Chapter Thirteen
Ron woke bright and early the following day, half due to excitement about going to New York City and half due to fear of being surrounded by Homer's webs again. Thankfully, Ron awoke completely unaccosted by any spiders at night.
Once Harry was washed and dressed for the morning, Ron met him. The boys went downstairs to meet Gomez. Wednesday and Pugsley were in the living room, playing Chess. Wednesday's complexion mainly had returned to normal, though it was still somewhat rosy.
Ron looked over Pugsley's shoulder as the boy pondered his next move. Ron would reluctantly admit there wasn't much besides Quidditch he was interested in, mainly in subjects of deep thinking, but Chess was something he was passionate about.
He had his own Wizards Chess set handed down from his Grandfather. Unlike Muggle Chess, the pieces in Wizards Chess were enchanted to move and speak like living beings. Ron had reasonable control over the old pieces, but they could be temperamental to unfamiliar users. When Ron and Harry had played a game, Harry's pieces squeaked objections to nearly every move until he'd sicced Mano on them all. The animate hand chased the little pawns, knights, and bishops around the Gryffindor Common Room for about an hour.
Pugsley seemed to reach a decision and reached for his knight. Just as he was about to move the piece, Ron made a little tut under his breath. Pugsley looked up at Ron, wondering what to do. Ron whispered a suggestion in Pugsley's ear, and the younger boy took his advice. Pugsley moved his piece with a confident look on his face.
With little more than a glance, Wednesday looked at the board, picked up her bishop, and took Pugsley's knight. Ron and Pugsley groaned at the swift move. Pugsley glared at Ron for his failed advice, but Ron shrugged and said, 'That's how the game goes.'
Gomez and Lurch entered the lounge. Gomez was dressed in his coat and bowler hat, and Lurch wore a dusty chauffeur's uniform. Gomez glanced at the children and smiled.
"Ah, there you are. Are you ready to go? Wednesday, Pugsley, you're welcome to join us!" Wednesday refused and tentatively looked at her hands, glaring at their flush color. Pugsley said he wasn't interested in trekking about the city for the day. Gome shrugged and turned to Harry and Ron.
"Well, boys, it looks like it's just the three of us! Come along, mustn't dilly dally all day, as tempting as it can be!" Harry and Ron grabbed their coats and followed Gomez to the car. Ron's eyes widened at the impressive sight of the Addams car. Even the best of Wizards tended to think they were superior to Muggles due to their gifts of magic. Still, even the most adamant Purebloods had to admit they were fascinated by the Muggle invention of the automobile. Ron's Father had been called to investigate many a Wizard who secretly owned a magically modified car despite claiming to disdain anything not purely Wizard in nature.
The Addams's car was a vintage 1932 Packard Delux-8 Convertible. It was painted a deep olive green and had a tan cloth top. Lurch held open the door to the back seat for his master and the boys. Gomez, Harry, and Ron each thanked Lurch as they got inside the car. Lurch groaned and closed the door before shuffling to the driver's seat. The car roared to life, pulled out of the Addams driveway, and made way for New York.
Lurch drove very fast, faster than was considered wise, but he expertly piloted the car around each turn and curve, sometimes on only two wheels. The ride reminded Ron of riding in the Wizarding transportation service, the Knight Bus, though the bus was enchanted to avoid obstacles. Lurch spun the wheel, dodging cars, trees, and signs with hairsbreadth precision.
After a whirlwind ride, the car arrived in the bustling city of New York. Once in the town, Lurch's driving slowed to a more legal pace. Harry and Ron looked out the windows at the sprawling metropolis. Buildings so high you couldn't see the tops of them, streets filled with people, all on their way to all sorts of places. The boys marveled at the sights around them. They drove across the Brooklyn Bridge and got a great view of the Statue of Liberty.
Millions came to New York searching for the American Dream, Wizards and No-Madjes alike. Those who sailed to Ellis Island marveled at the city's glory and the majesty of the giant tarnished copper statue that towered above their heads.
