The year of Games 32
It was a waste of a perfectly good Saturday.
That was what Castiel thought as their Mom insisted on driving them over to the school. They stared out the window with arms crossed as they watched the building come closer and closer into view.
The sixteen-year-old had cheeks puffed out in a true pout as their Mom slowed down toward the auditorium entrance. "Mom, please. This was all a misunderstanding, you see." They gave their most winningest smile, pulling in their cheeks to show her the dimples they inherited from her. "I didn't do anything wrong."
"That's not what your teacher said," said Mom, giving them a very stern look in the mirror before she just sighed. "Look, Castiel…" She shook her head a little bit. "I know that this… Language thing is important to you. But not everyone else is going to see it that way. When you say things other people don't understand, they're always going to assume the worst."
"I know, Mami, but por favor," Castiel said, clasping their hands together. "Don't make me goooooooo. I could have said something nice, nobody even knew what I said!"
Mami gave them a look in the mirror.
"What did you say?"
Castiel looked away from her piercing gaze and gave a nervous chuckle. "I mean, I said she was a stupid bitch, but there was no way for her to know that!"
"Yep," said Mom, shutting off the car and pointing at their door. "Out. Or should I say… Afuera."
"Oh, muy bien Mami!" Castiel said quickly, clapping their hands together. "Te amo Mami!" That sweet smile came back at its fullest for her, but she wasn't buying it.
"Uh huh. Look, Cas, It's either this one day of after-school service or a detention that goes on your record and prevents you from getting into the good Universities in the Capitol. And I know you don't know what you want to do yet, but you just don't want to lose your options."
"Well I do know what I want to do," Cas grumbled under their breath, but they knew it wasn't realistic. Aye yay yay.
"Alright, chico, out of the car now, you don't want to be late. And… Actually do try to help."
"Yes, yes Mami," Castiel said, taking their lunchbag and opening the door before leaning back in to give her a kiss on the cheek anyway. They looked at their Spanish book – one of very few left over after the Dark Days and their prized possession, before deciding to leave it in the car with her where they knew it would be safe – that thing had been almost confiscated way too many times to count. "I get to drive home, si? Por favor, Mami!"
"Yes, you can get some driving hours in after you do your service to the school community. And just… Try to keep the Spanish thing on the down low, okay?"
"Si si, I don't want to do this again," Cas said with a bit of a sour face as they got out of the car and closed the door, holding onto their lunchbag as they went into the auditorium. Thankfully only the students that had committed small and nonviolent crimes were able to opt-in to this program and they didn't have to worry about any terribly unsavory characters. When they saw the stage floor covered with a canvas and stacks of newspapers and buckets there, they figured maybe this wasn't the worst thing in the world. Definitely beat sitting in detention for sure.
"Aha, there's the last one," said the teacher in charge as Cas came to the front where they saw two other students in the seats. One had fiery orange and red hair put up in a high ponytail and bright eyes and the other was much more refined – hair a dark purple and eyes a deep midnight blue. "Have a seat, Castiel."
"Oh, grac- I mean, thank you," they said, sitting down and looking at the other two.
"Alright, today you three are in for service hours to make up for your misbehavior earlier in the week. Which will be in the form of some help making paper mache trees for our theater program. Look, this can be nice and easy as long as you do your best and have a good attitude. Alright? I know that you aren't bad kids." She looked at the three of them with a small smile. "Just made some bad decisions."
Cas could have debated that but they chose not to, just keeping the smile on their face.
"We're of course more than willing to help," said the boy on the end.
"I know you are Julio," the teacher said, looking at him for a moment. "Just keep the gum at home."
"Ahhhh," Cas said, before giving a winning smile when the teacher looked over at them. "Right." So that was the kid that was selling gum at school and had created himself an empire. Wow, finally got caught, huh? "Before you ask, my crime is speaking Spanish in school when people couldn't understand it."
"Wait, you know another language?!" the girl sitting in the seats asked, looking over at them. "I've only ever heard about that."
"Yeah," Cas said proudly, before looking at the teacher. "I mean, un poco. Er, a little," they said with a nervous laugh. But thankfully she didn't seem to mind too much as she was going to the stage to get the big jugs of glue to mix in with the water in the buckets.
"Wow, that's cool," she said. "Hi, I'm Zoey," she said. "I got busted for sneaking a calling card into Bundren's locker and my Dad just wanted to pawn me off here so he could bring his girlfriend over."
"Did you say Bundren?!" the boy called Julio asked as he stared at her. "Girl that boy is a senior!"
"And I'm a sophomore," she said with a shrug. "He was being a bully."
"The one with the magazine clippings? I heard he was scared shitless at that," Cas said as they held out a hand to help her up the stairs, then laughing nervously when the teacher cleared her throat. "I am so sorry."
"Just don't say that too loud," she said with a small chuckle herself. "I hope you don't mind getting your hands dirty."
"Oh of course we don't, God forbid the theater leads get their little hands dirty," Zoey said, truly shameless as she took off her jacket to reveal an old T-shirt and looked at the shabby wire frame. "Oh now this won't do." She went to start fixing it up and straighten it right away.
"I'm glad she knows what she's doing, because I don't," Julio said, looking at her hard at work on the frame structure as Cas shrugged off their jacket as well and was glad they were told in advance to wear work clothes.
"Oh, me neither, I've never had an eye for those things." Cas was just amused as she got It straightened to her liking.
"Alright, look alive boys!"
"Ahem, I am not, what you call, a boy," Cas said lazily, giving her a smile. "I am a they."
