pretty brown eyes

by youwouldnt4

Naomi Black is the first alpha female of the Quileute pack. Her life was going fine after Victoria was eliminated. But a different and more vile threat creeps onto Naomi'a tribe and challenges her power. Will she ever get out of the continuous loop or will she give up her power?

1. cheated

january, 2006

…

Bella

…

"Bella, why don't you take off," Mike suggested, his eyes focused off to the side, not really looking at me. I wondered how long that had been going on without me noticing.

It's a slow afternoon at Newton's. At the moment there were only two patients in the store, dedicated backpackers from the sound of their conversation. Mike had spent the last hour going through the pros and cons of two brands of lightweight packs with them. But they'd taken a break from serious pricing to indulge in trying to one-up each other with their latest takes from the trail. Their distraction had given Mike a chance to escape.

"I don't mind staying," I said.

I still haven't been able to sink back into my protective layer of numbness, and everything seemed oddly close and loud today, like I'd taken cotton out of my ears. I tried to tune out the laughing hikers with no success.

The thickest man of the two, orange bread that didn't match his brown hair said, "I'm telling you I've seen grizzlies pretty close up in Yellowstone, but they had nothing on this brute." His hair was matted, and his clothes looked like they'd been on his back for more than a few days. Fresh from the mountains.

"Not a chance. Black bears don't get that big. The grizzlies you saw were probably cubs." The second man was tall and lean, his face fanned and wind whipped into an impressive leathery crust.

"Seriously, Bella, as soon as these two give up, I'm closing the place down," Mike murmured.

"If you want me to go…" I shrugged.

"On all fours it was taller than you," the bearded Man insisted while I gathered my things together. "Big as a house and pitch-black. I'm going to report it the ranger here. People ought to be warned – this wasn't up on the mountain, mind you – this was only a few miles from the trailhead."

Leather face laughed and rolled his eyes, "Let me guess. You were on your way in? Hadn't eaten real food or slept off the ground in a week, right?"

"Hey, uh, Mike, right?" the breaded man called, looking towards us.

"See you Monday," I mumbled.

"Yes, sir," Mike replied, turning away.

"Say, have there been any warnings around here recently – about black bears?"

"No, sir. But it's always good to keep your distance and store your food correctly. Have you seen the new bear-safe canisters? They only weigh two pounds…"

The doors slid open to let me out into the rain. I hunched over inside my jacket as I dashed for my truck. The rain hammering against the hood sounded unusually loud, too, but soon the roar of the engine drowned out everything else.

I didn't want to go back to Charlie's empty three bedroom house. Last night had been particularly brutal, and I had no desire to revisit the scene of the suffering. Even after the pain has subsided enough for me to sleep, it wasn't over. Like I'd told Jessica after the movie, there was never any doubt that I would have nightmares.

I always have nightmares now, every night. Not nightmares really, not in the plural, because it was always the same nightmare. You'd think I'd get bored after so many months, grow immune to it. But the dream never failed to horrify to me, and only ended with me screaming. Charlie doesn't come in to see me what was wrong anymore, to make sure there was no intruder strangling me or something like that – he was use to it by now. Seth, my little brother, doesn't check on me anymore either.

My nightmare probably wouldn't even frighten someone else. There was nothing, really. Only nothing. Just the endless maze of moss-covered trees, so quiet that the silence was an uncomfortable pressure against my eardrums that made them ring. It was dark, like dusk on a cloudy day, with only enough light to see that there was nothing to see. I hurried through the gloom without a path, always searching, searching, getting more frantic as the time stretched on, trying to move faster, though the speed made me clumsy… Then there would come the point in my dream – and I could feel it coming now, but could never seem to wake myself up before it hit – when I couldn't remember what it was that I was searching for. When I realized that there was nothing to search for, and nothing to find.

That there never had been anything more than just this empty, dreary woods, and there never would be anything more for me. There was just nothing… that was usually about when the screaming started.

I wasn't paying attention to where I was driving – just wandering through empty, wet side roads as I avoided the ways that would take me home – because I didn't have anywhere to go.

I wished I could feel numb again, but I couldn't remember how I'd managed it before. The nightmare was nagging at the corners of my mind and making me think about things that would cause me pain. I didn't want to remember the forest. Even as I shuddered away from the images, I felt my eyes brimming with tears and the aching begin around the edges of the hole in my chest.

As if he'd never existed. Just words, just letters forming words into a sentence, but they ripped the hole wide open, and I stomped on the brake, knowing I should not drive while this incapacitated.

I curled in on myself, pressing my face against the steering wheel and trying to breathe without lungs. I wondered how long this could last.

Maybe someday, months from now, years from now – if the pain would just decrease to the point where I could bear it – I would be able to look back on those few short months that would always be the best of my life. And, if it were possible that the pain would ever soften enough to allow me to do that, I was sure that I would feel grateful for as much time as he'd given me. More than I'd asked for, more than I thought I truly deserved. Maybe someday I'd be able to see it that way, maybe someday I would see it differently than I originally thought.

What a stupid and impossible promise to make… He took everything with him. But that didn't put things back that way they'd been before I'd met him. The physical evidence was the most insignificant part of the equation. I was changed, my insides were altered to the point past beyond recognition. Even my outsides looked different – my face shallow, white expect for the purple circles the nightmares had left under my eyes. My eyes were dark enough against my ashen skin that – if I were beautiful, and seen from a distance – I might even pass for a vampire now. But I was not beautiful, and I probably looked closer to a zombie now.

It was a promise that he could never keep, a promise that was broken as soon as he'd made it. I thumped my head against the steering wheel, trying to distract myself from the sharper pain.

It made me feel silly for ever worrying about keeping my promise. Where was the logic in sticking to an agreement that had already been violated by the other party? Who care if I was reckless and stupid? There was no reason to avoid recklessness, no reason why I shouldn't get to be stupid. He's not here. I laughed humorlessly to myself, still gasping for air.

