Chapter 31
AN: Thank you for being understanding why I took a week back, I am going to try to update more, but I'm not sure how often I will manage. Thank you for the incredible support.
"Albus," Gellert says, smiling at his love, looking incredibly glad to see him.
"Gellert," Albus responds, looking glad to see him, though Gellert knows him well enough to know that something is bothering him.
"What's wrong, Mein Schatz?" Gellert asks concerned.
"I'm worried about Annemie," Albus admits. "There's something bothering her, and she's not talking about whatever it is," Albus explains. "She's lying to me," Albus admits, pain in his voice.
"Annemie is feeling a lot of guilt," Gellert explains, he has been debating whether he would tell Albus what he is feeling but because of the look on Albus's face he knows the right thing to do is to tell him.
"You can feel that?" Albus asks, and Gellert nods.
"I can't tell exactly what she is feeling guilty about," Gellert admits. "But I know that Annemie has been feeling incredibly guilty for the last few days, I may be wrong, but I don't believe she has been sleeping," Gellert reveals.
"I would believe that," Albus admits. "Annemie struggles with sleeping, I wouldn't be surprised if that has gotten worse," Albus explains. "Gel, I have told Annemie that it wasn't her fault that I was hurt, but after everything she has been through, the way she was raised, Annemie feels a lot of guilt that she shouldn't and I don't know how to help her," Albus admits, looking hurt that he isn't able to help his daughter.
"Admittedly I don't know your daughter, but I do know what it can be like growing up in… less than ideal circumstances," Gellert admits, and Albus reaches out and takes his hand. "And you do too," Gellert says and Albus nods. "We both know how that changes you, I wouldn't be surprised if Annemie learnt to depend on no one else, because she had no choice, and because of that she takes on more guilt, and doesn't trust when she is told that she has no reason to, even if you are the one telling her," Gellert tells Albus, and even though he isn't saying it Albus can tell that Gellert is worried about Mie.
"I believe you are correct," Albus admits, feeling pained that he cannot help his daughter, and Gellert squeezes his hand, and even though they are not actually with him Albus feels comfort.
"I am trying to protect you!" Mie exclaims, feeling like Regulus is attacking her despite his gentle words. "You fought last week because I asked and amazingly you weren't hurt but you could have been! Dad almost died because of me!" Mie explains, as she looks around at her friends, who she desperately wants to protect.
"Mie do you know what we were doing when you came into the classroom last week?" Amelia asks, and Mie looks confused as she honestly has no idea.
"We were about to tell Mary, Edger, Isaac, Marlene, Emmaline, and Dorcus what was about to happen in Godric's Hollow and Hogsmeade, and explain our plan to sneak out to fight, because it was the right thing to do," Sirius tells Mie, honestly if Mie was even a few minutes later they would have been gone.
"Mie you may have asked us to fight, but we would have done it anyway," Remus tells Mie, and she isn't surprised to hear those words come out of Remus's mouth.
"Every single one of us who thought that day choose to, you didn't force us to do anything, and if we were hurt it would be the fault of the person who hurt us, and Voldemort, not you," Frank tells Mie.
"Mie your Dad, he choose to take that curse, you didn't' force him, he choose to," Regulus says taking a step forward. "What happened, the lives that were lost, the people who were hurt, including your Dad, that's on Voldemort and his Death Eaters, not you," Regulus tells Mie.
"Every minute of every day you're fighting to make a better timeline than the one you came from, and that's hard, I can't imagine the pressure you feel," Lilys says as she can tell that Mie feels like she is carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, which in a lot of ways she is. "But you're not alone," Lily assures her.
"You've got all of us Mie, and you can't do it alone, don't push us away," Alice tells Mie.
"We all make our choices, and we're choosing to fight, to do whatever we can to make things different, that's our choice not your responsibility," James tells Mie.
"You need to stop blaming yourself," Severus says, and because Mie looks like she is about to cry Regulus walks the few steps that separate them and hug her.
