"All that matters is that you succeed. There was no excuse for being inadequate, you have to succeed no matter what. Relationships were tools, the larger your connections to bigger fish, the greater the spoils. People were a resource."

That string of thoughts is what drove SilentNight forward, every victory gained was because he knew how to use people, his teammates were fodder for his success in life. If they failed, they either improved or were shoved aside, that's all that mattered. The crowd roared at his victories, claiming win-after-win, no matter how narrow the match, SilentNight always came out on top, it paid well and it felt gratifying.

"Now, they'll be a post-interview so..." SilentNight didn't listen to the announcer, only the important bits that is, his eyes were focused on the person that stood out from the crowds as they walked down the hall of the event.

Waxy warm-black hair gelled back, those venomous, pale-green eyes, and a scowl only a mother could love. He was in his early twenties compared to SilentNight who wasn't even halfway through his teens yet. OryxKing stormed forward, a former competitive player until his sponsors dropped him, say for one but they'd work with any scumbag with drama, negative or otherwise.

"You little shit!" He tried to approach but security nearby kept him back, even as he tried to make a grab for SilentNight's collar, he merely stepped back. "You want to say that crap to my face!?"

Is that what this was about? SilentNight shook his head with a sigh. "You're nothing but a money-grubbing, scumbag of a cheater that has the hand-eye coordination of a three-toed sloth with the charisma of a misanthrope. So don't come picking a fight with me when you're no better than anyone else online that hacks and cheats,"

"I get you, you runt! You've got just as much dirt on you as me!" And OryxKing just admitted he was a cheater, making SilentNight roll his eyes.

"Right, sure, whatever makes you happy in your echo chamber," Without even a wave, he turned to make a detour, leaving security to practically drag OryxKing out of the convention, dragging his heels.

"I'll kill you, you bastard!"

"People were a resource, so finding out a person was willing to cheat and exploit a competition to earn all the benefits was a threat. It didn't matter how many enemies you make, so long as you never lost and knew how to keep yourself safe and be smart about it, your life wouldn't ever be challenged,"

|Sword Art Online, Floor 25, Town of Senja Castle|

|Jan. 28th, 12:45|

Sat along the edge of Senja Castle, staring out at the city shrouded by dark clouds, the Feudal-style city never lost its glow often, but today, the sight looked as devoid of life as Artorias. He had finally calmed down, now left stressed and worried, guilt over his past actions crawled up through his whole body, it sickened him, making spells of nausea occur.

"I should've just..." He closed his eyes, hands running across his face at the awful, sinful thought that came to mind. "That wouldn't stop him, not now... God, how many people has he killed because of me?"

A few paces behind him, Artorias heard footsteps quietly approach, forcing his hand to Red Death, turning only to relax and return to his previous position. "...what, here for an autograph?" Even his humour was dry and cynical.

"I'm here for you," Yuuki began, sitting about a foot away from Artorias, nervously holding out his buckler. It was a grave shield with a splash of black and red split by a silver brace down the middle, Red Dawn. "You dropped this,"

"'Dropped' right..." Reclaiming his shield, his voice went quiet. "...thanks,"

That got a tiny smile from Yuuki, but it vanished just as quickly, watching his hollow eyes as the wind tugged his bangs back. She had never seen him so distraught, not since Arawn appeared on the 51st floor, threatening him, likely to do with who Artorias was. "...all this time, you were really him...?"

There was no avoiding the question now, much as it turned Artorias's stomach, running his fingers across the edges of his shield. "SilentNight was a stupid handle but it stuck, I used games as a means of escape as anyone else would, I found I was very good at it and saw people could get famous if they competed. So I did, I kept improving every day, every night until nothing was a threat to me. If you weren't good enough I had no time for you, everything was either a tool to use or an obstacle to overcome. And it worked, people revered me, envied my skills, hated me personally. But that didn't matter because I had made it,"

Yuuki could see it in his eyes, a ghost of a spark lingered on those days, Artorias sounded passionate for a split second, invigorated until it turned cold and bitter. "You hated it deep down... but why did you quit?" Yuuki didn't understand. And how could someone so stuck-up become the person she knew? There was so much she wanted to know.