Reckless in Forks – now there was a hopeless proposition. The dark humor distracted me, and the distraction eased the pain. My breath came easier, and I was able to lean back against the seat. Though it was cold today, my forehead was damp with sweat.

I concentrated on my hopeless proposition to keep from sliding back into the excruciating memories. To be reckless in Forks would take a lot of creativity – more than I had. But I wished I could find some way… I might feel better if I weren't holding fast, all alone, to a broken pact. If I were an oath-breaker, too. But how could I cheat on my side of the deal, here in this harmless little town? Of course, Forks hadn't always been so harmless, but now it was exactly what it had always appeared to be. It was dull, gloomy, it was safe.

I stared out the windshield for a long moment, my thoughts moving sluggishly – I couldn't even seem to make those thoughts go anywhere. I cut the engine, which was groaning in a pitiful way after idling for so long, and stepped out into the drizzle.

The cold rain dropped through my hair and then trickled across my cheeks like freshwater tears. It helped to clear my head. I blinked the water from my eyes, staring blankly across the road.

After a minute of staring, I recognized where I was. I'd parked in the middle of the north lane of Russell Ave. Standing in front of the Cheney's house – my truck was blocking their driveway – and across the road loved the Marks's. I knew I needed to move my truck, and that I ought to get going back to the house. It was wrong to wander the way I had, distracted and impaired, a menace on the roads of Forks. Besides, someone would notice me soon, and report me to Charlie. As I took a deep breath in preparation to move, a sign in the Mark's yard caught my eye, just a big piece of cardboard against their mail post, with black letters scrawled in caps across it.

Coincidence? Or was it just meant to be? I didn't know, but it seemed kind of silly to think that it was somehow fated, that the dilapidated motorcycles rusting in the Marks's front yard beside the hand-printed FOR SALE sign were serving some higher purpose by existing there, right where I needed them to be.

Maybe there were just all kinds of ways to be reckless, and I only now had my eyes open to them. It clicked together for me there and then. I wanted to be stupid and reckless, and I wanted to break promises.

I sloshed through the rain to Marks's front door and rang the door bell.

One of the boy opened the door, the younger one, the freshman. I couldn't remember his name. His sandy hair only came up to my shoulder.

He had no trouble remembering my name. "Bella Swan?" He asked in surprise.

"How much do you want for the bike?" I panted, jerking my thumb over my shoulder towards the sales display.

"Are you serious?" he demanded in disbelief.

"Of course I am."

"They don't work." He protested.

I sighed impatiently, Chris was something I'd already inferred from the sign. "How much?"

"If you really want one, just take it. My mom made my dad move them down the road so they'd get picked up with the garbage."

I glanced at the bikes again and saw that they were resting up in a pile of yard clippings and dead branches. "Are you positive about that?"

"Sure, you want to ask her?" He went to go inside.

"No, I believe you."

"You want me to help you?" He offered. "They're not light."

"Okay, thanks. I only need one, though."

"Might as well take both," the boy said. "Maybe you could salvage some parts."

He followed me out into the downpour and helped me load both of the heavy bikes into the bed of my truck. He seemed eager to be rid of them, so I didn't argue.

"What are you going to do with them?, anyway?" he asked. "They haven't worked in years."

"I kind of guessed that," I say shrugging. My spur-of-the-moment whim hadn't come with a plan intact. "Maybe I'll take them to Dowling's."

He snorted. "Dowling would charge more to fix them than they'd be worth running."

John Dowling had earned a reputation for his pricing, so I couldn't argue with that; none one went to home expect in an emergency. Most people preferred to make the drive up to Port Angeles, if their car was able. I'd been very lucky on that front – I'd been worried, when Charlie first gifted me my ancient truck, that I wouldn't be able to afford to keep it running. But I've never had a single problem with it, other than the screaming loud engine and the fifth-five mile per hour maximum speed limit. Naomi Black had kept it in great shape when it belonged to her father, Billy…

Inspiration hit like a lightning bolt – not unreasonable, considering the storm. "You know what? That's okay. I know someone who builds cars."

"Oh. That's good," he smiled in relief.

He waved as I pulled away, still smiling. He reminds me of Seth, friendly kid.

I had a twinge of guilt when I began to realize how much of a bad older sister I've been for many months now. I miss Seth, always kind and always making me smile no matter what. I felt guiltier when I put myself in his shoes, having to witness what was going on with me. I wondered if he would approve of my new plans with the motorcycles. For one, I knew Charlie wouldn't approve being one of the first people to arrive to a motorcycle accident with a civilian plastered across the pavement.

I drove quickly and purposefully now, in a hurry to get home before there was the slightest chance of Charlie appearing, even in the highly unlikely event that he might knock off early.

"Whoa there, Bella!" Seth, little brother, going to be eighteen in August. He was conceived in December of 1988, three months after my birth, a thick curly head of brown hair and Dad's chocolate brown eyes. I inherited moms sky blue eyes and Dad's curly brown hair. He looked like Charlie more our of the both of us, his eyes widened at me in surprise before relaxing and smiling. "How was work?"

I missed him. I smiled, "Work was slow. Mike let me go early. Do you know the directions to the Black's place – I'm not sure I can remember the way. I want to visit Naomi. I haven't seen her in months."

When Seth spoke again, his face lit up, "Yeah. Can I come with?"

I stopped just before turning the corner to the front door, "Oh wait. I better ring Charlie."

I told Charlie of my plans with Seth and Naomi and assured him we would be back home for dinner, though he tried to tell me not to hurry. He wanted to join us in La Push, and I wasn't having that.

So it was a deadline that I drove too quickly through the storm the storm-darkened streets out of town with Seth's directions. I hoped I could get them alone, Billy would probably tell on me if he knew what I was up to.

While I drove, Seth distracted me from my thoughts as he talked about school and his friends, he recently joined the track team. He also has a girlfriend I seemed to miss hanging around at the house. Even though he talked about her through giving directions, I still hadn't remembered her name. I didn't like her, Seth met her when I.. they were the only ones going strong out of both our romantic relationships, well, not maybe as strong as I thought by Seth's stories.

