A/N: Hope you're still reading. Fitz's turn to put his fears behind. They are slowly moving forward to the love that ionce held them back. Happy reading, thank you for staying with the story, and I look forward to your reviews.

Chapter 45

The fresh smell of grass hit his senses first. He was 12 years old, but he was clutching his father's hand because of nerves. Big Gerry didn't seem to mind at all, and that made Fitz feel a bit better about what was about to happen.

"Son, you'll be fine. I have all the confidence that you'll enjoy this, ok."

Gerry's young son nodded his head and saw a figure walking towards them in the sunlight. Fitz let go of Gerry's hand and used his hand to shade his eyes and look up at the tall figure. "Senator Grant, it's so good to see you again, I take it this is Fitzgerald." The figure looked down at Fitz.

"You can call me Fitz, Sir." Fitz took a hard swallow. "Pleased to meet you." Fitz put his hand out, much like his father did to shake the man's hand.

"I am Colonel Andy Martino. Your dad and I go way back. I am a pilot in the United States Air Force. I understand you like planes."

"Oh yes Sir, I love planes. Dad gets me all the magazines about planes. He gave me pictures of the inside of fighter jets. I can't wait to fly on my own one day for the Navy."

Fitz felt Gerry's hand go around his shoulders. He gave a small laugh. "May be just a phase, Colonel, but I appreciate you taking the time to show Fitz how it's done."

"Sure thing Senator." He looked back at Fitz. "The Navy, huh? Ok, I guess I can live with that." He ruffled Fitz's hair. "Come on, let's take you to the plane."

"I am going to wait in that building over there, son, ok." Fitz saw where Gerry was pointing. "You listen carefully to the Colonel and ask questions if you need to." Gerry walked away hoping this would be difficult for Fitz. The last thing he wanted for his son was to join the military. He had bigger dreams for Fitz.

Fitz blinked, rubbing his hand over the pictures he had found in the basement of his Santa Barbara home. He had no idea Gerry had even taken any pictures that day. Clear as day, though, there was the plane, just as Fitz remembered it.

In front of the plane, just before boarding, Fitz was walking behind Colonel Martino, up the stairs, wearing headphones. The only reason you could tell the headphones were on was because they were about the size of Fitz's head.

Smiling now, looking on to the next picture, the plane was at a distance from the camera snapping the photos. The nose of the craft in a turn, and Fitz remembered it like yesterday. He was the one at the controls and the Colonel was confident enough to give the reigns to Fitz. Fitz looked out, back into his daydream about that day.

As soon as he entered the small cockpit with the Colonel, Fitz began naming all the controls. Colonel Martino crossed his arms, very impressed at the knowledge the young boy was showing. "Fitz, you think you know how to start it up and get it in the air?"

Crossing his eyebrows, then lifting them in excitement Fitz smiled. "Oh, yes sir." He gave step by step instructions to the Colonel as if he was the one getting the lesson.

Fitz saw the proud look on the Colonel's face, and it gave him such a feeling of confidence. "Why don't you go ahead and guide us down the runway?"

The young boy couldn't believe those words he heard. "Seriously, Sir?"

Colonel Martino smiled, a bit of a laugh. "I trust you, go on, get us moving."

Taking a deep breath, he felt Daisy's hand nudge his wrist. "Hey girl." Fitz gave her a pat on the head. "I'm ok, just having some flashbacks." Fitz ran his hand down the picture. He could almost feel the movement of that moment when the plane began to move.

He turned and looked behind him on the bed. The blanket was up to Liv's shoulders. She was facing the other way. Glancing at the clock, it was 6 am. Maybe he should try to get back to sleep. He was about to put the album down, but he turned one more page.

He held his breath. Fitz had no idea his father had these reminders, these snapshots in time from that day. Big Gerry must have been proud of him, why else would he have this album, this keepsake of one of the best days in Fitz's life?