"Either way, look alive!" she said, stubbornly pulling the bucket of glue and water over and not even hesitating to grab a piece of newspaper and put it in.
"Y-You can brush it!" said the teacher.
"No way, that looks way more fun!" Cas said right away as they hurried over to join her, and Julio took a brush when he went over to join them. The teacher went to sit on her chair and just supervise, which she was obviously taking so seriously as she had her computer up and was sipping her coffee from a thermos, laughing a little bit at a funny social media post.
"If we weren't in not-detention right now, I would get your hands dirty," Zoey said to Julio as he was brushing a piece onto the frame.
"Yeah, let's not make a mess and get real detention," Julio said, looking at her for a moment and then at Cas. "My parents would kill me for being the delinquent brother."
Cas laughed, but slowly frowned when they looked over and saw that it… Wasn't really a joke. Oh. Right.
"But you are probably the rich brother," Zoey commented, pouting when Cas put a piece on wrong and moving it back. "What was the mark-up on those gum pieces?"
"Oh I was makin' more than three times the cost," Julio said with a chuckle before he cleared his throat when the teacher looked up. "But it was very wrong."
"Uh huh," Cas said with a toothy grin. "So wrong. Just like it was so wrong to say something other people can't understand. A mistake I will surely never make again."
"So how did you even learn another language anyway?" Julio asked as he put a piece up at the top before an indignant Zoey cleared her throat and he sighed and put it on the trunk.
"I have…" Cas lowered their voice. "Un libro." They bounced their eyebrows. "A book."
"Aha," Julio said, as he obviously didn't think they were really the type to… Read.
"I don't have anything cool about my crime," Zoey said with a shrug. "My mom is just obsessed with fashion magazines and I guess I just really like glue and paper." She gave a grin, with dimples cute enough to rival Cas's, and put her hands behind her back for just a moment before going back to work. "Right here," she added under her breath to Cas with another gluey piece of newspaper.
"Well I'm glad you do, because I don't," said Julio, making a bit of a face as he was just brushing glue onto the paper. "I know I'm wearing work clothes, but my Dad will still get mad if I come home with glue all over them."
"Gross," Zoey said, shaking her head and making a face. "You're never gonna be fulfilled until you just… Jump right in! You know that?"
"Just roll up your sleeves and lie, they'll never know," Cas said, giving him finger guns as the glue dripped off of their hands and onto their pants. "Oh goddammit." They pointed at him. "Not like that."
"Uh huh…" said Julio with a small sigh. "That's not…" …really my thing. But he looked at the glue he was brushing on, which had already covered part of his hands anyway.
"You can do it," Zoey said, a particular twinkle in her eye as she looked up at him with a grin on her face. "Come on, Julio."
Julio looked at her for a moment, and then smiled back just a little bit before he thrust his hands into the mess of glue and water to the cheers of the others.
Jump right in.
Maybe that thought wasn't… Totally terrible after all.
…
The year of Games 37
"Ow! You're pulling!"
"Lo siento, lo siento, calm down for me, mmkay?" The bobby pins shook a little bit in Castiel's hands as they had a few between their teeth.
"How can I be calm!?" she asked as Cas took a curl between their fingers and put a pin in it. "I'm going to a college dance." She looked at herself in the mirror and whined when she didn't like how her lashes sat on her eyelids. "Nooooo!" She leaned forward to fix them quickly.
"Yeah, that all beats me," Cas said with a chuckle. "I mean, it's just Julio."
"It is not just Julio, Castiel," she said, giving them a look in the mirror. Ugh, this stupid idiot, she could tell by the look in their eyes that they knew things she didn't! And it wasn't fair! "Come on. You know him, I know him, you probably already know from the source what he's thinking and you're leaving your best friend in the dark!"
Cas chuckled heartily at that and she knew she was right! "Yeah," they confessed with a laugh. "Must suck to not have a single clue what he is preparing for if this date goes well," they said as they made one hand into a circle and thrust their pointer finger in and out of it a few times. "No idea," they said lazily.
"You think!?" Zoey asked, her eyes getting wide as she clawed at her cheeks. Well, that was a little obvious by how nervous he was around her lately but she still wasn't sure! And Castiel was being no help! "Aghhhh!"
"You're gonna be saying that later," Cas said under their breath with a laugh.
"Castiel!" Zoey said, turning to smack their arm a little bit. "Can you just be nice to me, I'm freakin' out here!?"
"Why? Because you think he's spent his first few years of college running around sleeping with all them college girls? No seas estúpida, por favor."
"Well…" Zoey said, before just pouting a little bit. She was afraid because despite how confident she was, she was still a virgin at fucking nineteen! How pathetic was that!? She didn't want him to laugh at her… "Yeah," she grumbled a little bit.
"Just don't overthink this okay?" Cas asked, before laughing at their own joke because of course she was going to overthink this. Just like he was overthinking this.
"Yeah right," Zoey said, shaking her head because anxiety was a bitch and they knew this about her. "I just hope that I'm good enough."
"Oh, don't go down this rabbit hole, you'll never come if you are thinking like this too much!" Cas said, and Zoey just shook her head because of course all of this was easy for them. "Of course you're going to be good enough. No offense, but I feel like a wet cooch and real tits are more than enough for him. Much less the fine tits you've got."
"Don't stare," Zoey said, crossing her arms over them. She was saving them! And this was going to be it.
