downtown magix

magix

"It's open!"

Brandon pushed open the door. "Hey dude," he called as he followed Riven inside. "It's us." Timmy's apartment was well-kept and normal looking, certainly up to Brandon's own fairly low standards, but he had to swallow the sense of dread he always felt crossing the threshold.

"Hey," said Timmy as he came into the room. Brandon analyzed his friend's appearance instantly, as though he were evaluating some kind of situation at Redfountain. Like any given Redfountain situation, he had expected it to be a disaster, but instead Timmy looked fine. Shaved. Dressed normally. Not overly tired or sleep deprived. Not so carefully put together it was a front for his friends. Still, he wasn't comforted. "How have you guys been?"

"Good," said Riven, quickly glancing at Brandon. He had obviously observed the same things.

"Good," said Brandon. "We came to see how you were."

"I said I was fine when you guys called," Timmy said with a frown. "Not that it's not good to see you two, but I wish you'd believe me."

"But you haven't stopped with this," Riven said somewhat quietly. There was an undertone of anger in his voice, which Brandon supposed was better than an overtone of anger. They were both looking at the floor.

There was a tense silence. A hundred old arguments ranging from quiet and sympathetic to yelling and harsh hung in the air. They had been over everything before. Brandon knew that right now they were in the 'fragile truce' stage of the argument, in which everyone pretended everything was fine and no one said anything too controversial.

They had been understanding. Hell, they had been in agreement for the first year—everyone had been looking, everyone had been helping. Everyone had been ignoring the way that this was splintering them apart. And after they had finally realized the awful truth—that she was dead, and that she was not coming back, not going to be found—they had still been understanding. But as the years dragged on they had found themselves in a long and miserable cycle: where they'd argue with Timmy, beg him to stop this and listen to reason, everyone would get mad at each other, everyone would stay like that for a bit, then someone would cave, they'd have a short, sad discussion, a fragile truce would be called, and then the dam would break and the cycle would start again.

"I don't know what you want me to say," Timmy said flatly. "And I don't even know what to say about the news. They can't destroy Omega. They..." he trailed off blankly, dropping the nonchalant front. Brandon forgot his frustration.

It drove him crazy to see his friend so obviously still hurting and 'coping' in a way that didn't help him or anyone else. He knew Helia and Riven felt the same way, not to mention how much Musa and the other girls had been destroyed by the whole thing. Everything had been destroyed by this.

Of course they got angry sometimes. They were all just powerless to do anything about anything.

He couldn't even find anything helpful to say right now. Thankfully Riven stepped in. "We came to say we were sorry about the news. It really sucks, man."

"Yeah," Brandon added lamely, but then had nothing else.

Timmy shook his head, taking on a more determined look. "I'm still working on it. I know I'm right—I'm not stopping because of this."

That wasn't at all a surprise, but still he saw Riven scowl. But instead of saying anything and moving into the argument phase of the cycle, he just closed his eyes for a second. "Fine. Whatever. We figured. We just..." he didn't finish the sentence. Brandon felt like they never finished their sentences around each other anymore.

Brandon and Riven hung out for a few more terse minutes before they left and stood for a moment on the pavement outside the apartment.

"I hate being the jerk who keeps saying it," Brandon said.

"We're his friends. It's our job to try to get him to move on." Riven replied, but he didn't look any happier than Brandon felt.

"That's true. Hey, we Specialists have to stick together," he said, and smiled a little as he said the world 'Specialists', but it felt hollow.

"Only two of us here today," Riven said.

"Yeah. So you never heard back from Helia?"

"No. I figure he's still busy. He'll probably come down later. And Sky's Sky. You know. He called."

Brandon nodded, not really feeling like spending too much time on the topic. At least Sky was accounted for, which was more than Helia. "Uh, how's Musa?"

Riven grimaced but then adopted a neutral expression. "She's...okay. She's fine. You'll see her at Aisha's party, right?"

"No, actually. Turns out Codatorta isn't giving me the days."

Riven nodded. "That sucks. Right, I'll see you Monday, then."

"See you."

Riven walked to his levebike and Brandon walked to his craft.

alfea

magix

"Come in, Roxy," Faragonda called from her desk.

Hesitantly the animal fairy entered the room and sat down in front of her Headmistress. She didn't say anything, waiting for an explanation.

"I'm sorry if I seemed cryptic, calling you here. I wanted to ask how you were doing."

Roxy nodded, trying not to look relieved. There was always a faint fear of expulsion in the back of her mind. "I'm good. I'm fine."

Faragonda cast her eyes to the bag at her side. "Are you leaving for the weekend?"

She nodded. "I'm going to Andros for Aisha's party. Brandon's picking me up after this."

"How fun," she said, smiling brightly. "Please, sit down, Roxy. I was hoping we could talk about how your classes are going." Oh. So this was what it was about. "I see you're doing well in Organic Magic, Animation and Glamour, and Environmental Science," she continued, staring down at what appeared to be her transcript. "But it looks like you're having some trouble with your Cursebreaking and Defense classes." She looked back up at Roxy, waiting for her to speak.

She blinked. "Yeah. I'm trying really hard. I'm seeing if I can get some extra credit for Cursebreaking—"

"I'm not asking you to defend yourself, dear. No one is accusing you of not working hard. But when I look at this, I notice that all the classes you're doing well in have a major written component, and both of the other classes focus heavily on practical exams."

