Disclaimer: I do not own any property in this work that I did not make myself.
Fiction Fighters
Chapter eleven: Kevin vs. Lynn Loud Jr. (Ed, Edd, n' Eddy vs. The Loud House)
Kevin was riding around the cul-de-sac on his bike, feeling confident that the Eds weren't up to anything that needed him to give them a pounding for. He felt like today could actually be his lucky day, like nothing could go wro-
*WHACK*
Kevin was yanked from his thoughts when a football smacked into his side, catching him off guard and sending him falling over. "Ow!" Kevin cried out, "Who's the dork who just knocked me over with a stupid football just now?!"
"Hey, don't go dissing football!" a female voice called out as Lynn Loud Jr. came up on the scene to pick up her football, "It was an accident, alright?"
Scoffing, Kevin said, "Accident, yeah sure it was."
Lynn's tone took a sudden and annoyed shift. "Hey, I'm not liking that tone," Lynn said, "I said that it was an accident!"
Kevin similarly didn't like the sudden shift in Lynn's tone. "Hey, you're the one who knocked me over," Kevin snarled, "You don't get to take any tone with me!"
All pretense of diplomacy had suddenly disappeared. "Alright, no-one can get all demanding like that with me, regardless of reason," Lynn spat, "It's go time!"
Kevin immediately turned to face Lynn and rushed her, throwing a rather good punch that had some degree of strength behind it right at the sporty Loud sister. That punch was a testament to the fact that Kevin is a star athlete over at his school.
But Lynn herself is also a star athlete, and she's had the opportunity of growing up in a household that can get rather chaotic due to her having a total of ten siblings, mostly sisters although Lynn does have one younger brother. Lynn is no stranger to throwing down. She easily dodged Kevin's strike, grabbed the offending arm, and with momentum threw Kevin off to the side.
Kevin recovered and, now even angrier than he already was, crouched into a football tackling position and rushed Lynn, intending to tackle her. Lynn however recognized what Kevin was doing, as she's got seasoned experience in all manner of sports. Particularly football which had started this fight in the first place.
Lynn also dropped into a crouching position for tackling in football and tackled right into Kevin, the two jocks now locked in a push going back and forth. Eventually, Kevin and Lynn had pushed each other away, signifying that this was not going to be all that gentle of a brawl for either of them. The two athletes got up, gave one another scowling looks.
"What part of 'it was an accident' do you not understand?" Lynn scowled.
"Accident or not, you never bothered with trying to say that you're sorry," Kevin scowled back, "You never even looked like you were figuring to apologize!"
"You don't apologize for accidents," Lynn shot back, right before she rushed Kevin with another football tackle, catching him by surprise and hooking him over her left shoulder. She was then able to carry Kevin all the way to a nearby tree, which she slammed Kevin's back into, also Lynn was able to strike the tree hard enough to make it shake and rustle the leaves above.
Kevin was momentarily stunned, and a few things fell out of the tree, including a scented candle, a hand mirror, two squirrels, a few loose leaves, and some sports balls. One of the sports balls, which was a soccer ball, ended up falling right on top of Lynn's head, making her yelp out, but more out of surprise rather than pain.
Seeing what had hit her in the head, Lynn snapped at Kevin, "Hey! Why'd you hit me in the head with a soccer ball, huh?!"
"I don't own a soccer ball," Kevin said as he was getting over being stunned, "And I certainly didn't have one on hand when we started things here, you crazy girl!"
"Then explain why you hit me in the head with a soccer ball just now!" Lynn snapped at Kevin in a rather demanding tone.
"I told you, I didn't do it!" Kevin snapped back, "It must have fallen out of the tree due to force when you slammed me into the tree trunk!"
Scoffing, Lynn said, "Yeah right! Like a soccer ball can get up into trees around here!"
"You'd... be very surprised with what all happens in Peach Creek here," Kevin said, just as he was finished getting over being stunned. Lynn was proving to be one hell of an opponent to deal with in a fight. Kevin at least was able to give any of the Eds a pounding if they did something to get on his nerves and that was the end of it.
But Lynn? Not only is she fighting back, but she's able to keep up, and is also proving to be able to exceed what Kevin was expecting. Things were not looking good for Kevin, so he had to think fast if he was to put this crazy girl in her place.
