ON BEING BRAVE
Author's Note: Episode 1 was a fantastic beginning to season 12!
While I'm very much looking forward to seeing how Elizabeth and Nathan's relationship continues to flourish, the moments that stuck were those with each other's children. This little piece of writing focuses on Nathan and Little Jack and the theme of bravery.
Bravery, courage, and facing fear are themes not exclusive to our heroine. I see them fully in our favorite Mountie, and this episode is exceptionally nuanced. I saw Nathan's fears colliding, and his facial expressions showed a deep struggle to deal with them—both as a man and as a Mountie.
As those who read me know, I love to tap into wordless moments. Nathan's expressions haunted me, and I wanted to explore his thoughts. I hope you enjoy this microfiction I've written after being inspired by season 12's premiere.
Do you believe, as I do, that Nathan was struggling? Also, as an aside note, I firmly believe that Nathan is a man of faith, even if the show hasn't tapped into it (yet). I clearly see him relying on God for support and guidance.
Bravery is a concept that looms large. Showing courage...facing fear... It's expected of men, even more of Mounties. But what do we do when being brave becomes physically painful? What should I do as a man and a Mountie when summoning courage makes my heart thud in my ears and facing fear causes a trickle of cold sweat to run down my temple?
I fear the moment when Jack asks how his father died. I fear him knowing the truth. Elizabeth has forgiven me. But will he? Will the boy I already love like a son see me differently? Will his affections change?
I'm trying to let the guilt go. But it's so difficult. Especially when I think of the future, it excruciates the heart.
Jack told me I'm a hero. That all Mounties are heroes. I have never felt the need to be seen as one. But something burns deep down. In a tiny corner of my heart, I desire for Elizabeth and her son, for Allie, to see me as one.
Talk about being reflective, of feeling many things at once. Talk about contradictions—knowing you must show courage while being afraid to do so. I must trust God to light the way and let Him make sense of things. It's the only way. It's the Mountie way.
Rosemary's right. No one knows what the future holds. The only one who does is You.