The car finally arrived at a building titled, 'Blucher, Brooke, and Baum: Investment Brokers.' Lurch parked the car, and Gomez stepped out.
"Be a moment, boys; I must speak with my broker. Then we'll go sightseeing!" Ron perked up at this, excited to see all that New York had to offer. Gomez closed the door to the car and went inside the brokerage House.
The Addams fortune had several origins, as the family's wealth had gone up and down various times over the centuries. According to the records, the oldest origin came from their royal Spanish ancestors, through trading with foreign allies and conquest of primitive lands. Various ancestors contributed to the growth of the fortune through both legitimate and illegitimate means. Their famous ancestor, Christobal de Addams, Captain of the SS Luigi, had made a fortune during the golden age of piracy, stealing from both sides of the political map.
Gomez's Father had taught him all about intelligent investing and how to grow one's wealth through the brokering of deals. Gomez had many investments worldwide, including diamond mines, oil fields, and factories, and sometimes, he even earned money without even trying to. Once, Gome bought a lovely plot of swamp land for the beautiful scenery, and during the inspection of the property, ancient prehistoric fossils were discovered buried in the marshy earth. Gomez sold the land to a local museum for excavation in the interest of scientific study and quickly made a couple million dollars in the deal.
Blucher, Brooke, and Baum had been Gomez's brokers for some time now, much to their shared embarrassment and confusion. Once, they were a reputable firm with many influential clients, but dealing with the Addams accounts had driven away many of their other clients. Gomez often called up their firm, ordering outlandish investments into bizarre companies, like tombstone factories, alligator farms, and swampland conservation.
None of these bizarre business ventures seemed to lose any money, though they drove down their firm's reputation. The brokers had tried numerous times to get rid of the Addams accounts, but Gomez always seemed to outsmart them, ensuring his accounts were secure. As soon as Gomez entered the lobby, the receptionist turned pale and pushed the button on her intercom.
"Sir?" she said into the electronic box on her desk. A tinny voice came through the speaker, saying they were in an important meeting and didn't want to be disturbed.
"But sir, it's Mr. Addams, he's here!" The speaker sputtered, sounding like someone choking on a mouthful of coffee. A door opened, and a pair of disgruntled business people were shoved out of the room. Gomez watched the two men leave, muttering under their breath about hearing 'crazy' stories about this brokerage. The intercom buzzed, and the tinny voice told the receptionist to show Mr. Addams inside.
Blucher sat behind his antique desk. His office was modern and elegantly decorated with antique art and furniture. Blucher struggled to put on a friendly smile, but he always felt quite nervous when dealing with Gomez Addams.
"Ah, Mr. Addams, it is always a pleasure to see you, but I must regret that I am rather busy today." He tried to convince Mr. Addams to leave and come back another time, but Gomez missed the implication. He just smiled and sat down before Blucher.
"Excellent, it's always good to be busy! Mustn't let the crabgrass grow under your feet." Blucher sat down resignedly and prepared for another bizarre meeting with his strangest client.
"So, Mr. Addams, what brings you in today?" He asked. Gomez pulled a cigar from his pocket, which was already lit, and began puffing away.
"Nothing too interesting today, old man; just come for an update on the stocks for the records." Blucher breathed a sigh of relief. The last venture Addams had him invest in was some bizarre company called Consolidated Fuzz. He couldn't quite figure out whatever the devil it was, but the deal made Addams a fortune.
Blucher pulled out the Addams file, a thick portfolio of records detailing Addams' bizarre investments over the years. Addams had him throw money after various businesses Blucher was sure would fail, but the man never seemed to lose any money. Any other client, Blucher would be thrilled, but the reputation he'd gained from dealing with Addams had nearly driven away all his other clients.