However, Lynn wasn't exactly giving Kevin a chance to collect his thoughts, as with a jumping kick she slammed her feet right into Kevin's gut, sending him flying back and hitting his back right on the ground. Luckily he slammed into someone's front yard, cushioned by the cool soft grass and the firm but not hard dirt.
Lynn tried rushing Kevin while he was down, but Kevin barely had the wherewithal to pull his legs in and lash out with them, striking Lynn in her gut right as she came over him, then threw her back so he could get up albeit weakly. Kevin has never had to deal with fighting someone so tenaciously, as well as able to fight back against him.
Kevin was actually a little alarmed when he realized that Lynn could keep up with him in this fight. It was like having to fight one of the Kanker sisters. ...No, Kevin realized, Lynn here was, to his great and ever rising alarm, worse to deal with than the Kanker sisters, or at least one of them at a time. It would have amazed Kevin if he wasn't alarmed that such a person could exist.
He knew that he had to figure out getting some manner of advantage in this fight if he were to get out of this in one piece. Luckily for Kevin, Lynn was stunned enough for him to go for his bike. He did so, hopping on and charging right at Lynn. He even pulled out a hockey stick and had it raised back, intending to strike Lynn with it as he charged her.
Lynn saw this coming, she got over being stunned just in time, and pulled out her own hockey stick to meet the challenge that was rushing right for her. Lynn was able to parry Kevin's strike, but he was able to circle back around and try again. Again, Lynn was able to parry the strike from Kevin as he came in at her on his bike.
Kevin circled away from Lynn and stopped to look right at her. "You're being an awfully stubborn dork, you know," Kevin snarled.
"Hey, I'm no dork!" Lynn snapped back, "Only one of my older sisters, and my little brother, and I'd say two of my little sisters at least are dorks! But not me!"
Kevin paused for a bit, a look of mild surprise on his face. "...That's at least four siblings you have that I'm counting," Kevin said, "You wouldn't happen to have more, would you?"
"I have a total of ten siblings!" Lynn declared.
Kevin's look of surprise grew even more pronounced. "...Woah," Kevin said, sounding both genuinely surprised and genuinely impressed, "That is a LOT of siblings. No wonder you're being so hard to put down, you must get a lot of experience dealing with so many siblings in what's bound to be a very chaotic family."
"And I'm the best one to offer among my siblings and I!" Lynn declared as she rushed forward to try to strike Kevin. But he rode away again, circling around to try to strike Lynn. He was like a knight in a jousting tournament, his bike being his horse, and his hockey stick being his lance. Kevin saw that he had some advantage in this fight against Lynn, but mainly while he was on his bike.
That said, he intended to keep the advantage by any means, so he was going to try to avoid Lynn's rushes while also trying to land jousting strikes on her. Kevin tried riding towards Lynn to strike her with his hockey stick, but Lynn parried the strike with her own hockey stick, making Kevin have to ride around and turn back to face Lynn again.
He tried going in for another jousting strike on Lynn, but Kevin's efforts were foiled again. He tried for a third go, but yet again he saw that his efforts ended up being foiled. "You're a rather stubborn girl, aren't you?" Kevin snarled as he eyed Lynn dangerously after circling back around and turning so that he was facing Lynn once again.
"And you're lousy at fighting," Lynn shot back, "So many openings, I would have put you down by now if you weren't a coward coming at me on a ride while I'm forced to go on foot!"
Kevin did not appreciate being called a coward, so he gave a big yell and rushed quickly at Lynn, drawing a surprised look from her. Kevin thanks to that surprise was able to land a strike on Lynn and send her flying into a pile of garbage on the sidewalk outside of the home of one of the kids who live in the cul-de-sac.
When the rest of the trash fell away, Lynn saw that she had landed sitting on a discarded exercise bike. Seeing this, Lynn said, "Perfect! Now we're fighting on even footing!"
"Pfft, that's an exercise bike, you dork," Kevin began, "What's it-" Kevin was cut off when Lynn began pedaling on the exercise bike so hard and fast, some framing fell away, allowing Lynn to rush right towards Kevin as the exercise bike was free like a normal bike now. Even Kevin, with what all he had seen living in Peach Creek, did not see that coming.
