Disclaimer – I don't own anything Twilight related. Just a MacBook that I got on discount.

Chapter 6: Blue Purgatory…

"Well, Bella, this is pretty straightforward," my attorney Pam said, looking at the police report.

"You're more than justified in getting a restraining order. I would advise filing for divorce. If you are not ready for a divorce, you should file for a separation at the very least."

"That sounds so final," I replied, drumming my fingers against her desk.

"Would you be here if you weren't thinking that?" she asked, looking me in the eye. "My job is to give you options and a reality check."

She was right. That was the very reason I was here: to learn my options and the realities of being on my own. Freedom could be expensive.

"Now, the other thing you need to go into this, Bella, is that you signed a pretty extensive prenup. Did you realize you waved your right to alimony when signing this? And that you have no rights to any assets that your husband brought into your marriage."

I chuckled darkly, thinking of my naïve, twenty-one-year-old self, thinking that her marriage would never end and that Jasper would always be there for me. My stepmom Sue warned me at the time to get my own lawyer to look at it, but I was offended—stupid and offended.

"I'm aware," I said, "But I am still entitled to at least half of our house, am I not? But I really don't care about that; I don't want Jasper to have custody. What am I looking for if he challenges me in custody? Am I screwed because I'm not as wealthy as his family?"

"The reality is this," Pam replied, then cutting me a stern look: "You're getting a restraining order for sure unless you change your mind. I'm advising you not to change your mind. You wouldn't be my first client to change her mind about a restraining order, but it gets hard if you don't walk away the first time. Now, what you do have working in your favor is that you reported it right away and documented the incident.

"Realistically, he will probably get probation, which will go on the record as a misdemeanor. He will probably get supervised visitation and mandatory drug testing; we'll insist on it. If he does well, he can return to the court and ask for shared custody."

"So he's going to be alone with them," I sighed, wondering if this was a good idea. At least if I was at home, he couldn't do anything to them.

"We'll make sure that it's supervised at first if you decide to want to divorce," she assured me, "I don't see a judge giving any real custody to a parent with a drug issue and a violent history. This isn't the fifties. Again, that is if you decide to get a divorce."

"Do you have any clients who ever stay together?" I asked.

Pam looked at me for a moment, like she was gauging my resolve, which I guess was a fair question since she specialized in divorce cases where there was drug addiction and abusive partners.

"I'm going to be honest with you, Bella, but I don't want you to get any false hope. I have had a couple of clients call off their divorce because their partners got help and succeeded in that help, but they're in the minority. About half my clients stall on their divorce to see if their marriage can be saved, but it's a rarity," she explained.

I nodded, appreciating her honestly, even if it hurt. If it were just me, this would be one thing, but it wasn't. I had my kids to think about. And it wasn't about the money. I had lived poor, and I could do it again. And I wasn't precisely destitute and without options. I had a college degree and family support. I would be okay, but I was worried about Jasper being alone with our kids because, after my confrontation with Charlotte and Peter, I knew they were in denial about their son's condition. I could see Charlotte letting Jasper be alone with Alex and Ellen.

I didn't know if I could stomach that. And then there was Jasper himself. As horrible as he had been, he had been my first love and my first everything. And he hadn't always been this way. He could be genuinely wonderful. I worried about him being alone.

"Look, you don't have to decide everything right now, Bella; think about what you want," she told me, "My job is to give you options and navigate you legally through whatever you decide."

"Thanks, Pam," I told her, getting up, our hour up. "I'll be in touch with you shortly."

"You okay, babe?" Rose asked as I got in her car, the drizzle from early having stopped and the sun was peeking out of the clouds.

"Too much to process," I told her honestly as I buckled up.

"I can't imagine what you're going through," she said as she maneuvered her Explorer into the street.

"I can't believe that I'm going through this," I replied, feeling sixty instead of twenty-eight. Then I noticed she was going, "Emmett?"

"Yeah, sorry, do you mind? He had to drop off his truck this afternoon for service at the dealership," she asked.

"No worries," I said, putting my head against the window. The cool glass felt amazing on my sore head. The pain was definitely better today than yesterday. It was hard to believe all this happened two days ago.

After about twenty minutes or so, we pulled up the latest construction site Em was working on. A year ago, Emmett decided to go into business with a friend from high school. I had never met his partner. I'm sure either Emmett or Rose mentioned his name before, but I had been so preoccupied with Jasper that I hadn't paid attention when they talked about the new business.

This project was a housing track, and some major corporation hired Emmett's company to do the whole thing. It was their first major project outside home remodels.

"Wow, Rose," I said, taking in the whole thing, "this is amazing."

"I know, they're pretty psyched," she said, beaming as we got closer. The signage showed pictures of what the new homes hoped to look like. There was also much mention of the housing and construction companies doing the work. This housing project is brought to you by EMCsquare.

"EMCsquare?" I asked, "What does that stand for?"

Rose laughed. "It's their initials. They both have the same initials," she explained.

I laughed with her. "Seriously? That's hysterical. What's Emmett's partner's name again?"

"It's – wait, that's him," she said, pulling into the lot and rolling down the window.

A tall, lean man wearing a hard hat, a flannel shirt, blue jeans, and work boots was waving at herand walking to the Explorer. His bronze hair reminded me a little of the younger doctor who treated Alex yesterday.

"Rose," he called out in a deep baritone, "Emmett told me to tell you he'll be right out."