A while after Regulus hugged her Mie she has left her friends and thinking about what they said she is making her way back to the quarters she shares with her father. Walking into the living area Mie finds Albus on the couch, almost looking like he is mediating.
"Dad," Mie says, as she sits down across from him. "Dad, can you hear me?" Mie asks, and a few seconds later Albus opens his eyes.
"Annemie," Albus says, looking glad to see her.
"Hey Dad," Mie says to him. "How's Gellert?" Mie says, being able to guess what her father has been doing because of the look of peace that is on his face.
"Good, but he is worried about you," Albus responds, and for a second Mie is confused, but then the answer comes to her.
"Because he can sense my emotions," Mie realises, not sure that she is going to get used to that. "What did he tell you?" Mie asks curious.
"Gellert informed me that you are feeling incredibly guilty, and scared," Albus tells his daughter, as he leans forward.
"Guess tonight's the night for confrontation," Mie says, looking a little amused, as she should have realised that this was coming.
"Annemie what happened to me wasn't your fault, it was my decision," Albus tells his daughter.
"I know that I know you feel that way, but it doesn't help with what I feel," Mie admits. "Nor does it help with the fact that I put people I cared about, including people who don't know the truth about everything in incredible danger," Mie tells her father. "I asked them to fight, Dad, I asked them to fight a battle that in my timeline was a massacre," Mie tells her father.
"And because you did that it wasn't a massacre in this timeline," Albus tells his daughter.
"Dad…" Mie starts to say.
"You know it's the truth," Albus tells his daughter. "Annemie, you did not force anyone to fight, they choose to, made the decision for themselves," Albus tells his daughter.
"I know, I just listened to half an hour of being told that," Mie admits.
"And you still struggle to believe it," Albus realises, and Mie looks like she is debating saying something. "What is it Annemie?" Albus asks his daughter.
"I'm not good at letting go," Mie admits. "I rethink things, I debate what I could have done differently, think about the consequences of my choices and decisions," Mie admits. "I've been doing it since I was a kid," Mie admits, knowing that she spent many nights during the Horcrux hunt doing that.
"Because you didn't have people you could count on, who can help you carry the weight you carry, but you have that now," Albus tells his daughter. "Annemie, you're not alone, you have me, and your friends, and we make our own chooses, we choose to fight, we choose to support you, and help you," Albus tells his daughter. "You don't have to keep everything inside, you don't have to hold onto it," Albus says, reaching out and taking Mie's hand. "You told me that my future self's mistake was trying to do everything alone, and the secrets he kept," Albus reminds her. "This week you're going to down that same path and I don't want that for you," Albus tells his daughter, and Mie isn't sure how she feels about her dad using her words against him.
"I thought fighting Voldemort and his Death Eaters would be the hard part about trying to change the timeline, but it's not," Mie admits, with a sigh. "The hard part is knowing that every time I try to save someone, I'm putting someone else in danger, I'm risking someone else," Mie admits. "Dad, I know you've said you don't regret taking that curse for me, but I just keep thinking that the future needs you and because of me…" Mie starts to say.
"No, Annemie, no," Albus says, leaning forward even further. "You cannot take that on, you cannot carry that guilt," Albus tells his daughter as he is sure it will destroy her if he does. "I've fought a lot of battles, I've led a lot of people, and never gets easier," Albus admits. "But you need to learn how to live with what you have to do, and do your best not to take all the guilt of the consequences on," Albus explains, and as he does Mie realises something.
"But that's the opposite of what you do, you, your future self, you carry the guilt, just like me," Mie tells her father. "Why are you telling me to do what you can't do yourself?" Mie asks her father.
"Because I don't want you to be like me, regret, and guilt, are my constant companions I don't want that for you," Albus tells his daughter.