The surprise that Lynn was able to score there allowed her to rush right and Kevin and strike him with her hockey stick hard enough to send him flying off of his bike and onto someone's front lawn. Taking advantage of Kevin being down, Lynn rushed him again, but about halfway to Kevin, Lynn jumped from her makeshift ride and flew right at Kevin.
Seeing Lynn soaring right down at him, Kevin quickly rolled on his side, as if he were a rolling pin, to avoid the strike. He was barely able to get to his feet in time to block Lynn's follow up strike, blocking her hockey stick with his own. The two jocks parried strikes back and forth, neither one showing even the barest scrap of let up.
However, Lynn while thinking and acting quickly, jumped back while using her hockey stick as a hook to trip Kevin up. This worked, and Kevin fell backwards, although Lynn was able to rush in and land a solid, staggering punch into the side of Kevin's head, not only hard enough to knock him out, but also send his hat flying off.
After the knocked out Kevin collapsed onto the lawn, Lynn looked down at him. "It..." Lynn began, breathing a bit hard to catch her breath, "...was... an accident." Lynn then saw where Kevin's hat laid on the ground a ways away. "...That hat looks like it would make for a good gift for Lana," Lynn said as she walked over and collected Kevin's hat, putting it on so she wouldn't have to hold it.
As she walked away, Lynn spotted Kevin's bike, it was still in pretty solid condition. "...And I do owe Lincoln a bike because of the mess involving his last bike," Lynn remarked aloud to herself. Lynn walked over to Kevin's bike, picked it up and set it on its tires, hopped on, and rode off.
WINNER: LYNN LOUD JR.
END, CHAPTER ELEVEN
Author's notes;
This is the opening chapter of season/block two of Fiction Fighters, and it sees Lynn Loud Jr. from The Loud House fight Kevin from Ed, Edd, n' Eddy. I had tried using Lynn in a past chapter idea, but the opponent I had lined up for her to fight (Clawdeen from the 2022 Monster High) didn't make a lot of sense for Lynn to fight.
But this fight made a lot more sense; Lynn and Kevin are both known to be jocks and have had histories of being bullies. After looking into it, I saw that a lot of the cul-de-sac kids have a lot of similarities with some of the Loud siblings, so there may be one or two future chapters that will see another clash of Ed, Edd, n' Eddy squaring off against The Loud House.
Anyway, the next chapter should hopefully be out before too long. I'll see you all then when it comes out. Until then, take care.
Next time, on Fiction Fighters...
One night in a neighborhood in Arlen, the Gribbles were awoken in the middle of the night by some manner of noise happening outside of their house. "What was that?" Nancy said in a startled tone, sounding and looking alarmed by the sudden noise that woke her up.
"Don't worry, Nancy, I'll go check it out," Dale said as he got up out of bed, wearing only a pair of sleep pants of a dark reddish brown hue. He put on his signature shades and hat, then he grabbed a nearby baseball bat so that he was armed to confront what made the noise.
"Probably just a raccoon rummaging through our garbage, though," Dale remarked before he left the bedroom, "Hank told me and the other guys it's starting to become a problem as of late. About time that I show that I am good at getting rid of all sorts of pests, not just bugs."
Dale then left the bedroom, then made his way outside and walked around the side of his house. Sure enough, Dale spotted someone, or something, had knocked over his trashcans. And it seemed that something was rummaging through the one closest to him.
"Alright, raccoon!" Dale yelled, holding his bat ready to strike, "Come out with your paws up!"
"Who you calling a raccoon?!" a youthful yet mildly raspy female voice snapped from the knocked over trashcan. Crawling out of the trashcan was a... a humanoid badger girl dressed like she lives in a jungle area somewhere. She also came out wielding a boomerang.
"Gaahh! Hank was wrong!" Dale exclaimed, "It wasn't raccoons rummaging through our garbage, it was aliens!"
"I'm no raccoon and I'm no alien!" the humanoid badger girl scowled, "The name's Sticks, and I'm a jungle badger! You look like you're gonna keep me from rummaging through the garbage, so I'm gonna have to defend myself!" Sticks then leapt up and flew at Dale, ready to fight.
Dale Gribble vs. Sticks the Jungle Badger (King of the Hill vs. Sonic (Sonic Boom))