Chapter 29: Aftermath

After spending forever lost in a hazy void of nothingness, the tiniest bit of awareness slowly started returning to me. How much time had passed, I had no idea. Scattered images and senses drifted to the front of my mind—a dizzying patchwork of memories that I wasn't entirely sure were mine. A burst of cold before falling out of the sky. Someone's Charizard tearing a man limb from limb. A giant silver bird soaring overhead, eyes flashing murderously.

Something deep inside gave a terrified lurch at that last image as a flood of memories spilled out of my head. I saw a violet Pokéball strike the bird, and somehow knew that I was the one who'd thrown it. Saw the terrified look on its face when it realized what had happened. Saw that terror distort first into fiery rage, then into cold hatred as it flicked a single feather and tore my existence to shreds.

I sucked in a breath as my head split open again just from the thought. That had actually happened. I'd really done that. And then Lugia had… It had…

A thick haze of fear and regret suddenly flooded my mind. No. No way. I couldn't be dead. No. I was still here, wasn't I? And… and I could still move, right? Right? But… when I tried to, my body felt distant and unresponsive, like it wasn't even there. Almost. A dull, aching pain consumed every inch of me, and the idea of trying to fight that pain was too exhausting to think about.

Wait. If I could still feel my body's pain, then—

At once my eyes snapped open and I sat bolt upright, then immediately regretted it as a wave of dizziness struck and I clutched my forehead for dear life. I sat there, heart drumming uncomfortably and head spinning from the sudden movement, but most importantly, very much not dead. Hard as it was to believe.

It took several seconds for me to pry my eyes open again and take a proper look at my actual surroundings. When I did, I found that I was… in a hospital room? With a Pidgeot standing next to my bed and an Absol sprawled out on the floor.

Swift beamed. "*You're awake.*"

"*Told you two she wasn't gonna die,*" Stygian said, yawning widely.

The Pidgeot gave her a bemused look. "*You were not so confident of that before we got here.*" The dark-type scowled at his comment and rotated herself so that she was facing the wall.

I coughed as a random jolt of pain shot down my spine, followed by my legs clenching up and my vision going dead for a second. Right, okay, sitting up—way too draining. I slowly sank back against my pillow, willing myself to relax as muscles kept twitching and random senses blinked in and out. Swift was saying something, but the tones were all distorted and I couldn't make out any words without the tones.

"*—shouldn't push yourself,*" he finished.

I gave him a weak smile. "Wasn't planning on it." But then I couldn't help glancing around at the unfamiliar scenery. "Where are we, anyways?"

"*Some human building,*" came Stygian's muffled reply. Yes, because that narrowed it down. Shouldn't have expected Pokémon to know or care about such things. At the very least, the sunlight streaming through the drapes told me I'd been out cold all night (maybe longer?). I glanced at my watch—it was a little past noon on Tuesday. So I'd been out for less than a day, at least. But sixteen hours was still a long time to be unconscious.

My eyes fell on Swift's left wing. It was folded at his side, good as new. "At least it looks like whoever brought us here healed you guys," I said.

"*Fed us too,*" Stygian piped up, only slightly concealing the satisfaction in her voice.

I smiled. "That's good."

And then, I finally noticed the small, spiky yellow shape curled up in the blankets alongside me. I stared at it for a few seconds, not entirely convinced that I wasn't just imagining it. But no, it was really Chibi. I wasn't sure if a part of me had expected to never see him again after he ran off during the fight, but…

"I'm glad you're here."

For several seconds, he didn't give any indication that he'd heard me. He might have even been asleep. But then, the Pikachu's ears flattened against his head. Slowly, he turned to glare at me out of the corner of one eye.

"*Don't ever do anything that stupid again,*" he growled.

I glanced away sheepishly. He wasn't wrong—it was stupid. And now that I finally had a chance to think about what had happened, and how he'd reacted at the time… I'd really scared him, hadn't I? Almost as much as he'd scared me when he ran off.

"I'm sorry," I said.

After a long moment, the hybrid relaxed slightly, ears lifting, fur lowering. "*I'm glad you're here too,*" he said quietly. Then he paused, like he wanted to say something else, but was having a hard time finding the right words. "*…I was lying.*"

I tilted my head, confused.