"I... it's nothing," He shot down, causing her to deflate a little, seeing how it obviously was hurting him to think about. "It doesn't matter, forget you ever heard that name. SilentNight doesn't exist anymore, the person you admired is nothing but a callous, self-centred scumbag..."

But she bit her cheek, she refused to let this continue to eat away at him. "You shouldn't bottle this up anymore, it's obviously hurting you, isn't it? You can talk to us, to me, I-"

In the blink of an eye, Artorias's face contorted into a scornful glare, shooting up to his feet as he glared down at Yuuki, her eyes wide at the sudden, aggressive look on his face. "That's easy for you to say, isn't it!? When you've done nothing about your own problems! Don't you dare tell me what I can and cannot withhold when you're no better!" He jabbed his finger at her. "You, Ran, the other Sleeping Knights, all of you know something we don't and keep treating it like it's 'nothing to worry about'! Yet every time you've looked at me, you always have this strange, guilty look in her eyes, and I'm sick of it!"

The anger in his eyes was swallowed by another wave of guilt and pain, the kind that twisted the knife in Yuuki's chest. "Is it me? Am I that insufferable to you? I guess all I am is just another powerful swordsman to fight, right? Do you honestly hate me that much?" He threw his arms wide, exhausting his point. And now Yuuki stood, her face filled with pain, anguish, and anger of her own.

"How could I hate you!? Of course you're my friend, idiot!" She screamed back, forcing his throat to tighten at her tone. "I'm worried about you, I was so scared that you were going to die and I couldn't do a thing about it! The person I admired for their skills and talents is nothing like the person I grew to know for nearly a year, you mean so much to me, you're my hero!" Her voice cracked a little. "And I'm scared that if you ever knew about my condition, you'd... you'd never be the same person again, I... I don't want to hurt you more knowing me!"

When Yuuki calmed down, she looked and saw the mixture of dread and curiosity on his face. "What... 'condition'?"

Yuuki gasped sharply. But Artorias didn't see it until he looked at her eyes. She covered her mouth, tears threatening to run down her face in horror at what she said. "Yuuki? What's..." That look in her eyes as she stepped away from his hand.

Grief, pain...

..Loss...

It suddenly slammed into Artorias, everything to do with his past completely vanished... seeing how hurt Yuuki was felt far worse, "Artorias, I-I..." She hiccupped.

Her hand instantly swiped down, producing a teleport crystal from her inventory in mere seconds. "Wait...-/Teleport Town of Beginnings," He reached out but her body disappeared in a blur of particles, crimson and emerald met a final time before all Artorias saw was the open pathway towards the other side of the castle.

He couldn't reach her, his hand closing on open air that stung a thousand times over. Lowering his arm, Artorias looked around, now with nothing at all but a bloodied sword and a rough shield weighing his body down.

"'People are a resource'... I really hate that phrase,"

|Floor 25, Misfits Guild HQ|

|Jan. 28th, 13:10|

Artorias kept himself scarce hearing the voices inside, taking the most unorthodox route to the largest room in the building, reserved for Nagi and Argo that he noted returned with the rest to their home base for the day, likely expecting Artorias to be here. So in avoiding downstairs, he knocked on Nagi's door before entering, finding it unlocked.

Inside by a table, Nagi was chatting with Argo when they saw Artorias enter, looking heathier in skin tone at the very least. Argo saw this and decided it best to take her leave in silence, but not before giving Artorias's chest a light tap with her knuckle, it was a little reassuring as the door shut behind him, leaving the two in silence.

"Come and sit, I think by now you'll want some answers," Nagi didn't hesitate to provide, watching Artorias shuffle into the seat across from him. "Everyone's worried about you, after what happened with Arawn; how are you feeling now?"

What could Artorias say? Slumping in his seat, head facing the table as an accumulation of shame and guilt washed over him. "Like the worst person in the world... I've tried so hard to forget everything I did, I... I thought that finally, finally I had something worth living for, that was tangible and real, and I... keep messing it up every time," His fingers curled into his pants, fighting back frustrated tears. Suddenly, he swung an arm out. "And now, one of the people that hates me most of all is here, and killed so many people in the process, and I don't know if I can stop him!"

His anger fizzled out, losing the strength in his voice. Artorias wasn't as old as Nagi, Argo, Mito, or Daora, he was just a kid who had been shouldering more than his fair share of burdens. Without any walls maintained, he was fraying at the seams, he just wanted to have a good, meaningful life. "...I'm such a failure..." Artorias's voice quivered, folding his arms on the table to hide his burning face.

