Hi y'all! I was originally going to wait a bit before posting this new story, but I haven't been able to get the idea out of my head, so enjoy the first chapter!

I took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

Adrian opened it a moment later, a smile on his face despite the wariness in his eyes.

"Little dhampir," he said. "To what do I owe this surprise?"

I smiled up at him. "Hi, Adrian. Can I come in?"

He nodded and held the door open for me. I followed him into the living room, where he (presumably) resumed his sprawled-out position on the couch.

"We need to talk," I said after a moment.

"I figured by the serious look on your face," he said lightly. Something in his eyes told me that he knew what was coming.

"I love you, Adrian," I said. "But it's not fair to you to be with you right now. I don't know where my head is, and everything is really complicated right now. I don't know what I want, and I think it might be best to not be involved with anyone right now."

Adrian nodded slowly. "I'm not surprised. But be honest with me: if Belikov came through those doors right now wanting to be with you again, would you say yes?"

Part of me longed for that to happen, even though I knew it never would. But part of me was genuinely unsure of what I wanted.

"I don't know," I said finally. "And it's not fair to drag you along while I try to sort out my shit."

As Adrian studied me, I could see conflicting emotions behind his eyes. After a moment, he looked away as he spoke. "Thanks for stopping by. You know where the door is."

"Adrian—"

He held up his hand, stopping me. "Please, just go."

"I'm sorry," I whispered as I stood up. He didn't say anything as I walked to the door, and I exited his apartment, careful not to let the door slam behind me.

I wandered away from the royal housing, not wanting to see anyone right now. I wasn't surprised when I found myself at the guardian bar at Court. I shook my head as I walked in and nearly stopped dead in my tracks.

I wasn't expecting to see Dimitri sitting at the bar. I almost turned around and left but decided that I wasn't going to let him run me off. The only open seat at the bar was next to him, and I gritted my teeth before sitting down.

He glanced over at me as I sat down but said nothing. I took it as a good sign that he didn't try to send me away, and I ordered a drink from the bartender. When it was placed in front of me a few minutes later, I downed it in one gulp, motioning for a second one as soon as the glass was back on the bar top.

"What are you doing?"

He spoke in a low tone, and I almost struggled to hear him over the noise around us.

"Why does it matter?" I asked, looking at him. I sighed; I didn't want to fight. "It's been a long day."

Dimitri arched an eyebrow silently as if waiting for me to continue. Instead, I changed the topic.

"Where are your guardians? I didn't think they were letting you out and about by yourself."

Dimitri frowned. "They're not. They're around here somewhere. I guess they figured that in a guardian bar, I can't cause that much damage."

I glanced around and noted a couple of guardians stationed by the door and around the room. There were only a handful, thankfully. His guard had been reduced recently as people were finally coming around to the idea that he was truly a dhampir again. Dimitri also had a point: in a guardian bar, it was essentially as if his guard numbers hadn't dwindled. I hadn't been surprised to see that the chair open at the bar was next to Dimitri when I walked in, and I was willing to bet that it had been open the entire time that Dimitri had been sitting there.

My second drink was put in front of me, and I took a few sips of it, aware that Dimitri was still watching me as he nursed his own drink. I sighed and turned towards him.

"Is there something I can help you with?"

His dark eyes stayed locked in on mine, and I refused to be the one to break eye contact.

"Is it true that you're dating Adrian?"

I almost laughed. "No. Not anymore."

He arched an eyebrow, waiting for more information. I couldn't help but oblige him.

"I broke up with him earlier," I said. "Everything is too much right now, and I can't drag him through that."

"Through what?"

I met Dimitri's gaze again. "I need to sort out my feelings. I don't know what I want anymore."

He didn't say anything for a moment. "I was surprised when I heard."

"I agreed to give him a shot after he funded my trip to Russia."

His eyes went dark, and he frowned when I mentioned Russia, and I internally cursed myself.

"Oh," he said. "Well, that at least explains how you got there."

I nodded and turned back to my drink. We sat in silence again, and I had ordered my third drink when Dimitri spoke. He had another drink in front of him, and I wasn't sure which number it was.

"I'm sorry." His voice was low when he spoke, and I almost didn't hear him.

"For what?"

"For Russia," he said.