His girlfriend was being standoffish, but she would freak out if he didn't call. He didn't accept his birthday present he got for her, not after the necklace he got her for Christmas. To me, sounded like she was one of them girls, but he also made me promise not to tell Dad that they were also sexually intimate. By the end of his rant, he asked me what I thought he should do, he didn't want to go to Charlie and he couldn't go to Renee because Renee would go to Charlie. But I was use to this, being his caretaker, his rock when he couldn't get what he needed. That's how it's always been, even though he was younger brother I was his older sister that always made sure we had a roof over our head when Mom was having her flakey episodes. I was the one that made sure he was fed, bathed, clothed. My baby brother, but my kid.

"Are you being… protective?" I asked, glancing at him as the rain beat down and I slowed down to be more cautious on the road.

"Yes. Mike gets me condoms."

"Okay… I can't say too much Seth, you love that girl."

"Yeah, I do but… I don't know. Some of the things she's doing now and says is starting to bother me. I don't know."

"Are you second guessing the relationship?"

"I'm starting too. Oh, turn right here at this corner."

The Black's house was vaguely familiar, a small wooden place with narrow windows, the dull red paint making it resemble a tiny barn. Naomi's head peered out of the window before we could even get out of the truck. No doubt the familiar roar of the engine had tipped her off to our approach. Naomi had been grateful for Charlie buying the truck from Billy for me, saving Naomi from having to drive it when she came of age. I liked my truck very much, but Naomi seemed to consider the speed restrictions a shortcoming.

She met us halfway to the house.

"Hey!" Her excited grin stretched wide across her face, the bright teeth standing in vivid contrast against the deep russet color of her skin. Her hair was in its usual style and longer than before, it fell like black curtains around her down to her knees.

Naomi had grown into some of her feminine potential in the last eight months. She was past the soft muscles of childhood and toned into a early curvy build of a teenager. She didn't have early-puberty level chest anymore either, and her thighs had some weight to them. Her face was still sweet like I remembered it, though it had hardened, too – the planes of her cheekbones were sharper, her jaw defined exposing a long neck, all childish roundness gone.

"Hey, Naomi!" I felt an unfamiliar surge of enthusiasm at her smile. I realized I was pleased to see her. This knowledge surprised me.

"Hey, Nao," Seth greeted just as enthusiastic as us, smiling widely.

I smiled back, and something clicked silently into place, like two corresponding puzzle pieces. I'd forgotten how much I really liked Naomi Black.

She stopped a few feet away from us, and then I realized another thing.

"You grew again!" I accused in amazement.

She laughed, her smile impossibly widening, "Five-seven. Thank God, now I'm not classified as a midget," She proclaimed with self-satisfaction. Her voice wasn't as high, warmer, but it has the soft tone I remembered.

"Still a beanpole, though," Seth teased, there was something between them I couldn't decipher.

"Whatever, Forest Gump," Naomi fired back smiling crookedly at him, "Come inside! You guys are getting all wet."

She led the way, twisting her hair in her slim hands as she braided it and walked. She pulled a rubber band from her hip pocket and wound it around the end pieces.

"Hey, Pops," she called walking through the threshold of the front door. "We have visitors."

Billy was in the tiny square living room, a book in his hands. He sent the book in his lap and wheeled himself forward when he saw Seth and I.

"Well, what do you know! It's good to see you, Bella, Seth."

We shook hands. Mine was lost in his wide grasp.

"What brings y'all out here? Everything okay with Charlie?"

"Yes, absolutely. We just wanted to see Naomi," I started.

"We haven't seen her in forever," Seth finished.

Naomi's eyes brightened, she was smiling so big it looked like it was hurting her cheeks.

"Can y'all stay for dinner?" Billy was eager, too.

"No, I've got to feed Charlie, you know."

"I'll call him now," Billy suggested, "He's always invited."

I laughed to hide my discomfort, "Its not like you'll won't us again. I promise I'll be back soon again – so much you'll get sick of me." After all, if Naomi could fix the bike, someone had to teach me how to ride it.

Billy chuckled in response, "Okay. Maybe next time."

"So, what do you guys want to do?" Naomi asked.

I looked over at Seth, "Whatever." He answered, "What were you doing before we interrupted?"

I'm strangely comfortable here. It was familiar. Only distantly. Vaguely. There were no reminders of the recent past.

Naomi hesitated, "I was heading out to work on my car, but we can do something else…"

"No, that's perfect!" I interrupted. "I'd love to see your car."

"The 1986 Duke Camaro you got?"

Naomi snapped her fingers once pointing at Seth before letting her arm drop back to her side, "That's the one. It's out back, in the garage."

Even better, I thought to myself. I waved at Billy, "See you later."

A thick stand of trees and shrubbery concealed her garage from the house. The garage was no more than a couple of big performed sheds that had been bolted together with their interior walls knocked out. Under this shelter, raised on cinder blocks, was what looked to me like a completed automobile. I recognized the symbol on the grille, at least.

"My 1986 Camaro baby," Naomi stood next to it, smiling proudly.

"How's it going?" Seth asked, smiling.

"Almost finished," she says cheerfully.

"Naomi, what do you know about motorcycles?" I asked, Seth looked at me surprised.

She shrugged, "Some. My friends, Jacob and Embry, both have dirt bikes. We work on it together sometimes. Why?"

"Well…" I pursed my lips as I considered. I wasn't sure if they could keep their mouth shut, but I didn't have any other options. "I recently acquired a couple of bikes, and they're not in the greatest condition. I wonder if maybe you could them running?"

"Awesome," she clapped once, she looked like she was pumped by the challenge, her face glowed. "I'll give it a shot."

"We're rebelling?" Seth asks with his eyes bright with mischievous delight.

