Chapter 15: Oops, Nighty Night Dolores
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The next morning after breakfast of waffles and strawberries, McGonagall came and got Harry from the Gryffindor table. It was as if they didn't trust him to find his own way to the headmaster's office. Harry had no idea why they thought that, he was the epitome of a good student. Right?
"Come with me, Mr. Potter," she said, coming up behind him at the table. She didn't even make sure he was done with his breakfast. She was done with hers, so he had plenty of time to finish his.
He shrugged and shoved the last bit in his mouth and got up and followed her. He didn't feel the need to needle her today, at least not yet. She wasn't worth his time at the moment. Who knows what the future held though.
She didn't talk to him on the way. She simply escorted him to the gargoyles that guarded the staircase. "You may go up, Mr. Potter," she said and then turned to leave.
"Aren't you coming with me?" Harry asked, knowing full well she wouldn't. She never went out of her way to do anything that might be construed as helpful, or out of her prevue.
That seemed to stop her for a moment. She seemed to be miffed at something. "No, I was not invited to attend," she sniffed.
"You're my Head of House. It is your duty to be there," Harry stated, strongly. He was very firm in this. He wanted her there. It was her job, and he was tired of her shirking it. She had done that for the last four years and if she did that now, he would lose all faith in her. Not that he had much to begin with.
"It is not your place to tell me my duties, young man," she said, sniffing again. How dare he tell her what her job was. Albus was quite firm in telling her that she was not welcome at that meeting. The fact that Severus was there, and she was not, irked her something fierce. She had argued for hours that it was not becoming that that man be there and not her, but it fell on deaf ears.
"You know, that is why half of the students think this school is a joke and just do whatever they feel like. You don't do what you're supposed to, and when we need you, you brush us off. You disgust me," he said, turning and giving the password to the gargoyles. He then stomped up the moving staircase, leaving an angry woman behind him.
Minerva McGonagall was many things, but a coward was not one of them. She moved to follow Harry up the stairs. She'd attend that meeting, Albus be damned. If he fired her, so be it. She was due to retire anyway.
Harry just smirked to himself when he heard her footsteps. He knew she'd follow him.
She didn't say a word when she caught up to him on the landing. She just opened the door and marched inside. There waiting for them were Dolores Umbridge, Cornelius Fudge and Sirius Black. Not to mention Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape. With the two of them the office was quite crowded.
"Thank you, Minerva, you may go," Albus said, waving his deputy away. He didn't know why she came in; he had made his stance very clear. She was not to attend. He didn't want her to know half of what might be said. She was such a sensitive thing.
"I'll be staying, thank you very much," she stated primly, leaving no room for argument. She wasn't going to be swayed on this. She went to a chair next to Sirius Black and sat down.
"Very well," the old man said, looking shocked, but not wanting to fight in front of guests. He'd make sure that there wasn't anything serious talked about during the meeting.
"What is he doing here?" Harry asked, taking a seat next to Sirius. He pointed to Snape and wrinkled his nose. He had behaved during the man's class yesterday, but he didn't have to right now.
"Beats me, pup. If it were up to me, he'd be in my old cell," the dogman said, sneering at Snape who smirked back. There was no love lost between these two.
"Can we get on with this? I have more important things to do than to be here," Fudge said, playing with his bowler hat. He hated the fact that he was here. Dolores was supposed to handle all of this. She wasn't supposed to call him at the first sign of problems. It was the second day of classes for goodness' sake.
"Hem, hem. We are here because that boy has insulted me. He showed me up during the Welcoming Feast, and then didn't come to my class, and did not come to the detention I assigned him," Dolores said, simpering at Cornelius. "I want him expelled," she added with a satisfactory grin.
"Is this true, boy?" Fudge asked, like he couldn't believe what he was hearing. He knew the boy was an attention-seeking brat, but to do all that on the first day, that was uncalled for.
"Yup, every word," Harry said, without remorse.
That threw Fudge for a loop. He thought the boy would deny it or at least make up excuses. "Why?" the man sputtered out.
"Because she's an uneducated bitch that has no business teaching. I would learn more watching a flubber worm eat that I would learn from her," Harry stated in a monotone. He wasn't going to mash words with the simpleton. He was going to be as straightforward as he could be.
"How dare you!" the accused woman screeched, standing and pointing her finger at the Boy-Who-Lived. She had never been so insulted in her life. At least not to her face.
"Oh, I dare. I know for a fact that you only got an Acceptable on your NEWTs. That doesn't qualify you to teach. You should not be here," he stated, pointing a return accusing finger at her. "You shouldn't even be in this school in any capacity. You are uneducated for any position. I don't know who you sucked off to get here, but they got jipped."