"*When I said that I didn't need you,*" Chibi went on. "*That was a lie.*"

Oh. The conversation in Goldenrod. The one that had hurt far more than I was willing to admit.

His paws gripped the sheets tightly. "*I can't lose you too. I won't.*"

I couldn't really explain why, but I found myself reaching out and stroking the fur on the Pikachu's back. It was a weird thing to do, and moving my arm felt sluggish and unnatural. But in that moment, it just felt right. I half expected him to glare at me or swat my hand away, but he didn't. He didn't protest either. He just curled up into the sheets again, and within minutes, his breathing grew soft and steady like he'd fallen asleep.

I wasn't quite sure how much time had passed, but eventually, the door swung open and in walked a woman dressed in a brightly-colored uniform covered in belts and pouches. Her tired eyes and mile-a-minute movement gave off the impression of someone who'd been working all night and was only functional thanks to caffeine.

"Good, you're awake, I was worried I'd have to come back later again. My name's Jen, I probably don't look it, but I'm your nurse," she said rather quickly while removing her gloves and washing her hands at the sink. "Our staff's been stretched pretty thin thanks to the disaster, and I just got back from working in the field, so you'll have to excuse the getup."

I blinked. Her outfit was the least of my questions. "Where am I?" I asked.

"Medical wing of Viridian's Pokémon Ranger HQ," she replied, grabbing a chair from the wall and pulling it over to my bedside.

Ranger HQ? Not where I would have guessed. Though it did explain the uniform. But then the rest of what she'd said began stirring up memories in my still-clouded mind. Things that had been there, buried underneath the rush of pain and fear from my last conscious memory. The entire reason I'd been in harm's way to begin with.

"Wait, what happened?! Is Viridian still in danger?!" I exclaimed, sitting bolt upright.

She raised both hands disarmingly. "Calm down, calm down, everything's under control. The attack stopped hours ago, and we're all still busy helping out with the recovery effort."

I settled back against the pillow, head already spinning and having to force back a wave of nausea. I grabbed my face with both hands and took a few deep breaths to try to steady myself. Why did something as simple as moving have to suck so much? The nurse offered me a plastic cup of water and I took it gratefully, grasping it with both hands and downing it in just a few gulps. It wasn't until that moment that I realized I was probably thirstier than I'd been in my entire life. I handed it back, immediately wishing I had more. But she just picked up a clipboard and began writing something onto it.

"Why am I here?" I asked.

Jen raised an eyebrow. "Well I don't know if you've noticed your condition, but…"

I shook my head (ow, why) and said, "Er… that's not—how did I get here?"

"Ahh, I know what you meant. Your friends brought you here. Anyway, enough worrying about that. Your scans came back normal, but now that you're awake, I need to run you through some tests."

Scans? I'd been scanned while I was unconscious? I guess that made sense, but it was still a strange thing to hear.

"What kind of tests?" I asked warily.

"I've got to check your motor skills, senses, balance, coordination, reflexes—things like that. If there's any nerve damage, we want to know."

I clenched my teeth. Somehow, in the wave of relief I'd felt just from waking up alive, it hadn't occurred to me that my current state could be permanent. I really, really hoped not.

Jen went on to run me through a hopelessly long list of actions that seemed to go on forever. Bending my limbs in certain ways, holding things, pushing against her hands, you name it. She tapped various instruments on my joints to check the response and had me identify various sensations, from cold to hot to sharp. And in between giving instructions and taking notes on a clipboard, she talked almost constantly. My suspicion that she'd been up all night had proven to be correct, but when I asked why she didn't just trade off with someone else, she said that everyone on the force had been working just as long. Even after the Legendary attack had ended, the recovery effort wasn't going to be over any time soon.

Standing up to check my balance was definitely the worst part of the exam, as my legs had apparently decided to become gelatin and refuse orders… at least at first. With each movement, it was like they were remembering more and more how to be legs. But by that point I'd started to feel lightheaded again and had to sit back down.

"So… how bad is it?" I asked, wincing.

Jen tapped her fingers on her clipboard with a thoughtful look. "Well, you've got some pretty obvious psychic sickness, but thankfully it doesn't look like there's any nerve damage. Looks like whatever got you was only trying to cause pain. Oh, that reminds me—can you tell me what Pokémon attacked you? None of your friends had any idea."

