker then began to unload years of poisoned words, "I have saved more lives and completed more missions than any other Jedi we know of. I have out trained, and out studied every Jedi at the Temple." His eyes became a sober blue, "I have seen more than enough deaths for a lifetime and heard enough lies. I have been forced to stand by and watch entire cultures, races and families die while the Jedi did nothing." Now his eyes burned with pain and anger, "I watched as they charged Ahsoka with a crime she did not commit." Tears now burned his eyes with a level of pain held in them that Kenobi had never seen, "I was not allowed to free my mother, nor taken seriously when I saw her death and suffrage every night for months! I couldn't save her! I was forbidden to! This high and mighty Jedi Council has the same amount of blood on their hands as the Sith, they just aren't forthcoming about it. I have done enough for them, Obi-Wan, and enough for the Sith." Tears streamed down his face as the pain slithered back into it's strongly made prison.
"I can't wait for the Jedi to form some over-complicated plan and leave my family alone without a chance in Mustafar of survival against Sidious. I was foolish enough to come here!"
Kenobi took a step back, but refused to stop fighting. Did he have points? Yes... But that did not matter, this choice was forever, these dangerous emotions were passing things. "You cannot just quit the Jedi Order, Anakin! You need to—"
"Stop it Obi-Wan! Stop lecturing me! I am not your student anymore, and I am not your slave to order around!" he began to push past the Jedi Master.
The older man was done. He blocked Anakin and force-pushed him to the ground. Skywalker's face was less than please… completely infuriated might be the words. The younger man went to force-spring himself back up and blindly engage the Master, but Kenobi used the force to add pressure and keep him down. Now he had his furious, but full, attention.
Of course… if Anakin was more focused, he would most positively counter Obi-Wan's 'attack'. This Kenobi was quite aware of.
"You can leave The Order if you want to, Anakin. Force knows I cannot stop you, but you are being rash!" Kenobi used a calmer tone, "How will you defeat Sidious without The Order, Anakin? How will you protect Padmé, Luke and Leia after burning that bridge?" He then slowed and softened his tone further, "Don't make enemies out of the Jedi, Anakin; they will not easily take you back." The Negotiator stopped for effect and to gauge his friend's emotions. It appeared he was getting through to his more logical side. "Just wait until Sidious is gone, and then you are free to leave under any condition. The force will be in balance, and your job as The Chosen One will be over. But, until then, tread your path with wisdom, not with emotion. Padmé isn't alone, she is very strong and she will get through it. You need to focus and get this final mission done. Do you understand this?" The Master released his 'attack'.
Skywalker angrily glared at Kenobi as he moved his now rather sore body to stand. "I will not stay one second longer, Kenobi," he said as he straightened his uniform. Despite, well, everything, his former master had some points.
He hated it, force knew how much... but for the sake of his family if nothing else, he would stay just a bit longer to secure their future. A future without the Sith.
Anakin looked his friend straight in the eyes. "That Sith will die by my hand, Obi-Wan, I promise you."
Kenobi knew he would keep his word; that was what worried him.
To be continued…
A/N:
Well then, whenever Anakin has a meltdown, his friends and family members are always there to straighten him out. Though the consequences of this choice are unpredictable.
The story is just going to keep rolling from here. :3
If you could please take a moment to review, that would be wonderful! Every review really does do a lot! :D
To "guest" reveiwers:
Guest R2: Thank you so much! I am glad you enjoyed it! I will keep on keeping on, thank you for the review and encouragement! :D
angie: Hi! It has been awhile, friend. Thank you for how much you've stuck with this story! I am really happy you had enjoyed When Dreams Clash With Realities! :)
Anakin and Padmé being together I think is like a dance, the movies kind-of showed this, but I really like to draw it out. And as for the twins, you have to write the 'what-if' images stuck in your mind. :D It's just too much fun! :3
I do not know if they will be okay or not… :3
Jedi finding out about twins will, in theory, be epic! :P
Ani/Obi BROMANCE! :P Got to have a little sprinkle of it here and there… ;)
Again, thank you so much for your reviews over the years! I hope you read this! XD
Until we meet again, friend!
psmoma: Thank you so much! Glad you liked the first two sections!
I did rework the last section, thank you for the suggestion. :)
I am really happy you enjoyed the story and descriptions. I'll keep chugging on! :D
Thank you for your review! :D
Guest: I will finish When Dreams Clash With Realities, I PINKY PROMISE! (Stuff just got serious... :P)
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement!
Guest: Hello! :D
I am glad you had enjoyed the story so far!
Padme's behavior is... abnormal for a mother, yes. She has always astonished me with her very short motherhood. Why did she give up? She had two little ones! Come on! :P
The Jedi had helped Naboo a lot, and I feel she has a deep respect for The Order. I think she would have chosen the greater good over herself and children unless heavily debated, but that is just my opinion! I could be totally wrong! Thus is the freedom of FanFiction, yes? :)
Thank you so much for your review, I will definitely be keeping in mind what you said! :D
Maja: Hi! :)
Oh my goodness, thank you so much! *heart* It is such an honor! :D
I know this was not soon, but here is the update, and I hope you have read it! Your review really helped me keep pushing myself to finish this story! Thank you so much for your review! :)
Response to user mbg9:
I will indeed update the story, and complete it! *determined face*
I am so happy you have enjoyed it so far!
Thank you so much for your review! :D
God Bless