Disclaimer: Mentions of domestic violence and drug use…
Chapter 4: In-law expectations…
Billy Black confirmed that Jasper had been arrested coming out of the local Walgreens with his prescription. Billy told me I had twenty-four hours to get my things out of the house. Phil called Charlie, Rose called Emmett, and I went to my house with Mom.
It was twelve o'clock on a Wednesday, and most neighbors were at work. Emmett was in construction and was able to get a truck so I could avoid going to U-Haul. I didn't think that Jasper was stalking me; he probably hadn't even told his parents that I had left, but I didn't want to take the chance.
As soon as I drove, I got out of the car and went into the backyard to use the side door to the garage. The bright sunlight beamed down on us as Mom and I crept beside the house. My shaking right hand put the key in the knob, and I opened the door. A whoosh of stale air hit me in the face, smelling of both vomit, urine, and cheap liquor. I was familiar with the scent in the hospital but not my own house.
"You want to wait in the car until the guys get here?" Mom asked, looking at me with concern.
"Your dad said it was rough."
I shook my head, knowing I needed to see this for myself. As steady as I could get my bruised body, I walked in and immediately regretted it. I first noticed the pile of boxes that Alex fell into when he ran over to help me. My old glasses were crushed from where I must have run over them in my hurry to escape. But the most horrible thing was the bloody footprints. You could see the outline of his feet from where he had been in the house.
Cautiously, I walked towards the door connecting the garage and the house. It was silly to be this careful since I knew that Jasper was in jail, but I couldn't help it. My hands were shaking, and I could feel my heart drop to my stomach.
"Bella, are you okay?" Mom asked, looking at me concerned.
"Not really, Mom," I said, "but that's irrelevant at this point, don't you think?"
"It's okay not to be okay, honey," she told me, taking my hand in hers. Her warmth comforted me on a visceral level.
Someone pounding on the door broke the moment my phone buzzed; the guys were here with the truck. It was time to get packing.
My mom took care of the garage door while I entered the house. I wished I had waited for her; the moment I walked in, I nearly fainted from the destruction.
The bloody footprints continued past the laundry room into the living area. They seemed to stop around the stairs. He either put on shoes, or the bleeding stopped on its own. Everything was in shambles. Jasper destroyed the furniture, all our family photographs, and the kids' toys. Nothing was left intact, including my work laptop and computer. My emotions were all over the place, fluctuating from sadness to fury.
When I went upstairs with Rose, who patiently and quietly documented everything. I wasn't surprised to see the destruction continue. He destroyed our clothes, most of them ripped apart, the bed was torn open, and the drawers smashed up. The kids' rooms were not neglected in his rampage. Their rooms had been torn apart, and even Ellen's diapers were not overlooked; they were shredded.
"I can't believe this. What the hell was he thinking?" I asked, overwhelmed, holding a few albums that escaped his rampage. "I mean, there is nothing left other than a few photos. We don't even have clothes, Rose."
Rose just shook her head, at a loss for words herself. "Bella, Rose," Phil called out. "Are you done?"
"Just a minute, Dad," Rose called out. "Anything else, Bella?"
I shook my head and put the albums in the shopping bag that held my jewelry box and a couple of other things.
We walked downstairs. "There really isn't anything left," I stuttered, trying not to burst into tears at the sight of my wedding dress submerged in the toilet.
Charlie took me by the arm to sit on a chair that someone righted upwards. "Bella, I know you're feeling sad, but you got to get it together, okay?" he told me.
I felt a small surge of anger I couldn't afford to indulge in with Charlie at the moment, although I wanted to. After all, once upon a time, he did the same thing to my mother and me. I knew what he was saying was right, but my first thought was: What the fuck, dude, are you forgetting you did the same thing too?
I nodded and said, "I don't think we're going to salvage a lot from here."
"Are you sure, Bella?" Mom asked gently, having shot Charlie her own look.
I nodded. "He ruined all our clothes, and you've seen the furniture. There isn't anything here."