My throat closed up and my heart dropped like a stone. Couldn't tell her it was Lugia. Had to think of something else. Anything else, but my brain chose that moment to conveniently forget the names of every other psychic Pokémon in existence.

"It was dark. Didn't see it."

Jen tilted her head, and for a second, I was sure she was going to call me on the obvious lie. But then she just clicked her tongue and said, "Shame, that would've made it easier to treat. Oh well, like I said, no long-term damage, so you got off lucky, eh? We'll have you stay here another night to make sure, though. You'll probably feel random dizziness and numbness throughout the day but be sure to give a holler if anything worse crops up."

I nodded softly. At least doing that didn't hurt.

"Anyway, before you leave—or whenever you feel comfortable holding a pen—I'll need you to fill out some paperwork. I got as much info as I could from the friends who brought you here, but I need a little more from you, plus your signature on a few things. Also…" She paused, and this time her expression grew more serious. "I couldn't help but notice you don't have any legal ID. Seeing as you're a minor, that wouldn't normally be a big deal. But then there's the fact that you have Pokémon…"

My stomach dropped through the floor. Not this. Not now. I was supposed to have gotten a license by now! But then everything had happened with Starr, and then we'd had to go to Johto and then—

Jen sighed, eyeing me closely. "Look, technically our organization is separate from the Pokémon League, so while I could report you, League bureaucracy isn't exactly my biggest concern, especially right now. I just need to know if there's any reason you shouldn't have Pokémon. Like if you had your license taken away, or—?"

"Of course not!" I cried. "I just… I failed the exam, that's all. But that was a long time ago, and I've learned a lot since then! You—you can ask my Pokémon if you don't believe me," I said, gesturing wildly in their direction even as my limbs protested.

But Jen's face softened, and she chuckled a bit. "Relax, I'm just giving you a hard time. Just… do me a favor and go get your license after you leave here, okay?"

I stared downward, cheeks burning red. "Right. Okay." No more delays, then. I was finally going to get one. But first… "You said my friends brought me here. Can I see them?"

Jen gave me a curious look, but then she stood up and said, "Alright. I'll send for them." Then she stood up and exited the room.

I didn't have to wait long. Even with my hazy time sense, I could at least trust my watch. A few minutes later, the door swung open and Starr practically burst into the room, storming over to me with such conviction that I half expected I was about to be punched. But instead she flopped down into the chair next to my bed and grabbed my hand so hard I thought she was going to crush it.

"Dammit Jade, don't ever scare me like that ever again, you hear me?" she snapped, staring me dead in the eyes.

"I didn't mean to," I mumbled sheepishly, glancing away.

"Glad to see you awake," Ajia said with a smile, shutting the door behind her and taking a few steps toward us. Starr still had my hand in an iron grip and I suspected I wouldn't be getting it back anytime soon. And by now my mind had finally cleared enough to realize that I had about a million questions.

"How did you guys find me?" I asked.

"Number nine," Starr replied.

I blinked, throwing a sideways glance at where he was sleeping. "Wait, what? How did he…?"

"Starr and I met up near the end of the fight," Ajia explained. "She wasn't sure where you'd gone, and we were getting ready to go looking for you. Then your Pikachu and Absol came running up to us, and… they said you'd been attacked by a Legendary," she finished, her expression turning grim.

"We thought you were dead," Starr said bluntly, fixing me with a very serious stare.

My chest tightened. A distant, echoing shadow of the psychic blast radiated throughout my whole body. I couldn't help visualizing it. Ajia and Starr following my Pokémon out of the forest and seeing me lying there, presumably dead, because what else could they have expected if I'd been attacked by a Legendary. And Chibi knowing that it was my own damn fault, but apparently not saying anything.

"Did they… say anything else?" I asked cautiously.

"You implying there's something else we should know?" Starr asked, raising an eyebrow.

I closed my eyes, massaging my forehead with my left hand. "Never mind. I'm still out of it." That answered that question at least. But something still didn't add up. Even if they hadn't revealed why I'd been attacked, what about the Master Ball cannon I'd been wearing? That would have been a dead giveaway.