"Hey, I'm just saying, you make me wish I hadn't cut mine off sometimes," laughed Cas before they just reached over to knick her chin a little bit. "Alright, he's going to be pulling up any minute. It's good, I told him I was going to be your overprotective parental-figure already so we know what our roles are."
"Don't embarrass me," Zoey said, wanting to just… Melt a little bit when Cas said that with that stupid look in their eyes. That was a look of just trouble. But she knew that there was no stopping them when they were on like this. At least it was just Julio and they could laugh together about how dumb their friend was on the way to the dance.
"Oh of course, I won't," Cas said, but Zoey didn't believe them for a moment. When they heard the knock on the door of Cas's apartment (funded in part by their parents), Zoey jumped and put a hand on her heart. Oh was this too much skin? She dragged Cas along to shop with her for a dress and she just knew that Julio dragged them with him to shop for clothes. She was suddenly so unsure, but she regretted the moment of hesitation because it gave Cas the chance to go get it.
"Hey Cas," said Julio with a wave. Zoey felt her heart picking up in speed right away at how nice he looked. He was all of a sudden not their goofy friend, but an insanely attractive man that she was going to a dance with and she felt… Very very intimidated.
"That's Mx. Daddy Bellevue to you," Cas said, putting on a very stern face.
Julio just stared at them for a moment before realizing that they were serious about this. "You're fucking weird." He tried to push past them but they blocked his way through.
"You gotta call me Mx. Daddy Bellevue to pass!" Cas said loudly, laughing when Julio tried to push past them and was outmatched because he was a scrawny nerd!
"Castiel, please," Zoey said, putting her face in her hands. They were just so… Weird.
"No, my darling daughter, I must do this!" Cas said loudly.
"Alright alright, we're gonna be late,' Julio said, and he was never the one to fight so he sighed. "Mx. Daddy Bellevue, please let me reach my date tonight."
Cas laughed hearing him say it and grinned at the blush on his cheeks as they opened their arm to let him through. "Oh that was so worth it!"
"Yep," Julio said, looking to give Zoey a look before he stopped and his heart dropped to his stomach and he felt the thumping in his chest. "Oh." She looked gorgeous.
"Hola," Zoey said with a grin.
"Oh muy bien chica," Cas said in the background.
"Hi," Julio said, crossing over to her. She looked like a damn princess in that gown and it made him even more sure that this was going to be the night. "Wow."
"Yeah," giggled Zoey. "Me too. I mean, wow to you too," she added quickly with a dimpley smile.
"Now you treat my daughter well tonight, young man," said Cas, and the two of them cringed a little bit at the moment being interrupted.
"Oh of course," Zoey said, giving Cas a bit of a look. "Let's go. You ready?"
"Yep." Julio put out an arm to her and Zoey giggled as she took it and held it a little tight, just wanting to be close to him right now.
"Alright, you two," Cas said, noticing that they weren't really interested in their games and just wanted to get moving. So they dropped the act, just giving them a smile. "Have fun. Whatever happens." They would be okay. "You can fight over who gets to have lunch with me first to give me the tea."
"Oh, I'm sure we will," Zoey laughed, going over to them. "Thanks for your help with getting ready. I know those buttons were a bitch." She kissed their cheek. "Have a good night, Cas."
"Yeah, you have a good one, buddy," said Julio, going over to lightly punch their chest. "Thank you for everything."
Cas grinned and got the door for them. "Careful now. Be safe! At least text me when you're in for the night, okay?"
"We'll be sure to," Julio said, as was tradition for the group of friends.
"I'll forget," Zoey said, giggling as she moved closer to him. "But he'll remember!"
"Alright!" Cas said, grinning as they saw them out. They just wanted the best for their friends and grinned. They hoped it would be good for the both of them and they were anxious to get the tea later!
"Remember. Sometimes you gotta just jump right in!"
…
Hot chocolate and a shoulder-gecko.
No better way to spend the night. Cas was relaxed and feelin' pretty good as their coffee maker poured in the cup of mix – far too lazy to make it with milk even if it was better that way. They checked their phone every once in a while, just until they got the text from those two little lovebirds that they were in. Once they got that, they could finally rest. Thankfully it was just around eleven when the text came in, and Cas felt they could go to bed in peace. They honestly were surprised that the text was early – but they could finally get some rest.
They put Reggie back in his tank, the leopard gecko chirping a little bit when Cas picked him up and put him in the tank. Oh yes. They were anxious to do some reading before going to sleep. They sipped their hot chocolate as they read through their Spanish book. Every time they did they found different little details about the language that they missed on the previous run-throughs. Every once in a while they would mark something in the book that they wanted to go back to practice a little later when Julio or Mami was around to help them practice. Teaching them all Spanish was Cas's true passion. Mom was pushing them to start searching for what they might like to do otherwise and they just didn't know yet.
Sure, they had a little interest in art, they had a little interest in sciences, but not like Julio-levels of smart. And thankfully their parents didn't put pressure on them to choose a direction in life quite yet, unlike Julio who was shoved into a prestigious school by his folks way too fast to follow in his brother's footsteps. Zoey only knew her Dad and he was not at all helpful with anything, nor did he care what she did. Fucked up family dynamics. Hopefully he would finally get a fucking win tonight. And when Cas thought fucking, they meant it.
The hot chocolate was way too hot so Cas set it to the side, burying their nose back in the book. They were really close to being fluent, at least as much as they could in this book – and had acquired a dictionary with the two languages to help them understand a little more about the language. Their prized possessions. They were disturbed all of a sudden by the door buzzer, and jumped out of their skin. Fuck they hated when someone did the buzzer. Like, just leave it outside!
