A/N: Thank you for all the overwhelming reviews and private messages. I am going to respond to them during the week. They help me with my ideas and push the story along. If you're still reading, thank you. We will be moving things along in the next few chapters as our couple tries to fight the love. We all know, though, in the end, love wins. Happy reading everyone. Please leave a review if you can.
Chapter 13—Decisions
Olivia began to dress for the second saddest day of her life. Today was the funeral for Tyler, her high school sweetheart. The funeral for the boy who taught her how to love without boundaries. Tyler, the boy who loved her despite knowing all the baggage she was carrying.
She looked in the mirror and she looked at her body. She started to sob. Tyler never saw this part of her, and she had every intention of showing him soon. God has a way with things we don't question, and Tyler died never seeing all of her. There was no doubt in her mind Tyler wouldn't have cared. He would have embraced her, loved her, and accepted the scars as part of her. She could only imagine that, because his young life was cut short, and here she was preparing her final farewell.
The car accident was the saddest day of her life. She never had the chance to say goodbye to her father. She was in a coma during his funeral. She said goodbye to him as he lay dead on her lap in the car, but that was an image she tried to get out of her mind daily. It didn't work, but when she did visit his gravesite, she spoke to him. Now, she was speaking to him from her room. She asked him to embrace Tyler, if in fact there was a heaven. She took one last look at herself and crashed on the bed.
She couldn't stop the crying and she wanted Tyler there. She wanted his arms around her, she wanted to rest her head on his shoulder. He was just right and she would fit perfectly in them. He was hers and she was his, and now her life screeched to a stop once again, and Olivia really didn't want to ever love again.
When Maya came in to check if she was ready, she saw Olivia sobbing on the bed. She sat next to her and rubbed her back. Olivia had no clothes on above her waist, and she was lying belly down. As Maya rubbed her only child's back, she encouraged her to "let it out." "I loved him Mom, I loved him, I loved Tyler, I really did. I gave myself to him, he gave himself to me. Why, mom, why did this happen?"
Maya had no correct answer and all she could offer was comfort. This would put a stall on Olivia's healing, and she would be there for her. All Maya could muster up was "God does things for a reason, and we may never know those reasons, or one day those reasons will hit us head on. Until then, we must live. We are here to live, baby." Olivia sat up and gobbled Maya in a hug.
Her mother rocked her back and forth and gave all the love from her heart to her young daughter. She pulled Olivia's face from her chest and while wiping away her tears, she spoke. "Do not let this discourage you from living. One day, you will find love again, and I hope you embrace it. Someone is out there who will love you just as Tyler did, if not more. Tyler would want you to be loved, as would your father. If you ever get the chance to be loved, and you feel something in return, grab that bull by the horns, Livvie."
Olivia's car sat on the same patch of grass it sat on less than one week ago. She wasn't stressed or scared, she just pulled there to gather her thoughts. Fitz had been taken into custody. He had assaulted Devin, a Deputy sheriff. Fitz was protecting Olivia. The only reason he struck the officer was because the officer had his hands on her. She took a deep, long breath remembering the anger in his eyes. She recalled the look when he heard her voice to stop, and the anger changed to comfort. He truly does care deeply for her.
She began to tear up again. She should be on her way to the station. She should be there for him, helping him. Her bag was in her trunk. Instead of heading to the station, she was heading for the highway. She wanted to be back in her condo in NYC by tomorrow. She was running from any chance of being loved, of loving, it scared her.
She can put this week out of her memory. She can forget anything ever happened. She never met Fitz, Daisy, Abby, Sophie, and the McClellan family. She never heard the name Mellie and saw her deceiving face, her baby bump. She didn't have two of the best days of her life in Vermont, one being her fall picnic and the other her fairytale. It never happened.
She held her face in her hands. The last time she was on this grass area, Fitz opened her door and cradled her in his arms. He had no judgment, just affection and he comforted her back to reality. What she wouldn't give to feel that again, to have his arms…..Mellie's baby. Was it his? He never answered the question.