"Since your last investment, Consolidated Fuzz's stocks have tripled, as have Amalgamated Lint and National Dust. Profits remain strong with the Plutarch Uranium Mining Corp., and your property in Death Valley has been investigated and may have intrinsic historical value." Blucher went on, disclosing the various profits and gains. Gomez listened intently, nodding occasionally. Gomez never wrote anything down; he kept all the knowledge collected in his fiendish brain. Blucher finished with the report and put away the file.
"Any other business today, Mr. Addams?" Blucher merely asked as a courtesy; he hoped Gomez had no new financial plans ahead.
"Yes, there is!" Blucher slumped in his chair.
"There's a gentleman I've been speaking with in London to handle certain affairs, a Mr. Griphook. He represents a bank called Gringotts. I'd like you to speak with him about transferring some of my assets to his bank so he can handle them for me. I'll send him your contact information, and he should be in touch with you soon." Gomez stood up and put the cigar back into his pocket.
"Well, can't stay here chatting all day; I promised my son and his young friend I'd take them to see the city's sights. So long, Blucher!" Gomez left the office, and the emotionally drained Blucher. Blucher dabbed at his forehead with his handkerchief and took a pull from his flask. He pondered what Gomez had said before leaving; what kind of a name was Griphook, and he'd never heard of a bank called Gringotts. Blucher gathered his jangled nerves and tried to get back to work. Gomez left the brokerage and got back into the car. He turned to Harry and Ron and grinned.
"Well, boys, off we go! Adventure awaits us!" Gomez told Lurch to drive on, and the car drove into the city. Gomez took Harry and Ron to various impressive sights.
They went to the top of the Empire State Building and gazed out at the massive city. Ron stared down at the ground and felt a little dizzy. He'd never been afraid of heights, flying on his broomstick, but being so high up made his knees tremble.
They visited the American Museum of Natural History, where Ron marveled at the massive Dinosaur skeletons. The Museum even had a hidden Wizarding section that showed exhibits of the magical arts of Native Americans, the natural habitat of the legendary Sasquatch, and even the founding of the Magical Congress of the United States of America.
They saw exhibits detailing the persecution of Wizards by No-Majes during events like the Salem Witch Trails and how, for a long time, relations between the magical and non-magical worlds in America had been even more strained than in Britain because of Rappaport's Law due to the debacle caused by Dorcus Twelvetrees and her breach of the Statute of Secrecy.
For many decades, American Wizards and Witches were forbidden to interact with No-Majes, except for the briefest necessities, and could not marry them. No-Maj-Born Wizards were forced to abandon their families once their magical talents emerged. The law was eventually repealed in 1965, and now relations between American Wizards and their No-Maj counterparts were far better for both worlds.
Many places they visited had magical halves, such as the Central Park Zoo, where they gazed at habitats charmed to contain and care for Snallygasters, Hodags, and Jackalopes. They even visited MACUSA itself in the Woolworth Building.
The atrium was an impressive room of glass and polished marble. Hanging from the ceiling was a gauge that monitored the level of magical detection by the No-Maj society; currently, it was marked at Level 1, Low Threat. It fluctuated between Levels 0 and 1 for several years, only occasionally reaching Level 2 in isolated cases.
Gomez took Harry and Ron over to a statue in the atrium commemorating the original twelve aurors of MACUSA. The statue showed twelve Wizards and Witches, all posed with their wands in the air. Gomez motioned to Harry and Ron to look closely at one of the figures. The Wizard wore seventeenth-century robes; he had short cut hair swept back from his face, and glasses framed his eyes. Under the figure was a name, Abraham Potter! Harry and Ron gaped at the statue of Harry's ancestor. Ron nudged Harry, a look of admiration and jealousy on his face.
"Blimey, I thought you were famous enough for surviving You-Know-Who!" Harry felt a swell of pride for his ancestors and his actions protecting the American Wizarding world. The day was growing late, so after leaving MACUSA, Gomez took the boys for dinner. Lurch drove them to 124 Macdougal Street, which seemed to be a row of apartment buildings. Gomez led Harry and Ron behind the housing development, down an alley and a small staircase, ending in a brick wall, where some garbage cans stood. On the wall was an antique poster advertisement for lipstick.
