Chapter 6
Summary for the Chapter: Grey skies are drifting. Not living Forever.
They told me it only gets better.
She hadn't set an alarm but she was up before sunlight anyway.
She couldn't miss another day of work. She didn't want to.
So Jane makes her way down town, driving fast pace and seeing no faces pass before she gets to Boston Police Department.
Maura isn't there.
She tried to stay away but before half the work day was done..,
Jane finds herself standing alone in the dark of Maura's office.
Thoughts are rushing through her mind, crashing into each other.
Jane didnt hear when she was joined in the room
She was startled from her thoughts when the lights suddenly came on
And she heard,
"..Hey."
She turns to see the medical examiner before her.
Jane clears.her throat and responds,
"hey Chang", Wiping the tears away quickly, "Susie. Hey, how are you?"
"I'm good, Jane. How are you doing?" She sounds concerned
but Jane doesn't know how much Maura has or hasn't said.
"I'm alright Suzie. .. did.. did um.. is Maura.. she said she was going to stay with you
..Did she stay with you last night?"
"...I don't know if I should say.."
..."I just want to know she's okay, I'm not going to go over there.
She gets to be alone.
If she doesn't want to be near me.."
Another tear falls as Jane goes to sit in Mauras chair, "She gets to be alone."
"She is safe, I just heard from her, I called her about a case not long ago."
Jane smiled at that, she knew Maura loved her work so she hated feeling like she was interfering with what Maura loved to do,
But the workaholic in her probably enjoyed doing the consults, senior criminalist chang knew her boss well.
"Thank you Suzie."
The doctor just smiled back before leaving the room to get back to work.
Something Jane needs to do too.
She feels she has a bit more control over sadistic murderers than her own life right now.
...
Jane was sat on one of the benches behind BPD,
something she had never done, with case files spread out before her.
Her thoughts would betray her when she thought about calling Maura for assistance
only to remember the reason she
Was currently sat outside was because her and Maura weren't talking.
Still, work was a pretty good therapy and Jane was getting lost in the routine.
She didn't notice right away when Frankie appeared to her right with a coffee.
It was a nice gesture from him, "Thanks Frankie."
Jane accepts the cup and sets it on the bench beside her,
looking back to the papers on her lap.
Frankie stays standing for a moment,
looking over Jane's shoulder before joining her on the bench.
"I'm sorry Jane. I really shouldn't have lost my cool on you like that.
You didn't deserve it.."
She looks to her little brother who is looking at his shoes with the meekest look on his face,
she puts her arm around him and pulls him in.
"You're forgiven, Frankie. I shouldn't have snapped on you either--"
"I'm really embarrassed Janie. Ma didn't raise us to fight like that."
"I know." And once again, her thoughts settle on her own transgressions.
What would her mother say.
They stay sat together in silence for a few minutes,
just listening to the city around them before Frankie breaks the silence,
"What made you want to work outside? I don't think I've ever seen you out here.."
She looks over to him before answering,".. just a lot on my mind. A lot."
"Do you want to talk about it? Is Maura okay? I noticed Chang is running her department today.."
Now she can't meet his eyes.
She leans her elbows on her lap, leaning forward slightly and resting her chin in her hands,
Looking straight ahead at the old oak tree, leaves rustling in the breeze, "I don't know.."
He tries to meet her eyes but she won't look his way, he continues anyway, "Are you guys okay? Did something happen?
..Jane?"
"I.. I don't know how to talk about it yet.."
This time Frankie puts his arm around Jane, pulling her into him before he tells her, "It'll be okay Janie. You and Maura love each other.
I'm sure whatever it is, you guys are going to work it out."
It feels so good to be embraced but she knows he might have a different tune if he knew the truth.
"I really, really hope you're right, Frankie." She responds, eyes shining with tears when she finally meets her brother's gaze.
..
"You'll come to me when you're ready, right? Jane... Right?"
She gives him a slight smile as he stood prepared to leave, she prepared to resume work.
"I will. I promise. .. Thank you, Frankie."
He just gives her a smiling smirk before turning to leave.
Well that forgiveness wasn't so hard she thinks to herself, picking up the coffee Frankie got for her.
Taking a long swallow she hopes will reinvigorate her to solve the puzzle of the case files on her lap.
