Exception

By: Aviantei

87. The Intervention of Ari, Lenalee, and Allen

The cast: Ivy, Ari, Lenalee, and Allen. The location: Science Lab 3, which Lenalee had tacit permission to swipe a key for should she need it, so long as it wasn't in use by a class. While Lenalee had never used it to skip class or anything, she had used it on occasion to get some alone time during her free period or lunch if she just wasn't in the mood for all the hustle and bustle a cafeteria full of high schoolers could make. It had also been, when she was younger, her secret hideout after school while she waited for Komui to be done with work for the day so that they could both go home together.

And, on the day in question, it was being used as the setting for talking Ivy through her relationship stresses!

"Now," Lenalee said, acting as de facto leader of the secret meeting because Lavi wasn't present. She hadn't been the Commodore to his Colonel for nothing! "I'm not gonna tell you to worry in general, because that's silly. People worry all the time whenever they get into a relationship or get ready for a new milestone, so that's normal." At least according to the magazine she had been reading. Sure, the things weren't always accurate, but Lenalee liked to think that she could sort out the trash from the treasure in most cases. "But if you're worried about Alma, then that means something happened."

"Um, sorry to interrupt, but who's Alma?" Allen asked. Even Ari had her head quirked in confusion, which was saying something. She did know how to show some restraint, and, while she'd known Kanda for longer, his absolute refusal to talk about his past was something she hadn't pushed in favor of other concerns, such as pretty British boys she still had a crush on.

Lenalee hummed. "Yeah, you two wouldn't know. I don't even think Lavi has any idea." Which was saying something, given just how much of a nibshit the guy was, but Kanda had made his stance (violently) clear, so Lenalee was the only one who had a pass. That piece of info made Ivy feel just a bit touched that Kanda had trusted her with it in the first place, no matter what other complicated feelings she had on the situation were. "Well, I'm not gonna get too into it, because that's Kanda's business and not mine, but in short, Alma is someone that Kanda grew up with."

"Okay," Ari said, "that's a good start, but what does this have to do with Ivy-san worrying about moving in together with Kanda-san?"

"Because Alma has had a crush on Kanda forever."

Ohhhh, Ari and Allen thought in unison, though that was about where their synchronization on the matter started to differ. Ari, while of course she was on Ivy's side, was excited at the prospect of drama, while Allen was just a bit too stunned to think that two people could have romantic feelings for Kanda to even process. As such, it was Ari who broke the silence and said, "And, given how Kanda-san is, he has no idea?"

Lenalee nodded. "I mean, from what little I saw of them together, Alma's always been like that, telling Kanda that they love him. So think about it. Kanda's been way more relaxed since you and he have started dating, Ivy-chan, but he was way more abrasive when he was younger. Do you think that, after hearing that for years from some optimistic kid, he'd believe it?" Yeah, no, there was no winning that one for Alma, or at least not in the past. But if things were in the present, where Kanda was much more open to affection…

Did I accidentally make it way easier for Alma-san to have a shot with Yū-kun?!

"H-hey, Ivy-san, calm down," Allen said, catching her before she could spiral way more into her thoughts. "Kanda's a jerk, yeah, but there's no way he'd ever cheat on you or anything. Besides, if Kanda hasn't noticed so far, it's not like he'll all of a sudden catch on or anything, right?" Allen had chosen the nickname/insult Bakanda for a reason!

Ari nodded along, patting Ivy's shoulder in the process. "Yeah, if he doesn't get it from having all that attention showered on him, it's gonna take a confession for Kanda-san to even notice in the first place!" Ivy flinched, already regretting her life decisions even more than she had been before. "And, I mean, does this Alma-san know you and Kanda-san are a thing? It would take some real guts to confess to someone that you know already has a partner!"

The look on Ivy's face had been growing more and more dire by the second, and an uncomfortable feeling was settling into the room. They may have had the backstory exposition in place, but Ari, Lenalee, and Allen were all missing the critical info of recent developments. "Ivy-chan," Lenalee said, her voice kind but firm, "what aren't you telling us?"

"I…" Oh, god, fuck could she just have a break for once? No?! "Alma-san…might've told me that they were in love with Yū-kun." That on its own was enough of a bombshell, but these kids hadn't seen nothing, yet! "And I…might've told them that instead of feeling sorry for themself, they should just confess to Yū-kun and let him decide what he wanted to do about it." With the others all staring at her, Ivy started to crack under the pressure. "I know it was dumb, okay? Who the hell tells someone else to confess to their boyfriend?! But the way they were talking about just letting shit linger was too much to me, and I panicked!"

The idea of Ivy being so worked up to the point of making a panic decision might've been much more surprising if everyone wasn't in the middle of watching her get worked up that very second. She wasn't bawling or anything, but there was the faint shimmer of stress tears in her eyes, which lowkey had Allen worried.

