Lunatic was having a pretty good day, as far as he was concerned; he'd started the morning with a delicious breakfast at his favorite diner, then went to the park and had a wonderful debate with Siegfried, his favorite squirrel, over the merits of acorns over walnuts. After that, Lunatic had enjoyed a spot of tea at one of his favorite shops, followed by a merry game where he robbed a local gangster and left the man unconscious, dressed in a fabulous purple dress with matching shoes, and fifty-thousand dollars poorer.
Lunatic had used the money wisely and bought himself a seventy-inch plasma screen television, which he was currently sitting in front of, happily watching Caddyshack; the rest of the cash Lunatic had given to the Mother Superior of a nearby orphanage that looked like it was in dire need of funds. The old woman had haughtily taken the leather bag that Lunatic had offered and promptly fainted after looking inside; after being reawakened by her fellow nuns, the old woman had taken Lunatic into a bone-crushing hug that had left the boy blushing as she proclaimed her thanks. Lunatic had mumbled a quick reply before tipping his hat at the old woman and disappearing back home. Taking a sigh of contentment, Lunatic took a look around his home; using his abilities, Lunatic had become a true menace to the gangsters of Gotham, robbing them of anything he could get his hands on; he'd then used his sudden burst of wealth to buy a penthouse apartment in the swankiest part of Gotham. It hadn't been that difficult to purchase; at first, the lady had been reluctant to sell to a child, but that reluctance vanished when Lunatic dropped the large suitcase filled with hundred-dollar bills in front of her. Lunatic wasn't ashamed to admit that when he stood in his new home for the first time, he'd actually sat down and cried for a little while; for a boy thrown away at birth by his own mother, having his own home meant more than words could say. Since then, Lunatic had filled his home with whatever caught his interest, turning the once pristine penthouse into a madman's delight.
The penthouse was entirely too big for just one person, consisting of two floors and seven bedrooms of enormous size, with the master bedroom being twice the size of the others; the size, however, worked to Lunatic's advantage as he was able to fill every room with whatever he wanted. One of the rooms, Lunatic had transformed into an enormous game room with a basketball court, a dozen vintage arcade games, a massive air hockey table, a pool table, an indoor batting cage, and a ten-foot-deep ball pit, complete with slide and diving board. Another room, Lunatic had painstakingly transformed into an exact replica of Bag End from the Lord of the Rings movies, sparing no expense in his quest to have his own Hobbit hole; it was the only room that Lunatic refused to alter in any way, shape, or form. His other rooms changed as his mood fancied, but his Bag End would remain the same way until he either left or died. The reason for this was as tragic as the rest of Lunatic's life; during his 'stay' with Cadmus Labs, a guard had taken pity on poor Lunatic and would come and read him a chapter of 'The Hobbit' before bedtime. The guard had just finished the story, but before he could read the sequel about Frodo and the ring, he was transferred, and Lunatic was, once again, left alone. Naturally, the first thing Lunatic had done after escaping was to rob Barnes and Noble for no other reason than to steal himself a copy of 'Lord of the Rings.'
Lunatic's obsession had been a significant part of the reason why he had taken an entire month to paint the ceiling of the living room to look like the Last Supper; however, instead of Christ and his apostles, Lunatic had chosen to replace them with the cast of the Hobbit, with a stoic looking Thorin seated in the middle. As he kneaded his bare feet through his shag carpet, Lunatic couldn't help but smile happily; he was currently sitting on an oversized black couch and was dressed in red satin pajamas with his top hat sitting lopsided snugly on his head while an abnormally large bowl of popcorn sat beside him.
Upon bringing his new television home, Lunatic had decided that the perfect place to put it was in front of the main window so that he could enjoy watching whatever he chose while at the same time enjoying the glittering lights of Gotham City beyond.
Lunatic had just reached for another handful of popcorn when the glass window exploded in a shower of glass and dust, taking Lunatic's new television with it; as Lunatic watched his latest pleasure item shatter into a million pieces, his eyes widened in horror, his hand frozen in the act of picking up more popcorn.
A moment later, Lunatic's eyes narrowed in annoyance as Livewire, Copperhead, Star Saphire, Riddler, and Captain Boomerang stepped through Lunatic's now broken window, all smiling at the boy in a way that was far less hospitable than the boy liked.