This was all too much for Olivia. The only solace she had was she told him about Edison. He now knows she knows him, but even that didn't phase Fitz at all. Not when it came to Olivia. He seemed to accept everything about her, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Maybe her scarred body would scare him away, but even that didn't seem likely. He proclaimed that on the stage before. "It's what's inside."
She composed herself, wiped her face with a tissue, and put her car into drive. It's your past now Olivia, go back to what you do best. She clicked on the Bluetooth to call Mr. Harris as her car began to move.
Fitz sat across from Bryce in the interrogation room. Bryce never felt more uncomfortable in his life. He loved Fitz like a brother, and it tore at his heart strings that he had to arrest him and charge him. He did see firsthand with Edison how angry and violent Fitz could get. He could only imagine how those two emotions came out when he thought Olivia was in danger.
They were waiting for Olivia to come to give her statement. Her statement could release Fitz, having proven it was in self defense. They wouldn't have to go to the court and set bail. If DJ wanted to continue with the charges, they would need his statement and he was in the hospital in surgery right now.
Bryce had received a call from Lara after she took Daisy from Olivia. Olivia had said she would be on her way to the station, but that was well over an hour ago. Bryce tried calling her once, but it went right to voicemail. He thought of the day she was off to the side of the road on the grass. He didn't want to worry Fitz. He was beginning to get concerned now, because without a statement, he would need to put Fitz in cell.
Bryce looked at his friend's hand. The skin was still raw where he guessed it met DJ's face. The doctor had given a statement. DJ had a clean broken nose and a fractured cheekbone. Bryce knew Fitz was strong, having jogged daily and practiced boxing in his basement, so the injuries to a puny guy like DJ didn't surprise him. What did surprise Bryce was Fitz ignored the likes of DJ for five years. Fitz knew DJ hated him, but today it seemed all that dislike for DJ, Fitz took out on DJ's face. There was more to the story, and his attack. Something sparks inside of Fitz during an anger episode, Bryce just wished Fitz would let him know what.
"You want some ice for that hand?" Bryce finally broke the silence.
Fitz looked down at his hand. He covered it using the other hand. "No, I am fine. Have you heard from Olivia?" Fitz couldn't stop thinking of her. Then, each time he thought of her, he saw the look in her eyes when Mellie started speaking on stage. Then, he thought of Mellie, and he had to breathe to control his anger. He couldn't even speak to Mellie let alone look at her.
"She's on her way. You know she's new in town, give her time. She'll be here." Bryce said it, but he didn't believe it himself. There was a knock at the door and the officer said Bryce was needed on the phone.
Being alone in the room, Fitz put his face in his hands. He moved them up and rubbed them through his hair. He had so much to figure out and he didn't know where to begin. It was inevitable his father wouldn't put his two cents in on all this soon enough. Mellie was probably on the phone with him now, if she hadn't been already.
Then his thoughts went to Olivia. She knew Edison Davis. What were the odds? He didn't care. He doesn't care. He needs, wants, longs for Olivia in his life. The past week has been the best week of his life since he left that dreadful cell in Iraq. They belonged together and they both knew this. But, now what? Will Edison come back to town to wreak havoc? Good let him. Edison's in love with Olivia? It will give him another reason to beat the crap out of him again. He closed his eyes, thought of her picture in his room and calmed himself. He needed more information from her, but he didn't want to push things, especially not tonight, not after what happened.
Mellie and her baby bump. What the hell was that? She was bold, he knew that, but why did she do it like that? He had never been mean to her, had never hurt her, and had always been supportive of her. What made her do that today? So, she's having a baby. Is she really claiming he could be the father?
He looked down at the tallies he had been keeping in the dirt. It was day 515 since he'd been captured. His body fell numb to hunger, thirst, and pain. His only survival was thinking of his Natalie. If he got out, which he never gave up hope on getting released, he was going to marry her. He wanted a life now. He wouldn't wait.
He began to dream of a life outside of imprisonment. He thought of children. Two children, twins, one boy one girl. Natalie had a history of twins in her family, perhaps they would have an instant family. The boy would look just like his mother, blue eyes, black hair and fair skin. The girl would look just like Fitz, green eyes (mix with mom) and sandy brown hair. They would swim in their pool in the summer, ski on the mountains in winter, and go for long walks in the spring.
