The Colour Purple Chapter 52: the end of dignity, a king of fighters fanfic

The Colour Purple... The King of Fighters '95

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This (chapter) fanfiction was originally written circa: [XX.96] (Thank you)

"Which Character are you?"

Note to self: Legacy chapter numbering (32- - -), does not match. [Original chapter written 2013]

Better be quarreling, than lonesome.

-an Irish Proverb.

When it was dark;

…and you were all alone.

Tell me.

When it was dark, and you were certain that no one else was watching…

What did you say to yourself?

…

Do you?

Yes. Yes, I want to learn how to fight. So I can end my [pain].

...

1974

"Okay people," their teacher called out as loud as he could to even dare compete with the sound of the chime and 30 some odd children between the ages of 10 to 12 roar as loud as they could to celebrate the end of the day. "I want to see those reports by MONDAY you understand. No excuses." He repeatedly clapped both hands together loudly to reel them back in.

"Aaagh, what a drag!" Robert complained as he crossed his arms over his chest and slumped back, lounging lethargically at the back the classroom. "Hey Ryo-chaaaan," Robert sneered to his side when he leaned back on his wooden seat, pretending it was a rocking chair. "Ryoooo-chan! Ryo-chaaaaan!" Robert looked concerned when Ryosuke refused to acknowledge him despite his friend being only one seat away. So Robert continued to call out at his friend, all the while oblivious to the fact that, much like his chair, Ryosuke's temper teetered dangerously at the edge.

Ryosuke proceeded to ignore Robert and continued to put his notebooks in order and placed them in his backpack neatly and with cautious, purposeful attentiveness.

"Man, why'd teach' give us such a looooong assignment on a weekend?!" Robert continued to grumble. As best as he tried, Robert couldn't reel Ryosuke in, but he still found some sort of peace from talking out loud.

The dark haired boy simply breathed out and grinned. Whatever. With a twinkle in his eye he rocked forward and hopped to his feet. The glee in his face made it seem like he had forgotten whatever he was complaining about a few seconds earlier. "Hey, my Dad said it's okay if I invite some friends over tonight to hang out and sleep over. You wanna come over, Ryo-chan?"

Robert was cut short by the deafening sound of both of Ryosuke's palms slamming hard into his desk. Equally deafening was the entire classroom that had immediately turned pale and silent.

"How many times do I have to tell you right now, my names Ryosuke!" Ryosuke shouted so loud it felt like the windows would fly out from the pressure. "Are you deaf?"

"Actually, you haven't said a thing all day..." Robert began to...

A! Ryosuke was already walking out the exit before Robert could finish. He didn't even give a damn. Robert held his hand out and stammered. "Hey man, what about coming over...?"

"Not on Friday." The slamming door was all the punctuation Ryosuke cared to offer.

…

"Are you afraid of your father? Is that why you keep on fighting like he tells you too?" Robert looked to the side with his hand clawed lazily onto his temple.

"Sometimes, I just get so angry… is all." Ryosuke mumbled out.

"What?"

"Angry. I get so angry – sometimes, so angry that I have trouble sleeping at nights. That is why I fight."

…

1975

"No way, Jose!"

"Did your Dad really get you an Atari, Robert?" The second boy from across him uttered, totally flabbergasted. I suppose it was that time in the world – a time when children were aware, and were in touch when the Earth was about to change. Even when adults thought what THEY thought amusing was stupid and inconsequential – little did these men and women know that GAMES they played on their television screens would change the way the world turned.

Did your dad get you a REAL Atari game system?

GAMES that became stories.

"Yeah bros." Robert gleamed proudly with both arms behind his head. He leaned back on his chair – a cheeky smile crossed his face when he looked up. "I dunno though, my Dad said I can't invite too many people over…"

"Robert!" one of the boys pleaded with both open palms on each other in prayer. "Pick me. Come on bro, please."

"I dunno… I already had other plans." Robert slyly closed his eyes and turned to the side, then behind him. "What do you say Ryo?" Robert, a simple and pure boy of 10 years old invited. "Wanna come over to play?"

Had it been anyone else, like those two other boys who watched the scene unfold, had it been anyone else, they would have simply pouted their lips and walked away in disgust at Ryosuke's expression. Without even stopping to pay a reply he continued to straighten his books. He tapped them in systematic fashion before putting them neatly into his knapsack. However, Robert was unfazed – his smile held itself because, unlike everyone else he was simply blind and ignorant to it all.

"You can get some clothes from your house or you can borrow some of my pajamas and sleep over?" Robert suggested with a grin.

"Master is waiting. Don't you get it? It's Friday night."

The sliding door slammed shut to punctuate Ryosuke's statement... once again.