…Wait, what?
Cas jumped up, suddenly full of a terrible feeling. They checked their phone again, and no, they did get the text that the couple was back in for the night. Then what was going on? They hurried to the door quickly and pulled it open, worried something terrible had happened.
"Cas!" Zoey giggled a little bit. Her hair was a mess and her dress was not buttoned – she was holding it over her breasts and dragging the rest of her gown behind her.
"Wow," Cas said, staring at her and then looking over at the man beside her who was wearing his dress shirt half undone with… Gym shorts. "Wow, you two look, uh…"
"Please let me come in," Julio begged him. He was not wearing underwear under his shorts and he felt extremely uncomfortable.
"Oh yeah, of course," Cas said, stepping to the side. "I… Am confused, I didn't think I'd be seeing you. Just couldn't wait for the tea, huh?" they asked with a laugh as Julio slipped in real quick and Zoey behind him. Cas closed the door and when they turned back around they saw she'd let her dress slip. "Woah! Hey now!" They slapped a hand over their eyes. Ugh, they wanted that hot chocolate and their book.
"Oh sorry," laughed Zoey a little bit, pulling it back up but she was still looking at them.
"So…" Cas said, looking at the two of them and… Confused. "What's… Going… On?"
"So… Our date was terrible," said Julio, looking at Zoey for a moment.
"We didn't fuck," said Zoey, shaking her head.
Cas stared at them, confused because words and actions were not matching up right now. The math was not mathing. "I'm sorry. I…" Don't know what you want me to do about it.
"It was weird, Cas!" Zoey whined, flopping down on the floor.
"Hey, nothing wrong with that," Cas said, looking at the two of them. "Sometimes people are better as friends."
"It was weird because you weren't there, No seas estúpido, por favor."
"Oh now that's a big ask," laughed Cas, but they couldn't help but grin at Julio speaking in Spanish. "Oh muy bien though."
"They missed it because you were speaking Spanish," Zoey said with a pout as she put her hands on her hips.
"Yeah I got that," Julio complained a little bit as his cheeks got red.
"He said it was weird because you weren't there."
Cas blinked a few times. "Huh?"
"Look Cas," Julio said, before he put his face in his hands and groaned. "Why me?" he said into his hands.
"No go ahead," Zoey said, putting her cheeks in her hands and looking at him.
"Well look. You know we do everything together."
"Si."
"So like. It's weird doing things with you not there."
"Si."
"Okay. So…"
Cas tilted their head to the side. "Que?"
"Me rindo."
"Oh, muy bien Señor." Cas grinned.
"Como se dice, I just want to not be a virgin anymore and you're being stupid about it?!" Zoey asked finally.
"Oh, you would say…" Cas rubbed their chin. "Quiero… No, solo quiero… Er…"
"Alright, we tried it your way," Zoey said, giving Julio a look before she just dropped her gown and stepped out of it, going over to Cas and pushing down their feet to the floor to crawl up on their lap, grabbing their cheeks and leaning in to shut them up with her lips.
"Wait, I wasn't done!" said Cas, a little muffled by her squeezing their cheeks and aggressively pushing her lips on theirs to stop them from moving.
"Figure it out later," Zoey said. "Kiss me now." She pulled up on their PJ shirt a little bit to press her tits against their bare skin and pushed their resisting hands to her lower back.
"Woah, haha," said Cas, but that did shut them up and replace their words with a hiss as they felt themself quickly growing wet. "Mm," they said, quickly growing more earnest because being the weird directionless Spanish kid, they did not get kissed often. "Hey," they said when she pulled back to touch their sides and rock her hips on their lap. "Woah, lo siento amigo, I did not mean for oh okay then," they stammered when they noticed the tent presenting itself in his gym shorts and the bit of a wet spot. "Dios mío."
"We do everything together," Zoey said. "We didn't want to do this not together."
"Okay, you were right, that worked much better than trying to talk to them about it," said Julio with a small laugh.
"You talked about me?" Cas asked, looking at the two of them for a moment. "You were supposed to be running around dancing and having a great time without me and having a first time, I mean."
"Yeah we danced a little bit," Zoey said with a small grin at Julio who was now the one that wasn't really in a talking mood as he was rubbing himself through his shorts. "Ran around a little I guess but we weren't really having fun so we decided to go home and see if we'd have more fun there. And we didn't really."
"I mean…" Julio shrugged. "Pretty much. It's not really a great time without you. Guess we figured it out the hard way, huh?"
"But it's not too late to have a great time and a first time," Zoey said, grinning at them. "You game yet or does he actually have to try?" she asked, looking at Julio who was really struggling, and laughed a little bit.
Cas looked at them, their heart starting to pick up a little bit – mostly because of the bare titties and eye contact with that boner. "I… I mean…" they said, for once a little speechless, and just a little tiny bit worried that they were spoiling a special moment for their friends. "I didn't mean to infringe…"
"Get on 'em," Zoey said, tsking and shaking her head as she rolled over to sprawl out on the couch.
"If you're sure," Julio said, and he did not look sure as he was the cautious one but he was also gonna riot if he didn't get laid so he went over to sit above Cas on their lap and take their cheeks to get them to look up at him. "Cálla y bésame, mmkay?"
"Oh-" said Cas, but they let out a shuddering breath when they were tasting his lips, groaning a little bit at his Spanish.
"I knew that would work," Zoey laughed as she had a hand in her panties. "You have a vibe, right?"