The poster showed a red-haired woman looking in a mirror, her face done up beguilingly. Gomez rapped on the poster, and the woman's reflection turned to look at them and winked. The wall opened up into an archway into a dimly lit pub. Ron's eyes boggled at the place Gomez had taken them to. Ron had been to the Leaky Cauldron a few times, which was one of the oldest Wizarding pubs in Britain, and its atmosphere could be a little rustic and disconcerting to newcomers, but this place made the Leaky Caldron look like the Ritz.
"This is one of Morticia and my favorite spots in town. This, my boys, is the Blind Pig!" Ron gaped at the seedy speakeasy. The walls were stone, with an arched ceiling. On the walls were photographs of shady-looking figures. The bar was antique, dark, lacquered wood, behind which a pair of House elves served drinks. Above a fireplace was a painting of a sneering goblin. The smokey air was filled with the sounds of a mournful jazz melody played by a quartet of goblins, playing many instruments, magically and not.
The pub was filled with several Wizards, but there were also a fair number of goblins, a pair of wizened old ladies Ron was sure were hags, and even a shabbily dressed giant was sat in the back corner, sipping a drink the size of Ron's head.
Ron wondered what his Mother would say if she caught him in such a place as this. Most likely, she'd cuff his ears and drag him out, threatening to paddle him with her broom. Gomez led the boys to a table, and they all sat down. There was a loud snap, and a House elf appeared before their table and handed them all the menus. Ron had never seen a House elf in person before and marveled at its unusual appearance of large, bat-wing-like ears, pointed nose, and bulbous eyes.
"Order whatever you like, boys; it's my treat!" Ron and Harry looked over the menu. The food and drink seemed the usual pub fair fare: fish and chips, House stew, steak, and potatoes, but there were exotic items such as dragon tartare, a fillet of sea snake, and burgers made from yak!
Gomez ordered a camel hump steak, medium rare, and a pint of dark beer. Harry ordered beer-battered alligator bites and a drink called Fishy Green Ale. Ron looked for the least unusual meal he could find, deciding on what he hoped was a beef burger and chips and a Pumpkin Fizz. The House elf wrote down their orders, returned the menus, and disappeared. Gomez smiled at the two boys and gestured around him.
"The Blind Pig has been in business since 1900! It was once owned by a goblin named Gnarlak," he pointed to the portrait above the fireplace. Gnarlak sat in his portrait, trying to look proud and aloof, but he looked more like a thug trying to appear non-threatening. Occasionally, he smoothed his clothes and itched his long, pointed nose with fingers bent backward.
"It's said Gnarlak was rather duplicitous with his business handlings. Now it's owned by Morticia's friend and me. We found this place a few years ago when we were out for a night on the town."
"It's a charming place, Father. Don't you think so, Ron?" Harry turned and asked. Ron looked at Harry like he had suddenly sprouted a third eye but shrugged and said it was right.
Another House elf, or perhaps the same one—it was hard to tell—appeared by their table and gave them their drinks. It handed Ron a glass and an orange and brown bottle topped with a pumpkin cap. To Gomez, it gave a glass of beer that was so dark that it was almost black, and to Harry, it gave a glass of green fizzing liquid with what looked like fish spawn at the bottom.
The House elf returned with their meals. The food steamed and smelled quite delicious. Once they were served, the three tucked into their meals. The burger was tasty, juicy, and filling. Harry offered to share his alligator bites, but Ron politely refused.
As they ate, the band played a fanfare, as a lady goblin dressed in sparkling black came on the stage and began to croon a jazzy ballad. As she sang, she conjured swirling shapes and patterns in the air with her hands. Ron watched, amazed at the spectacle, as he ate his meal. He began to feel more at ease in this unusual place. Harry was the best friend he ever had, and as weird as his family and he may seem, they were truly good and generous people.