I reached out, my hand covering his. I didn't miss the way he flinched, but he didn't pull back. "There isn't anything to apologize for. It wasn't you."

"It doesn't work like that," he said.

"Why not?" I challenged. "When spirit's darkness had taken me over after Jesse attacked Lissa, you told me that it wasn't me. Why is this any different?"

"I've done terrible things, Roza," he said, the nickname slipping out.

"And I've forgiven you for them," I said.

Dimitri didn't say anything, and he still didn't move his hand.

We made small talk after that, not daring to touch the subject of Russia and Dimitri's time as a Strigoi. We fell into a surprisingly easy conversation, and soon, the bartenders were calling out for the last round, and I realized how late it was. Dimitri and I were both tipsy, though I was leaning closer to being drunk. As we stood up, I realized that Dimitri was nearly as drunk as I was, something that I never thought I would see. As we left the bar, I found myself following him, my hand still in his, and he led me back to his apartment. His guardians followed, not saying anything, and I knew they would take up their posts outside of his apartment.

Once we got inside, all bets were off, and Dimitri had barely let go of my hand before I leaped at him, kissing him. Dimitri picked me up, effortlessly carrying me toward his bedroom, where he sat down on the bed. I straddled his hips, not wanting to break contact.

I pulled him closer to me, fitting myself so perfectly into his lap that every inch of us was connected. The only way that I could be closer was if I crawled inside of him. We continued to kiss, and after a moment, I shifted, separating us just enough for me to pull my shirt over my head. Dimitri stared up at me, wonder in his eyes, as if I was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

"Are you really here?" he whispered, even as his hands gripped my hips.

I nodded. "I'm here," I said, dragging his face back to mine so our lips met again.

There wasn't much time for talking after that, and we both shifted as we wiggled out of our clothing, not wanting to part long enough to do it properly. I stayed perched on his lap as we both got naked, and as soon as I felt his bare skin against mine, I was shifting, reaching between us to line his cock up before sinking down on him in one smooth motion. We both groaned – me at the feeling of fullness and him at the feeling of me clenching around him.

I set a slow pace, wanting to drag this moment out and make it last. That idea went out the window less than five minutes later as we both became impatient. It had been months since our first time in the cabin, and while we came close to sex while in Russia, it wasn't the same. Dimitri gripped my hips, helping me set a rhythm, and continued to kiss as our thrusts got more frantic. We were both chasing our releases and with our minds set on a common goal, it didn't take long. I wasn't sure whose orgasm hit first, but soon, we were both coming, chasing every aftershock that we could.

Both of our bodies were slick with sweat when I climbed off of Dimitri's lap, and I couldn't find it in myself to care as I cuddled up to his side. The alcohol was still running through my system, making me more tired than normal. I peeked up at Dimitri and saw that his eyelids were fluttering, too, and a few minutes later, we were both asleep.

When I woke in the morning, for the first time in weeks, I felt at peace in Dimitri's arms. That was until he woke up. I could tell instantly by the way he tensed that he was awake.

"Good morning," I said softly. I turned to face him, my heart sinking when I saw how closed off his face was.

"This was a mistake," he said lowly.

"Dimitri—"

"Please," he begged, pulling away from me. "Leave."

I stared at him in shock for a moment before I did as he said. I climbed out of the bed, my back to him as I got dressed. I didn't say anything, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall. I didn't say anything to the guardians posted at Dimitri's door as I passed, unsure that I could speak without crying. As soon as I was back in my room, I didn't hold back. I curled up on my bed, sobbing for everything that I had lost. I had been stupid enough to let my guard down and let Dimitri get close again despite knowing it wouldn't fix anything between us.

Lissa found me like that a few hours later, having let herself into my apartment after I failed to show up for our scheduled brunch. She held me while I continued to cry and continued to hold me when the tears finally subsided. I vowed that I would finally push Dimitri out of my life. He had shown time and time again that he didn't want me to be around. It didn't matter how much I went through to restore him; he only saw Lissa as his saving grace.

I've been working on this story for the past week or so and have most of the story written, so I'll be doing weekly updates (maybe biweekly, depending on the reception of the story!) Hope y'all enjoyed it. I'd love to hear y'all's thoughts :)