"The way I see it, the moment I stop worrying, and stop feeling guilty for the consequences of my actions and the way my choices effect others then that's when I become like Voldemort, and I'm not going to do that," Mie tells her father, and Albus feels incredibly proud of her.
"I am so proud of you," Albus says, and Mie smiles at that. "But how about instead of keeping what you're feeling inside, instead of isolating yourself, you talk to me, no matter what you always talk to me," Albus suggests, as he fears that that might be the only thing he can do to help.
"I think I can do that," Mie admits, before leaning forward and hugging her father.
After spending a while with her father, during which they had dinner as they both skipped dinner in the Great hall, Mie, who was encouraged by Albus, is walking into the Gryffindor common room for the first time since the beginning of the Easter Holidays.
Looking around the common room Mie sees Alice, Lily, James, Remus, Sirius, Amelia, Marlene, Mary, Dorcus, and Emmaline sitting by the fire in the best seats and so Mie walks over to them.
"Hi," Mie greats, looking around at everyone, feeling a little nervous.
"Hey Mie, finally decided to stop avoiding us did ya?" Marlene asks curious.
"Was I that obvious?" Mie says as she sits down on the arm of the chair Amelia is sitting on.
"Yep," all the others say to Mie's amusement.
"There was no reason for that you know," Dorcus tells her. "We all choose to fight," Dorcus assures her.
"And we'd do so again," Emmaline adds.
"I appreciate you saying that," Mie assures her friend. "But I still worry about what me asking you to fight could have led to," Mie admits.
"Even if I had been hurt, or worse, I wouldn't have regretted fighting and I wouldn't want you to blame yourself because it was my choice," Mary tells her.
"Same," the others say, and Mie smiles and nods, very much looking like she is going to cry because she is so touched, and so Amelia reaches up and hugs her as she can tell that
"See, you're not a curse, we all love you Mie," Amelia assures her friend, her voice only loud enough for Mie to hear, using what Mie called herself earlier to assure her that she isn't.
"I love you all too," Mie responds, as that's why she is struggling so much, as Mie and Amelia break apart.
"So, we've got a little bit of time before curfew, and some treats in our stash, any takers?" James asks, looking around at her friends, as he is pretty sure that that is the relaxing activity that they all need especially considering that most of them have a completely free morning on Wednesday and only those who do History of Magic have a class before lunch.
"Sounds good to me," Sirius comments.
"Of course you'd say that," Alice responds, looking amused.
"Do you not agree?" Sirius asks his sister.
"Of course I do," Alice responds.
"Lead the way Potter," Marlene tells him, partly to avoid a fight, and the group of seventh years head out of the room, none of them noticing that Peter is watching them go.
The next morning, just like they were until Curfew the night before, Mie, Amelia, Alice, James, Lily, Marlene, Mary and Emmaline are in the empty classroom, having been joined by Frank, Severus, Edger, Alora, Isaac, Kathleen and a few others while Sirius, Remus, Dorcus and a couple others are in history of magic.
"You really think that charms can be just as effective as defensive magic in duels?" Edger asks Mie surprised.
"I really do," Mie confirms. "I believe that they both have their uses, and often charms are harder to defend against," Mie admits. "During a duel it's a persons instinct to defend against curses, but they will be vulnerable to charms because they won't think to defend against them, and charms can often be used to end a duel sooner in a non lethal, without injury, way," Mie explain.
"That's a really interesting point," Edger says, looking like he is pondering Mie's words.
"Professor Hicks has written a fascinating book on the matter," Mie reveals, knowing the book has already been written in this time and realising that she wants to see if her father can arrange a chance for her to actually talk to Lally.
"Huh," Edger says, looking very much like he would like to go read that book at the very moment.
"The library has it," Mie reveals, realising what Edger is thinking, and Edger nods.
"Oh merlin you two are such nerds," James says, sounding amused.
"Are you honestly saying that you didn't find anything said interested?" Lily asks her boyfriend, as she found the hole conversation fascinating.
