Friday 28th May 1982
Remus and Dora's Flat, 10:00
She was drumming her fingers on the side table trying not to think too much. Because if she thought about it too much then she was going to get annoyed and that wasn't going to be good for anyone, trust her. Too bad you couldn't just flip off a switch and turn off your thoughts. That would be extremely useful. But no, the brain didn't work that way. Which, of course, meant that by thinking of not thinking about it meant that that was all she could think about. Gah. Did any of that even make sense? She didn't even care anymore. Answers, that's all she wanted. And she wasn't getting any. She sighed loudly but even that didn't make her feel better.
"Shouldn't we have heard something back by now?" Dora asked.
Remus looked up from his newspaper, a look of confusion on his face.
"Heard something from who?"
Was she talking about his recent job search? That's what he was doing at the moment, going through all of the ads and trying to weigh up if he would actually get any of them. There was no point wasting time if he thought that he wasn't even going to be considered.
"From Banbridge!" She said in an exasperated tone like it should be obvious. "Or someone from the legal department at the Ministry."
Knowing he wasn't going to be allowed to read the newspaper for a while, he folded it up and put it on the windowsill. He would have to keep an eye on it because Teddy could reach there and would quite happily grab it and go racing off with it, trailing bits of pages behind him as he went.
"I'm pretty sure the Ministry has multiple legal departments."
"The court system then!"
"Why would we hear from the court system?"
"I don't know! It involves us? I'm related to Sirius? Marlene is... is his partner!"
She was still his partner even though he was in prison, right? That's how it worked? She didn't know. It wasn't like Marlene had denounced him or anything. Oh, that wasn't important. What was important was they had heard nothing. Nothing.
"I'm pretty sure that they'd communicate with Banbridge rather than us. You know, considering he's a part of the legal system and all."
"Then it all comes back to him! Why haven't we heard from him?"
"Maybe nothing's happened yet."
"How could nothing happen! It's been ages."
Okay, she knew that was an exaggeration but it didn't matter because that's what it felt like.
"It really hasn't."
He looked amused at this. This was not something you should be amused about. And what did it matter how long it had actually been, wasn't how long it felt the most important thing here? And no, that wasn't her being irrational, this was her being annoyed by how long all of this was taking. It should be much quicker considering how important this was!
"It should be illegal for something to go this slowly!"
"I'm pretty sure that the whole point of government is to move slowly," he joked, trying to get a smile from her, it didn't work.
In fact, it just made her more annoyed. Why wasn't he taking this seriously like her?
"Look, I'm just as worried and impatient," Remus said like he could read her thoughts (creepy). "But going over it again and again and badgering Banbridge isn't going to do anything."
"It might make me feel better."
"It won't and you know it."
She sighed heavily. She did. She did know it. Didn't mean that she was willing to admit it.
"It might," she said sulkily.
"For all of a minute."
Saturday 5th June 1982
Longbottom Manor, 07:00
Alice used all of her upbringing to stop herself from drumming her fingers against her glass of orange juice. Apparently, it was meant to make your day start off right according to Frank. It was a bit too sharp for her tastes but she was humouring him. Pumpkin juice would soon be making a reappearance and the breakfast table, she was sure. There was no way he could drink that every day. It was too odd and Frank didn't tend to do odd. He did like trying new things, which is why they were trying this, but he always reverted back to the old. She just had to wait. She could do that. These days, weeks, months, had proved that she was very good at waiting.
Oh, she didn't want to think about that, thinking about waiting was never a good thing especially when you were still waiting. And waiting. And waiting. It was like they were waiting for the worst to happen to them while also hoping that it wouldn't. All with the backdrop of life going on for everyone else so it was almost silly that they were still in hiding. Of course, they weren't actually silly, the threat was definitely still there. Just last week they'd got word of some mid-level Death Eaters breaking into someone's home and murdering them because they were trying to hide out. Thankfully, they had been caught and would be put on trial soon. All that proved was that they were right to do what they were doing. If that was what Death Eaters were doing just because the opportunity arose, who knew what some of the more skilled ones would do? It just didn't bear thinking about.
In fact, Alice was going to put it from her mind and think about other things. Like this orange juice that Frank was currently enamoured with. Just where did he get such ideas? And where did he get the orange juice? Did he just ask the House Elves to squeeze some? Weren't they out of season though? Oh, what did it matter?