"Thanks, come here and meet my sister," she called out from the window.

"Rose," I squealed, fumbling for my sunglasses. I didn't need any more weird stares from strangers.

"Don't worry, Bella – E is cool," Rose replied, mistaking why I was embarrassed.

"Hi," the tall man said, coming up. Up close and personal, I realized Emmett's business partner was handsome. He had beautiful green eyes, so very different from Jasper. "I'm Edward, Edward Cullen."

"Edward Cullen?" I asked. "Where does the M come in."

Edward laughed, the chuckle crinkling his eyes a bit. "It's for Masen. Hence the EMCsquared."

"Oh," I replied, feeling a little overwhelmed.

Edward put out his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Bella, right? Emmett talks about you a lot."

And that did it. I could only imagine what Edward knew about me. "Likewise," I said, briefly shaking his hand. Some weird static electricity shocked me when we touched it. I must have been rubbing my feet on the carpet a little too hard. I dropped my eyes, embarrassed.

Rose watched us, amused. "Ed, can you get Emmett for me? I need to get this one home?" she asked.

"No problem," Edward said, walking off to the site where the guys were.

"That is one good-looking guy," Rose said, fanning herself.

"Rose," I warned, wondering if she did this on purpose.

"Bella," she retorted, amused at my reaction.

"I'm married," I reminded her.

"So am I, but it doesn't hurt to look," she said. "Besides, God willing, you won't be much longer."

"Even if I woke up tomorrow morning single, the thought of even makes me want to barf," I replied, ready to enter a nunnery at this point.

"I'm not talking about marriage or a relationship; I'm talking about a good roll in the hay," she said, "You could use a little stress relief."

I was about to say something snarky but stopped when Emmett and Edward returned to the car. Looking at Edward, a memory nagged at my memory but not enough to overtake the annoyance I felt towards Rose and her assumptions about my sex life, no matter how accurate. At the moment, sex was not a high priority.

"Hi, girls," Emmett said, leaning down to kiss his wife. "Bella, stay where you are; I'll get in the back. Trust me, you don't want to be downwind from after I finish work."

"He's not wrong," Rose snickered, squeezing Emmett's hand affectionately.

I snickered, but my earlier conversations killed my humor. Honestly, as annoying and intrusive as Rose was, she took a back seat to my talk with Pam. Divorce or try to work it out with Jasper. Neither were appealing options.

"Have a good day, ladies," Edward said, tapping the door, "Bella, it was a pleasure to meet you."

"Thank you," I replied shyly, trying to mind my manners. It wasn't Edward's fault that Rosalie had no filter.

"Thanks, Edward," Rose replied.

Emmett got into the back and Rose pulled their SUV out of the lot. After observing Rose and me for a few minutes, Emmett asked, "Bella, you're pretty quiet. Did it go badly with the lawyer?"

"It didn't go great; she remembered there was a good chance that Jasper might visit in his current state," I replied. "That I could go through all of this crap and still not be able to protect them."

"You're a social worker," he asked, "It can't happen that often if the victim reported it immediately like you did. You've got a shitload of people who can testify to say what kind of state Jasper is in."

I nearly laughed at his naivety. "Yes, that would give me a measure of protection against him, not Ellen and Alex. A good lawyer can point out the fact that Jasper hasn't been violent towards them."

"Except for when Alex got beat up," Rose snapped.

"A good lawyer could say it was an accident, and Alex just got between us," I replied, feeling a migraine start. "Either way, it's going to be a nasty uphill battle, and I'm going to get screwed. The only that prenup that I signed didn't cover was custody."

"Oh, Bella, why didn't you get a lawyer before you got married," Rose asked, shaking her head at my stupidity.

"Rose," Emmett hissed at her insensitivity.

"I was young, dumb, and in love," I replied, "and now I'm fucked."

As if the universe knew how fucked I was, my phone rang. The caller ID announced my hospital's name. Figuring it must have been my boss wondering if I would be in tomorrow, I flipped my phone open.

"Isabella Whitlock," I answered after the second ring.

"Bella, it's Dani Harden from work." I sometimes worked with Dani as an emergency room doctor when the ER needed a social worker.

"Hi, Dr. Harden. I'm not on today, but I'm happy to help you," I replied, wondering why they were calling me. Four other social workers were on staff, and they had been briefed on what had happened to me.

"I'm not calling for a social work consult," she began, "I'm calling because we just admitted a Jasper Whitlock from the country jail for withdrawal. They have you listed as next kin, and he's not doing well."

"Oh my God, I'll be right there," I said, feeling a wave of nausea and guilt hitting me at once. Lowering the phone, I looked at Rose, "Rose, you need to take me to the hospital right now. They just admitted Jasper."

AN: Oh Bella – don't do it. Statistically it takes 5-7 times for a victim of domestic violence to leave their partner. Bella is in a hard place because she remembers how wonderful Sober Jasper was. She also facing the possibility of her kids being alone with their father at some point and which Jasper are they going to get? Sober amazing super dad Jasper or the evil, detached, violent Jasper.

There is a list of fifty obstacles to leaving an abuser. Bella has already experience some of them. Her in-laws are pressuring her, she's worried about her children, financially she is tied to him, she loves her husband – the good side of him is prominent in her mind. When I think of Bella's story and others like her, I think about those safety demonstrations they do on airplanes. Sometimes you must put the oxygen mask on yourself and then help the others.

Next chapter we'll see how sick Jasper is.