"Hm... nope," Nagi replied after giving Artorias the time to vent. "Ever since you tried to fight that boss to revert the glitch on your avatar I've been trying to look at things far closer than before, I'm still trying and..." He paused, Artorias peeking to see a strange expression fall over Nagi for only a blip before his smile returned. "I've seen how hard you've been trying, all this time even before we met you've helped people in your own way. You antagonize others to try and prove you wrong because you honestly want them to improve themselves, you recklessly threw yourself at the Sleeping Knights' wishes and helped make it a reality. You're so much stronger than me but you follow me,"

"The Artorias I've known is not a failure, if anyone in this world has been giving it their all, it's you; and you may've made mistakes today, but you still came to me, didn't you?" Nagi's soft tone and understanding of the situation felt exactly like Artorias's sister.

"...you and my sister are a lot alike, you both are annoyingly good at pep-talks..." Artorias muttered, gaining a small chuckle from the raven-brunette. "I... messed up, I yelled at Yuuki and she... what is going on with her-with all the Sleeping Knights, even you, I don't want to lose anyone else, please," Artorias never begged, his tone was softer and genuine. Nagi's nose picked that up the moment he set foot in the guild again.

"Yuuki's spoken a lot about you, sometimes it's all she talks to me and Ran about," Hearing this made Artorias a little hot under the collar but now, Nagi's expression turned somewhat serious and solemn. "The only thing is, whenever Yuuki talks about you, she always ends up in tears,"

Artorias's whole face dropped after that, she... was crying because of him?

"Normally, she always keeps a stiff upper lip about her own plight as you know," Artorias listened closely. "But she still wants to be around you, even if she feels it would be better that she wasn't."

"But why is that? I've tried asking the others and they always gave me these dreaded faces or dodged the question before," Artorias's fingers were taut against his arms. "Why? Is it because of her 'Condition'? Why does that have to matter?" His frustration was growing.

Taking a breath, Nagi looked Artorias straight in the eye. "Ran told me if you really wanted answers I could explain everything to you, but after what you hear you might wish you hadn't asked at all," Although, Nagi was certain what the answer would be. "So are you absolutely certain you want to know?"

Something in Artorias's chest felt heavy and tight, the way everyone's been, how Yuuki reacted, even the way Nagi spoke, this wasn't going to be a pretty answer. But Artorias refused to let one of the few good things in his life slip away, he wasn't about to lose Yuuki over this, and not because of Arawn either. "More than anything. Go ahead, I'm all ears, Boss,"

"Okay... given who you actually are, you've heard of the Medicuboid?" Nagi began, and watched as Artorias's brow raised a little.

"Yeah, my... mother, she's mentioned the name, she doesn't work with it but I have a rough idea on what it is," Artorias admitted, though he only knew it was to replace anaesthetic, hopefully.

"Well, it was developed by the government with the intention to act as an alternative form of anaesthetic, it was designed to be a modified extension of the Nervegear. The Medicuboid has a stronger electromagnetic output than the Nervegear, so it can make muscles completely numb and cancel out the spinal reflexes - making it possible to avoid using anaesthetics, which still have a small-but-rare risk. It had many more pulse-generated components than the Nervegear and its CPU far surpasses the processing speed of any similar equipment, even with the Nervegear being so new," Nagi broke it down as simply as he could, but sighed to himself.

Nagi sat up straight, as if uncomfortable where he sat. "But it's not as if it can cure illnesses. The field that the Medicuboid would be most viable in last I heard prior to the Death Game... is terminal care,"

...

...

...

"Terminal... Care..." The phrase rang like a gong in Artorias's ears.

"In Kanji, it's called the 'final stage medical treatment'," His words sunk in like an anvil tied to Artorias's stomach, pulling him against his chair as the colour drained from his face. He knew it was bad, but Yuuki was... he could barely believe it...

Swallowing hard, Nagi watched Artorias sit upright, appearing sick but with a burning resolve in his eyes. "...okay, tell me everything," No way was Artorias running away from this, he hadn't come this far to back out now. Not this time.