I held up one finger in warning, "Thins thing is Charlie doesn't approve of motorcycles," I explained, "honestly, he'd probably bust a vein in his forehead of her knew about this. So you can't tell Billy."

"Okay, okay," Naomi smiled, "I understand."

"I'll pay you," I continued.

This offended her, she gasped which as dramatic by Seth's laughed in response, "Uh no. You can't pay me. Unless you convince Seth to go to the dance with me."

Seth went quiet, his face beginning to tint with blush, "Well… how about a trade, then?" I sensed they have a history I don't know about, I was going to ask Seth later, "I only need one bike Seth and I can share it – and I'll need lessons, too. So how about this? I'll give you the other bike and work on the date with Seth, and then you can teach me."

"Swee-eet," The word was two syllables.

"Wait a sec – are you legal yet? When's your birthday?"

Naomi deflated, "You missed it, it's April 15th." She crossed her arms narrowing her eyes at me in mock resentment, "I'm fifteen."

"Not that your age ever stopped you before," Seth muttered.

"Sorry about your birthday."

"Don't worry about it. I missed both of yours. What are you, forty?" Naomi asks smirking.

I sniffed, "Close."

"We'll make a joint party to make up for it,"

"Sounds like a date." Seth says and Naomi's face darkened as her eyes sparkled at the word.

"Maybe when the bikes are finished – our present to ourselves," I added.

"Deal. When will you bring them down?" Naomi asked.

I but my lip, embarrassed, "They're in my truck now." I admitted, and Naomi smiled with a glint in her eyes.

"Will Billy see if we bring them around?" Seth asked.

She winked at him, "We'll be sneaky."

We eased around from the east, sticking to the trees when we were in view of the windows, affecting a causal-looking stroll, just in case. Naomi unloaded the bikes swiftly from the truck bed, wheeling them one by one into the shrubbery where I hid. It looked too easy for her – I remember the bikes being much, much heavier than that.

"These aren't half bad," Naomi appraised as Seth took one of the bikes out her grasp and pushed it through the cover of the trees. She assisted me with the one I was pushing, "Anyway, this one here will actually be worth something I'm done – it's an old Harley Sprint."

"That one's yours, then."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely."

"How old are you two, eighty?" Seth teased throwing a stray bolt at Naomi's thigh.

"Shush, nincompoop." Naomi turned back to me. "These are going to take some cash, though," she says frowning down at the blackened metal. "We'll have to save up for parts first."

"We nothing," I disagreed, "If you're doing this for free, I'll pay for the parts."

"I don't know…" she mumbled, unsure.

"I've got some money saved. College fund, you know."

College, schmollege, I thought.

It wasn't like I saved up enough to go anywhere special – besides, I had no desire to leave Forks anyway. What difference would it make if I skimmed off a little?

"I'll pitch in." Seth added.

Naomi nodded.

As we skulked back to the makeshift garage, I contemplated my luck. Only a rebellious teenage girl and boy would agree to this: deceiving both our parents while repairing dangerous vehicles using money meant for my college education. Naomi and Seth didn't see anything wrong with that picture. They were both gifts from God.

The motorcycles didn't need to be hidden away further than inside Naomi's shed. Billy couldn't get out here. Naomi started pulling the first bike; the red one, which destined for Seth and I, to pieces immediately. She opened up the passenger door of the Camaro so I could sit on the seat instead of the ground. While Naomi worked, Seth sat near her on the ground, Naomi chattered happily and kept swatting Seth's hand away from the bike. Soon Seth took over keeping the conversation going with questions about sophomore year of high school, talking about her classes and her two best friends.

"Quil and Embry?" I interrupted. "Those are unusual names."

Naomi cackled, "Quil's is a hand-me-down, and I think Embry got named after a soap opera singer. I can't say anything, though. They fight dirty if you crack on their names – tag team roast."

"Good friends?"

"No, they are. Names are just a sensitive topic."

"Nao!" someone shouted from outside, alarming me.

"Oh kill me now," Naomi groaned stopping her work.

"Who's that?" Seth asked before I could.

"The boys, speak his name and he'll come," Naomi shifted in position, "In here!" she called back.

Three teenage boys entered the doorway, one was tall, really tall, slender with chin-length hair that reached his shoulders with mid part and one side was tucked behind one of his ears. The one in the middle was the tallest and looked like the first, but his muscles were thicker, the veins prominent in his arms and hands, his hair was tied up in a bundle at the nape of his neck. The other was burly, he was known to his structure with his well-developed chest straining against his shirt. The tall ones, glanced between the three of us before glancing swiftly between Naomi and Seth, the brawny and tallest boy looked solely at me a slow smile spreading across his face.

"Hey, guys," Naomi greeted returning back to work on the bike.

"Hey, Nao," the short one said without looking away from me. I had to smile in response, he was so impish. When I did, he winked at me, "Hi there."

"Quil, Jake, Embry – these are my friends, Bella and Seth."

Quil, Jake, and Embry, I still didn't know which was which, exchanged a loaded look.

"Charlie's kids, right?" the brawny boy asked, reaching out his name.

"That's right," I confirmed, shaking hands with him. His grasp was firm; it looked like he was flexing his bicep. I heard Naomi sigh heavily.

"I'm Quil Ateara," he announced grandly before letting off of my hand.

"Nice to meet you, Quil."

Quil turned to Seth sitting next to Naomi.

"Hey, Bella. I'm Embry, Embry Call – you probably already figured that out, though." Embry smiled a shy smile and waved with one hand, which he then shoved in his jeans pockets. "Hey, Seth, you still with that chick?"

Seth nodded, "Christine. Yeah."

"Aww that sucks, man," the tallest I was guessing was Jake, said sarcastically with a smirk as Naomi glared up at him. "Jacob Call," Jacob introduced reaching for my hand.

"It's nice to meet you," I shook his hand, he flashed me a bright smile that reminded me of Naomi instantly, the same amount of brightness.

Quil nudged Embry's arm exchanging a grin with him.