"Hey, hey, it's gonna be alright," Lenalee said, joining Ari in giving Ivy a hug from both sides. "You did that because you didn't want Alma-san to regret not being honest with their feelings, right? I think that's super admirable and brave!"

"Yeah!" Ari added. "Sure not the choice I would've made, but you gotta do you!"

Allen sweat-dropped. "Ari-san, I'm not sure that's helpful…" Well, part of Ari's charm was her bluntness, so no sense in arguing. "Do you think that's happened yet, though, Ivy-san?" Ivy shook her head, but she couldn't be sure about the whole thing, either. She wanted to believe that Kanda would tell her if it did happen, but she could also understand if he didn't, and the whole thing was just too much on its own, let alone with everything else happening on top of it.

"Well, sitting around and not saying anything to him isn't going to make things any better!" Lenalee said, which had been her whole point in bringing Ivy to Science Lab 3 in the first place. Yeah, would just waiting for things to pass be easier? Sure, but that didn't mean it was the best thing to do. "If you're serious about Kanda, you need to communicate with him about your worries. I get if you don't want to out Alma's feelings, but you can at least express some concern about it. That's gonna be way better than moving in together and feeling even more awkward. Your bootcamp is going to be figuring out the best way to ask with us around so we can give you feedback and be your wingpeople! Heck, you don't even have to ask Kanda alone if you don't want to." Lenalee squeezed Ivy's hands, both Ari and Allen adding to the atmosphere by giving supportive smiles. "Whatever you need to kick butt, we've got this!"

Ivy laughed, that starting to make the boulder of stress in her chest erode, just a little. "I'm not so sure that I should be aiming to kick Yū-kun's butt."

"Hey, if he breaks your heart, then he deserves at least a little bit of butt kicking!"

"For sure! I can even steal his kneecaps if you need me to!"

"That's…pretty specific," Allen said, feeling just a bit off-put by Ari's enthusiastic intensity. "But, Ivy-san, you're not alone in anything. This sort of stuff is what friends are for."

"Everyone…" At the rate things were going, Ivy was going to end up crying for real, and that would just be mortifying. Never one to lose, though, she took a deep breath and steeled her resolve. "Alright. I'm not going to be able to talk with him much this week, since Klaud Nine's going to be pulling me out of classes early to get our moving stuff settled, but it's better to have an idea of what I'm going to say in the first place, right? What all do you think?"

And so, for the remainder of their lunch period, the emotional support/secret bootcamp began.

Kanda thought he was justified in saying that he'd had a weird-ass couple of days. For one, there was Tiedoll's sudden announcement that Ivy would be staying with them for the next couple of months due to her apartment situation, so that was surreal enough on its own. Given that Ari's comment had had the couple thinking about the idea anyways, the timing had felt like just a bit too much. Considering that neither of them had had any issue with the concept, it wasn't bad, but it was just a sudden life change with no time to process that it was going to be real, so those two things combined were already enough to make someone's head spin.

And then there had been the text from Lenalee:

[We're borrowing Ivy-chan for the next few days. Promise to get her home safe! ;)]

No explanation.

No details.

No Ivy or anyone else in their friend group hanging around during breakfast, lunch, or even their free periods.

Given that Kanda was the most antisocial of introverts, even on a good day, the situation wasn't the worst. With all the chaos before and upcoming with preparing for the move, the opportunity to rest and recharge was no doubt for the best. It irked him a bit to all of a sudden be without Ivy's presence (since she was one of the few people in the world who didn't drain his social battery), but Kanda had preoccupied himself with getting caught up with his schoolwork and helping Tiedoll clean up one of the spare bedrooms in the house to aid with the moving in process. And, yet, that work hadn't taken all that long, and even keeping up with his usual meditation and workouts hadn't been enough to fill up the time, so he went and occupied himself with his other go-to: visiting Alma.

Which, given the news Kanda had brought along with him, he should've anticipated it being a headache.

"So you and Ivy-chan are gonna be living together now? That's so exciting!" Alma was in full hyper mode at the prospect; Kanda had never even thought about relationships before, so getting to watch him go through it from a front-row seat was brand spanking new territory!

"Don't get so worked up or you're gonna wear yourself out," Kanda said, and it was only thirty-percent to hide his embarrassment! The remaining seventy-percent was out of concern for Alma's health; just because they were having a good day didn't mean they couldn't go overboard. The hospital staff had hoped that maybe, once Alma got older, they'd calm down and be less prone to such outbursts, but that hope had been dashed pretty quick. Alma pouted, but they complied and leaned back into their pillows. "It's not that big of a deal…"

"But it is a big deal. That's why you're so worried about it right now." Damn Alma and his ability to see right down to the core of Kanda's emotions. It could be beyond inconvenient some days. Alma's mischievous smile came out in full force. "My best friend is growing up so fast. I'm gonna be left all behind here."