She just about stopped herself from sighing loudly. That would be rude. She really, really wanted to get away from the breakfast table but she couldn't just excuse herself like that. Not when Frank hadn't even finished his breakfast. That would just raise questions and she didn't want any questions. No. Questions would not be good. Especially since she wouldn't be able to answer them truthfully and she didn't like to lie. Except, wasn't that what she was doing? By not telling Frank what she was thinking? How she was feeling? It was still lying even if she didn't say anything, wasn't it? Sort of. Oh, she didn't know. And technically she had said something when he asked if she was okay. She had said no. She had very plainly said no to him. Right to his face. And hadn't even felt that guilty about it. Oh, that made her such a horrible person. What sort of wife lied to her husband like that? She was supposed to be a good wife.
It was raining outside. It was damp and grey and not at all pleasant today. Very much like her mood, she supposed. If she wanted to be dramatic, that was. She didn't tend to be a dramatic person but the weather really wasn't helping. Would it really hurt for it to be dry? She supposed that she was going to go to the greenhouse as soon as she could so technically the weather didn't matter, she was going to be undercover. She'd rather not have to put on a heavy cloak with a hood to get there though, it just felt so unnecessary. And it would be annoying to wear in the greenhouse and try and get it stored away. It wasn't like she could leave it on the floor and wearing such a cloak was not something she wanted to do in the warm greenhouse. That was asking to be uncomfortable and who would choose to be uncomfortable when they were gardening? Certainly not her. Maybe she should think about putting hooks in there, or a little cupboard for storing cloaks. It would be functional and keep everything neat. Prevent puddles of water on the floor. That would be a good idea. She would have to ask the House Elves.
The thing was, she didn't really have anything to do. Sure, she wanted to go out into the greenhouses but there was no urgency for her to get there. Nothing needed transplanted, she'd done that yesterday. Nothing even needed watered because the House Elves took care of that. One of the few things she did allow them to do in the greenhouse. She just wanted to be away from the table. Away from Frank, she though guiltily. Yes, she actually thought that. How horrible was she? What sort of wife wanted to be away from her husband? So frequently too? But she did and she couldn't help her thoughts, could she?
Maybe she could excuse herself to the bathroom or something. That way she could be away from the table temporarily but then she would have to come back. Which she didn't want to do but it wouldn't make Frank suspicious. It would give her a bit of breathing space. Even though it went against all of her upbringing to excuse herself from the table for such a reason. One always prepared oneself for attending a meal beforehand. You would just have to wait until after if the unfortunate need arose. Demonstrate some control. She shook her head, trying to unhear her mother's voice. She didn't need that on top of her own thoughts, thank you very much.
Frank watched his wife as unobtrusively as he could from behind his newspaper. He was, had been, an Auror. He could do things unobtrusively. Of course, his wife had also been one so technically she should have been able to tell that she was being observed but apparently not. Hopefully it was because this was in their home and she felt safe and a bit of staring from your husband was expected and not because she was completely disengaged from the world around her. Something he was becoming increasingly worried that she was.
Did she really think that she was fooling him? Did she really believe that he thought that she was okay? Because he didn't believe that. He didn't believe that at all. His wife was definitely not okay and he didn't know why she wasn't telling him this. He didn't even know what was wrong with her.
He didn't know what was wrong with her, what kind of a husband was he? A bad one. That made him a bad husband. He didn't want to be a bad husband, he wanted to be a good one. He tried so hard to be a good one. Except he wasn't because he had no idea what was wrong with his wife and he didn't know how to get her to tell him. He should at least be able to do that, righ5?
That was the problem, he didn't know what to do. Surely, he should know what to do? How to get her to open up? Except, he couldn't think to anything no matter how hard he tried.
She used to tell him everything. He used to tell her everything. And he still did. Except for his worry for her. He didn't want to tell her that. That wouldn't help, it would just make her defensive. Or make her worry about him which he didn't want. There was nothing for her to worry about. Just him. Because she was the one acting strangely.
She fidgeted win her napkin on her lap again, something she never did. Sometimes he really wished he was skilled at Leglimency.