"What happened with the Legendary battle?" I asked, desperate to get my mind off that topic.

That question finally got Ajia's eyes to light up. "Our efforts worked. You two plus Suicune took down enough of their offenses that once their evacuation was done, the combat unit gave up on trying to capture any of the others and retreated. Mew finally managed to convince Mewtwo to lay off after that, and the others followed him."

I blinked at her in disbelief. Our efforts had worked? We'd actually made a difference? Part of me couldn't help feeling cheated that I hadn't gotten to see it. And I still couldn't help feeling like there had to be more to it than just that. Lugia had left me alone—why?

"Mew told me you rescued Suicune, by the way," Ajia added with a reassuring smile. "She wanted to thank you, since you'd never hear that from Suicune itself."

Right. I had rescued Suicune. Or at least, Stygian had, but I'd been going for it too, she'd just gotten there first.

"Hey, did you hear her? We won. You can stop looking so miserable," Starr said, nudging my shoulder with her free arm.

I was about to protest, but honestly? She was right. There was no point dwelling on all the things that had gone wrong when so much had actually gone right. All three of us were still alive, and none of the Legendaries had been captured. It really was the best we could have hoped for.

"So why'd you guys bring me to the Ranger HQ anyway?" I asked.

Ajia grinned and held up two fingers. "Two reasons. Hospital was overfilled. And I'm familiar with this place since my dad used to work here, I've got friends interning here… aaaaand, rangers don't really pry too much," she added with a sheepish grin. "Huh… I guess that's three reasons. Anyway, we brought you here, said you'd been hurt in the attack, and that was that."

At this point Ajia grabbed one of the visitor chairs and pulled it away from the wall so she could sit facing both Starr and me. "So Starr and I were talking while we were waiting for you to wake up," she said. Something about her words sounded rehearsed, like she'd been eagerly awaiting the chance to say them. "We both think it's pretty likely that after the attack, Team Rocket's gonna be lying low for a while. They've got a lot of recovery to do after this."

I squinted. Where was she going with this?

"So like, now's the perfect time for us to team up and slow them down, while they're having a low point," Ajia went on, eyes shining with the same energy and enthusiasm she'd shown when she first came up with the plan to free Starr from Team Rocket. "We can actually fight them together now, you and me. Won't that be awesome?"

Wait, what? Why was she talking like we'd already decided that was how it was going to be from now on? I mean, yeah, it was a nice idea, fighting Team Rocket alongside her. But I still didn't know if I even wanted to be in the fight anymore. I'd finally gotten a chance to walk away from it all after the Rebellion ended. And I hadn't even gotten to decide if that was what I really wanted before being thrown right back into even more deadly situations. The only reason I had even approached Stalker to join his resistance was because I'd wanted its protection. And he'd just been using me.

This whole time… I'd just been a player in Stalker's games, and now I was a player in Ajia's, and what if I didn't want to follow anyone's plans? I was tired of only considering how I could be useful to others. Was that all I was good for? Helping other people achieve their goals, while not even being important enough to tell all the details of how or why? And yeah, okay, maybe it was an important goal, but still.

Starr glanced back and forth between Ajia and me, squinting like she was trying to figure something out. Finally, she came right out and said, "Hey, uh, Ajia? Me and Jade are gonna talk alone for a bit." I shot a confused glance her way, but she didn't look at me.

Ajia paused, blinking in surprise. She made eye contact with me, and I just shrugged, so she said, "Uh… sure? No problem. Just… come and get me when you're done?" She stood up, threw one last confused glance between us, and then walked towards the door.

"What was that about?" I asked once Ajia had left.

Starr sighed deeply and let go of my hand, allowing feeling to return to it. "Look. I don't have any interest in opposing Team Rocket. With my situation, I don't ever want to see, hear, or think about them ever again."

That was wasn't too surprising. I'd already kind of assumed that much. Why did she need to say that now?

Starr went on, "And I'd prefer if you two didn't go getting yourselves into trouble with them from now on. But I know better than to expect that, so—"

"I don't want to either," I replied immediately.

Starr froze, staring at me incredulously. "You don't?"