"So what are you guys doing?" Quil asked, still looking at me.

"We're fixing up these bikes," Naomi answered while swatting Seth's hand again.

But the word bikes seemed to be the magic word. The trio of boys went to examine Naomi's project, drilling her with educated questions. Many of the words were unfamiliar to me. Seth asked questions that the trio had taken turns answering or correcting the other. They were still immersed in talk of parts and pieces when I decided that I needed to head back home before Charlie showed up. With a sigh, I slid out of the Camaro.

Seth awes knowing it was time to go, Naomi looked up, apologetic, "We're boring, aren't we?"

"Nah," And I wasn't lying, I was enjoying myself truthfully – how strange. "I just have to go cook dinner for the boys."

"We can't stay?" Seth gave me his puppy dog eyes.

I shook my head and Seth stood up, Naomi followed as Jake, Quil, and Embry flanked her, Naomi smacked Quilts hand away from the handlebars.

"Oh… well, I'll finish taking these apart tonight and figure out what more we'll need to get started rebuilding them. When do you want to work on them again?"

"Can we come back tomorrow?" Seth asked before I could, well, he asked me more than he did Naomi. Sunday's were the bane of my existence. There wasn't enough homework to accompany me. Those were the days I dreaded the most.

Naomi backhanded Quil when he snickered quietly.

"That's fine."

"I you make a list, we can go shop for parts," I suggested.

Naomi's dropped a little, she fiddled with a tool in her hands, "I'm still not sure I should let you guys pay for everything."

I shook my head, "No way. I'm bankrolling this party. You just have to supply the labor and expertise."

Embry rolled his eyes at Jake and Quil who smirked.

"Doesn't right," Naomi shook her head.

"Nao, if I took these to a mechanic, how much would he charge me?" I pointed out.

"Not to mention the rising lessons," Seth added.

Jake oohed bending to look at Naomi, she shoved his head away. Quil grinned widely at Embry and whispered something we didn't catch. Naomi held pointed the tool to them threateningly, "That's it, get out."

"No, really, we have to go," I protested, heading for the door, "See you tomorrow, Naomi."

"See ya, Nao," Seth's tone made me turn back to him as he followed me out of the shed.

I involuntarily smile up at him as I was beginning to realize that he liked her, probably more than he realized, his cheeks tinted with blush, he stepped past me with a quiet and embarrassed "shut up, Bells."

I looked back at the trio as Naomi glared at Jake, Quil, and Embry who whispered quietly to her, snickering. I followed Seth and as soon as we were out of sight, I heard the boys chorus, "Wooooo!"

Seth and I looked at each other at the sound of a brief scuffle followed with the sound of a quick clank of clattering metal on wood, interspersed with 'ouches' and a 'hey!'.

"If either of you set so much as one toe on my land tomorrow…" I heard Naomi threaten.

Her voice was lost to the trees as we walked to the truck. We beat Charlie home.

"You like her," I say to Seth when I was frying chicken, I glanced over at him swiftly as he looked up from the book in his hands as he read at the table.

Seth glanced at me with his eyes, "No, I don't." The blood rushing to his cheeks said different.

"Yes, you do," I smirked at him, for one, I've never seen my brother blush unless it was that one girl that he seen when he was five on one of moms travelling trips around the country. That was the first and only time he had ever been speechless and been smitten, he was smitten the whole time sitting next to Naomi. Just being so close to presence, I've never seen him so relaxed.

"I have a girlfriend," Seth says, as of he was reminding himself.

I didn't say anything, he would just to see for himself. Charlie walked in when I was taking fried chicken out of the pan and onto a plate of piled paper towels.

"Hey, Dad," I flashed him a grin.

"Hey," Seth says smiling.

Charlie's face flitted with shock before he pulled his expression together, "Hey, honey," he says uncertain, "Hey, bud."

The phone started ringing and Seth stood up swiftly to catch it, he answered and his face turned away, "Hey, Christie."

Charlie sighed his face changing as he changed back at but consoled himself, "Did you have fun with Nao?"

I started moving the food to the table, "Yeah, we did."

"Well, that's good." He was still cautious, "What did y'all do?"

Now it my turn to be cautious, "We hung out in her garage and watched her work. Did you know she's rebuilding a 1986 Chevrolet?"

"Yeah, I think Billy mentioned that."

"She's almost finished with it," Seth piped in as we sat down at the dining table.

"How's Christie?" Charlie asked as he began making a table.

Seth sighed, he didn't make any moves to make a plate of food, "Mad."

Charlie sighed, "What is it this time?"

"I didn't call her today. I did, I talked to her this morning, she said she had to Port Angeles today. But I guess me not blowing up the phone means I don't love her."

Charlie sighed, cautious when he spoke again both of us noticing how much this was weighing a toll on Seth, "Maybe you should rethink your decisions, think of the future with this. Is she really the girl you want to have a future with?"

Seth didn't answer. After that Charlie just watched our faces as he ate. After dinner, Seth went up to his room and I dithered around, cleaning the kitchen twice, and then did my homework slowly in the front room while Charlie watched a hockey game. I waited as long as I could, but finally Charlie mentioned the late hour. When I didn't respond, he got up, stretched, and then left, turning out the light behind him. Reluctantly, I followed him upstairs.

As I climbed the staircase, I felt the last of the afternoons abnormal sense of well-being drain from my system, replaced by a dull fear at the thought of what I was going to have to live through now. I wasn't numb anymore. Tonight would, no doubt, he as horrific as last night. I lay down on my bed and curled into a ball in preparation for the onslaught. I squeezed my eyes shut and… the next thing I knew, it was morning.

…

Seth

…

I don't even remember falling asleep. I was thinking so much about Christine until I thought about Naomi. And now I was staring at the pale silver light coming through my window, stunned.

For the first time in more than six months, I'd slept without dreaming. For the first time in more than four months I'd slept without waking up to Bella's screaming. I couldn't tell which emotion was stronger – the relief or the shock.