She's grateful for Frankie's thoughtfulness but her mind has once again been consumed by her sad state of affairs and she wishes she could shut that part of her brain off while she was working.
...
The hours pass in the uneventful day, she talked to her mom before she left, who tried to get Jane to tell her what was wrong but Jane didn't know how to talk about what she did.
She was ashamed of herself, the last thing she wanted was to face other people's judgement.
And from her family?
She knew she'd have to face the music eventually but for right now, she was relieved to be pulling into her driveway and officially in her own world.
Her relief faded though when she remembers why Maura's car isn't in the garage.
It's weird, because Instead of buying a new house when they got married, they made Maura's house into theirs and now Maura wasn't even here.
It smells like Maura, and it feels like home because all their stuff is here but Maura isn't.
"fuck." Jane says to herself, walking into the empty house.
Emotional exhaustion spreading down her neck to her shoulders as she let's her bag and keys drop to the floor. She walks to the guest bedroom and falls onto the pillows, taking a deep breath.
It smells faintly of Maura. Or Jane wants it to, but either way she's gathering as much comfort from the pillow as she can.
The bed was made when she got in but the day caught up with her when she layed down so she got under the covers and sleep came right after.
When she woke again the house was dark, and Jane was disoriented at first.
She hadn't spent too much time in the guest room during the day, even less at night.
It all came back to her as she got up to head to the master bedroom, running into the hallway table as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and turned the lamp on.
When she got to the room she could sense something was different as soon as she turned on the light.
She stopped short but couldn't figure it out.
Until she looked to the bed and saw the sheets had been put on and the bed was made- Maura was here.
Why didn't she stay..
Jane went to sit on the bed and pulled out her phone to dial Maura,
She didn't answer.
She kept the phone to her ear when she heard Maura's voice, you've reached the voicemail box of "Maura Isles, I am not able to answer the phone right now, please leave your name, call back number and a brief message."
And then Jane lost all the words she wanted to say so she went with what was at the forefront, "I miss you.
Please come home."
And as she hung up she got an epiphany, Maura's tortise. She had forgotten about him and realized she hadn't seen him
She searched the whole house and couldn't find him.
Her next move was to panic but reason suggested Maura had probably come while she was at work to get him.
"She doesn't trust me with her freaking turtle!" but jane knew she'd never actually looked after the creature alone.
Her next thought is even more panicked, because why would Maura come and get her turtle? This cant be permanent, can it?
Immediately Jane heads to the armoire Maura keeps for her nighties and more intimate silks and lace.
The relief is palpable as Jane let's out the breath she didn't know she was holding. The clothes are still in their place on hangers.
Jane runs her fingers over the garments, stopping at her favorite thus far. She pulls the turquoise green sheer neglige off it's hanger and admires it as she flashes back to the first time she saw it a week ago..
Maura may have feigned innocence but she definitely knew the affect she would have on Jane when she came into the kitchen that morning and nonchalantly started making coffee. Jane was sat at one of the bar stools reading the Boston Times newspaper with a bagel when Maura came in.
"Good morning babe." She came up to Jane and gave her a kiss on the cheek before moving around to the other side of the island to prepare coffee. Jane, who already had the French press ready for her had yet to say anything.
Her mind was being consumed by the feast her eyes had before them.
Maura had on lace undies to match and Jane just wanted to touch her everywhere.
She found her voice, "That new?"
Maura met her eyes briefly to respond, "mmhm." before looking back to what she was doing.
Jane watched for a moment more before getting up to round the island, stopping short of Maura and appreciating the beautiful view. The sun was shining on them and Maura truly looked like an angel in the radience. She looked over to Jane,briefly again as she inserted the plunger and stopped short of the coffee.
Jane didn't want to wait anymore, she came up behind her wife and breathed her in as her hands came to rest on Maura's hips, pulling the shorter woman against her body. Her excitement was plain to feel and Maura's breath hitched at the contact.
"Thanks for waiting for me to finish prepping the coffee." She breathed out before Jane turned her around and picked her up to sit her on the island. Placing her claimxX
Jane was swimming in the memory but reality came crashing down with the realization she may never see Maura in anything like this again. How quickly her life has changed.
Notes for the Chapter: Life man.