I shook my head slowly, mind reeling. Had I finally come to a decision on the question that had been plaguing me since the end of the Rebellion?

Starr stared at me for several seconds before closing her eyes and exhaling through her nose. "Mostly because of me, right?"

I clenched my teeth. "I'd be lying if I didn't say yes." While the dangers of being captured by Astrid were a thing of the past… there was no denying the effect that she'd had on me.

She crossed her arms behind her head. "No, I get it. But I guess that kind of means we're in the same boat. In a way… I'm kinda glad you're not buying into all of Ajia's resistance crap—and no, not just because I hated rebels when I was a Rocket," she added quickly. But then her expression softened, and she glanced away. "I just… was really looking forward to us traveling together. And there's no way that would work out if I had to deal with you going off to fight Rockets all the time. I know it's selfish, but I don't care."

Selfish or not, it was what I wanted too. It was why we'd headed to Johto together in the first place. I still wanted that, even with the various detours that had come up. I wanted that more than I wanted to fight Rockets, that much was certain.

"Figured out how you're gonna tell Ajia?"

I swallowed. "Not quite. She was so excited to work together."

"Yeah, it's pretty hard to say no to her," Starr said, chuckling under her breath. "Might as well get it over with." She stood up and walked over to the door, opening it and gesturing outside. A few seconds later, Ajia walked in, still looking rather perplexed.

Starr leaned back against the wall and folded her arms. "Right, so Jade's not joining your resistance."

"My resistance?" Ajia asked, giving us both a puzzled look.

"Yeah, you and all the Rockets that left with you during the revolt, and all that," Starr said, waving a hand dismissively. "You were talking like she was gonna join you guys, and she's not. So… yeah."

Ajia glanced back and forth between us, confused at first, but then slowly, a look of understanding spread across her face. She smiled awkwardly and said, "There is no resistance."

She'd said it like it was some big revelation, but the significance was somewhat lost on me. Starr, on the other hand, was gaping at Ajia in disbelief.

"What." Her voice was a flat deadpan. "You're… you're kidding me." She stared at Ajia, as though waiting for her to confirm that she'd been joking. But Ajia just closed her eyes and shook her head.

"But… you and all the agents who left us… you're not… working together? Sabotaging us with all your inside info?"

"We'd been planning on it," Ajia said. "Or at least… I'd been hoping we'd get to do something like that. But it didn't work out that way."

Starr blinked repeatedly, mouth hanging open like she'd just had her entire worldview shattered and was desperately trying to find some grain of truth in what she'd been assuming all this time.

"What about the former commander?" she asked.

Ajia sighed and glanced away. "We… had a falling out shortly after the revolt. No one's seen him since." She paused, folding her arms tightly around herself. "The commander was the real face of the revolt. When he left… everything fell apart."

The room fell silent. Twice, Starr tried to say something, but couldn't find any words. The Rockets had spent all that time paranoid that the Rebellion was led by their former Kanto Commander when no one had heard from him in over a year? It was almost laughable.

"So like… you weren't just bullshitting me when you said you weren't actually that big a part of the revolt?" Starr asked, still disbelieving.

Ajia shook her head. "I was just… Sebastian's pawn. And without the commander's influence, none of the other deserters wanted to join me, so they all just…went their separate ways, trying their best to avoid being hunted down. I still have a few friends on Team Rocket, and that's where I get all my info. But other than that…"

From the moment Ajia had first showed up out of nowhere on that fateful day I'd been captured by Rockets, I'd seen her as someone who was far more deeply involved in the fight against Team Rocket than me. It just went without saying that she was part of something greater. But in reality, it was just her, a couple of friends on Team Rocket, and Mew.

Ajia lowered her gaze to the floor. "That was the lowest point in my life. I was so, so tempted to just run away from it all. Pretend it never existed. Live my life far away, oblivious to what was going on in my home region."

What? None of that sounded like Ajia at all. I couldn't imagine her running away from anything, let alone something so important. Which of course was hypocritical of me, since I didn't want anything more to do with the fight against Team Rocket. But Ajia… Ajia was supposed to be stronger than me. She wasn't supposed to feel the same fears and regrets that I had.