The picture he was looking down at now was the small plane in the sky. To a normal person, it looked like a speck of white in the sky. To the person flying that speck, every detail could be explained. He was flying north, about 2,500 AGL.

N122UC, Fitz could still remember the lettering and numbers on that plane. He looked up from the picture. AGL, he thought, Above Ground Level. Colonel Martino was impressed Fitz knew what that and all the other acronyms meant.

It's what kept Fitz calm as he was flying for the first time. The Colonel was having Fitz repeat all the acronym meanings, and it put Fitz' concentration at ease. "I guess I let you down, huh Colonel Martino?". His thoughts went from pure happiness to disgrace.

"Getting shot down in the middle of the desert. You taught me better than that, I knew better than that." He felt Liv's hand come around his waist, and her soft lips kissed his bare back, and up to his shoulder.

"What are you doing, Fitz?" She peered over his shoulder. "What are those?" She asked looking at the pictures in the album.

Fitz turned, gave her a small soft kiss on her cheek. "My father." He paused. He closed the album. He rubbed his hand over the cover, a picture of a plane in the clouds. "He took pictures of my first time ever flying. I never knew he kept this, in fact, I never even knew he took the pictures at all."

Liv wrapped the blanket around her bare chest. She sat now, next to him, looking down at the album. "Can I see some of them?"

"You know." His hands didn't move from gripping the album. "My dad was good friends with an Air Force Colonel. Besides this day, he taught me how to fly for two more years, until I was 14 and went off to private high school. It's like riding a bike, though, you never forget."

"I bet you were one hell of a student, probably his best." She kissed his shoulder.

"That's what he said. When we landed that day, he went up to my father. I think my father thought I was going to be scared, that it would be something I never wanted to do again. The Colonel surprised my dad by telling him I knew more things than he did. Taught me a thing or two up there. Those were his words."

Liv smiled into his shoulder. "That doesn't surprise me."

"I let him down, the Colonel, I am sure I let him down. If he was alive today, he'd be disappointed in me. I should've never got…" Fitz drifted off. He stood up, blinking back tears. "I'm going to take a shower, Liv, ok." He kissed the top of her head and put the album in the drawer next to the bed.

Daisy gave a small whimper as Fitz walked by heading to the bathroom. Liv called her up on the bed and began to pet her. "How about we give a surprise to Fitz, Daisy? He got me on that beach with a bikini on, didn't he? Maybe we can get him to fly again. He knows he's not a failure, I know he's not a failure."

Daisy was bored with Liv's idea, as she rested her head and closed her eyes. She just needed a few minor details to pull this off. Sliding open the drawer, she opened to the first page of the album. "Oh my." She covered her mouth; Fitz was freaking adorable. Look at that hair blowing in the breeze, he was looking up at the Colonel. "Aww, my Fitz."

The picture was labeled "Archer field and private airport, Santa Barbara, 1999."

Putting the album back and picking up Fitz's t shirt to put on, Liv walked towards the back room with her cell phone. She was walking around waiting for the call to go through when she stumbled into a room that had her drop her cell.

Not only did Big Gerry keep the memory of Fitz's first flying day in his possession, this room was a shrine to Fitz and all of his Naval awards. Did Fitz know about this? In delicate cases there were medals, insignias, model airplanes, pictures of Fitz graduating, pictures of him in article clippings, and one of him standing next to his fighter jet, smiling with his thumbs up.

Liv picked up that picture in the frame from the shelf in front of her. She smiled looking at it. She rubbed her stomach softly. "Look at your daddy, little one. Tom Cruise has nothing on him, he was one fine looking pilot." Liv couldn't take her eyes off him, he was gorgeous.

She put the picture down just in time. "Liv." She jumped when she heard his voice.

"In here." She quickly picked up her phone and hung up. "Did you know about this room Fitz?"

Judging by the way he froze; he had no idea. He stood in the doorway, not entering. His eyes went from wall to ceiling, and back around again. Liv saw him take a huge swallow. After a long deep breath, he looked at her. "I'm going to make breakfast." He was gone.