"Si," said Cas, a little bit muffled by his lips as their eyes slid shut. His kisses were so sure and his hips were so warm. They were right. It felt weird to be there by themself knowing those two were out there and they were involved in every single step – from Julio asking, to Zoey trying to decide if she should agree, to choosing the outfits and the panicked confiding about being unsure if this was the right time or decision… This was a much different feeling than their vibe. It was a feeling for just a moment that they were desirable to someone. They were just the weird Spanish kid, they never felt like that before… When Julio got off of them and slapped their thigh a little bit and Zoey got up to join him, they stared for a moment. "Are you sure?" they asked a little breathlessly, staring at Julio's sure eyes, and looking at Zoey's tits – er, face.
"Don't overthink it," Zoe said to them, digging her thumb a little bit on their clit through their PJ shorts. "You'll never come if you think like this too much."
"Ah!" Cas looked at her for a moment, at both of their outstretched hands, and gave a nervous little laugh. Their heart was pounding in their chest as things just seemed to click into place for them. Who got them like Zoey and Julio? …Nobody. Who made them feel this way? …Nobody else. "I just… This could ruin our lives if it crashes and burns." Who knew what Julio's parents were gonna say?! Cas wasn't worried about their own parents of course but still this had so much potential to explode and…
"You just gotta jump in."
Cas stared at Julio who smiled at him and they could feel themself grin back as they took the outstretched hands and was sent in a bit of a frenzy of a race to their bedroom.
That hot chocolate was definitely going to have to wait now.
…
The year of Games 45
Thank God they were done with another day. They were really getting frustrated with this train attendant job and were this close to quitting, but at least it was done for today and would become tomorrow's problem.
Cas was mumbling curses in Spanish under their breath as they pulled into the driveway of the nice house they shared – their debts to the Bellevue parents all repaid at this point with Julio's ritzy Games job on the event coordinating team with Zo's work on the production team while Cas was picking up… Something to try and help contribute.
But they hated it. And the partners both begged them to quit, but they were holding out and hoping that an opportunity would come knocking…
They took one more deep breath before opening the door.
"Padre!" Gabriel came running as soon as he heard the door – smart boy knew the routine by now. And was also obviously more than willing to ditch his homework in favor of greeting his biological parent. "Hola! Hola!"
"Hola hijo," Cas said, immediately feeling better seeing him there and patting his head. "You been a bueno chico?"
"Of course!" Gabriel said, putting a hand on his chest like his father in offense at the insinuation that he wouldn't be.
"Padre, look padre!" Five-year-old Faye came running over with her dolly in hand to show off to them just as they always did. It was easy to tell that she came out of Zoey with how energetic she was constantly.
"Wow, your dolly is looking beautiful!" Cas said as their other biological child Antonia was coming to be part of things. At the age of 4 she often wanted to look at dolly as well and Cas put her up on their hip when she came over.
"And so is Miss Antonia," they said as they gave their daughter a kiss. "Where's Mama?"
"Here as always." Zoey was standing in the doorway with a few flowers tied with a ribbon. "Always happy to see Dad home from work," she said, going over to them and kissing their cheek.
"Padre!" giggled Faye. "Silly Mama."
"Mama is sure being silly," chuckled Cas as they took the flowers from her. "Thank you darling." It never got old getting flowers from her, every day when they got home from work she was always waiting for them with flowers. And yet she also always found some for Julio too. "How's Mama?" they asked, kissing her forehead.
"Good," she said, but Cas didn't buy it. Postpartum was really kicking her ass after the birth of their last baby. But she was in therapy for her depression and getting treatment.
"Well Padre is here now," they said quickly, kissing her forehead. "So mama can go take a nap before feeding time."
"Yeah," said Zoey with a small smile.
"How was Adam?"
"Oh, he's a good boy," said Zoey as the kids went off to play and get back to homework time. "Oh, he did the funniest thing this morning," she said. "I was just coming into his room… Or I was leaving… Wait," she said, shaking her head just a little bit. "Okay, so I was leaving his room and he made the cutest little noise. It was like…" She impersonated the baby's chirp and started laughing.
Cas laughed with her. "Oh, he's going to be talking before we even know it," they said proudly. "You gonna let Dada get this one since Faye said Mama first?" Cas admittedly let Julio have both of their kids' first word, just because they knew he worked so hard and wished he was around more often for them. And they knew that despite how terrible his parents were, it was difficult for him to drop the Villanueva name. At least his brother was there to keep the lineage alive, but Cas hated him and his stupid kid.
"Oh, no way, I want two for two!" Zoey said, and that competitive spark was back in her eyes. That always made Cas feel so much better. She was getting treatment and was going to get better.
"Of course," Cas said with a laugh, knowing that Julio would let her have it because he loved her so much. He loved both of them so much, really, and when he was around he was such a good Dad.
"How was your work?" she asked, turning to gesture them in and kicking a toy, almost tipping on it and just barely catching herself.
"Woah, mi amor, careful," Cas laughed. "Antonia! Faye! Come clean up your toys!"
"Yes padre!" the girls said, racing each other to come in and help as Cas took Zoey's hand. Once they were running back, Cas put their arms around her, swaying her a few times until they got a smile out of her. "There's that beautiful smile," they said, leaning into give her a kiss. "Pretty girl. God, I'm sorry you feel like this. The kids are going to see Abuelo and Abuela this weekend," they said decidedly, just able to see she needed some time. "I'll get their overnight stuff packed."