That is something that kept Fitz going, his desire to be a father, to be someone when he got out. This couldn't all be for nothing. Something had to come from this torture, from this loneliness, from this darkness. Yes, he would have a family, he would be a father, and he would be the best father on the planet. He would make babies with the woman he loves, and they would live in happiness.
Mike had already come in to translate. From what he could decipher, plans were being made and bargains were being made. Fitz was valuable a prisoner to them because of the clout his father held in Washington DC. It was all Fitz could do was dream of his release and his imaginary family.
As Mike and the Iraqi soldier left him in his cell for the night, he dreamed of his happiness and just for a few hours, the darkness disappeared.
Now, in this dreadful room, Olivia covered his thoughts. She was his happiness now. Natalie had broken his heart, but it's a good thing she had, because Olivia is who he wanted for a mother for his children. From the moment he saw her standing on that porch, he knew the Gods intervened somehow. His relationship with Natalie wasn't meant to be. He belonged not only with, but also to Olivia Pope.
Now, he saw two children that looked like him and Olivia. They looked so much better, because he knew that's what was meant to be. If only he could get over these obstacles. He wasn't concerned with his arrest, these pathetic charges, as much as he was concerned with his father, with Mellie, and how his relationship with Olivia could move forward.
He was thinking this as if Olivia hadn't already run to back to New York. She should've been here by now, but he saw the look in her eyes, and just as Natalie had moved on with her life, he couldn't blame Olivia for running. Feeling exhausted, he folded his arms on the table in front of him and rested his head. He drifted off to sleep thinking of his princess on stage as he lovingly kissed her.
Mellie was pacing back and forth for about an hour now. She would sit for a few minutes, open the door, search the darkness, and then go back to pacing. She hadn't heard a word from Fitz, not even a phone call. Where was he? What was he doing? Did she finally push him away this time?
In her defense, she did try to call him earlier today to warn him she would be there. He didn't answer the phone. He left her no choice but to show up at the dumb festival. OK, maybe she shouldn't have made the entrance like she did, but seeing him kiss that woman like that, it burned her. He kissed her, passionately, in front of the whole town. The town that idolizes him, loves him, he was showing his feelings for this woman Mellie had never even met.
His father hadn't mentioned Fitz being in a relationship the last time she spoke to him. Big Gerry wanted them together anyway, so why would he encourage a relationship with someone else? There was no way Big Gerry knew about this. She needed to call him first thing in the morning.
Mellie thought for sure once Fitz saw she was pregnant it would be it. She would finally have him in her grasp. He would want her, raise a family with her. He had to have an idea that the baby could be his. This is why she risked it all today and got up on that stage. She wanted the town to know their golden boy would be willing to raise a family in the town he loves so much.
She checked the time. It was just about midnight. Should she be worried? She had Bryce's phone number, she could call him. He would know where Fitz was. The two were connected at the hip, despite Bryce having a full blown family. She tried Bryce's cell phone, but he didn't pick it up. She called the sheriff's station, that's when the officer said he would get Bryce on the phone.
When Bryce left Fitz in the room, he answered Mellie's call. It was the last person he wanted to talk to, but he gave her the courtesy for calling. She was concerned about Fitz and why he hadn't returned home yet.
"I know my actions tonight were immature, Bryce, but I am worried about him. You know he doesn't open up too well. I just don't know where he is. Is he with you, with Lara or Sophie?"
Bryce took a deep breath. "He's fine Mellie. He's here with me. We have just been talking, he just needs some time to process everything from tonight."
"Bryce, who is that woman. Where is she from? Was all that for real what I witnessed on the stage with her?"
"Mellie, it's not my place to tell you Fitz's business, I am sure when he gets home, he will talk with you. It's obvious the two of you have a lot to talk about. Is he the father, Mellie?"
"Hmmm, my turn, it's not my place to tell you Fitz's business. I am sure after we talk, he will have a talk with you. I am glad he is safe. Tell him I am here, and I will wait to talk to him. Tootles, Bryce, say hi to the kiddies and wife for me."