Once they finished their meal, Gomez paid at the counter and led the boys out. Lurch was waiting for them at the car and opened the back door obediently. Once they were inside, Gomez turned to Harry and Ron.
"Well, boys, I hope you enjoyed your day in the big city, but now we must return home. We have some exciting times ahead of us before the big day!" Harry and Ron thanked Gomez for bringing them to New York; they felt full from their meals and slightly tired. Gomez tapped on the window to the driver's seat for Lurch to take them home.
Lurch drove the car swiftly through the city streets back to the Addams home. When they got back to the manor, it was getting dark. Lurch let out the three passengers and moved the car to the garage.
Gomez led Harry and Ron inside the House, taking their coats to hang up with his own. Grandmama and Fester were in the lounge, watching the Television. The two looked up as the others came into the room.
"Aw, hello boys, how was your day out?" Grandmama asked cheerfully. Harry and Ron excitedly started to talk about their eventful trip to the city. Grandmama and Fester listened amusedly as Gomez went to find his beloved wife.
Morticia was in the conservatory tending to her garden. Tish had a black thumb when it came to cultivating exotic flora. Gomez wrapped his arms around Morticia and kissed her neck as she watered her Belladonna. Morticia smiled and reached up to stroke her husband's face.
"Ah, Mon Cher, did the boys enjoy themselves?" Gomez trailed kisses down her arm, nuzzling her neck with his mustache.
"We all had a marvelous time, Querida, even had a bite at the Blind Pig. Gustav has done it; I must take you back for some quality time." Morticia turned to face her husband, whose eyes burned with passion. Ever since the day they met, Gomez and Morticia had been madly in love.
Gomez had been a rather frail and sickly young man, plagued by various allergies growing up. When they had first met, Gomez was betrothed to Morticia's sister Ophelia. Ophelia had always been the day to Morticia's night; Daisies grew from her golden hair, and she floated about in wispy white gowns. Neither Gomez nor Ophelia were particularly thrilled at marrying each other but were willing to do so out of family duty.
One day, Morticia accompanied her Mother and sister to the Addams manor, and the moment she and Gomez locked eyes, it was love at first sight. Gomez and Tish arranged several secret meetings together, writing love notes and poetry to each other. One fabulous night, Gomez took the chance and kissed Morticia for the first time. The moment the two kissed, all of Gomez's allergies disappeared, and he's been the perfect specimen of health ever since. Gomez and Morticia met with their parents, announced their love, and wished to marry. Ophelia didn't mind that her sister had been seeing her fiancé behind her back, as she had fallen for another man, Gomez, and Fester's gadabout Cousin, Itt.
Gomez and Morticia married on Halloween night in the Addams cemetery before their gathered family, living and deceased. They exchanged their vows, professing their undying love for each other, and were joined in blissful matrimony.
Gomez and Morticia walked arm in arm back into the lounge, where Harry, Fester, and Grandmama showed Ron the wonders of the Muggle invention, Television. Purebloods like Ron were familiar with moving pictures, such as photographs charmed to cycle through a motion of events and portraits created to capture the subject's likeness and personality. Movies and Television, on the other hand, were quite different. They told entire stories with all sorts of sights and sounds but without the interactivity of magical portraits.
Ron sat with Harry, watching, fascinated at the unfolding feel-good story of 'The Thing that Conquered the World,' a wholesome little story beloved by the Addams family. Gomez looked at his watches and cleared his throat.
"It's getting late, boys; time to get ready for bed!" Harry and Ron stood, bid the adults goodnight, and went upstairs to their rooms. Ron made his bedtime ablutions, dressed in his pajamas, got into his nice warm bed, and gently drifted off to sleep, dreaming of the fantastic sights he'd seen today, and wondered what new thrills awaited him in the following days.