"But I couldn't stay out of it for long," she continued, looking up. "Even moving far away wouldn't keep me out of it forever. If the Rockets get free rein to do whatever they want here, who's to say that'll be the end of it? What's gonna stop other gangs in other regions from doing the exact same thing? The Rockets would make a killing selling goods to their own copycats in distant lands."

"We already are," Starr added with a scoff. "Where do you think all the funding for the anti-Legendary tech came from? Not out of our own pockets, that's for sure."

"You keep saying 'we' to refer to the Rockets." The words were out of my mouth before I'd put any thought into them.

Starr groaned exasperatedly. "Jade, it's been two days, give me a damn break."

All this conversation was doing was reminding me why the fight against Team Rocket was so important. I already knew that it was important. That wasn't the problem.

"I guess that explains why you were so hopeful that I'd join you," I mumbled, tapping my fingers together.

Ajia nodded. "Sounds like you're pretty set on staying out of it from now on, though."

Was I set on it? I wasn't sure. I wasn't sure of anything anymore, other than the fact that way too many things had happened this past week and I still needed time to process all of them, and I'd never get that if I jumped back in right away, and especially if it felt like it wasn't even my decision.

"I get that you have to keep fighting them—you can't exactly turn your back on Mew," I said quietly. "And I guess there's six other people out there who are in the same boat as you. I don't know if you've met any of them yet, but they should be able to help you, right?"

Ajia opened her mouth to speak but then paused, heavily considering her words. "Right."

So it was decided then. I wasn't going to fight alongside her. Part of me still wasn't sure if this was the right decision, but there was no taking it back now.

After several seconds of silence between us, Ajia let out a sigh, putting a hand on my shoulder. "I think I need to apologize." I sat there, staring blankly until she continued, "It wasn't right to drag you into that mess even further. That was the one thing I wanted to avoid when we first ran into each other last summer, and then I went and did it anyway."

I tilted my head. "I mean… you did tell me not to back then. I decided to join the Rebellion anyway."

She smiled weakly. "Maybe so. That didn't give me a free pass to string you along for the past few days, though." She glanced between me and Starr, her face falling. "You both had to go through a lot of pain because of me. I know things worked out in the end, and I honestly thought that made it alright, but… it doesn't." She bowed her head deeply. "I'm sorry."

Starr raised both eyebrows. "Well, this is a switch," she said, looking reluctantly impressed. "I'm still pissed about the past few days but… I'll get over it. It's pretty obvious by now that I needed this." She glanced away. "So… thanks, or whatever."

I stared at the floor, unsure of how to put my thoughts into words. "I guess… I would've preferred not being in the dark all the time. I get why you couldn't mention anything about Mew, but even with the rest of it…"—my throat clenched up—"it felt like I wasn't good enough to know anything." I hadn't realized it at the time, had I? But like most things, looking back at it hurt a lot more than it had in the moment.

"Yeah, no more of that secrecy crap from now on," Starr added, glaring at her. "We're all on the same page now, right?"

Ajia glanced between us, her face slowly splitting into a relieved half-smile. "Right. I can promise that."

Starr nodded firmly, as though glad that we had that settled. "In any case…" she went on, folding her arms with a bit of a smirk. "I hate to admit it, but it's pretty cool that you've got a Legendary in your head. If we—if the Rockets didn't have a reason to fear you before, they sure do now."

Ajia closed her eyes, shaking her head. "That's nice to hear, but nothing I've done is special. All the access I had to the inner workings of Team Rocket was only thanks to the commander. And anything I've done since then was only possible because I had Mew's help."

Starr put a hand to her forehead. "Just take the stupid compliment."

Ajia laughed. "Alright, alright," she said, rubbing the back of her head. "Anyway, I guess now I'm wondering… what are you two going to do from now on?"

I glanced at Starr. "We were planning on traveling around Johto. We want to stay away from the Kanto force, and, well… make up for lost time."

Ajia nodded. She was smiling, but her eyes held an air of hesitation. Like she wanted to say something but was holding back.

"Oh, just say what you want to say," Starr grumbled, waving a hand in her direction.

Ajia clasped her hands in her lap, debating her words. "Right. So… I know I'm on my own when the time comes to fight Rockets, and I really mean it when I say I'm not gonna drag either of you into that. But… I'd love it if I could meet up with you two on your journey… at least occasionally?"