I laid on my bed staring at the ceiling, Naomi's face sticking to the back my eyes, wearing the thoughts of Christine on sight. I was conflicted only because I couldn't Naomi got out of my thoughts, even as I got dressed for the day. Dad was making a pot of coffee, looking refreshed but still worried. The phone rang and Dad answered.

"Good morning, Christine," Dad looked at me and I shook my head rapidly, the sharp pain in my head and in my eye started pulsing. I dropped my head in my hands, rubbing my scalp, "Seth isn't up… okay. Yeah, I'll tell him you called. Yup." And then he hung up and started cooking some eggs.

I wondered what to do today because I really don't want to call Christine or see her. I didn't want to go to see Nao either, but I didn't want to leave Bella either. Maybe this just a reaction because of Christine right now, I wondered about what Dad said. But right now, I didn't want to think about that. I had one more year of high school, and then college. It was more than enough time to begin to think about that. At breakfast, Dad was being careful too. He tried to hide his scrutiny, keeping his eyes on his eggs until he thought I or Bella wasn't looking.

Then he asked the dreaded question, "What are you two up to today?" he asked, eyeing a loose thread on the edge of his cuff like he wasn't paying much attention to the answer.

"We're going to hang out with Nao, again." Bella answered.

He nodded without looking up. "Oh," he says.

"Do you mind?" Bella was eager to leave, so I got up too.

Maybe going won't be such a bad idea. If I decided to stay here, I would call Christine and the rest of my mentality will be as gloomy as it is outside.

"We could stay…"

Dad looked up quickly, a hint of panic in his eyes, "No, no! Go. Harry was going to come up to watch the game with me anyway."

"Maybe Harry could give Billy a ride up," Bella suggested.

"That's a great idea."

With that, I put on my sneakers and pulled on my jacket. Bella shoved her checkbook in her Jack pocket as Dad was on the phone.

The rain was heavier than it was yesterday, it was going down in buckets. Bella drove slowly which seemed to make her anxious, you could hardly see a car length in front of the truck. But we finally made it through the muddy lanes to Naomi's house. Before Bella killed the engine, the front door opened and Naomi came running out with a huge umbrella.

She held it over Bella's door while she opened it.

"It's insane out here," Naomi says with a grin.

"Hi, Naomi," A grin broke across Bella's face when she hopped down next to her.

"Hi, Bells, Charlie called and said you guys were on your way. Good call with getting Billy invited. You alright?" Naomi looked up at me, her dark eyes studying my face.

I went to answer but Bella leaned in close to Naomi and whispered to her, Naomi shifted her eyes to the ground and back up at me.

Naomi glanced over at Bella, "Fuck her. Seth's a freaking sweetheart."

Even though I was a little mad at Bella for telling her, Naomi's reply made my heart skip a beat.

She thinks I'm a sweetheart? My mind started to clear. I looked away from them swiftly and my leg started to bounce.

"Bells," I hopped out of the truck with a sigh of disapproval.

"Hey, don't shoot the messenger," Naomi says as we turn to Harry Clearwater pulling into the driveway for Billy.

Once Harry's vehicle was out of sight, Bella turned to Naomi.

"So where to, Miss. Mechanic?" Bella asks.

Naomi pulled out a folded paper from her pocket, she never wears anything more than sneakers, jeans and long sleeve shirt today it was light grey nude color. Just that, in this weather. She opened it up and smoothed it out, "We'll hit the dump first, see if we can get lucky. This could get a little expensive," she warned Bella. "Those bikes are going to need a lot of help before they'll run again." Bella didn't look surprised if worried enough I guess because she continues, "I'm talking about maybe more than a hundred dollars here."

Bella pulled out her checkbook, she fanned herself with it, Naomi smirked when Bella rolled her eyes at her worries, "We're covered."

"Alright, Mrs. Gilmore." Naomi retorted with a grin.

I deadpanned, "Huh?"

"Mrs. Gilmore. From Gilmore Girls? Yeah, whatever, it's a guilty pleasure. Let's roll out," Naomi says before I climbed back into the truck.

It was a good day despite the slipping rain and ankle deep mud and Bella seemed to enjoy herself even if we were at the dump. I wondered about Bella as we drove to another location, I was thinking about why Bella decided to get bikes and bring them to Naomi. They weren't really friends before but they always enjoyed each other's company when we were kids. It was Naomi and I that had history, she was thirteen and I was two weeks shy of my fourteen birthday, I don't know why right now but I remembered those adult intimate moments between us, two years ago. We didn't even know what we were doing but we did it, well we fooled around, and I really can't believe I was thinking about that.

I wondered if they noticed my silence and it had to be that that some moment we had to go over some pot holes. I don't know what happened but my eyes caught Naomi's boobs bouncing, I stuck for a whole 4.5 seconds before her head began to turn, and I felt blood rushing to my face and my groin. Immediately I shifted to cover my hormonal reaction and looked out the window, and rested my forehead against the cool glass with the rain pounding down.

"Did the stereo break?" Naomi asked after I felt her eyes on me.

"Yeah," Bella answered.

I looked to see Naomi poking around the cavity in the dashboard, "Who took it out? There's a lot of damage…"

"I did," Bella admitted.

I remember when Bella taken a screwdriver to the dashboard, I couldn't even do anything to save it when she had already taken it out.

Naomi laughed, "Maybe you shouldn't touch the motorcycle's too much."

"No problem."

We went to the Checker Auto Parts down in Hoquiam. The more than two hours drive south on the winding freeway went quickly with Naomi talking. I didn't talk to much, Bella asked questions about her friends and school was Naomi talked, Quil had been bold enough to stir up drama by asking out a senior's steady girlfriend. I was kind of wishing I asked to see if could hang out with her friends, the boys, I was enjoying myself but I really didn't know what to do. Maybe I should've just stayed home and watched the game, while they were in Checker I stayed in the truck and I took a moment to breathe and get myself together.