"When Yuuki and Ran were born, they had to perform a C-section, but the blood used in the transfusion was found to be contaminated, that they didn't discover until September, by then, the family of four were all long infected. Even before I knew them, my dad and myself were donors of blood, maybe to help with their condition, I'm not sure," Nagi shook his head, clearly feeling the heaviness behind the reason why Yuuki and Ran were special cases. "Yuuki's the one that also uses the Medicuboid, Ran's using a Nervegear as we speak,"

"So she's likely had spouts of pain, hasn't she?" Artorias couldn't have ever guessed, not just what Yuuki's living with but Ran wasn't numb to any of it. Nagi nodded so Artorias continued to ask less his throat tightened to hard to speak. "And... uh, what is their illness?"

"Acquired Immunity Deficiency Syndrome, or AIDS," Hearing this, Artorias's head sank to his hands, rubbing his eyes to cycle through the motions. "Despite being able to prolong AIDS with treatment at early stages, this variant is a drug-resistant strain,"

"Tch, all this time and you'd think we'd have found a solution to something like this..." Artorias muttered, wondering what was so special about his mother if even she couldn't figure it out. He pushed his scorn for his family aside to look at Nagi properly, having a far greater understanding of his position all this time, meeting his cousins face-to-face in SAO must've been a real blessing and Artorias never knew.

"Despite the hardships that followed, Yuuki and Ran kept fighting their illness, going onto a multidrug therapy course, regular check-ups despite how that affected their school lives, both academically and socially," That last part made Artorias's stomach turn but he didn't voice it. Nagi now wore a faint smile, shaking his head. "Despite their conditions worsening and needing to be placed in hospital care permanently, they still found a way to smile throughout,"

"Yep, that sounds like them, just like you, boss," Artorias quipped a little, helping to lighten the mood a little. "So, what led to Yuuki willingly letting them plug her into that magical box?"

"Well, from what her doctor told us... finding a patient was difficult, probably would've been worse during all of SAO I can imagine, so they made the proposal to their family and now Yuuki's in a sterile room with the Medicuboid, keeping her as safe as possible from external infection. Since then she's been living inside the virtual world,"

That made Artorias huff a single laugh, "'Truly living in this world', just as Blackie said," Nagi nodded in agreement. "So... as long as she's in that room, she's okay?"

"Like I said, from external infections, but not the bacteria inside her, she's likely still within the terminal stage, Ran maybe more-so, I'm not sure given our lack of connection to the outside world," Nagi broke the news, leaving Artorias speechless. There was nothing else to say, less it came from either of the twins themselves.

"I... all this time, and she's admired SilentNight-me when... she was already miles ahead of me," Though this was nothing new to Artorias, Yuuki was always an amazing person, Ran too, both of them fought for their lives long before this Death Game began.

With the matter settled, Nagi's comforting expression returned to look at Artorias's conflicted one. "Now that you know, tell me, despite how little time she may have left, would you still be at Yuuki's side, friend or otherwise, even if you have to watch her disappear right in front of you one day?" It wasn't a question Nagi had ever liked to think about, it was a fate he had to resign himself to, he remained hopeful, so did Argo, but having to mentally prepare for that day either cousin would vanish wasn't pleasant.

Nothing but silence followed, Artorias quietly considered the situation, its gravity and all.

"Take some time off today, especially since Arawn's become active," Standing up, Nagi moved for the door, patting Artorias on the shoulder. "I know this is a lot for you, you don't need to give me an answer, but whatever you choose I won't judge you for it, you're still my party member and friend, and if you need to talk, either to me or Argo, please don't hesitate to ask," With a final squeeze, Nagi left Artorias to unwind and mull over everything, some peace and quiet is what he needs right now.

Long after Nagi left the room, Artorias closed his hands together on the table, head bowed as he did something he's never done before, and silently prayed. He had his answer, "I..."

To Be Continued...

Real dialogue heavy this one, leaving Artorias with a heavy amount of thoughts and feelings to mull over. Arawn's still out there, Yuuki's avoiding him, and Artorias is more fractured than ever before. I hope you enjoyed, I appreciate the support as always; see ya in the next chapter, Misfits!

072 - Artorias

To help clear her mind, Yuuki and the Sleeping Knights join the rest of Nagi's party in exploring the remaining levels to the labyrinth, tensions are high, and the traps are plenty...