Bryce rolled his eyes as Mellie hung up on the call. As much as he was going to try, he didn't think Fitz was going to open up to him. He looked at his watch. He was going to give Olivia a few more minutes, then he would have to break the news to Fitz that he has to stay.
Before Bryce opened the door to continue talking to Fitz, he glanced in the room through the window. Although he looked uncomfortable, he was sound asleep. Far be it from Bryce to wake him up. He decided against entering the room and sat to give Lara a call. Perhaps Olivia had reached out to her.
She never did make it to the highway. After she drove off the grass, she pulled in front of Sophie's. She never did put that call in to Mr. Harris, either. It's as if something gripped her heart and stopped her. There was a light on and she knocked lightly on the door. Sophie was cooking some entrees for the Saturday afternoon rush, and let Olivia in. Abby and Leo were at home, so it was just the two of them.
After spending an hour talking to Sophie, Olivia made up her mind. She chose to come to Rutland. She didn't fathom she would meet Fitz, but she did. She would have never guessed she would fall as hard as she was falling for him, but she was. Was this God's reason she survived? Was this why Tyler died? Was she meant to be with Fitz?
Sophie told her the history between Fitz and DJ. She told Olivia about DJ's past and how he's always gotten away with everything. Sophie has no doubt DJ entered those woods to something other than just help out Olivia.
"He saw the opportunity to hurt Fitz using you. He probably thought you would embrace his help, and when you didn't he had no choice but to get angry, it's just like him. As for Fitz, I've seen his temper come out occasionally. He's holding something in and when he gets angry it's bad.
"Have you ever seen him blackout, Sophie? He blacked out the second night I was here. I held him for two hours, I was afraid to leave him. Do you know what that is about?"
Sophie nodded her head up and down. "I have seen him black out, and it is very scary. That was noble of you to stay with him and brave that out with him, I am sure he was grateful. We were here one night. I was catering for a big town event Fitz had put together. He likes to cook, so he was here helping me. It was just him and I. He had lived in Rutland for about six months at that time. There was a passing thunderstorm, but thunderstorms in Rutland are very loud and rainy."
"He mentioned to me that loud noises aren't his thing." Olivia interrupted.
"Yes, I found that out on that night. After three loud bursts of thunder, I came out from the kitchen to find him over there," she pointed towards the corner. "He was sitting, sweating through his clothes and shaking. I had no idea how to handle it, but he just held my hand. He rested his head on my shoulder and fell asleep. After an hour, he jolted up, but didn't remember a thing."
"Yeah, he didn't seem to remember anything when it happened when I was there. Do you know what triggers it, Sophie, I asked, but he wasn't ready to go there?"
Sophie patted Liv's shoulder. "I will tell you, he has told me things, things about being deployed overseas. It is not my place to tell you because that would breech his confidentiality to me. I love Fitz very much, he's like a son to me, like a brother to Abby. Olivia if you want to know about Fitz, you can't run, you can't leave him. I will tell you this, he has very deep feelings for you. He didn't have to tell me that, I could see the difference in his demeanor, and from what I witnessed, what the town witnessed in the park, he verified it. I think you verified your feelings as well. You have a decision to make, Olivia, and I can't make it for you." Sophie stood up, as Olivia did also. She reached and gave her an encouraging hug. Olivia walked out to her car after thanking Sophie.
Olivia got back into the car. She had never been behind the wheel more than she was tonight. She wanted to run, but she didn't. Tonight had been a whirlwind of emotions. Thinking back to DJ and what happened, it hadn't even dawned on her that Fitz ran into the dark woods. He ran into the darkness rather than avoiding it, all because she was there. Now, here she is, driving all around town, it should be for him, not for her own avoidance. She took a deep breath, knowing damn well what she had to do.
Olivia's grip on the steering wheel became tighter. She began thinking of Fitz, alone in the station. Was he waiting for her? Her eyes began to fill with tears. She couldn't do it. She couldn't do this to him. If he was waiting for her if he wasn't waiting for her, she needed to know. With her car rolling slowly, she approached the station. She put her car in park and her decision was made.