"Where did you come by this information, Harry?" Dumbledore asked, ignoring the screeching woman for now. What Harry said was uncalled for, but he needed to know where the boy was getting his information.
"The ministry, of course," Harry said, like it was obvious. "All I had to do was dig a bit and I found what I needed." That was a lie, of course, he had called down his dad and asked him. It wasn't financial information, but his dad knew the answers. He also knew that Umbitch would lose her shite over that answer.
"That's impossible!" Umbridge screeched. "I had my records scrubbed." She had done it when her father 'disappeared'. She took care of all her problems at the same time. She paid a pretty knut to do it too. She had them take care of her mother too. All her dirty secrets were buried along with her heritage. Well, they never found her squib brother. That was another story.
"You what?" the Supreme Mugwump asked, looking at her most severely. He could have her out of the castle on this charge. He was looking for an excuse to do that. Now she just hung herself.
"I mean, I, uh," she said, trying to backtrack, her fingers going to her necklace in a nervous gesture. "What I mean was that I, uh, I, uh," was as far as she got. She could not think of anything to cover her blunder. There just wasn't a word that matched scrub, except flubbed, and that was just as bad.
"That is a most grievous offense," Albus said, looking at Fudge to see his reaction. If that man knew then there wasn't much he could do.
"I don't know anything about this," Cornelius stated, looking at her with new eyes. He knew she was keeping secrets, but this was big. He had heard rumors that she was a half-blood but had blown them off as just that. But if she had scrubbed her record there might be truth in those rumors.
"So not only are you not qualified to teach, but you're also a criminal as well," Sirius said, looking at her like she was a bug. "And they call me a villain," he started laughing. He was prone to do that. Ever since he got free, he was emotionally unbalanced. He was more on the manic side than the depressed, so he didn't pay much attention to it, but these bursts of laughing fits were unnerving.
"I had a very good reason for what I did," she said, looking around the room like there was a way out of the hole she dug herself into. She wasn't finding any. She felt trapped and she didn't like it, and it was all Potter's fault.
"Oh?" Albus asked, he lifted his white eyebrow in her direction, like he would love to hear the reasoning behind her getting rid of her records. He was sure it was a good story. Insert sarcasm.
"Yes, but that is not the reason why we are here," she said, trying to deflect back to the original topic. "We are here because Potter was misbehaving," she insisted, trying in vain to get the attention away from her.
"I gave my reasons, and they are valid ones as far as I am concerned," Harry said, folding his arms defiantly. "You on the other hand, don't have any reason for scrubbing your records. Unless you are trying to hide something. Did you lie on your application?" he asked, looking at the minister, who was now put on the spot.
"Yes, Dolores, if you falsified your application to get the job as my Undersecretary, then we must investigate you," Fudge said, going to the floo and throwing in some powder and calling Amelia Bones. He was going to pass the galleon to someone else.
"You little brat, this is all your fault," Umbridge screamed and went for her wand.
Harry just laughed as every adult in the room hit her with a stunning charm. He didn't even need to lift a finger. Though he did throw a spell that put the woman into a coma, for good measure. It was untraceable and unbreakable. She would never come out of it no matter what they tried. She would slowly die in that coma. Unlike the Longbottoms, she would slowly deteriorate.
That is what Amelia walked into. "What in Merlin's name is going on here?" she demanded to know. All she knew was four adults were pointing their wands at a downed Dolores Umbridge. She knew the woman was intolerable, but what had she done to piss so many of them off?
"She was going to curse Harry," Sirius said, his wand still trained on the downed woman, like she would get up again.
"What did you hit her with?" the Head of the DMLE asked, motioning them to put away their wands.
"Stunning spells," Harry informed her, having gotten his laugher under control.
"Get Poppy in here. You lot are going to be lucky if she's not dead," Bones stated, going to check to see if the woman was indeed alive. She bent over her and waved her wand over the body and noted that it was extremely pale. She observed her findings and found that the woman was in a coma. Not dead, but she might as well be. "She's in a coma," she announced.
"Wicked," Harry said, looking smug. "Now we can get someone competent to teach our DADA class." He was glad his spell didn't show up in that diagnosis. He didn't think it would, but it was nice to have it confirmed.
"Did you do this, boy?" Fudge asked, coming upon the scene late. He was going to have Dolores investigated anyway, but he wanted to be the one to punish her for embarrassing him. If she was in a coma, then it would be like kicking a puppy. There was no fun in kicking puppies. He knew, he tried, and all they did was bite your ankles.
"Nope, I didn't even touch my wand," Harry stated, completely in truth. He just waved his hand a little bit.