Ultimately, we savaged a few toys, boxes, albums, and knickknacks. I didn't need a storage locker after all, and Rose promised to store the remnants at her place until I got back on my feet. Standing in the ruined house, I realized I didn't want anything from this place anymore. I just wanted peace and space.
Peace was not going to come to me anytime soon. As soon as we closed the front door to the house, I was no longer hiding from people - I was done with that - my in-laws drove up.
Peter and Charlotte Whitlock drove up in their Range Rover, identical looks of surprise on their WASPy faces.
Charlotte reacted first, bursting out of the car, her 4'11 body with perfectly coiled blond hair bouncing like the house was on fire. Peter, the more stoic of the two, got out of the car at a slower pace as if he knew the depth of his son's problems.
"Bella," Charlotte squealed, "What is the meaning of this? What happened? Why was Jasper arrested?"
My parents, all three of them, boxed me in. "Charlotte, maybe we should go inside," I suggested, not wanting to attract attention. Besides, I had a feeling they wouldn't believe me unless they saw the damage themselves.
Charlie raised his hand, "Bella, why do you let me take them inside? We can meet in the backyard.:
"That's a good idea, Charlie," Mom said, "Phil, why don't you go with them?"
Rose got on my right side, and Mom on my left. We walked into the backyard, where I got a pretty good view of my in-laws' horrified faces as they silently walked the house. For a moment, I thought we were going to call 911 for Charlotte, who looked like she was going to faint when she saw the blood on the floor. Peter put an arm around her waist to support her as they went through my ruined living room, finally stopping at the glass door where the shattered remnants of my coffee mug lay. That mug used to have pictures of my family on it. Jasper got it for me as a Christmas gift this year. I loved that thing, and now it was gone.
"If they give you a hard time, let me handle it," Rose said, gritting her teeth.
"I appreciate it, Rose, but I have to fight some battles alone," I told her gently.
"Still," she started to say but didn't get very far as Phil opened the back door to let everyone out of the house. Emmett got behind her gently and put his big hands on her shoulders, making her look like a vulnerable porcelain doll.
"I need to sit down," Charlotte said, looking pale and ashy. I motioned her to the table set that miraculously escaped Jasper's rampage.
"I don't blame you," I replied, gingerly taking the seat across from her. The sky started to darken a little from the cloud cover, the cool air from the ocean settling in.
"I can't get it over it; I just can't," she said, taking my hand, then reaching out to touch my face, transfixed by the bruises she saw there.
"I can't either," I told her, wondering how devasted she must be feeling. Jasper was her only son; her life had been about raising him and his sister Bree.
"Honey, how could you do this?" she asked, looking at me, worried.
"What?" I replied, confused, wondering what she meant.
"Do what specifically, Charlotte?" my mother spoke up, her face hardening. "Having Jasper arrested for beating her? Is that what you are asking?"
"Yeah, Charlotte, Peter, what exactly do you mean?" Rose replied coolly.
Charlotte reached for Peter's hand, and he gripped it. "Bella, you know exactly what you did.
You destroyed your house looking for your pills, and when Jasper tried to stop you, you attacked him and kidnapped the children. Then you had him arrested!" she snapped, losing her composure, "How could you! And now you're running away? You've got some nerve, young lady!"
"What the hell are you talking about!" I yelled, rage flowing through me like a burst dam. For the time since that morning, I felt something other than being numb and ashamed.
"Your habit, young lady, that's what I'm talking about. Don't you think I haven't noticed what's going on? How distracted you've been? Renee, you should be doing something before Bella ends up like Charlie," Charlotte spat out, Peter nodding along.
"Your son attacked me after he realized I threw away his stash! He hit me, ripped the hair out of my scalp, and bruised my ribs! He hit your grandson Charlotte, Peter," I retorted, raising my hand so they didn't interrupt, "You don't believe me, ask my neighbors. Jasper has been out of control for months now. He's as high as a kite on oxy. He needs help, and I guess so do you two!"
Charlotte started to speak when Charlie spoke up. "How dare you insinuate that my daughter is one with the problem! That son of yours has been out of control for months."
"How dare you!" Charlotte snapped, "You don't say that about my boy, you alcoholic piece of white trash!"