"…. That was a seventy-inch plasma screen tv…" Lunatic said softly as he closed his eyes in annoyance; a moment later, the boy sucked in air through his teeth before plastering a fake smile on his face and looking at the four villains, "So, how can I help you?"
"This is the kid Luthor put a bounty on?" Copperhead sneered as his eyes roved around the living room, taking in the stuffed polar bear in the corner that was wearing a pink tutu as well as the coat rack by the front door that looked horribly like it was made from someone's spinal cord, before his eyes came back to the still smiling pre-teen, "This will be easier than I thought!"
"Luthor put a bounty on me?" Lunatic asked in surprise, "Is it because of the dance routine I put him through? I tell ya, some people just can't take a joke," the boy shook his head wearily as he said the last part as he crossed one leg over the other and placed his clasped hands atop his knee, taking on a relaxed demeanor, and making Captain Boomerang smirk while the other glared.
"I will admit, it was a bloody good joke, kid." The Australian villain said with a wink, "But you shoulda known better than to prank someone like Lex Luthor. The man's sense of humor disappeared around the same time as his hair."
Lunatic couldn't help but smirk slightly at that before Riddler stepped forward and sneered at the Australian.
"Perhaps we should just get to the point?"
"Oh, all right then, spoilsport…" Captain Boomerang replied as Riddler turned back to the still-smirking boy.
"We've never formally met," Riddler said with an arrogant smile, "I'm the Riddler,"
"And I'm Carmen Sandiego, guess where I am!"
"…. I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you here," Riddler growled after a moment of silence, in which the only noise was a snort from Captain Boomerang.
"So am I," Lunatic smirked, still seated in his relaxed position, "And I am failing, and I'm sorry for that. It's just I'm so agitated because five little shits strolled into my house, destroyed my SEVENTY-INCH PLASMA TV, and are now trying to impress and intimidate me, like they're my alcoholic daddy, back from the pen."
Captain Boomerang couldn't hold it any longer and dissolved into laughter as Riddler turned bright red with anger; before anyone could react, Riddler had charged across the room, raising his question mark cane over his head to bash in Lunatic's smart mouth. He'd only take a few steps, however, when the boy cracked his head to the side, causing a black hole to suddenly appear in front of Riddler; unable to stop his momentum, Riddler could only yell in fear before disappearing through it, as the others watched in shock. The instant that Riddler disappeared, the hole did as well, as though it had never been there to begin with.
"What did you do to him?!" Copperhead demanded, a hint of fear in his voice,
"That," Lunatic replied simply, pointing behind the villains and making them turn to see what he was pointing at. As one, their eyes widened in shock as they watched a black hole appear in the sky not far from them. A moment later, a small silhouette fell from it and began to scream as it fell toward the ground.
"Given that we're about twelve stories up, you might wanna go get him," Lunatic said with a smirk, "Unless, of course, you don't mind Riddler-flavored pancakes."
Star Saphire immediately dove out of the broken window and straight toward the still-screaming Riddler as the others turned back to the smirking boy, now eyeing him warily.
Slowly rising to his feet, Lunatic performed a small twirl; when he was done, he was dressed in his usual outfit and quickly straightened his top hat.
"So, how much am I worth?" Lunatic asked with a smirk as he watched Captain Boomerang pull out the weapons of his namesake, "I hope it's worth the amount of time you all will spend in physical therapy learning how to walk again."
"Two-hundred and fifty million, smart-ass," Livewire sneered, electricity dancing off of her skin,
"Not bad," Lunatic said with a grin, "Not bad at all."
"Plus another two-hundred and fifty for your friend, Arcane," Copperhead added, causing Lunatic to tense up instantly before turning to him.
"Arcane's got a bounty too?" Lunatic asked in a cold voice, "That bald-headed prick put a bounty on my best friend….?"
By now, Lunatic was no longer smiling but instead looking at the three villains with a gaze that made them feel like prey before a predator; a moment later, Star Saphire returned, carrying a very pale and shaking Riddler.