"…" Robert continued to stare at that door. Teeter tottering on his chair at the edge of falling over, he leaned back gingerly and kept his hands behind his head. His expression was calm and plain, and it was almost as if he was still waiting for a reply. The look on his face seemed like it believed that somehow the door would open once again and his friend Ryosuke would walk back in with a beaming smile and say to him…

You know I changed my mind.

Let's go to your house, I'd love to stay over – Robert imagined Ryosuke break that stoic look on his face and smile for once and keep him company just as friends do.

Robert never understood – or perhaps he did and just didn't want to realize it. Why Ryosuke was this way and why Robert kept on waiting.

"Hey bro!" Robert heard a voice say to the side. "Hey, if Ryosuke doesn't want to go then ca…" the voice slowly began to decay into indecipherable murmurs before it was cut into pieces of silence, and the words simply degraded to a random collection of sounds that ceased to hold importance to the boy.

"You know… I changed my mind. I'm not having a sleep over anymore." Robert said out loud.

…

"Are you having fun?" King whispered to herself as she glared downwards at Robert. "I don't understand… I don't understand… Nani ka, tanoshiindarou?" What's so FUN about all this?

…

1980

"Ryo-chan Ryo-chan!" Robert screamed at the top of his voice and with both hands slammed three tickets in front of Ryosuke's desk. Robert couldn't contain his excitement any longer. He screamed so loud it made Ryosuke flinch and take a step back, putting his left pinky into his ear, annoyed. "My Dad got me tickets to Michael Jackson's concert! They say he's going to do a 'moonwalk'."

Ryosuke did as he always did and simply stared wordless at Robert. That voracious gaze would penetrate and made it apparent that the 15 year old blonde boy was ready to tear you limb from limb just from a simple look. However, to Robert, as it always did, had no effect. "My Dad can't come…" Robert slowly uttered. Ryosuke noticed Robert's eyes wander lost to the side in a haze of guilt, perhaps unconscious shame? "But hey…" Robert continued. "Maybe you want to go with me?"

Again the door slammed shut without a word.

It took a while for Robert to break his gaze from the place where Ryosuke once stood, and when Robert regained his bearings, he let his gaze shift to the side at the familiar door. And while wordless, he already pleaded to his friend. He wanted Ryosuke to be there, and he didn't want to be alone. And in so turn a hundred words and a hundred emotions exchanged between the two because Robert knew Ryosuke well enough – despite the fact that they were connected with silence.

"I know… it's Friday isn't it?" Robert, his head was downcast and a shadow covered his sad face so no one would ever see. I know that. That, he said to the door. The door, that, without any mercy, punctuated 'the room', for all time.

…

PLEASE! Don't leave me all alone.

…

1981

"AGHH! RYOOOO-CHAAAN!" Robert dug deep and drove his face into his crossed arms on his desk. "Tanya broke up with me! God DAMN it!"

Probably no one else would've noticed but Ryosuke stopped tapping his books on his desk for a few seconds. Robert was far too deep in his self-pity, shaking and digging deeper into the desk because he couldn't bear to grasp for air. Ryosuke looked in front of him and twisted his lip in a contorted grimace. No voice came from him and in a few moments later he continued to tap his books onto his desk and placed them neatly into his bag.

"Ryo-chan." Robert cried in muffled manner with his face buried deep into his folded arms. He cried into the wooden table in front of him. "Let's go somewhere, I don't want to be alone today. Take me out drinking or something, anything, damn it."

SOMETHING.

ANYTHING.

LIKE IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD.

Ryosuke put all his books into his bag and instead of turning round and walking away, put the bag on his chair and stared at Robert's back with a furious look. Still, even now it was only Robert's voice that filled the air. It was all that Robert needed.

"NO! No! No." Robert cried out. "I know what you're going to say. This is NOT a 'not a big deal'. I know what you're going to say – I don't want to hear it."

Ryosuke bit his lip and after forcefully breathing out a half dozen times with his eyes closed, he slipped his hand under one of his knapsack straps and slung his heavy pack over his shoulder.

"No! Don't leave me alone today. NOT today Ryo-chan. Please!" Robert whined. A peculiar scene unfolded – and perhaps it was the end of the world. Ryo held his tracks, back turned to Robert he stood firm and it seemed like his jaw and shoulders moved but it was too hard to see from the back.

"…"

"Please Ryo-chan." Robert finally pulled himself up from his pit, and in familiar fashion leaned back on his chair fearlessly and looked up at his friend behind him in an upside down stare.

Ryosuke immediately turned around and marched back to his desk where Robert laid the back of his head in a precocious position. Even at the slightest provocation Robert would have fallen over, but even still, Ryosuke slammed both hands on his desk and stared down forcefully, menacingly at Robert who still locked gazes with Ryosuke Sakazaki upside down eye to eye.

"I TOLD YOU… My name's RYOSUKE! Do NOT call me Ryo-chan!" Ryosuke roared with a boom that shook the windows that surrounded them.