Bryce turned around as he heard the door open to the station and heard the foot steps coming his way. He had never been more relieved to see someone as he was to see Olivia walk through that door. He stood up and put his arm around her. "Thank you so much for not running. He's a nervous wreck." Bryce pulled the chair out next to her desk and called an officer over. "You need to tell us what happened in those woods, Liv."
Olivia was exhausted, just numb with so many feelings. She built up the strength she needed, and she spoke about from the time she fell, to the time DJ approached her. "I had asked for you, but he said no because you were busy. He seemed to get angry that I wasn't accepting his help. I did become afraid. When Fitz came upon us, the officer had his hand on my shoulder as I was asking him to let go. Having see him not let go, Fitz grabbed him. I have no doubt, Sheriff, that DJ would have come back at me if Fitz did not hit him."
Bryce was writing this down. "How about the next hit, was there ample reason for Fitz to hit him a second time?"
Liv pursed her lips. There really wasn't, and this was where Fitz could get in trouble. "I began to walk towards Fitz, and DJ went to stop me by holding his hand out for me to trip, that's when Fitz hit him again. I was afraid I would trip again, having already hurt my ankle."
Olivia kept her face serious. Bryce stared at her scrape on her face, still fresh. He had no reason not to believe her. The only reason Fitz gave for hitting DJ was "he had it coming." Bryce nodded towards the officer. "Do you feel there's enough to let him go?"
"I didn't hear anything otherwise; I think he's free to go." Bryce stood up and told Olivia to follow him.
Olivia glanced in the window and saw Fitz passed out, head down on the table, and it was pulling at her heart. She held her breath not to let out a sob because she just wanted to hold him. He must've thought she left him for good.
Liv stood behind Fitz as Bryce poked his shoulder. "Fitz, buddy, you need to wake up."
Fitz raised his head, startled as to not sure where he was. He looked side to side. "Livvie? Where's Liv, is she here yet?". Bryce turned his head towards Liv and that made Fitz turn around. His eyes met hers and Liv nodded. "I'm here."
Fitz jumped up and grabbed Liv by the waist and lifted her up with his face squashed into her neck. He began kissing her neck, he was just so happy to see her. "I thought you were halfway to NY right now." He placed her back down.
"No, Mister, you're stuck with me," Liv said still shivering from the goosebumps Fitz gave her by kissing her neck. "Let's go face Mellie, I am not giving you up without a fight. Day by day Fitz and whatever happens, we will be in it together. After all, we are neighbors."
Olivia admitted to Fitz she was physically and emotionally exhausted. She was in no condition to get behind the wheel and Fitz had no problem driving back home. He began speaking to Olivia in the car, opening up to her, to give her more of a perspective about his situation with Mellie.
"Mellie was here July 4th weekend, that's the last time I saw her. I know if you do the math, the baby seems that much along. But, Liv, think about what I told you, what happens on July 4th."
Liv looked at him, wide eyed, shocked. "Fireworks, that's what happens. You were having panic from the fireworks going to begin weren't you? Loud noises aren't your thing. You had an episode in front of her, didn't you?"
"That's it, I don't know, Livvie, I really don't know. The whole day is a damn blur to me. I don't remember much. I just remember her asking if we could go see the fireworks and I adamantly said no. I don't remember Liv," his teeth were clenched now, and his frustration was evident. "I know I am out of it, but I don't think I would have had sex with her, Liv."
The car pulled into her driveway. He was shaking his head over again. "I wouldn't have Liv, there's no way I would have." She grabbed his neck and pulled him towards her.
"I have seen you during those episodes, you wouldn't be in any condition for anything physical Fitz. Does she know how you feel about loud noises?"
Fitz shook his head, "yeah, she knows, she knows about my time over there."
It was now clear to Olivia. In her gut, Fitz was not the father of that child. Mellie was straight up taking advantage of him and she would not have that. Mellie was using Fitz's weakness for her advantage. Oh hell no!
Olivia was grabbing her bull by the horns.
She reached in to her compartment, pulling out the flashlight. "Come on Mister, let's get you home. Walk with me."
"What about your ankle? Are you ok to walk?" Fitz noticed Liv limped slightly to the car outside the station.