I stepped out of the truck and leaned against the side and looked up at the sky and the scenery around me, the breeze and most was nice as it blow gently over me. Clearing my jumbled thoughts, I relaxed and I didn't too much after that. I joined in the girls conversation about the correct formula for determining age. By the time we got back to La Push, Bella was twenty-three, I was twelve and Naomi was thirty, I didn't get the rules of the formula which deterred me to twelve and Naomi weighted her age with skills. I got three points for being in track. Naomi went right t work when we got back to the garage, Bella went inside to go to the bathroom and Naomi and I were left to silent with soft sounds of clinking metal.

"What's wrong?" Naomi asks and I look over at from staring at the wall with sluggish thoughts.

I shook my head, "Nothing." I lied.

She sighs, she's stop working, "You don't have to lie to me."

"I'm lying," I lied again.

"Seth," she turned towards me, she inhaled sharply, "You lied again… you're quiet. You look stressed."

I looked away from her. I really don't want to talk about this.

"I'm fine. I swear."

"If you're thinking about that bitc-."

"Don't talk about my girlfriend like that." I snapped and then ended all conversation between us.

Creating a huge divide between us. I felt it. I was too angry to even try to salvage a civilized conversation or apology but I couldn't. I was angry with her. And right now, I wanted more than to leave. Bella came back in and I tuned out the following conversation, but I eventually gave up when I kept picking up Naomi's voice. The more I heard Naomi speak the more I thought about her, the more I focused to think about Christine.

I even thought about having sex with Christine but as soon as I thought about that, I could hear Naomi whispering my name in my ear with the scoffed sigh that began to send blood rushing to go my groin. I was thankful to hear Dad calling for us, my mind cleared and blood stopped rushing to a certain region.

"Just leave it," Naomi says to Bella.

Harry Clearwater joined the spaghetti dinner party, I didn't participate in dinner conversation, not even when jokes were thrown around. I was more than happy to go, and I really didn't want to come back.

"Seth," Naomi says catching my forehead which I pulled from her grasp and looked down at her, she wasn't impressed my hard gaze. "I'm sorry I-."

"Save it." I snapped lowly, her face dropped. Her eyebrows furrowed and I think that was the first time I believe I seen her heart break. I ignored it, I wasn't in the mood for emotions, "I don't want to hear it." I was mad and I really didn't want to hear what she had to say, not a word. I turned on my heel and walked away.

The next day at lunch hour I sat at my usual spot which was with my girlfriends three friends and herself, she didn't fully acknowledge my presence. But neither did the other girls. They talked and giggled amongst themselves, I thought about Naomi the whole time.

Getting more mad than I was last night. She didn't have a right to say anything. I didn't even care if she thought highly of me. I didn't care. Even when she came over on Wednesday I had managed to keep my distance, and quite frankly nobody asked why. Unless they did when I wasn't around. I didn't care either way but for the rest of the week all I thought about was her, and the expression that flashed in her eyes. Always between anger and regret.

Christine didn't answer when I did call after Tuesday, and she continued to ignore me at school. I was raked with anxiety over Christine and over Naomi. I was conflicted and I didn't sleep Thursday night into Friday morning. I watched the sun rise behind the clouds, I dragged myself through school and didn't sit at my usual table. I took the Cullen's old table and walked on homework. But I ended up staring out the windows watching the rain fall against the glass.

On Friday after school, Bella was about to leave to La Push when Christine in her older sisters car, with her older sister parked blocking the driveway. I looked over at Bella who looked at me through her window as I walked to Christine meeting me halfway.

"Hey, what's going on?" I asked, she scowled at me.

"Us," She replied.

"What do you mean?" I asked stopping a few feet from her.

"What do you mean what do I mean us? Us, Seth. Haven't you noticed? You've been a complete ass this whole week."

Everything snapped into place as soon as those came out of her mouth.

"Excuse me?"

"You don't call. You don't talk to me. You're broke. God, you didn't even ask me to prom." She laughed to herself, rolling her eyes, she didn't seem hurt. She seemed pleased, "You won't even fuck me. That's okay, I fucked Mike at lunch today."

What did she just say? I felt rage consume my body spreading throughout my chest and into my limbs. I heard her correctly but I didn't believe I did.

"What did you just say?" I demanded.

Christine looked up at me smiling, and tossing her blonde hand over her shoulder, "I fucked Mike."

"You cheated on me?"

All I could think about was his dick inside of her.

She laughed, "no, it's just sex. What we have is real."

I felt my face dead pan, "You cheated."

"No." She twirled hair on her finger innocently.

Then, as if Naomi has possessed my body, the words I cut her off from saying almost a week ago bubbled in my throat, "You're really going to come here and tell me I'm all these things but you cheated on me?! You're a such a fucking bitch!"

"Seth!" Bella grabbed my arm and pulled me away, "Seth. Stop, stop. Come on," Bella pushed me to the path to the house.

Once Bella let me go I went back into the door and slammed the front door closed, I trashed my room before I wrapped myself in my blanket. All I thought about was Christine having sex with Mike, repeatedly, I couldn't believe she would do anything so vile. I can't believe she invited it. Everything everyone has been saying for months attacked me, from every person that told me to leave Christine alone attacked me mentally. I curled up into a ball as I succumbed to a panic attack.

A knock sounded from the doorway behind me, I heard cautious footsteps enter my bedroom.

"Hey," Naomi called softly, of course it had to be her. All that anger I had towards her, disappeared the moment those words left Christine's mouth. Just the word hey coming out of her mouth sprayed sunshine through the muck of my mind, "It's look like your room was hit by a category five Hurricane, Seth."

I sighed heavily under my blankets, I pushed the blanket off me and twisted to look at her, "If you're here to say I told you so. Just don't." I turned back around as she found her way through the floor of clothes and pieces of things from around my room.

I felt her weight weigh down my mattress behind me, my heart skipped a beat when I felt her sit behind me, a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"I wasn't," she says, her tone warm and soft.

