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Hooooo, it's been a hot minute since I posted any fanfics haha. I meant to post this back in August but I kept forgetting… Also I started writing this in 2020 and didn't finish it until not that long ago… haha… Welp, here it is! :3

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He woke up to an insistent knocking, the rapid taps feeling less like they were on his door and more like they were on the inside of his skull.

"Jan! It's time for school! You have to wake up!"

Grumbling, he rolled over and tried to pull his pillow over his head, not ready to face the day quite yet. Not like he was ever ready to face it, though.

But, just the same as every other morning, the knocking only continued.

"Jan!"

Clearly, his silence wasn't enough of an indicator that he would prefer to be left alone. From experience, he had already known as much. But now that he was awake, Janus threw the covers off with a groan and sat up.

"I get it, Patton! I'm up!" he yelled back, rubbing his eyes with his palms.

"Okay! I made breakfast, so make sure to eat before you go!"

Light footsteps retreated from his door, finally satisfied that he was conscious.

He stood with a deep sigh and stumbled over to his closet to get dressed- black slacks, a yellow dress shirt, and his signature yellow gloves, which he insisted on wearing despite whatever anyone else thought of them. He liked them, and he'd be damned if people tried to take away one of the only things that brought him comfort throughout the day. He couldn't cover his face, but he could cover his hands, and- he just. He liked them.

But he didn't like school. Or his brother, for that matter.

Patton was perfect. Absolutely perfect. He was absolutely perfect, and everyone knew it, and no one knew it better than Janus.

Patton was one of those people who was always nice to everyone all the time, no matter who they were or how they themselves behaved toward him. He was also smart and helpful, and everyone loved him. He had tons of friends and made new ones easily, and their parents always preferred him, no matter how much they denied it whenever Janus brought it up. Janus couldn't exactly blame their parents for it, given the circumstances, but he was bitter about it nonetheless.

Janus was anything but perfect.

He was mean and bitter and always snapped at people too quickly. There were very few people who liked him and even fewer he liked back. And both of those numbers only seemed to decrease as time went on. As it was, he really only had one person he could still call a friend, and Remus had moved away last year. Now, they only text each other every so often. It was only a matter of time before they drifted apart entirely. His other friend, Virgil, was no longer his friend, having abandoned him in favor of Patton back at the end of freshman year- Which. He should have expected, he supposed, but he still hadn't gotten over it.

Now, he was alone.

There was some part of him that knew his circumstances weren't Patton's fault. He didn't make Janus act the way or did or force his friends to leave him or make him fail his classes or-

He knew Patton wasn't trying to be the favorite. But that only made Janus resent him even more. Patton managed to be so utterly perfect all the time, and it didn't even seem to take any effort. He just… was. Janus couldn't manage to come anywhere close no matter how hard he tried.

Not that he bothered to try anymore.

Once he was dressed, Janus turned to his mirror and took out his makeup. He did, admittedly, just like makeup, but by now, he'd learned that actually doing his makeup like he wanted to would just land him with more bruises. No- he applied makeup every morning to make his scar a little less obvious, because-

He had a burn scar going across half of his face.

It wasn't like the makeup could really cover it up, though. The makeup just made it less obvious- enough that people wouldn't notice and stare at him in the time it took him to walk by them.

It did nothing to hide it from those who looked at him for any longer than that.

Regardless of how truly ineffective his makeup was, however, Janus dutifully finished its application and grabbed his backpack, not bothering to check if he remembered to pack all of his books inside.

And then he left his room and exited the house without so much as glancing at the kitchen, where he knew Patton would be.

XXX

"Hey, snakeface, watch where you're going!"

Janus felt the expected shove a second later, making him stumble forward a bit. He barely managed to sigh before the second shove sent him to the ground, where he caught himself on his hands.

"Don't you all ever get tired of this?" Janus asked, his voice annoyed, as he tried to get back up. "Do you want me to fight back?"

"Ooooo, we're so scared!"

This time, it was a kick that forced him back down. Painfully, Janus bit back a yelp as the foot connected with his chest. As helpless as he was, though, just about all he could do was glare up at the students standing above him.

"Come on! Get up then, if you're so tough!"

Janus rolled his eyes.

"Hm, actually, it's rather nice down here," Janus replied. "Maybe I'll just stay here and enjoy the view of your ugly faces from a bit farther away. Might even lay down. Every additional inch between us is a damn blessing."

He received a series of glares that told him he should stop talking, but of course, he didn't.

He never did know when to shut his mouth.

"At least I'm ugly because I have a scar," he continued. "What's your excuse?"

One of the bullies raised a foot and pressed it against his chest, which served to ensure he would have a nasty bruise there later.

"You want to lay down? Here, let us help you."

And then he was on his back, where he remained as he heard footsteps starting to leave.

"Fucking freak."

Janus continued to lay there for a while, not actually wanting to get up. His chest hurt, but not just from the kick. Nonetheless, when he heard the first bell, he knew he would have to face the music. If he was late to class again, he'd end up with another lecture, or a detention, that he really didn't want to deal with.

As Janus stood, he noticed that his shirt now had a dusty footprint of dirt across the front, and he made a face at it.

"Seriously?"

All he could do was try to rub the dirt away, which was only moderately successful, and head to class.

His teachers wouldn't take notice, anyway.

XXX

That afternoon, Janus sat alone in the courtyard eating lunch, as he had done for quite a while now, seeing as Remus was gone. He preferred eating outside until it was too cold to do so (and even then, often continued until teachers began banning students for the winter), as it was a lot easier than trying to find a seat in the crowded cafeteria. This, however, gave him an unfortunate view. Across the courtyard, he could see Patton sitting with his best friends at their own usual spot- Roman, Logan, and Virgil.

But he didn't care about them. It didn't matter that his old friend was smiling and laughing with his brother instead of him. He didn't care.

Instead, he ate and doodled in his sketchbook. He mostly drew snakes, which were his favorite animal. Silently, he was glad that his bullies never knew that, or else they'd surely add that into their teasing over his face- the burn scar looked enough like scales that they'd already made that connection. But he didn't let his love of snakes get tainted by the nickname they gave him. They were just a bunch of idiots who got a power trip from beating up a guy who didn't feel like hitting them back.

Well, Janus had tried fighting back a few times, but he just ended up getting in trouble and worsening his reputation, not to mention that he usually got his ass kicked even harder. And it wasn't like he really cared about what people thought, but he eventually got tired of getting yelled at over defending himself. Now, he mostly stuck to talking back at them instead.

That was all he could do, it seemed.

About halfway through lunch, he received a text.

Hey, Dee, what's up?

Lunch.

BOOOOORIIIIING. I'm stealing cats from the pet store :3c

...Aren't you supposed to be at school?

Haha probably

…

...Send me pictures of the cats.

Gotcha! ;D

It was almost enough to make him smile.

XXX