"I'm not saying that, what I'm saying is… Peter," James says shocked, as he sees Peter standing nearby, clearly wanting to join.
"Hi," Peter says, sounding nervous, as he knows he has to be careful how he does this. Voldemort hasn't told anyone about him and because of that Peter knows there is a lot of pressure on him.
"Can we help you with anything?" Marlene asks, an edge to her voice.
"Um, I wanted to apologise, for the way I acted about Cabot," Peter says, surprising everyone.
"Really?" Alice asks, not sure if she can believe that.
"I over reacted, and that wasn't fair," Peter admits. "I know that all of you were trying to do the right thing, I see that now," Peter says. "I hope you accept my apology," Peter says and several people around the room notice that he hasn't actually apologised.
"Of course we do Pete," James says, grinning at his friend, wanting to see the best. "Why don't you join us," James says, and Peter sits down near Isaac, it being clear that the others are a little awkward, but no one actually says it.
"You know Binns may not have noticed what you two were doing, but the rest of us did," Dorcus says, looking at Sirius and Remus, as the three of them walk into the abandoned classroom a while after Peter walked into the classroom.
"Well, you didn't have to watch," Sirius responds, as Remus looks embarrassed
"It was hard not to," Dorcus says, sounding annoyed.
"Um what happened in history of magic guys?" Alice asks, feeling concerned about the answer.
"Remus and Sirius spent the entire time making out," Dorcus reveals, giving her friends an annoyed look.
"I'm not even surprised," James says as Dorcus, Sirius and Remus sit down, Remus attempting to hide behind Sirius as they talk.
"The class was boring," Sirius explains.
"You didn't even give Binns a chance," Dorcus says, rolling her eyes then she notices who is sitting with them. "Peter?" Dorcus asks shocked, causing Remus and Sirius to look at him in shock, neither having noticed until Dorcus said his name.
"Sounds like an interesting experience," Peter says, having no idea what else to say.
"What the hell are you doing?" Sirius asks. "Weeks of silence and what? Now you're back?" Sirius asks.
"Um, yeah," Peter answers.
"Are we meant to forget everything you said?" Remus asks, pain in his voice, as he isn't sure that he can do that.
"I was wrong," Peter admits. "And I apologised," Peter admits, and Mie resists the urge to roll her eyes as he really hasn't.
"So, we're just meant to move past it?" Sirius ask, feeling that that isn't something they can do.
"Padfoot we're all friends here," James says. "Let's just act like it," James says, causing both Sirius and Remus to exchange looks, both feeling that they will get Mie's opinion when they have a chance, as James clearly isn't objective.
"Fine," Sirius says, resisting the urge to roll his eyes.
"Okay," Remus says and the group drift into silence, no one wanting to be the first one to speak.
Well over an hour later and things between the seventh years are still rather awkward. As the lunch bell ring everyone who is in the empty classroom stars to head out, heading to the great hall for lunch, but Mie, Sirius, and Remus hang back.
"Do you think he's on the level?" Sirius asks Mie once the others are out of hearing range.
"I don't know," Mie admits, as she has been trying to figure that out. "He didn't actually apologise, he just kept saying that he wanted to apologise, but he never said the words I'm sorry," Mie explains, being pretty sure that some of the other have realised that.
"Really?" Remus asks surprised, and Mie nods.
"I know I'm not exactly objective, but I don't trust him," Mie admits. "But if he's come back now then he's done so for a reason," Mie theorises.
"And you want to know what that reason is," Remus realises.
"I'm pretty sure it will become clear," Mie admits, knowing that that is going to be whether they like it or not.
"Okay, so we keep our eyes open, make sure James doesn't become blinded by his loyalty to his friend, and go from there," Sirius says.
"Yeah, we go from there," Mie says and Remus nods, after an understanding look passes between them Mie, Remus, and Sirius head out of the empty classroom together.