I couldn't fathom how she just swooped in and chased away the darkness in mind like an angel.

"Why are you here?"

She rubbed my arm, "Because… I want to be."

I scoffed, "even after what I said to you?"

"Yeah," she says with an inhale and then she exhaled, "Even after what you said."

"Why?"

"Because I want to be."

I turned around to look at her, the blanket irritating me and I kicked it off, she just watched me as I was slowly began to lose my cool with fabric. She grabbed the blanket and shoved it, it tumbled to the floor.

"You know, watching you fight with an inanimate object was the highlight of my day."

I glared at her, her pretty brown eyes did something to me I didn't understand and I really didn't want to smile but I did, "I'm supposed to be mad."

She put her hands in surrender still smiling and I gave up, sighing heavily and I felt my whole body slump. Once my head hit the mattress, I stared at her outer thigh clad in dark jeans, her shirt was a pale neutral purple color. She had a thing for pale colors with different tones infused. I involuntarily sighed in relaxation when she climbed her fingers through my hair, her whole aura changed to the softest warm I've ever experienced. Softer and warmer than Bella's when she comforted me, and I wanted comfort.

I wanted it so badly right now. I can feel the anger subsiding into sadness the more Naomi's fingers and nails massaged my scalp, the more she massaged the more I felt my walls breaking down.

"You know I'm here for you, always." She said softly and that's what did it.

She let me rest my head on her lap, she combed her fingers through my hair as the hot tears fell silently from my eyes with sniffles. That's all she had to do, all she had to do was run her fingers through my hair and I was putty in her hands. My tears built up more and then I was crying on her chest as she held my head to her chest. It was the first time I cried like this, and it was all because of Naomi, her calm aura that drew out my soul when I boarded it. She always brought it out.

It scared me. It scared me because… I became vulnerable so easily. Everything was easy with her. So natural. So naturally I calmed down back down to sniffles with her fingers running through my hair.

"She cheated on me," I said quietly.

"Fuck her," she replied quietly.

"She cheated on me and I yelled at you."

"Shit happens."

"I yelled at you and you're here."

"You didn't yell. You were sticking up for her. I can't be mad at that."

"But I was," I said pulling away and sitting on my legs, she adjusted and curled one leg up. "I was mad at you."

"What'd I do?"

"Just being yourself." I grumbled hopefully she wouldn't press on but I knew her better than that.

"And that's a bad thing?"

"It is when I can't stop thinking about you."

Ah, shit. My mind choruses.

"I thought we were talking about Christine?"

"We are."

"Doesn't sound like it. You said you can't stop thinking about me."

I sighed, frustrated with myself. Why did I have to say that?

"That's not what I meant."

Naomi sat up and caught my eye sight again, her curtain of hair falling around her and on my mattress, "Then what do you mean, Seth?"

I didn't answer. Instead, I was lost in her eyes and maybe it was because of Christine and what happened but I kissed her. I kissed her hard, and it shocked me. But I didn't pull away, kissing her felt like my lips were attacked by electrical tingling that shoot down my spine and into my groin. What I did next shocked me, but when she allowed me to shocked me even more.

She sighed against my lips when two of fingers slipped slowly into her pussy, I moaned breathy against her mouth feelings her walls greet me with heat and pulsing. I missed her again stealing her breath curling my fingers against her frontal wall making her moan softly. Something took over me in that instant, I pulled the jeans from her legs along with her underwear, she assisted me in taking off my own with our lips still locked. I followed her back to the mattress as I parted her legs with my hands, her pulling me closer was an indication to go keep going.

My forehead fell against hers as she inhaled sharply when I entered her body, her fluttering eyelids opened again and then she gasped in pain. Her eyes brimming with tears made my heart stop in my chest, she began to resist me, she's a virgin and I was taking it. I licked my fingers and found her clit, rubbing circles to decrease the pain.

"I'm sorry," I kissed her several times, "I didn't mean to hurt you."

She panted, her hands coming up to my chest, "It's okay, I'm okay." She kissed me again and she began to relax, I son began to feel her respond to my work on her clit.

"Do you want to stop?"

She shook her head, a hint of panic flashed in her eyes, she pulled me closer by my shirt, "No, no."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded wiggling her hips, she inhaled deeply, "Yes. Yes. I want you." She kissed me again and I pushed further into her, all the way that I could go.

I gave her time to fully adjust to me but she grew impatient and began wiggling her hips again. Naomi locked eyes with me as I moved. Finding a pace submerged in walls of liquid heat, everything in me wanting to see through to the end. I wanted to see how much I could make her moan, how loud I could get her, how she would sound when I brought her to release. I wanted her.

I wanted only her, right here, right now. Forever.

"You," I groaned in pleasure at her pulsing pussy around my length, my eyes closing for a brief moment before I opened them again. Her eyes meeting mine with her face contoured in pleasure, "You, I want you."

Her pretty brown eyes staring into my soul as her mouth parted and her upper back arched, her right leg raised up on my waist and I grabbed it, holding it in place. Straightening my back somewhat and looking down at her rosy russet pussy accepting my porcelain cock, soaking it in her clear juices, I so badly wanted to taste now. I exited out of her and lowered down her body to her womanhood, her legs opened and she gasped in surprise as I licked her length and sucked and licked her clitoris. She covered her mouth with one hand as the other gripped at my hair.

"Hey, I'm home!" I heard Dad call down stairs.

Immediately we broke away, Naomi scrambled pulling her jeans back on and left my door closing the door behind me. I pulled on my jeans and ran my fingers through my hair, panting, I looked back at my bed where I had just been. Where Naomi had been. Where I had her sprawled open for me, where she laid wanting what I wanted to do to her. I bustled around my room, cleaning up the destruction I caused. Her essence was still on my tongue, on my lips, on my fingers.

I had been inside her. I felt her body. I felt her breathe. I felt her blood. I felt every move inside of her. I felt her soul.

I sat down on my bed when I realized what we had done. What I had done… What did I do?...