Wednesday 9th June 1982
Auror Department, 13:00
Dora tried not to sigh too heavily at her desk. Ask her again Why she wanted to become an Auror and have seemingly endless paperwork again? This is what sucked about being a junior Auror, you couldn't really get involved in anything, you were used solely for manpower and that's it.
She should know better than to have any sort of expectations for work. No way was ever the same. Between Aurors preparing for trials, organising Death Eater hunts, actually being away tracking down Death Eaters, you never knew just who was going to be in the office on any given day. Case in point, be bloke who was normally in the opposite cubicle hadn't been there for at least a week. Was he on holiday? On an assignment? Sick? On the run? Who knew? Certainly not her. And she doubted anyone else knew either, people had kind of given up keeping track of people they weren't directly working with because of the amount of work there was. No one had the energy for it.
Sometimes she couldn't help but feel abandoned though. Like no one actually knew she was here. Which was ridiculous because she was currently sporting violently purple hair - You couldn't help but see her. But still, Marlene didn't have a shift at the same time as her and neither did Kingsley, though she didn't really know the guy that well but at least he made a point to say hi to her.
"Hey, Tonks, I didn't think you were at your desk today!"
She groaned and let her head rest on her desk. Seriously? She'd only been joking when she said she was invisible. Gah.
"Day going that well?" Gleeson asked with a laugh.
"Shut up."
"And here I was thinking that you might want someone to chat with."
"You didn't even know I was here."
"But you are and I'm always willing to talk."
She lifted her head up to look at him and snorted.
"You like to gossip, that's what you mean."
"Poh-tay-toh, poh-tah-toh. If you don't want to, I can always leave -" and he turned his body as if he was going to do just that.
"No, don't! I need some human contact!"
"That bad, huh?" He asked slipping into her cubicle.
"He's off and he's paired with someone in the field," she grumbled, nodding at the desks of her two cubicle-mates.
Yes, there were three of them instead of two. Because they were all Junior Aurors and you only got more space if you had a higher rank. Not that the cubicles got that much more space when you lost a desk but whatever. Being able to move freely between desks would be good. The three in here were lined up in front of each other like they were in school.
"Thought you'd be with Moody."
She frowned, feeling oddly defensive.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Gleeson shrugged. "Nothing. Unless there's something going on?"
He waggled his eyebrows in a way that made her feel vaguely queasy. She threw a quill at him; it got him right in the forehead leaving a satisfying inky spot.
"Don't be disgusting," she said at the same time he went, "Hey!"
"It's your own fault!"
Why would he even insinuate something like that? That was disgusting! She shuddered at the idea. Please let no one else think like that and Gleeson was just being incredibly stupid.
"Sorry," he offered up, now looking vaguely disgusted.
His mouth must have engaged before his brain, like her mother always said to her. Still, that didn't give him an excuse to say something like that! Gross!
"Why would you even say something like that?"
"It was supposed to be a joke!"
"That wasn't a joke, that was disgusting!"
"I know! I said I was sorry!"
"Not good Enough! Now I need to bleach my brain or obligate myself or Something!"
She really didn't need thoughts like that running around her head! Gross!
"Look, I was just trying to say that you spend a lot of time with Moody so we don't even expect you to be at your desk these days."
Had she really gone off with Moody that many times? And was it really that odd? Older Aurors tended to take younger ones under their wing, promising ones at least so surely this kind of behaviour wasn't odd? She didn't think so. And obviously Moody saw nothing wrong with it or else he wouldn't be showing her stuff. That and she was pretty sure Gleeson was exaggerating. She worked at her desk. Did paperwork. Too much paperwork.
But if she wasn't doing paperwork she was with Moody. Either he was teaching her something or she was out in the field or processing evidence with him. Or, rather, him telling her off for how she processed evidence. Nothing she did was ever exactly right apparently. Was she really with Moody a lot? Was that why she didn't seem to get working with any other Senior Auror? But Moody was in the field a lot without her or any other Junior Auror. These Death Eater raids coming up were just too important. Argh. When did life get so complicated? Then she remembered Gleeson, who was looking at her with an amused look on his face.
"Well, I'm here now."
"You are," he agreed, sounding almost mocking, which she ignored.
"Want to grab lunch?"
He shrugged and looked at the clock. "Why not?"