She made her call, 2:00 this afternoon, Fitz would be able to take a plane up. When Liv mentioned his name, the gentleman on the other end knew him. "Holy shit, Fitz Grant, The Fitzgerald Grant. Hell yeah he can fly. Tell him Pete says he expects him here promptly at two."

"Thank you, Pete, see you then." Now she had to convince Fitz. She was taking a huge chance. "Here goes, Little one, help me out with daddy, ok." She quickly threw on some jeans and joined Fitz for breakfast.

Liv sat at the table, taking a sip of the orange juice Fitz had poured for her. "You ok?"

"Fine." He continued cooking the eggs on the stove, not even looking at her.

"Fitz, you're not fine, you had no idea that room existed, you saw pictures of your first flying day, talk to me, ok."

His shoulders slumped a bit. "You're right, I didn't know that room existed. I always thought my father looked at me as a failure, but here he is keeping a shrine to me. I wanted nothing to do with all those awards, I let my country down, Liv." He shut off the flame under the pan. "I'm no hero." He turned facing the window.

Liv walked over to him. "Look at me." He didn't budge. "Fitz, look at me."

He looked at her and she saw the tears he was trying so desperately to hold back. "You're my hero, and." She grabbed his hand and placed it on her stomach. "You're this little one's hero. Don't you shortchange yourself, ever." She pulled him down from the back of his neck and placed a soft, lingering kiss on his lips.

He stopped and buried his face in her neck. She rubbed his back. "Go spend a little time in the room upstairs, I'm going to pack a picnic lunch for us and we are going to enjoy some fresh air, ok. Maybe we can take Daisy to the field where you flew your plane. I'm sure she'd love to play catch." Liv rubbed his cheek.

He shook his head. He really did want to go see what his father set up a bit more close up. "Yeah, I guess we can do that. You'll come up in a few minutes, right?"

"I promise, I'll be up in about twenty minutes." She assured him.

Liv called the only other person who would know about her asking him to fly again. The one person in Rutland who knew his whole story before, during, and after captivity. Liv lit up her phone screen and dialed Sophie's number.

"Olivia, it's so good to hear from you. How are you and Fitz doing out there in Santa Barbara? Fitz spoke so highly of his childhood home; it really was a place of serenity for him."

"Sophie, first, let me say we miss you terribly, as nice as it is out here. We're enjoying it. Big Gerry is due back sometime tomorrow. He went off to Punta Cana, getting married to Lucia."

"Wow, I've heard Fitz talk about Lucia, his nanny, right?"

"Cook, second mom, nanny, and now his stepmom. Fitz is very happy with his father's decision. I am sure we'll talk more when they come back. Look I have a question for you, about Fitz's flying days."

"Ok, I'll try my best to answer it. It was tough for him after the capture. I do know he hasn't flown a plane since he'd been shot down. I think it's very traumatic for him."

"Fitz found a photo album his father made of his first time flying. He also found a room here that Big Gerry kept. I am thinking Gerry thought Fitz would never return from captivity and put that room up. I am sensing Fitz feels the same."

Sophie took a deep breath. Fitz told her once he thought his father figured he was dead or would die in captivity. He thought that was the reason he was so bitter to Fitz. Big Gerry was angry with himself for not believing in his son, therefore, taking it out on Fitz. This room could explain a lot.

"Ok, so what's the question?" Sophie was curious.

"You think Fitz will fly again? I scheduled a time for him to go up today. The person at the field knows who he is and is very excited to be seeing him and to be giving him the opportunity to do this."

"Wow." Sophie sighed. "That's tough. There were nights we spent hours talking, well, Fitz talked, I listened. His love for planes and his love for flying was clear, but something broke him that day Liv. What are your thoughts?"

Liv told Sophie about the beach. Liv never wanted to be in a bikini again. She didn't care that no one else was around, the scars brought her back to that dreadful day on the road with her father. Having her scars out in the open was like seeing all that blood again. It just crushed her heart. "But, Sophie, he did it, he had me put those scars into the open, into the daylight and he loved every part of me." Liv bowed her head.