Totally unaffected, Robert responded with his heartbroken deadpan face up at Ryosuke's red, fuming face.

"Naaa.. Ryo…" Robert droned. Hey…

Are you alone like me? What's so WONDERFUL about your 'fighting'?

"Ryo." Robert mumbled about. "You're going to abandon your friend here. Is it…?" Robert said. "What is it? What's so wonderful? What's so FUN about fighting?"

IS IT SO FUN?

WHAT'S SO [WONDERFUL] about fighting?

Ryosuke's trembling, bloodshot eyes stared down at Robert – Robert who would not break away – Robert who unlike everyone else in their class – was simply NOT afraid of Ryosuke. Ryosuke, the blonde haired boy now 16 years old, curled his open palms in two fists and uprooted them from his desk. He steadied his breathing and with his bag on his back turned round and made his way out the room that imprisoned both of these two boys for too long.

"What's so fun about fighting, Ryo?" Robert called out, and challenged his friend one last time.

Will it save me? Will it make me whole? Will it make me forget that my father is a good man? Will it make me realize that the world is indeed WONDERFUL? Will it comfort me? Will it keep me warm at night, and make me not feel so alone?

"Tell me, is it that much fun, Ryosuke!?" Robert repeated, not wanting to let go – his words grabbed Ryosuke's shoulders and turned him round, making him lock gazes with Robert once again.

Again the silence deafened all audiences who stood round the two boys, and internalized into their memory, a time, a time so familiar to us, because we were once children like THEM too. Wherein a time, when a broken heart and an uncertain future was something impossible to bear all alone.

Ryosuke's lips parted, but truly Robert, who had known this blonde haired boy for almost a decade now, needed not rely on voices to communicate. Ryosuke may have spoken then, or maybe he said nothing, it didn't really matter to Robert. For all that Robert needed was to see that stern look in Ryosuke's face and the mere fact that after all those Fridays of selfless years gone by – their conversation had finally… after all these years, it would not be punctuated, harshly, mercilessly, it would not be punctuated with the cold sound of a sliding door.

"Ryosuke!" Robert sai..

"Shut up! Why don't you find out for YOURSELF!?" Ryosuke shouted.

"…"

Why don't you come with ME, tonight. So you can find out for yourself?

It was a calm voice now, a soft sound that Robert heard in his brain.

It didn't matter if his heart gave birth to voice – what was important was this…

Why don't you come with ME, tonight. So you can find out for yourself?

...

When it is dark.

…and you are all alone.

Tell me.

When it was dark, and you were certain that no one else was watching…

WHAT DID YOU SAY TO YOURSELF?

When it was dark.

I realized, why I turned to fighting.

…and why I continued, and I felt so at PEACE when the physical pain crippled me – so OTHERS… so others like me…

…would not feel the same pain.

We fought, because, WHEN WE WERE CHILDREN, we, it was, to us, the end of the world, every single waking day.

...

Chapter 52: the end of dignity

La End of La Bizarre Love Pentagon pt. 4

"I don't love King anymore. I love you instead, Yuri." Robert said. Robert pulled Yuri's jacket down slowly over her shoulders, brought her close to him and kissed her full on the lips.

Yuri froze on the spot with her eyes wide open. Her body didn't move but her mind was screaming.

Present day, present time. In 1993.

Yuri clenched her fist and threw it sidelong into Robert's face. With a clatter and clinking of glass and bottles Robert's body flew to the side totally unprepared for Yuri's full force punch that momentarily separated Robert's consciousness from his body.

"I don't want any cheap love, but I still love you." Yuri whispered.

Silence.

"Eventhough I know you can't return my love, I still care about your happiness. And I still fight for it. I fight for it and feel pain whenever someone forgets your name, or talks less of you." Yuri said. "I've fought all I can, but now, the rest is up to you. How can King fight for her own happiness if you can't even get up from your pit."

With that, Yuri straightened her Jacket and walked out of Robert's room. It was a sound that was neither so foreign, a slamming door that ended the voices that were said out loud and soon the whispers of anxiety and regret clawed feverishly into Robert's cranium.

Yuri pushed the button on the elevator but it took too long, and she didn't feel like staying out in that lonely hallway feeling naked, so she spun round and made her way to the staircase a few steps away. Running three flights down she stopped and caught her breath by the railing. She put her hands on the wall, eased herself down and sat with her bottom on the landing between the zig-zagging staircases.

Yuri hugged herself and wanted to stay there forever. She wanted to be a bum too. To worry about nothing. To be free? Free of all worries? She just noticed a small black stain on the wall across her and looked at it. How long had it been there? How come no one would clean it? What if she passed by and someone else passed by and no one would clean it? Would it be there forever? Yuri got up, went down a few steps and wiped the stain as best as she could with the sleeve of her Jacket. If Robert wouldn't do anything, SHE would.