"I am sure it was your fault somehow," the minister said, pressing the matter. He had heard the boy could do some wandless magic; he wouldn't need his wand.
"Harry had nothing to do with it, Cornelius," Dumbledore stated, tucking his wand away. He was upset that this happened. Now he couldn't take Harry to task for upsetting one of his teachers. "Alas, it was too many stunning spells at once," he explained to the simple man.
"Why was she stunned?" Fudge asked, looking at all the adults like they were just being mean to the ministry official.
"She was attempting to harm Mr. Potter," McGonagall stated, also putting her wand away. she was glad she had come to the meeting. She had not had so much fun in quite a long time.
"See it was his fault," the belligerent man stated, pointing his meaty finger at Harry, who looked like he was contemplating on how to remove it from his body. He quickly lowered his arm.
"Don't be ridiculous, Minister. The young man in innocent," Bones snapped. Though she did see the way Potter looked at the minister. The boy wasn't quite as innocent as he liked to portray. Still, he was a hero, and people should treat him as such. He had an Order of Merlin: First Class for Merlin's sake.
"We wouldn't even be here if it weren't for him," Fudge stated, sputtering through his beefy lips.
"No, we wouldn't be here if you hadn't assigned a useless woman to teach us. Take some credit, Minister," Harry said with a shit-eating grin, making Sirius bark with laughter. "I mean, I'll give credit where credit is due. You assigned her here. Where she got to teach one class and that was because they were too scared to walk out. The rest of the school thought she was a waste of space."
"I'll not let you pin this on me," Fudge stated, worrying his hat. He couldn't take the hit on the polls if they found out that he put a worthless teacher on staff here at Hogwarts. The public would hate him even more than they do now.
"Try to put this on me and I'll bury you in court so far that your grandchildren will still be paying the law fees," Harry warned the man. He was sure Waters would love to get his teeth into another lawsuit against the ministry.
Fudge huffed and left the room without another word. He had some fires to put out. He was going to talk to his good friend, Lucius. He'd know what to do.
"So, who will you get to teach now?" Harry asked Dumbledore. He wasn't expecting an answer, but who knew, stranger things have happened.
"That is a problem for me to solve, my boy," the old man said with a twinkle in his eyes.
"Yeah, you did such a bang-up job this time," Harry said in such a loud mutter that he might as well have spoken out loud.
"Have care how you speak to the headmaster," Snape said, speaking for the first time. So far, he had just lurked in the shadows and looked like a dungeon bat. Sure, he cursed Umbitch, but that was all he did.
"Oh, I see why you have him here. He's your bodyguard. You don't trust the students, so you hired him as muscle. I'm sure the other kids would love to know this," Harry crowed, loving that theory. He couldn't wait to spread that rumor around. He'd love to see what it grew into.
"Now, Harry, let's not go throwing out any more accusations," Dumbledore said, trying to defuse the situation. He didn't like that implication one bit.
"No, that does make sense," Sirius said, laughing his arse off. He knew that Albus was a homosexual and that Snape wasn't, but if it got out that Albus was… Well, the stories could get out of hand. Should he, or shouldn't he? That was the question. It would make for some great chaos.
"Now see here," Snape said, not liking the thought of being hired muscle.
"Shut it, Snape, the bodyguard isn't supposed to talk," Sirius said, still laughing.
"I am not a bodyguard," Severus stated, looking just like a bodyguard, all stoic and menacing.
"Sure, you're not. How much is he paying you? I hope it's worth it," Harry said, looking at the man with pity. "Or are you doing it pro bono? What other reasons are you here for? I am not of your House, none of what's going on here affects you or yours. The only other reason for you to be here is in the capacity of Voldemort's spy. Is that it, are you here as Voldy's spy? Well then run and tell him I'm not playing anymore."
He wanted to make sure that he got that into the Dark Lord's ears. He knew Snape still reported to the 'man'. So, whatever was said here still had a chance of getting back to him.
"What do you mean, Harry?" Dumbledore asked, alarmed at that statement. He couldn't mean what he was saying. Harry was too important to the war effort. He was needed, vital even. He had to deliver the killing blow, it was prophesied.
"Just that. This is a game for grown-ups, of which I am not. If you two want to play war, go for it. I am just a teenager, with only four years' education. I am not playing your games," he said slowly and succinctly. He thought he had made that clear before, but he guessed he needed to make it clear again.
"But you must," the old man said, standing and glaring at the little upstart. "The prophecy states as much," he added like it was the end all of the subject. To him it was.
"Bugger the prophecy," Harry said, with all seriousness. "I am done with your games, for the last time. I've tagged out. Sirius is my tag in." He beamed at his godfather, who smiled back at him.