"So, he took your fear and made you face it head on. He didn't ask, he just did it."

"Exactly, and I want that for him. Sophie, I know what a decorated pilot he was. Huck told me stories about him in the Navy, when he did research on him, he probably still is, one of the best the Navy ever had. His being captured shouldn't be his legacy."

"I agree with you Olivia. You called for my opinion; you'll get it. Do it, bring him there, force him into the cockpit. I think if he sees you believe in him, he'll find the courage, the strength, just like you did on that beach."

Liv smiled. She put her hand on her stomach again. "I want his child knowing daddy is a pilot, a damn good one."

"Call me or text me later, let me know how it went. I know you have another ten days or so there, but your little friend is missing her Wivvie."

"Chloe, I'm going to facetime her later. We miss them all, but yeah, Chloe the most. Is she driving you crazy with her talking?"

"Her talking, her boxing, her boss lady attitude. She's taking over the kitchen here, poor chefs are going to walk out on strike soon." Sophie laughed.

"Thank you, Sophie, talk later."

Liv closed the picnic basket she was packing while she was talking to Sophie. Cheese, crackers, grape juice,(pregnancy wine), grapes, strawberries, and a big, huge blanket for the grass, all going to be put by the door. Daisy got up from the kitchen floor, following Olivia.

"Whoa, girl, I can't forget these, can I?" Liv picked up, off the shelf a can of tennis balls. Immediately, Daisy's tail began to wag. "Not in the house, ok. We'll have a nice big field to throw this all around." She put it near the door with the blanket and basket and headed up to the room, not really sure what she would find.

Liv's head rested on the door frame, tilted watching Fitz. He hadn't even looked up, and Liv didn't think he would know she was there at all if it wasn't for Daisy walking in and nudging his hand. Fitz looked up. He had a case that was holding a medal in his hand. His lips formed a forced, tight smile when he saw Liv.

"You ok?" She nodded towards the medal. "Which one is that?"

Fitz put it back on the desk that was next to the chair. "Livvie, do you think he thought I was going to die there?" He looked around the room again. "This room has to be what he was thinking, right, that he would never see me again."

Liv walked in. She stood in front of him while he sat in the chair. She pulled his head to her stomach, rubbing his curls. "I don't know the answer to that, Fitz", she kissed his head, "but this room shows one proud father."

He pulled back and looked up at her. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he nodded towards the medal. "That is the Distinguished Flying Cross. It's given to recognize heroism and achievement for pilots. I was given the medal after my second tour." He buried his head back into Liv's stomach.

"Your daddy loved flying." He whispered into Liv's stomach. He kissed her stomach and stood up. He took a deep breath. "You ready with that picnic?"

"Yes I am daddy. I have the food, the blanket, and the tennis balls, right Daisy, you ready girl?"

Daisy jumped up. She was finally happy they were including her in their adventures. She jumped a bit on to her hind legs, leading the way down to the door, before these silly humans changed their mind.

"There it is Livvie." Fitz was controlling the steering wheel and peering out the windshield at the same time. "Hasn't changed a bit. I think Pete took over for his father, and runs the place now."

Liv nodded. "So this is an airport and a field?" Liv was a bit confused.

"Over here, it's a private airport. Small planes, training planes, things like that fly out of here, solely for practice purposes."

Liv looked out, honestly the place looked deserted. "Doesn't look very much used."

"Oh it is, Pete is probably having a slow day today. About a mile up," Fitz nodded past the airport "is a field filled with grass. People watch the planes go up and land from there. If the airport is this deserted, the field is too." He rubbed Liv's hand. "We'll have the field to ourselves."

"Look." Liv pointed out. "Is that Pete?"

"Son of a bitch, look at that. That twerp hasn't changed in years. Mind if we stop Liv?"