Beggars. Why do they lose direction? At that moment, Yuri wanted to hate Robert. Yuri wanted to hate all the bums, the filthy beggars like him. Do you remember your mother telling you how you would end up like a bum one day if you don't try hard enough? Remember how you feared the thought? Remember how you hated and despised them? Well then… does it make them bad? Being weak? Just because the world determined that they would lose, and they should just not exist? Should Yuri hate bums because of that weak shell? Yuri couldn't understand how she could lose such faith in a person she had such high regard for before.

Yuri continued to rub the edge of her sleeve over that dark stain by the wall. Feverishly running her arm up and down, it was apparent that nothing was happening. Her breathing soon became panicked, erratic, and a looming feeling of anxiety started to coil into a twisted corkscrew and numb her insides. That imperfect, dirty spot in front of her continued to mock her mercilessly – and soon the feeling of cold helplessness overcame her and made her knees buckle. No. NO. NO. NO! She repeatedly drove the bottom of her fists into it. Yuri placed both her forearms onto the concrete wall and slowly slid down its smooth surface, finally ending on her knees on the equally dirty ground.

Still, she thought about what would've happened if she hadn't lost her composure and punched Robert. If I was everyone else, just a simple girl who simply existed to please the man she loved. Let me turn back time, and would things have turned out different? If I turned a blind eye to this all. Everyone else went to that place. Instead of going back to this lonely world of [fighting].

She held her cheek. Thought. Then it occurred to her. She ran her tongue across her mouth.

...

Back in 609, Robert sat flat on his bottom, still confused as he had ever been. A sobering hit though. Robert dug his fingers into his mouth and pulled out a chewed up piece of purple gum.

"Eh?"

Without even a moment's notice Robert suddenly felt his diaphragm twist into knots and explode into a panicked convulsion. He put his hand to cover his mouth and leapt to a stand. Running past the cluttered path in his apartment he rushed to the bathroom. A sudden pressure made him double over, stumble, and a disgusting wretch leapt out his mouth and in between his fingers. Even if he tried to cover his mouth the rancid vomit darted out. In immediate fashion Robert had both hands over his face but it was like he was using only two hands to hold back a dam that had shattered and erupted a hundred gallons a minute. He never made it to the toilet when the puke and bile splattered over his floor. On all fours now Robert steadied himself with both arms as he expelled his insides all over his bathroom. The sludge splattered over the sides of the toilet seat, and soon his world was turned into a horrible, disgusting swamp. A swamp of half digested junk food, painful rancor and the remnants of what was once dignity.

Robert didn't even have the privilege of making it to the toilet. He had missed his mark by a good 3 feet and all he could do now was kneel and curls his hands in fists inside his own puke. Robert bit his lip and couldn't help but whimper and cry. Tears rolled down his cheeks for no reason and he began to hiccup uncontrollably.

Why am I here? Why am I back HERE? In this God damn place?

"Master…" Robert groaned, doubling over from the pain in his head that felt like an iron spike splitting his cranium in two. His extremities shivered uncontrollably from he convulsions in his diaphragm that forced the alcohol from his body.

His mind was numb now and he was ever so cold. Oh how I wish, that you would never ever find yourself in this corner, backed into this dark place and feel this horrible sensation. The crippling, mortifying feeling when you found yourself kneeling on the ground, powerless and devoid of any shred of dignity.

"Master…" The ringing in his ears grew so loud, at the end, Robert's mind simply shut down and refused to acknowledge the sound. Instead he cried out until he could hear a familiar voice echo in reply.

"Why do you even fight?"

Why am I here? Why am I back HERE? In this God damn place?

Why?

Because I'm bored.

No.

Because I'm weak.

No.

Because…

"Don't waste my time, boy. I don't care if you're my son's friend…"

Tell me the truth, or else, you're going home.

"I…"

Robert's hand came up and held the edge of the toilet to steady himself. After the ordeal, he finally felt calm, hollow, empty. This is why we stay up awake at night, and when no one else is watching, we finally realize something we've denied to ourselves, and to everyone all for so long.

…and so Robert, so tired and wasted, he could barely hold his head up – with an open outstretched palm he reached out, begging and pleading that someone would save him. Even when he could see nothing in the darkness, he knew that there would be someone to catch him. This was the reason we stay up awake at night.

Because, I'm lonely.

…and only through fighting, does it make me whole.

…

Do you want to learn how to 'fight', Mr. Robert Garcia?

If you want to learn how to fight…

Do you?

Yes. Yes, I want to learn how to fight. So I can end my [pain]. So, I can end all this loneliness.

…

Then, why don't you come with ME, tonight. So you can find out for yourself? Escape this prison that the world built around you without your permission. For you cannot be free, until you become a God that rules your own kingdom.