A Tale of Unmatched Chaos and Unrelenting Absurdity
๐๐ก๐๐ฉ๐ญ๐๐ซ ๐๐ง๐: ๐๐ง ๐๐ง๐๐ฑ๐ฉ๐๐๐ญ๐๐ ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐ข๐ง๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง
Privet Drive lay silent under the summer moon, the world blissfully unaware that reality itself was about to be upended. A cold fog rolled in, bringing with it the creeping presence of two Dementors, their soulless hunger set upon their target: Harry Potter.
But tonight, the hunted had become the hunter.
With a mere thought, Patronus Prime was unleashed. Not one, but ten celestial entities emerged in divine furyโSolgaleo's solar might burned away the shadows, Yveltal's life-draining aura shattered their existence, and Zapdos unleashed a storm that sent echoes across dimensions.
The Dementors had no time to flee, no hope to resist. They were eradicated in a matter of seconds, their cursed forms reduced to nothingness. The aftershock rippled through the very fabric of the Wizarding World.
The Ministry, the Order, and Voldemort himself felt it. And for the first time in recorded history, the Dark Lord shuddered in fear.
๐๐ก๐๐ฉ๐ญ๐๐ซ ๐๐ฐ๐จ: ๐๐จ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐จ๐ ๐๐ก๐๐จ๐ฌ
At Grimmauld Place, Sirius Black watched in awe, Remus Lupin in horror, as Mini Lily Potter Golem suplexed Voldemort's Voodoo Doll into the coffee table. The wretched doll twitched violently, and somewhere across Britain, the real Voldemort howled in agony.
Sirius had tears in his eyes from laughing too hard.
"Pup," he gasped between fits of hysteria, "this is the greatest thing I've ever seen."
Remus rubbed his temples, struggling to grasp reality.
"Harry. What. Have. You. Done?"
Harry blinked at them innocently.
"I was bored, so I made more."
And so, Mini James Potter was born. Then Mini Sirius. Then Mini Remus.
Then, in an act of divine comedy, Mini Snape emerged, looking utterly furious to exist at all.
"I did NOT consent to this!" the tiny potions master sneered.
Unfortunately for Mini Snape, things were about to get much, much worse.
๐๐ก๐๐ฉ๐ญ๐๐ซ ๐๐ก๐ซ๐๐: ๐๐ก๐ ๐๐ข๐ฌ๐ ๐จ๐ ๐๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐๐ง๐๐ฉ๐
Through means beyond logic, a Mini Death Eater Army was forged. They were loyal, incompetent, and entirely devoted to Mini Snape, whom they now worshipped as their true Dark Lord.
The real Severus Snape awoke the next morning to find them bowing before him in his dungeon classroom, chanting his name.
The students arrived for Potions, only to find tiny masked figures aggressively declaring Snape's supremacy. Draco Malfoy gaped in horror as the Mini Death Eaters saluted.
"BEHOLD, OUR TRUE MASTER!" they proclaimed, forcing Snape into an existential crisis on the spot.
But this was only the beginning.
Mini Dumbledore soon appeared, declaring Snape's 'Rise to Power' a national event. The Daily Prophet ran the front-page headline: "LORD SNAPE RISES โ THE TRUE DARK LORD!"
Then came the Ministry's emergency meeting, where Cornelius Fudge fainted three times in succession.
Then, the Hogwarts Snape Fan Club formed, with first-years selling "We Snape" badges in the corridors.
Then, a Cease and Desist Letter was sent to Voldemort, ordering him to stop calling himself the Dark Lord.
By the time Voldemort sat in Malfoy Manor, reading "SNAPE'S CORONATION ANNOUNCED! PUBLIC EVENT โ TICKETS NOW AVAILABLE!", his hands trembled with rage.
Then he read the fine print:
"Voldemort Expected to Attend. Official Seating Arranged Next to Lucius Malfoy."
Voldemort's sanity shattered.
๐๐ก๐๐ฉ๐ญ๐๐ซ ๐ ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ: ๐๐ก๐ ๐๐จ๐ซ๐จ๐ง๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐จ๐ ๐๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐๐ง๐๐ฉ๐
The Great Hall was transformed into a grand ceremonial chamber. Enchanted banners read "ALL HAIL LORD SNAPE" in glowing letters.
Severus Snape was forcibly escorted to his throne, glaring daggers at the Mini Death Eaters throwing flower petals at his feet.
Mini Dumbledore descended from above, holding the sparkling Crown of Supremacy.
"Severus Snape, you have been chosen by fate. Kneel before your destiny."
"I will NOT kneelโ"
Mini Death Eaters tackled him to his knees.
The crown was placed upon his head.
The crowd exploded into cheers.
Magical trumpets blared. Fireworks exploded. The Sorting Hat burst into song.
Voldemort, standing at the entrance, looked utterly broken. He sighed, signed the surrender papers, and handed over his wand in defeat.
Snape, gripping his throne, whispered:
"This is my nightmare."
๐๐ก๐๐ฉ๐ญ๐๐ซ ๐ ๐ข๐ฏ๐: ๐ ๐๐ข๐๐ญ๐จ๐ซ๐ฒ ๐๐ญ๐๐ซ๐ง๐๐ฅ
To the roaring cheers of Diagon Alley, Snape was paraded through the sky on a Thestral-drawn chariot.
Below, wizards and witches lined the streets, throwing flowers, chanting his name, and waving Snape-shaped balloons.
Somewhere, in the depths of Knockturn Alley, Voldemort sat in a dark booth, drinking cheap firewhiskey.
"I used to be feared," he muttered, staring at a "Snape Rules!" poster.
Lucius Malfoy awkwardly patted his back.
"There, there, My Lord."
A Mini Death Eater suddenly appeared beside them.
"Snape says hello."
Voldemort let out one long, broken scream.
๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ฅ๐จ๐ ๐ฎ๐: ๐๐ง๐๐ฉ๐'๐ฌ ๐๐ญ๐๐ซ๐ง๐๐ฅ ๐๐๐ข๐ ๐ง
Snape was officially recognized as the Supreme Dark Lord.
The Wizarding World now celebrates "Snape Day" as a national holiday.
Snape had no way out. He was doomed to be worshipped forever.
Voldemort never emotionally recovered.
And thus, the world fell to Snape's accidental supremacy.
MISSION: COMPLETE.