"I can help," she said, her eyes filling with tears and she sniffed a little bit.
"Oh no no," Cas said, frowning and feeling helpless for her. It was going to get better. "No crying, sweet girl. Tomorrow, they're going, and I'm taking off of work. My parents will be thrilled."
"No, Cas-"
"Yes, Cas," they said decidedly, smiling at her and kissing her forehead. "Let's get those dimples out for Dad when he gets home to get him to use that PTO."
"He's so busy-"
"Oh come on," Cas said, shaking their head. "One day ain't gonna kill him, and he knows that deep down, we just gotta pull that out of him. You, me, him, and a movie marathon with popcorn and chocolate and whatever Mama wants because she's so important to us."
"I'm sorry," she said, shaking her head. "I'm trying… I just… Feel so… Sad all the time!" she said irritably and Cas just looked earnestly into her face.
"I know," they said. "And it'll get better because you have us. Okay? You go sit in the bedroom and take a nap, Padre will get the homework done and bath time started by the time Daddy gets home from work."
"Okay," Zoey said quietly. "Thanks Cas. I love you."
"I love you too," they said, happy to have made her feel better.
"Before you do…" She said, holding up a piece of paper. "This came in the mail for you. It's… From the Gamemaking Design school."
"Aha, I've been waiting for this," they said, suddenly nervous as they took the paper. This was going to influence where they went next… "Remember? Just jump in?" They waved the paper. "I took a shot."
"Oh," Zoey said, looking at the letter and blinking in shock. "A…Are you going to open it?"
"Maybe I should wait for Julio." Cas thought about it, but they didn't want him to be there for this if it was a rejection. They still felt a little inferior to him because he was so well-accomplished and Cas was… So not. "Ah, nah!"
"Okay," Zoey said, handing them the letter. "You… Want to go to school there?"
"Maybe," Cas said. "But let's see." They ripped the envelope a little haphazardly in their nerves, despite trying to pretend they didn't care about it as Zoey just watched them. "Whoopsies."
"Maybe I should do that," Zoey said, managing a laugh as she took it from their shaking hands and pulled the paper out for them. "It's going to be okay, Cas," she said, looking into their face, and she held their cheeks to give them a little kiss. "I didn't know this was your dream but I support you."
"I don't know if it's the dream yet," Cas said, trying to sound casual, but it was more than obvious that they cared more than they let on.
"Uh huh." She pulled open the envelope and had to hold the paper together where it was flopping a little bit so she could read the text.
"Well?" Cas asked, wincing a little bit, covering their face with their fingers while trying not to smudge the temporary black tattoo that shrouded half of their face in blackness. They pushed back white hair and eyes, one purple and one yellow, peeking out at her through them.
Zoey put the letter down for a moment. "Congratulations, Castiel." She turned the letter to show them the acceptance.
"Que?!" Cas asked, picking up the paper and gasping a little bit as their heart started to pound. Maybe this was the dream after all… "No way."
"Way!" Zoey said, grinning at them and that smile that lit up her face was incredible. "I can't believe this Cas! This is amazing!"
"I… Wow, I guess I might be going to Gamemaker school," they said with a small grin. "And just try to figure out if maybe this is for me. Because no offense but standing on a train being nice to people ain't it."
"Yeah!" Zoey said with a grin. "Okay we have to tell Julio to get champagne, or something, or or or…" Her happiness was priceless, and Cas was over the moon grinning.
"Let me worry about that," they said, because they wanted her to stay happy and not get sad again. "You just go lay down for a little bit. Okay?"
"I'm too excited!" Zoey said, putting her hands on her hips. "When have we ever not surprised Julio together, eh Cas?!" she asked, slapping their back and Cas grinned at her. The Zoey they knew truly was in there somewhere. And if this was what was going to bring it out of her… They would do anything for that.
She just grinned at them. "Look alive, they! Come on. We have a lot of work to do to really make his jaw hit the floor!
…
The year of Games 49
It was done. They had officially finished their last final and they were so happy it was over. They really flourished in Gamemaking school – their creativity combined with a quick wit and great stage presence made them a quick favorite of their professors and advisor. And now they had put in their last grade, and it was now officially in the hands of the board whether they certified Cas, and more importantly, whether they wrote them a recommendation to be part of the Gamemaking team. They were still a little nervous about that but at least their part was done – no more late night studying after putting the kids to bed. And of course they could finally go back to brushing up on their Spanish.
Cas got home, as usual, and took a deep breath. Back to parenthood. Back to family. They loved their family, they really did.
They put their key in the door and turned it, humming a little bit to themself as they turned the knob and pushed the door open.
No Gabe. In fact when they got inside, the house was… Quiet. That was weird. Cas chuckled a little bit. What was going on? Zoey and Julio knew it was their last final and they weren't all that surprised that she was going to do something special for it. "Now where's my Zoey?" they asked.
"Nowhere," she said, coming over with a huge lily just for them and smiling. It was one of the biggest flowers they had ever seen and they grinned as they went over to look at it and smell its fair aroma. "Wow, this is beautiful!" they said with a grin as they took it from her to set down before taking her in a tight hug. "Thank you Mama. Speaking of, it's so quiet in the house!"
"The kids are with Padre," she said with a grin.
Cas blinked at her. "You mean Abuelo?"
"Oh yeah," she said. "Abuelo and Abuela's." She giggled a little bit but Cas could see that it was frustrating to her.
"We need to change your meds," Cas said, because sometimes they could barely even make out what she was saying. It slowed her down and made her a little bit like a zombie. "Let's just stay in English."