My eyes widened. "What? Of course!"

Starr threw me an incredulous glare. "Dammit Jade, how am I supposed to say no if you go and agree to it immediately?" she muttered.

I jerked my head toward her, blinking in surprise. She wasn't okay with it? I hadn't thought… I wasn't trying to decide for her, but—

She rolled her eyes. "I'm joking. God, and people say I'm the one who can't take a joke."

It took several seconds for her words to sink in. But when they did, I found myself laughing like an idiot and not even sure why, because it wasn't exactly funny, but something about the deadpan in her voice and the way I'd walked right into it was hilarious in a way that didn't make any sense. I was laughing, and it hurt like I was sore all over, but I never wanted it to stop. Then Ajia grabbed both my hand and Starr's, and Starr tugged her arm in a half-hearted show of disapproval even though she obviously could have gotten free if she'd really wanted.

Five years. Five years since the three of us had talked and laughed and actually been able to enjoy each other's company. No less than three days ago Starr had been my mortal enemy and Ajia had been practically a stranger with all the secrets she held.

And now the three of us actually had a road forward. To heal from our pasts. To find a new tomorrow. Together.

The next day, I was cleared to leave the Ranger HQ, and save for some general pain and dizziness, the psychic sickness was largely gone. I still had a hard time believing that I was walking away unscathed from a Legendary attack, but after the fifth time bringing it up, and the fifth time hearing Swift tell me not to worry about it, I was finally taking his advice to heart. In any case, I had more important things to think about. Like my upcoming training exam.

I'd left the Ranger HQ alone after insisting to Ajia and Starr, for what felt like the millionth time, that I'd be fine on my own, and that I didn't want them to call me a taxi. I could hardly blame them—I still felt weak, and it was almost certainly obvious in my movements. But there was something I needed to take care of away from them.

It was easy to find an empty park not far from the Ranger HQ. The air was cold enough that no one was outside, especially considering that the city still had yet to recover from the disaster two days ago. I pulled out two Pokéballs, opening one of them to let out Swift. The other was Firestorm's. Something told me I didn't want to be alone while confronting him. Not because I was afraid he'd attack or anything. I just… needed the support.

"Has he even been out since it happened?" I asked, feeling the pit in my stomach starting to swell.

"*They let him out when they healed us,*" Swift explained. "*They had to give him something to calm him down before he'd let anyone get close though.*"

Maybe he'd still be feeling the effects of whatever it was. Since he'd been in a ball this whole time, his condition shouldn't have changed. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not, but it was… something.

I opened the ball. The burst of light started to take shape, and half of me still expected to see the waist-height, red fire lizard standing in front of me, not the huge, orange dragon that he'd become. But no, there he was, wings folded at his sides, arms resting limply on his belly, neck hanging low with his eyes on the ground.

He'd obviously been cleaned up since it had happened. The only image of his new form in my memory was one with blood splattered across his face and claws. It suddenly struck me that someone was dead because of him, and I immediately wanted to put him back in the ball and forget everything. But no. I had to deal with this. And so, swallowing every doubt and hesitation and lingering suspicion that I could have done something to prevent his breakdown, I opened my mouth to speak.

"Do you want to talk?"

"*What's there to say?*" Firestorm replied without looking up.

I shifted a bit. "Well, I can think of a few things."

The Charizard exhaled sharply through his nose but didn't say anything for some time. He just stood there, head low and eyes glued to the ground.

"*I know what you must think of me,*" he finally said.

I took a deep breath. "I don't know what to think. Do you want to explain?"

"*I should have told you ages ago,*" he said through gritted teeth. "You even asked me.*"

I furrowed my brow. "What are you talking about?"

The fire lizard glanced away, eyes screwed shut like he'd rather be doing anything other than having this conversation right now. But eventually he turned back and, without making eye contact, said, "*You're not my first trainer.*"

I tilted my head. "I… already knew that," I said cautiously.

"*I never told you why I had to leave my first trainer.*"

I frowned. "…Didn't you? You told me you were stolen from him."