"Yup, and I have a team to back me," Sirius said, looking at the people in the room not trusting any single one of them. Bones was a maybe, but she worked for the ministry, so it was a hard maybe.
"Harry, the prophecy was quite clear…" was a far as Albus got. He sat heavily in his chair, seeing that he wasn't getting anywhere standing over the boy.
"Did you hear the same prophecy that I did, because the one I heard was as unclear as mud," Harry said, looking at him like he was barmy. The words of the prophecy were garbled and twisted. They didn't make a lick of sense and if this old man said they did he was crazy.
"Now, Harry, my boy, if you just listen to me, I can explain it to your satisfaction," Dumbledore stated. He was sure of his interpretation of the prophecy, even though he never took Divinations.
"Nope, I'm done listening to you," Harry said, getting up and going to the door. "Find someone confident to teach DADA, or we are just going to keep walking out on them." With that he left. He didn't look back when Albus called his name, he just kept walking.
Sirius laughed again.
"Well, he told you," Bones said, still standing next to Umbridge, who was still in her coma. She would probably be there a very long time. "I will send one of my Aurors to teach the class. That is what should have been done in the first place," she said, thinking perhaps Shacklebolt could do it, or Proudfoot might want a year off. Or they could trade a month at a time. She'd have to see if she could swing something. Savage was bitching that he had not had a vacation in a while.
"Sirius, my boy, you must impress upon Harry how vital he is," Dumbledore started, only to be stopped by Sirius lifting a hand.
"We only have one thing to do and then we are prepared to go after the Dark Lord. I won't tell you what that is, because you have a Death Eater in the room. Once we are done with our task we will kill him," Sirius said, looking straight at Snape. It was a test. If the man ran to Voldemort they wouldn't trust him with the time of day.
"Severus has my complete trust," Albus said, like he always did.
"He has yet to earn mine," Sirius said, then got up and headed to the floo. "We will do what we must. When we do it without Harry, I expect you to apologize to the boy. You ruined his life over that thrice-damned prophecy." He took some powder into his hands and readied himself to floo away.
Dumbledore sat up to his full height. "Do not think to dictate to me, Sirius." He would not be spoken to that way.
"You are a fool, Albus. You have grown hubris. You are so pumped up on yourself that you can't see when you are wrong," Sirius said, shaking his head and flooing away.
There was silence in the room for about two minutes as everyone took in those words. Albus brushed them off as usual, but Snape and McGonagall took them at face value and wondered just how far gone their leader was in his hubris. Amelia already thought that of the man.
"Did anyone call Poppy?" Amelia asked, looking at the rest of the adults still there. She was waiting for medical personnel to come and take Umbridge off her hands. She wanted to go back to work. She had enough drama at her job, she didn't need Hogwarts' drama as well. Sure, she wanted to know what was happening here, but not the nitty-gritty.
"Oh, my apologies, Amelia," Albus said, quickly sending off a Patronus to alert Madam Pomfrey that there was a medical emergency in his office.
"I will take my leave," Minerva said, standing and going to the door. She hadn't cancelled her first class, and they had surely gotten into trouble without her being there. Damn Potter, for goading her.
"I must go as well," Snape said, also heading to the door. He thought the whole meeting had been a waste of his time. He had learned nothing new. Nothing that he could use anyway. If he told the Dark Lord anything he had learned, then he would never be trusted again by Black or those that he needed to be trusted by.
"Yes, we will discuss things later, Severus," Albus said, knowing what he was going to have Snape tell Tom. The man would not like it, but it was for the Greater Good.
Now that the meeting was broken up, Albus set about doing his job. While Amelia waited for Pomfrey. Soon enough, the mediwitch came and took Umbridge off her hand and Bones got to go back to work. Already there were rumors spreading about what had happened in that meeting. Fudge had a big mouth.
Tonks was called into her office and asked what she had dug up on the woman. "Well, she did a good job of cleaning up after herself. I can't find any of her records from before her father disappeared," Tonks stated, giving her report. "I was going to try and get into Hogwarts, but I heard that she's in a coma now, so that's out. I want to try and find her brother."
"Do that," Bones gave the authorization.
"Alright," Tonks said, leaving behind what she had gathered so far, which wasn't much, just hearsay and gossip.
"Thanks, Tonks, I'll look into what you've gathered," Bones said, looking over the report. "Go see what you can find out on the brother but only take a week on it. If it doesn't pan out by then, drop it."
"Right," Tonks said, getting up, tripping over her feet, apologizing, and leaving the office.
"How that girl got past basic," Bones said, shaking her head. She reread the report then put it away for now. She had other cases to work on. Umbridge wasn't going anywhere.