"It's fine. It's still sore, but yeah, I can walk. For you I'll walk miles." She smiled and Fitz's heart came to life again.
"I guess I have to face her eventually." They began their path to Fitz's house. There were plenty of lights still on, Mellie was surely awake.
They stepped on to Fitz's porch. Fitz caressed Liv's cheek with the scrape. "Thank you for coming for me tonight. You sure you are ok?"
"I'll be fine, Fitz. Someone took good care of me after the fall." Olivia watched him. He gave a small smirk and turned towards the door.
"You know, along with her in there", Olivia nodded her head towards the door, "we have this DJ nonsense to deal with."
"As long as we can do it together, I'm good." He smiled down at her once more before reaching for the door.
Just before he grabbed the doorknob, Olivia jumped and grabbed his hand. He turned and she put herself against the door. As she pulled his lips to hers, her other hand purposely rang the bell. She pulled Fitz's neck towards her forcefully, separating his lips with her tongue, and gave a moan.
Fitz did something she never would have expected. His hand reached up her shirt and grabbed her right breast as the kiss continued passionately. Olivia didn't even flinch, she was not afraid of him knowing about her scars. Now with the breathing getting heavier and Olivia moaning feeling his hand on her breast. She began to feel her core ache, and she pulled away just as Mellie opened the door.
Fitz, not even realizing the door was opened, continued to kiss down her neck, but releasing his hand out from her shirt, and used this opportunity to say it right into Olivia's ear. "Livvie, I am falling in love with you." He pulled her in to a hug and noticed Mellie staring at them, with her mouth wide open.
Liv turned to Mellie, smiled and said "so nice to see you again. That baby bump sure looks good on you. How far along are you? Oh, never mind, we'll chat another time" She turned back to Fitz. "I had an amazing night with you, Mister, I will see you tomorrow." She planted one deeper kiss on his lips. She turned to Mellie. "So nice to have met you Mellie, enjoy your stay." Liv turned on the flashlight and headed back in the direction of her house.
Fitz looked at Mellie, raised his eyebrows up. He gave a shrug and stepped into his house. He didn't know how long he would tolerate her, but with what just happened, he was floating on cloud 9. To Fitz, Mellie wasn't even on the same planet as he was.
As Olivia walked back to her home, she thought of all the ways to keep Fitz away from Mellie. She would meet with Lara, Abby, and Sophie to discuss further ideas. No way Mellie was going to claim her man, and Olivia heard the words over again Fitz said: He's falling in love with her. She couldn't contain the smile that took over her face. She entered her home, straight to her bedroom and grabbed the picture she had next to her bed. She brushed her hand over Fitz's face. "Same, Mr. Grant, I'm falling in love with you too. She looked up to the heavens. Oh, God, help me through this. "
Before she fell asleep, her phone rang, thinking it was Fitz, she picked up immediately. "Hey mister, miss me already?"
"Yes, I miss you, but you may need me to head up there to watch you." Liv was surprised to hear Huck's voice on the phone.
"Where are you? What are you talking about?" Liv was confused, and now, she was nervous.
"Check your phone, you should have pictures coming through."
Liv pulled the phone from her ear and looked at the screen. She saw the pictures from the event loading through. She put the phone back to her ear.
"Where did you get them?" she asked nervously.
"They were sent to Edison, from someone named DJ. He received them earlier. Liv, Edison knows you're not in Paris. I am home, do you need me to head up there or should I distract him here? I don't know how long I can do that, but I don't trust what he will do to you."
Suddenly, Liv felt numb again. Just when she thought she took care of one problem, along comes another. "OK, stay there. Keep your eyes and ears open. If anything changes let me know immediately. You may be my roommate soon enough. Thank you so much, Huck, I don't know what I would do without you."
Liv took a deep breath as she pulled the blankets up to her shoulders. She couldn't think anymore and wondered how DJ had any connection to Edison. Her mind couldn't take it anymore, she was exhausted and she would tackle that tomorrow as well.
She looked at the picture on her nightstand one more time. "Livvie, I'm falling in love with you." That was the last thing she heard as she fell into a deep sleep charging herself for another day gradually letting herself be loved.