He flinched, claws balling into fists. "*That's not what happened. We—my trainer and I—came to the first city on the path. We couldn't find the Pokémon Center, and… I guess we wandered into an area we weren't supposed to go through. These older guys showed up and… their Pokémon attacked me, just for fun. I didn't stand a chance… it was pathetic…*"

So far, it all seemed to match up with what he'd told me before. It didn't… seem like he'd lied.

"*I wasn't strong enough,*" Firestorm whispered, his voice quivering. "*I was supposed to protect my trainer. I failed. And it would have been me if he hadn't tried to save me.*"

…Oh.

I exhaled slowly, searching for the right words to say, but everything felt hollow and tactless. "Your trainer… he's dead, isn't he?"

Slowly, the Charizard nodded.

"Were you two close?"

Much to my surprise, the dragon let out a low, raspy laugh. "*No. He was only my trainer for a few days. But why should that matter? I didn't serve my trainer well, I didn't protect him, I didn't do anything. I never have—even with you.*"

How could he say something like that? "I don't get it—how have you failed me?" I regretted the question almost immediately.

"*Are you joking?*" Firestorm asked, lifting his head and staring me dead in the eyes. "*How many times have the Rockets almost killed us and I haven't been able to do anything about it? Do you know how many times I've re-lived that day? Do you know how many times I've seen you lying on the ground, dead?*"

I took a half step back, pulse quickening, fears and regrets flashing through my mind. Times I'd felt the same as him. Deaths that I could have, should have done something to prevent. But… no. No more of that. I'd been down that road. I'd blamed myself enough. It only led to pointless misery.

I stepped forward, struggling to keep my face calm and collected. "It's not your fault that you couldn't protect me before. You didn't need to do what you did back in the forest," I said quietly.

Slowly, he lowered his gaze to the ground once more, looking utterly miserable. "*It was the first time I was able to protect you.*"

I put a hand to my forehead. "Firestorm, that's… I already told you a long time ago, didn't I? You honestly can't expect yourself to get me out of every crazy situation that I get myself into. And I don't want you considering what you did last night as your only success in a history of failing at life or something."

"*I was always too weak to kill.*"

I paused, staring at him directly, a chill running down my spine. "Firestorm, what are you talking about?"

He twiddled his claws, tail lashing back and forth. "*Anyone who would kill my trainer… I wanted them to die. But the thought scared me because I was too weak to handle it. I was hoping that once I evolved, I could—*"

"Do you feel stronger now?"

He looked up at me with a broken expression.

"We could sit here and try to work out the morals of killing Rockets all day, but I'm more concerned about you," I said harshly. "I don't want you protecting me if it means obsessing over it and losing yourself."

Firestorm turned away again, unable to meet my eyes. A tangible silence fell over the area as he stared at the ground in deep thought.

"*…I don't feel stronger,*" he said finally. "*And… that's not what I wanted to be like when I was finally able to protect my trainer. Not even strong enough to control myself? I just… no… it's not what I wanted.*"

I let out a long breath and slowly took another step closer. "Look, I'm… sorry that you had to go through that… with your old trainer. I should have realized something was up. Looking back, it's pretty obvious how it affected you." So many signs. So many things I'd brushed aside. Careless mistakes that had led to someone's death. "I want to be a better trainer for you. If you felt like you had failed me, well… I didn't do the greatest job telling you otherwise."

One last step and I was able to put a hand on the Charizard's shoulder. It was weird standing so close to eye level with him. Just last summer he'd been that wide-eyed, naive little Charmander. Now, all these months later, he was taller than me.

"Just… please promise me you won't lose yourself again. It… hurt to see you like that."

Firestorm didn't reply. But then, slowly, he lifted his arm to lay his claws over my hand, squeezing gently as he gave a small nod. We stood there for a long time—wordless, motionless, not even making eye contact. And yet I didn't want it to end.

"Come on," I said finally. "We've gotta head to the other side of town. I figured it would be a good chance for Swift to teach you how to fly." At my words, Swift, who had been silently watching us this whole time, stepped forward to stand alongside us, giving a light flutter of his wings. Firestorm craned his neck back to look at his own wings and flexed them experimentally, as though he'd only just now noticed that he could actually control them. Then he turned back to face me and Swift, eyes relaxing for the first time since his evolution.

"*I'd like that.*"