"Oh, sure," Zoey said with a smile, but Cas saw something different. What was different?
"Congratulations!"
Cas immediately lit up when he heard that familiar voice and ran over to give Julio a big hug.
"Well look who it is!" they said, squeezing him tightly with a grin. "Taking some of that PTO!"
"You know I had to," Julio said with a chuckle, burying his face in their hair. "You're done! How do you feel?"
"I'm so relieved," laughed Cas with a grin. "Now it's up to the head honchos if they write me a letter of rec so it's out of my hands now. Wow, you guys cleaned and everything."
"Julio can't just take a day off," Zoey said, giving Cas a look who returned it before they both started laughing.
"You silly man," Cas said with a laugh and an eye roll. But of course he would take his PTO to fucking clean the house while they waited for Cas to be done with their final. "We just know you too well."
"We all know each other too well," said Julio with a laugh, before his eyes grew heavy and Cas's heart fell once more.
"Uh oh," they said with a nervous laugh. "Everyone's still alive and you're not divorcing me, right?"
"Yes," said Zoey with a short laugh as she gave them a kiss. "We could never divorce you."
"Yeah, and the kids haven't strangled each other yet," Julio said with a chuckle as they went into the living room where there was already a cup of hot chocolate sitting on the coffee table waiting for them.
"Oh wow, you two sure are prepared," laughed Cas, before checking on Reggie the gecko and then slowly sitting down, taking a sip. "Even made it with milk."
"You know Julio always gives way more than he should," Zoey said with a laugh as she sunk down on the couch and looked away and Julio sighed softly as he sat down across from Castiel.
"Yeah," Cas said, sipping the hot chocolate. "Job? Hopefully I'll be makin' the big cheese soon."
"So…" Julio looked at Zoey.
"You say it," she said. "Please."
"Look Cas," Julio said, before he put his face in his hands and sighed. "Why me?" he whispered into his hands. "I'm sorry for even waiting a little bit to tell you. We just knew you were so focused on your finals and wanted you to ace them all like we know you could, and not get weighed down."
"Alright, you two are scaring me," Cas said, looking at them with a nervous laugh to hide how fucking scared they were.
Julio's glasses misted up with tears and Cas realized something was really wrong when they saw that. Zoey started crying softly.
"I'm so sorry," she cried a little bit.
"I… What?" Cas asked, staring at the two of them.
"I tested positive for the Huntington's gene." Zoey spoke up first as more tears formed quickly in her eyes.
"The what?" Cas said, their gaze fixed on her immediately.
"It's a genetic disease," Julio said, trying to be strong as Zoe just muttered apologies over and over again into her hands. "It affects the brain. The nerves in the brain attack themselves and break down over time."
Cas stared at Zoey for a moment, unable to believe that… That was happening to their girl!
"I finally got it out of Dad," she said softly. "Why he and my Mom split, and I never knew her. It was because she had it too. And passed it on to me." And the unspoken truth that she could have passed it on to her kids… "I knew that something was wrong with me after Adam. It wasn't just post-partum, so… I started making appointments when I could and eventually Julio found out because I just needed someone to watch the kids…" She sniffled and sputtered as her tears hit her lap. "I couldn't do it all alone. But we agreed that we just… Couldn't steal away your dream for this and didn't want you to quit on school because of me…"
"I would have. I should have. How the hell did I not know!?" Cas asked, staring at her, and at Julio, and feeling so betrayed. "I should have been there for those tests. I should have been in the room when you found out. Our vows were made to put each other before everything! You think I wouldn't do that?!" they asked, tears pouring out of their eyes as they just stared at their partners.
"I know," Zoey said quietly with a small sob as her voice was so high-pitched it was practically squeaking out. "I knew you would, Cas… That's why I couldn't tell you and make you do that. It was me that begged him to not tell you, just be mad at me, hate me Cas…"
"I could never hate you," they said softly, staring at her, and at Julio, about to open their mouth again when he spoke.
"No, Corazón," Julio said quietly to them, looking into their face. "There's nothing they can do. They can manage the symptoms like we have been until… Until they can't anymore."
"No," Cas said, staring at them and barely able to believe it.
"I'm so sorry," Zoey said with a sob. "This is all my fault."
"You didn't know," Julio said, looking at Cas who was just beside themself.
"How could I have not been there?!" they asked. "How could I have not known?!"
"Please don't blame yourself," Zoey said, shaking her head. "I did it on purpose. I knew it would mean I would be alone. I chose that."
Cas shook their head a little bit in disbelief. "I… I can't lose you Zo, I can't lose you."
"We'll take it one day at a time," Julio reassured them. "We're going to make sure that we have the best memories together and figure it out as we go."
"You? Figuring it out as we go?" Cas asked, because somehow that made them feel worse. "No."
"I know, hard to believe," said Julio, trying to laugh, but he knew it was just impossible to do so. "I'm so sorry you had to find out like this. We just couldn't wait, we knew you would need to know soon. But you finally found something to just… jump into."
"If you quit, you would have never gone back," Zoey said. "And I'm so proud of you Cas," she added with a sparkle in her eyes. "You are incredible. You did it. You're going to get that letter of rec from the board for sure, no doubt."
"I don't even know if I want it anymore."
"You will," Zoey said, her eyes growing fiery. "We're going to make it work so you can chase your damn dream, okay?!"