"Yup," Livewire said with a cruel grin as she lifted her hand and split her fingers apart so that Lunatic could see the electricity dancing between each digit, "But don't worry, kid. Luthor wants you both alive so he can kill you himself, so we're not gonna kill you. We're just gonna hurt you really, really bad."
For a moment, Lunatic stared silently at the villains before tilting his head to the side as a grin began to spread across his face,
"So, you plan to fight me with a handicap? Not very wise if you ask me…"
"Handicap?" Copperhead asked in confusion,
"Indeed," Lunatic replied, his voice taking on a cold hint that sounded wrong on a child, "You need me alive, but I'm not under any such restrictions…."
The villains all tensed at the boy's words for a moment before Captain Boomerang took the initiative and hurled his weapon, followed immediately by another one; instantly, the other villains sprang into action as Lunatic backflipped, the twin boomerangs flying over the boy's chest, and almost grazing his nose as they sailed past him. Livewire immediately turned into electricity and flew into one of the nearby lamps while Star Saphire flew into the air and began to watch with narrowed eyes; only Riddler remained where he was, and that was because he was still trying to slow down his heart rate from his near-death experience.
As Lunatic landed on the opposite side of his couch, Copperhead immediately attacked, taking a swipe at the boy and causing him to quickly jump out of the way,
"Hey!" Lunatic snapped as Copperhead swiped again and almost grazed his top hat, "Watch the hat!"
"A stupid hat is the least of your worries!" Livewire cried out as she exploded out of a nearby lamp and fired a bolt of electricity at the scowling boy, which missed him by inches and caused his stuffed polar bear to explode. Rather than reply, Lunatic simply reached into his coat and pulled out a spray bottle, which he immediately sprayed three times into the woman's face, causing Livewire to shriek in pain.
"Bad electric lady!" Lunatic spat, "Stop wrecking my house!"
As Livewire cried out in pain, she stumbled away from Lunatic with her face in her hands; seeing what the boy had done to his ally, Captain Boomerang couldn't help but laugh as he pulled out another boomerang.
"I like you, kid!" Captain Boomerang smiled, "It's a pity I have to bring ya in. You got a great sense of humor!"
"Just for that!" Lunatic said happily as he dodged another attack from Copperhead, "I'll only knock you out instead of causing you death by medical debt!"
"I appreciate that!" the Australian villain laughed as his weapon flew back into his hand, only to be thrown again almost immediately, "If you can manage it, that is!"
Copperhead, by this point, had scaled up a nearby column that looked as though it had come from ancient Greece and dove at the boy, only for Lunatic to dive out of the way so that Copperhead collided with a nearby shelf filled with DVDs; as the shelf shattered, the DVD'S flew in every direction, eliciting an angry look from Lunatic as he surveyed the damage to what was once his living room.
"Okay, seriously!" Lunatic barked as he stormed over to the fallen villain, kicking him hard in the stomach, causing him to gasp for air; before he could recover, Lunatic began to stomp onto Copperhead's face, "STOP WRECKING MY HOUSE!"
Lunatic smiled as he felt Copperhead's jaw break after the boy's fourth stomp; before he could stomp again, however, a sudden pink blast struck him in the side, sending him crashing into the far wall. Rising shakily to his feet, Lunatic glared as he saw that the attack had come from Star Saphire, who, it seemed, had finally decided to join the fight.
"Okay…" Lunatic growled as he decided on his next target, "I don't think I like this game anymore."
Deciding to finish the job with Riddler (who still hadn't moved), Lunatic snapped his fingers, causing a large bookshelf to appear out of thin air over the villain's head; Riddler had just enough time to look up in horror before it landed on top of him. A moment later, when the dust had settled, the others stared in sick fascination as the only sign of Riddler was what looked like a severely broken arm sticking out from under a pile of broken wood; turning back to the smirking boy, Star Saphire snarled,
"Are you crazy! You could have killed him!"
"Yes, I'm crazy! Whatever made you think I was sane?!" Lunatic shouted, his expression taking on a look of pure madness, "I mean, have you seen my house?! I've got an entire room filled with green Jello, for crying out loud!"
The villains stared at the boy in shocked silence, causing him to sneer at them contemptuously as he slapped his coat and knocked the dust loose from it.