"Charlotte, I'm going to tell you the same thing I told your boy yesterday. I'm an addict, so I know one when I see one," Charlie retorted, ignoring her insult, "Peter, you need to get that boy some help. You three need to stay away from Bella if you will not support her."
"You can't keep us from our grandchildren," Peter replied angrily.
"Yes, she can," Rose said, getting up, "You know she can, and I'll never know why you believe what you believe with Bella looking the way she does. Emmett, you better get me out here before I do something that will make Bella's life harder."
Emmett took his wife's hand. "You know he has a problem," he said, looking at my in-laws, "You saw how out of it he was when Ellen was born. You know damn well Bella didn't bruise herself."
Peter looked away, ashamed, while Charlotte looked angrier at Emmett's words.
"Look, if you came over to get me to drop the charges, you're wasting everyone's time," I told them, ready to leave myself.
"Bella, you have a family. Even if what you're saying is right, Jasper needs treatment," Peter replied.
"Peter!" Charlotte snapped.
Peter raised his hand. "Bella, please think about this. The kids need a father, and jail is no place for someone to get help."
"You and I both know that Jasper's a first-time offender. The court will probably offer him a treatment program," I replied, "But I have to think of Alex and Ellen. They're my kids, and he's already proven he'll hurt them if he's angry enough. And as you pointed out, I know from experience what that can do to a child."
"Jasper is sorry; he just wants what's best, and maybe Bella, if what you're saying is true, you should have done something earlier," Charlotte reprimanded.
"So, what, first, Bella is the one with the problem?" Phil retorted, disgusted, "She's the one that destroyed the house, but Jasper's sorry? Are you listening to yourself? Are you fucking kidding me, Charlotte?"
Charlotte's mouth dropped open from the cuss words coming out of my normally calm and personable stepdad.
"What Charlotte is trying to say is, Bella, you don't want to make a bad situation worse. You know what separating a child from their father is like." Peter said injetecing.
"Yeah, I do, Peter," I replied sharply. I also know what it's like to feel disregarded and abused by someone who is supposed to protect me."
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Charlie wince, his guilt palatable from his earlier words. Well, tough shit, we all had to live with our choices.
"Are you trying to get revenge? Is this what this is about?" Charlotte demanded.
"No, this is about my safety and the kids," I snapped, running my hand through my hair.
"Charlotte, I'm not going to stick around and let Alex get hit again or watch Jasper get so high that he falls asleep watching Ellen when I'm working. Jesus Christ, did you know that he's on probation with his job?"
I found that tidbit out today when his office called demanding to know where Jasper was. His assistant, Jessica, told me that Jasper was about to be suspended from work if he did not show up.
"I'm not the one with the drug problem, Peter, Charlotte," I continued, "I can't help Jasper by myself and believe I've tried, and the only thing I have to show for it is a black eye and bruised ribs. If you want to bail him out, you do so, but I'm not."
"You'll regret this," Charlotte threatened, getting up from the chair she was in and gripping Peter's hand.
"I regret not leaving earlier," I retorted. Threaten me all you want, but that isn't going to change the fact that Jasper is ill and needs help."
AN: Denial is common with family members dealing with drug addict. No one wants to admit that their loved one is addicted and capable doing of awful things while they're high. As I mentioned before, I lost a loved one to addiction last year. None of us wanted to believe they were addicted and what they were willing to do feel that addiction.
I say this for a few reasons. Addicts are truly sick people who require a lot of help and relapses are common. Forty to sixty percent of addicts relapse during recovery. Doing research, I found that CDC reported that 75% do overcome addiction through other sources state it could anywhere from 30%-50%. The CDC number stated that recovery could be different for everyone, meaning anything from going cold turkey to modifying use to swapping out oxy for other opiates so the addict stays functional. In any event the studies state that addicts have a better change with a good support system.
Before judging Charlotte and Peter, remember Jasper is their son. They're worried and would rather believe that Bella has the addiction not Jasper. They're in deep denial about their son. Trust me they're not going to be for long.
Next – Jasper is in jail. We'll see how he reacts when his parents bail him out. Peter has a test for his son. We'll see what it is…