"No, you're not, dumbass," Kanda said. Yes, he knew Alma was joking, but it was never a good time to let those kinds of thoughts linger further than necessary. Having known Kanda the longest, Alma knew the bluntness of his response was just about as reassuring as the words that had been spoken, and that was enough to make them smile. "Besides, it's not like this was planned or anything." All things considered, it was a little disappointing, because Kanda wouldn't have minded talking the whole thing over and making a decision together, but that wasn't to be, so there was no sense with complaining since he didn't dislike the agreement.

"Okay, yeah, but that's what makes it all the more exciting! This way, it feels a bit like it was meant to be, right?" Yes, Alma would eat that shit up if given the chance, and this was Kanda we were talking about! Besides, it wasn't like Alma was going to get the opportunity to move in with anyone else anytime soon, so they were going to live vicariously through their bestie, and no one could stop them! "Ah, Ivy-chan's so lucky. I wanna move in with Yū, too."

"Yeah, that would've been nice, huh?" While Kanda hadn't appreciated it much at the time, being an antisocial kiddo and all, he did look back on the time he and Alma spent together as kids with plenty of fondness. Being able to grow up together instead of apart was something the both of them thought about. "How have you been these days, though? You can't be worse if I'm getting to see you, but you haven't talked much about your condition recently." Which Alma wasn't obligated to do or anything, but Kanda was allowed to express some care for his friend, dammit!

It was a good thing that Alma knew Kanda so well, because they could see the concern waiting under that statement, and it was enough to make them smile. "Like you said, I'm not getting worse, but there hasn't been any breakthroughs on when I might get better, though. I heard that there's some new research happening that might be able to help, but you know how that stuff goes…" After all, Kanda had benefitted from work like that, but there had also been plenty of treatments that had gotten him nowhere, too. Alma let out a sigh that wasn't anywhere close to their usual displays of dramaticism. "Yū, can I level with you for a bit?"

"Mn. Go ahead."

"Sometimes I wish I was out of here." Alma didn't sound upset, but there was a bit of longing in their voice, and even that bit of change from their usual cheer was beyond obvious for anyone, let alone for someone that had known Alma as long as Kanda did. "Like, of course I'm happy that you're happy! I want all the good things for you! And I'd never ask you to do something like stay in here with me just so I could have your company. But, I dunno, sometimes I wish I could've gone to school with you, or hung out somewhere that wasn't in a hospital, or…" The words failed to form on Alma's tongue, them unable to shake the knowledge that, while Kanda was out, living his life, he'd found someone else that he'd loved.

I wish that could've been me.

I don't want to get in the way of your happiness, but I really, really, really wish that could've been me.

But wouldn't saying that now make them the worst? Alma had cared about Kanda since, like, forever, and they'd had plenty of chances, long before Ivy had even come into the picture. Sure, Alma was certain they would've gotten rejected—because who the hell was going to agree to a partner stuck in the hospital like them?—but it would've been better to clear the air and have the chance to move on, instead of the limbo they'd been stuck in and was getting worse by the day.

After all, there was no greater recipe for rumination than considering "What if?"

"Hey," Kanda said, recognizing that Alma was teetering on the edge of a melancholy that they hadn't slipped into for a long, long time. Kanda's voice snapped Alma back to attention, and they blinked as they stared at their best-friend/crush. "Whatever you're thinking, you can tell me. You know I didn't handle being stuck in the hospital well, and I was here way less time than you. And I know you've always managed yourself well, and you're way too optimistic sometimes, but if something's bothering you, it's way better to let it out than letting it fester." Alma's throat felt tight, and they clutched the blankets. "Or, you know, don't. Do whatever you like. But if you need someone to listen, I can do it. It's not like you haven't talked my ear off over the years, anyways."

"Yū…" Alma couldn't help but smile, though it was still a bit sad in the end. It was the way Kanda approached things—gruff, but his care still coming through—that had made Alma start to like-like him in the first place, and it still got to him all these years later. "It's nothing, just something silly—"

But I think you owe it to yourself to at least say something instead of letting those feelings fester around inside you, Ivy said in their mind, So I'm giving you permission.

"No," Alma said, and Kanda didn't interrupt, just quirked his bow to let the silent question rest there while Alma gathered their thoughts. "It's not nothing, and it's not silly. It's…something I've been thinking for a long time and I wanna get off my chest. Can you listen?" Kanda's deadpan expression was answer enough, and Alma didn't know why they'd expected anything different. They let out a nervous laugh, took a deep breath, and then decided to take the plunge. "Alright, here it goes:

"I love you."

[Author's Notes]

Just went through getting my laptop keyboard replaced, so I'm gonna nyoom out of this one since I have an appointment to get to soon. But it sure feels good to be able to type like a normal person again.

Next Time: "88. (In)actions Have Consequences." Please look forward to it!

-Avi

[1 February 2025]