"I'll take a leave of absence and stay home with her. Your parents I'm sure will help. You can do whatever you can do remotely. We'll hire a nanny. We'll make this work so that you can do something you love."
"You fucking idiots don't listen to me!" Cas said loudly. "YOU ARE THE ONES I LOVE!" they sobbed and screamed a little bit and pressed their face into their knees.
"And we love you too," Julio said, remaining calm even as Zoey was clenching her fist.
"You're the ones I love which is why I can't stop you from reaching for the stars!" she said loudly. "This is all my fault. FUCK! FUCK this is all my FAULT!" she yelled and grabbed her cheeks in a fit of rage with a high-pitched scream.
"No no no no no." Cas shook their head, quickly snapping out of it seeing her screaming as Julio took her hands to keep her from scratching and she moaned a little bit, so overwhelmed and angry that she couldn't make words. "No," they said quietly as they hurried over to kneel in front of her, just helplessly laying their head on her lap. They stayed there, hugging her legs, until she stopped screaming and just started crying again. "I'm sorry for yelling, I just… Fuck."
"I know, it's all my fault," Zoey said, wiping her eyes in the crook of her elbow.
"It's nobody's fault," Julio said levelly, and Cas admired him for being strong. They knew he was just used to it…
"I just…" Cas shook their head. "I just wanna drink and feel something again and forget about all this for the night and deal with it the morning."
"Well then it's a good thing I got tequila." Julio stood up to point at them both and Zoey made a bit of a face.
"I hate tequila."
"Well you're doin' damn tequila shots with me tonight, you fucking bitch," Cas said, going over to just give her a tight hug. "I will always love you, Zoey Gilmour," they said to her quietly.
"I know," she said softly. "Me too."
She hoped she would never forget that.
…
Over the course of time, the flowers stopped coming every day. For a while, it was only on the days she was feeling well. Then, she started to forget them. Then… They just had the unspoken agreement that some flowers were the least of their worries right now.
The kids started to notice something was wrong with Mama. Cas couldn't make Julio tell them alone.
Castiel got their board approval and letter of recommendation. Just as they started their Gamemaking job, Julio lost his job because of taking too much time off. Suddenly the tables had turned – now he was the stay-at home and Cas was the breadwinner. Soon Castiel found that they liked throwing themself into their work because it meant they had to be home less and less.
It was gradual, but over the course of four years, Zoey started to become… Not Zoey anymore. Suddenly they didn't know what person they would be walking home to. Julio was always there and always did everything – and Cas would never stop needing him and thanking him for everything he did.
They worked at home increasingly less and less, and when their overtime started to get them noticed, suddenly everything was starting to get even better. They were starting to learn more and more about the art of Gamemaking – and with practice they were getting good at it. More promotions, more money. Bigger house. Zoey's own bedroom. Sometimes she would sleep with them, but those times became less and less. And it was more of a relief than anything. A relief? How could Cas think that about her?! But also, was this really her? They didn't know.
After three years, Cas could see that Julio couldn't do it anymore. He really put up a fight but Cas didn't let him. They hired a nanny for the kids, and a caretaker for Zoey. They were glad they did – they were so afraid that they were going to lose Julio too for a while, but the additional help and the opportunity to go out and look for a job to pass the days was what he really needed – some sense of normalcy in his life. Cas was just glad they were able to do that with their hefty paycheck for their family. It felt good. Their parents offered to help – and they did so much. Watched the kids, cooked meals, did the runs to after school clubs and sports practices and games. Cas knew it should have been them doing those things, but they just needed some space. In the Complex, they could pretend everything was fine. As soon as they got home, things suddenly weren't fine anymore.
Things got a little better after that. Zoey stayed the same for a while. Julio was happier and happier. He and Cas started having sex again – pushing past how weird it was to do that without her. They were going to have to get used to doing a lot of things without her.
When Cas got a contract in their hands offering them the promotion to Head Gamemaker, the whole family got together to celebrate. Zoey didn't fully get why they were there, she still mixed up their titles, but she actually gifted both of them a dance. It was a wake-up call to them that their family needed them here.
So here they were. Sitting in Adam's bedroom with a lullaby track playing on their laptop to work on the 3D to-scale model of the Arena they planned to create for her. Making sure the boy didn't wake up crying and asking to go see Mom in her room. She needed to rest too. They all needed to rest.
Cas… Was okay. They would make this work. So here they were, rocking on the rocking chair they'd never replaced in the room since it was a nursery. Comfortable for her to sleep on and wake up for feedings. Comfortable enough they were almost dozing off, before going back to the design on their computer screen of their creation – only usurped by their children in terms of the greatest thing they'd ever made.
So they could repay her for every single ounce of her love, and hopefully even if she didn't understand a single other thing, the scenery on the TV would make her happy. Make her think happy things, whether they were about Cas and Julio or not.
Three was magic.
Two was… Lonely.
The only thing they could do for her was try to keep her happy. Her happiness was still so important. If that would make her happy, they would feel better about all the time spent away from their home, their family…
They were going to make her happy the same way she always made every day a little better for them. The same way she showed her love to them each time they came back from work. The thing they always looked forward to. The thing they used as a reward for not blowing up at their old bosses, and their old shitty coworkers. The thing that they and Julio needed more than almost anything to just try and keep going despite how tired they both were.
Flowers.
~.~.
A/N: Partial SYOT. Submission info is in bio.
Only rule? There are no rules.
Please read the stuff on my bio to get a feel for how the story's gonna go. Also expect long updates like this one on a consistent basis, I'm Wordy McWordyson over here.
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