Roxy actually knew why that was, although she wasn't sure how to put it delicately. But she felt like she should be honest. "You know, Headmistress, I don't think I'm very good at actually doing magic." Even as she was saying the words she thought it was a bad idea. Adults, especially teachers, could never accept when you just weren't good at something.

"I wish you wouldn't say that," Faragonda said with a concerned frown. True to form. "You're doing very well in the majority of your classes. I only wonder if we could identify what you need help with to help you succeed. And I wanted to make sure everything else was alright." She reached across the desk and took Roxy's hand, which was surprisingly comforting. "You made the right choice by coming here, Roxy, and by deciding to give magic another chance after everything that happened."

Her sympathetic eyes and cold hands suddenly made Roxy feel like the room was falling down on her. "I'm not failing because I'm, like, traumatized for anything," she blurted out, immediately wishing she could take it back. "I mean..." there was nothing she could do at this point. "I'm okay. I'm just not that good at doing magic. I want to be a fairy. But...I don't know. I want to be a fairy."

"No one thinks you're traumatized, Roxy, we just want what's best for you. Have you given any more thought to what Professor DuFour said?"

"I haven't really come up with any ideas," she admitted. She was ridiculous. Not only was she literally failing out of remedial fairy school, but she didn't even know what she wanted to do afterwards.

"Didn't you have any dreams when you lived on Earth?"

It seemed silly to admit now, but she forced herself, because at least this time she had an answer. "I wanted to run an animal sanctuary. Or at least work on one. Being a vet had, uh, too much math."

"There are animal sanctuaries in the Magical Dimension," Faragonda said.

"I don't want to do that anymore," Roxy said.

"Why not?" Faragonda asked, which was the same question Roxy had been asking herself ever since she had gotten here.

"I don't really know." Because I'm paralyzed. Because I'm tired. Because I'm not good at anything. Because I want to go home. Because I can't go home and have anything be the same ever again. Because I gave up my whole life on Earth for this and I still don't fit in and I don't know what I want and I don't have anything and I haven't seen my dog in months.

Faragonda looked almost sad to hear that, which mirrored how Roxy felt inside. "There are options to continue school," she said. "For higher education, for animal professions."

"Yeah," she said, and her voice caught and came out like a whisper.

Faragonda looked at her for a long moment as though she was trying to read a sign that was just a touch too far away. Then she said, "I want you to think about talking to someone. Maybe Nurse Ofelia could have a suggestion."

"Okay," she said, nodding, aware she was probably not going to ask. "I'll think about it."

"Really do. Thank you for coming to see me, Roxy. Feel free to come by any time."

"I will," Roxy said, standing up, knowing she would probably not do that. "Have a good day."

She felt so brittle and blank as she walked out of the room and into the courtyard. Everything felt wrong, as usual, and she couldn't figure out why. Everything is fine. Everything is absolutely fine. Do not feel like this. There is no reason for you to feel like this.

She knew the Headmistress meant well. She felt like everyone was simultaneously surprised at how normal she was, considering the circumstances, and disappointed by how much of a failure she was, considering her pedigree. Everyone on Magix, anyway. Her dad didn't even know who she was anymore. And it was her fault! It was all her fault!

Guilt twisted sharply in her stomach. Now she was thinking about things she didn't want to think about at all. Luckily she didn't have to be alone with her thoughts for too long. Brandon was just coming up to the gate now and she walked to meet him.

"Hey," He greeted as she sat down in the craft.

"Hi," she said, focusing on smiling and not on the things she didn't want to think about. "How's Timmy?"

"He's good."

She waited for him to elaborate, but he didn't, so she continued. "I would've gone with you if you'd done it later."

"Yeah, I know." Brandon smiled but he also seemed uncomfortable.

"Who else came? Did Musa? I thought I saw her today."

"No. She was busy." He was focused straight ahead and on his driving, but his eyes flicked to her for a moment as though to underline his point. "She doesn't really like talking about the whole Omega Dimension thing."

"Yeah." Roxy hesitated before she asked her next question. "Uh, did they used to date?"

"Timmy and Musa? No way. Why?"

"You said they both had the whole bad history with the Omega Dimension and she doesn't really hang out with him. I just wondered. I mean, I know Flora and Helia used to date and it's super weird now."

"No, they didn't. There was just some stuff a long time ago. It's not important." She thought about being more curious but she didn't feel like it. She always felt like she kind of hit a wall when she asked about Brandon and their friends' own school days. They were great. But they all had a lot of history and sometimes she felt like they kept running into it.

She also knew they were all friends with Brandon's ex, Stella, who she knew but didn't really see much of. Stella hadn't been one of the fairies fighting against the Wizards of the Black Circle. She had met her much later.

"So how was class?" Brandon asked, changing the subject. She didn't mind too much.

"Not great. Fine. I'm looking forward to going to Aisha's tonight."

"Yeah, I was gonna tell you. I can't go to that anymore."

"You can't?" Roxy frowned.

"Yeah. Codatorta's making me cover his third years for midterm prep. I blame Riven for taking off before me. They don't want to lose both of us for the weekend."

"Are you sure it's not cause Sky's gonna be there?" She asked cautiously, not wanting to start an argument.

He frowned sharply. "I don't have a problem with Sky."

"Yeah." She agreed because she knew he wouldn't admit it.

"Tell Aisha happy birthday for me. And say hi to Nabu. And Flora. And Helia."

"Helia's not coming. He's busy."

"That's not a surprise. He couldn't even come today." He sounded kind of mad.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said, and he didn't sound completely convincing, but she didn't challenge it. The rest of the ride was quiet.