"Seriously, did you morons do ANY homework on me before you decided to bust in here, disturb my pleasant afternoon, and, oh yeah! Destroy my seventy-inch plasma screen television!"
Again, the villains said nothing, simply stared in equal parts anger and humiliation at the boy who had so effortlessly taken down two of their number. Glaring at them, Lunatic cracked the knuckles on both hands before speaking again.
"Do you have any idea how many morons like you have come after me over the years? How many dedicated CADMUS minions are now on forced medical retirement as a result of trying to take me on? Ordinarily, I would just beat the crap out of you, maybe humiliate you a little, and send you on your way. I don't like to kill, you see, just prank people mercilessly. But you all made a grave error, and now I will make you pay for it. And after you, Luthor's ass is next!"
"And what did we do that would elicit such a response?" Star Saphire sneered,
"You threatened the only real friend I've ever had…" Lunatic growled, clenching his hands into fists and making the penthouse shake as though the boy's anger was becoming physical.
"You little brat!" Livewire shrieked in rage, having finally recovered from Lunatic's earlier attack, she unleashed a truly impressive wave of lightning, sucking the electricity from the entire penthouse, it seemed, as the living room went dark. At the same time as Livewire's attack, Star Saphire released an equally large blast of pink energy, while Captain Boomerang hurled four of his most powerful explosive boomerangs. The three attacks seemed to combine in mid-air, turning the dark living room into a rainbow of color as they hit the spot where Lunatic was standing. An instant later, the penthouse exploded into a shower of dust, debris, and flames; Livewire and Captain Boomerang stumbled for a moment as the penthouse shook around them from the force of the attack. Throwing one arm over his mouth to block out the smoke and dust, Captain Boomerang made his way through the flames to where Lunatic's body should be; when he reached the spot, he saw, to his shock, that the boy was nowhere in sight, only a large pool of blood showed that anyone had been here at all.
"Where is he?!" Livewire demanded angrily, "Where is that annoying little pain in the ass?!"
"He's gone!" The Australian said with a shake of his head; honestly, he was glad that the kid escaped; he was a funny little guy, in the villain's opinion.
"Well, find him!" Livewire shouted, "I want payback!"
"We don't need to find him," Star Saphire said softly as she stared at a picture in her hands, "I already know where he's going…"
"Well? You plan on letting the rest of us know?" Livewire demanded, crossing her arms over her chest.
"He's wounded; like any wounded animal, they immediately go somewhere familiar."
"Which is?" Livewire asked impatiently.
"He's running to his best friend, of course," Star Saphire replied, handing over the picture frame; snatching it out of the villain's hand, Livewire looked down to see a picture of a smiling Lunatic holding a fishing pole and standing next to an upside down Arcane, who appeared to be the one that Lunatic caught with his hook.
"We could get them both at the same time!" Livewire said gleefully,
"Nah, I'm out," Captain Boomerang said, making the other two look at him in surprise,
"You're out?" Star Saphire asked, "You're just going to walk away from a quarter of a billion dollars?"
"That's correct," The villain nodded, making Livewire sneer contemptuously,
"I always knew you were a coward."
"It's not about cowardice, mate," Captain Boomerang growled as he turned to her, "It's about numbers, and the fact of the matter is that to get to Arcane, you'll have to go through the Titans first. And now that Lunatic is with them, the fight has become even harder. As it stands, you have no chance of winning, and I don't like to play for the losing team."
By now, the penthouse had become an inferno, and all three villains were finding it hard to breathe through the smoke.
"So, if there's nothing further," Captain Boomerang sneered, "I would appreciate it if we could leave before we all turn into barbeque!"
Seeing that her ally was right about precarious their situation had become, Star Saphire quickly created a sizeable pink platform with her powers; after throwing both Riddler and Copperhead carelessly onto it, Captain Boomerang and Livewire stepped on as well, and the group flew out into the open air.
When they landed on the roof of a building a reasonable distance away, they turned back and saw that the entire penthouse was on fire, and even from this distance, they could see that the whole top floor would soon be a smoky ruin.
"Well then, lovely working with ya, mates," Captain Boomerang chirped as he turned to leave, "As always."
Once he was gone, Livewire turned to Star Saphire and asked contemptuously,
"You leaving too?"
"I am not," the villain replied, "However, the man's words do have merit…"
"Whatcha mean?" Livewire asked,
"He was right that we lack the required number for this venture," Star Saphire clarified, "To have any hope of success, we need more allies."
"Definitely can't count on these two losers," Livewire spat, giving Riddler's unconscious body a kick to the ribs.
"Indeed," Star Saphire agreed, "We shall have to recruit more people on our way to Jump City. However, I have a feeling that our allies will soon find us."
"Huh?" Livewire asked in confusion, and making her ally sigh softly,
"Those two children have a combined bounty of half a billion dollars on their heads," Star Saphire said in a weary voice, "If every villain isn't already in Jump City by now, then they are most assuredly making their way there. Do you understand now?"
"Oh!" Livewire exclaimed, finally understanding, "So, we just need to make our way to Jump City, where hopefully we can ally ourselves with a few others!"
"Indeed," Star Saphire sighed, thankful that the idiot she had allied herself with finally understood, "Now, let's be off."
"What about these two?" Livewire asked,
"Leave them be. I'm sure the Bat will find them soon enough. For now, we should split up, and each make our way to Jump City."
"See ya there, then!" Livewire exclaimed before turning into electricity and zapping out of sight; releasing one more sigh, Star Saphire floated into the air and quickly flew away.
XXXX
Harry had just finished having his injuries treated by an annoyed Andromeda Tonks when a black hole appeared in the ceiling; a moment later, a badly injured Lunatic fell from it and landed hard on the floor, causing Andromeda to scream.
"Oh my god! Looney!" Harry shouted in horror as he jumped off the hospital bed and ran to the body of his friend. Lunatic's right side was soaked in blood, and it looked like he had severe burns as well from some unknown attack. Seeing the boy's state seemed to shock Andromeda and Nightwing out of their stupor, and both ran forward and knelt beside Harry.
"Looney! Wake up!" Harry shouted as he picked up his friend and gently shook him; a moment later, the boy's eyes opened, and he smiled as he saw Harry.
"Harry, I think I messed up…" Lunatic said in a pained whisper,
"You think?!" Harry all but cried in relief, "What happened to you?!"
"Luthor…" Lunatic groaned,
"Lex Luthor did this to you?" Nightwing asked in surprise from where he was kneeling on the boy's other side.
"With a pained groan, Lunatic shook his head and grabbed Harry's shirt,
"He's put a bounty on our heads, Harry. They're coming for us…"
As the last word left Lunatic's lips, his eyes rolled back in his head, and he went limp in Harry's arms, causing Harry to cry out in alarm.
"Looney! Wake up, Looney! Wake up!"
"Step aside, Harry!" Andromeda said quickly as she pulled out her wand,
"Aunt Andromeda, he won't wake up!" Harry cried out as he continued to shake his friend, "Please make him wake up!"
"I'll do all I can, but you must let me work," Andromeda said quickly but gently before turning to Nightwing, "Put the boy on the bed!
As gently as he could, Nightwing lifted Lunatic off of the ground and into his arms; as he did so, Lunatic's top hat fell off and rolled across the floor. Harry immediately picked it up and held it like a lifeline as he watched Andromeda begin her examination, slowly moving the wand over the still boy.
After several moments of silence, Andromeda turned to Nightwing and began to issue orders quickly.
"Go get Raven and tell her to bring my medical bag and any essence of Dittany that she has in her own stores. Then keep everyone out of here until I say otherwise, understood?"
"Understood," Nightwing replied at once, placing a hand on Harry's shoulder and forcing him out of the door; as Harry left the room, Lunatic's top hat still clutched in his grip, he heard his Aunt say sternly,
"I have not lost a patient in twenty years, boy. And you will NOT be the one to break that record!"
XXXX
Author's Note:
Before any of you start freaking out, no, I'm killing off Lunatic. I just wanted to set the stage for the next chapter when Jump City turns into a battleground; Lunatic will be fighting right alongside Arcane and the Titans.
I wanted this chapter to be where the supervillains come after the bounty, but then this idea to further explore Lunatic popped into my head. I think I made it work; let me know what y'all think. Until next time.