"Not at all."

Pete watched the car pull in. He walked up to it, opening the driver's side door and pulling Fitz out by the hand he put out to shake. He pulled Fitz into a big bear hug. "Fitzy Fitzgerald, how the hell are you?"

"Pint sized Pete, you haven't changed a damn bit, how's the old man?"

"He's good. He's loving retirement. Just sits at home all day telling me what I'm doing wrong." Pete nodded towards Liv. "Going to introduce me, or just pretend I'm not here."

Fitz went to open the door for Liv. He took her hand and walked her around. "This is my fiancé, Olivia Pope, Olivia, this is Peter Connerly. Don't believe a thing he tells you about me." Fitz opened the back door. Daisy jumped out.

"This is Daisy."

Daisy jumped to greet Pete. "Hey girl." Pete pet her. "Aren't you beautiful?"

"Liv and I are going to head over to the field for a picnic and play some fetch with Daisy, do you mind?"

Pete looked confusingly at Liv, and realized Fitz didn't know about the scheduled flight. Fitz saw the look he gave to Liv.

"What?" Fitz looked at Liv. "Livvie, what's going on?"

"After what went on this morning, I thought you may like to show off your flying skills for me. Pete arranged an airtime for us, that's why it's deserted here. I kind of rented out the whole place." Liv's head bowed a bit and her eyes looked up at him.

"I'll just go in by the plane." Pete figured they could use the time to talk. "Want to go see the plane girl, huh?" Daisy followed Pete towards aircraft.

Fitz turned away from Liv. He looked up at the sky, then he looked down, kicking some rocks that were by his feet. "Why would you do this Livvie?"

"Because you're not a failure Fitz. You have the scars to live with what happened to you over there. Everyday you are reminded of the pain you endured for two years. They took so much from you, don't let them take your love of flying, your passion of being in control in the air."

Fitz looked at her now, and Liv stared back at him, waiting for an argument. He wrapped her in his arms, kissing her forehead. "What if I can't do it Liv?"

"I thought I couldn't pull off my shirt on the beach Fitz, but I did, you did. I can't let the accident define me anymore."

Fitz closed his eyes against her head. She was right, he had to at least give it a try. "Ok. You're ok with coming up in the plane with me?"

"One hundred percent. I am looking forward to it." She rubbed his back as she wrapped her arm around his waist and his around her shoulders walking in the same direction as Pete did a few minutes ago.

Liv sat next to him now with headphones on, she had no idea how to work. She just heard Pete's voice say "Let me know when you're ready Fitz, ok. You got this buddy, I know you do."

"Copy that Pete, give me a few minutes, it's been a long time."

"It's like riding a bike Fitz, you don't forget."

Liv rubbed the top of his hand. She looked at the panel in front of her. So many circles with numbers, gadgets to pull and twist, and buttons to push. Liv had no idea what she was looking at.

Fitz pointed "Airspeed indicator, direction, rate of turn indicator, radio navigation, altimeter, there's the compass." Fitz took a deep breath. He rubbed Liv's hand back. "You sure you're up to this."

"I heard compass, so I'm sure you won't get lost, so yeah, get this thing up in the air, ok."

"Ok." He closed his eyes for a moment. "Pete, starting takeoff."

"Copy, it's all yours Fitz."

After the takeoff, Fitz was so focused on in front of him, Liv looked out her window. She was amongst the clouds, gently gliding in the sky. This was so beautiful, and it was the picture perfect day. She looked over at Fitz. "How are you feeling?"

"Feels good, real good. Ready for a turn? Hold on." He joked.

Liv felt the plane turn, and it was smooth. She smiled, and tears filled her eyes. She quickly wiped one away before it fell. She didn't want him to see her crying.

"Ok Pete, heading back for the landing."

"Looking good up there Fitz, great altitude, awesome cruising speed, even Daisy thinks you did great, right girl. Runway one is all yours."

For a moment Fitz froze. Liv looked over at him. "Fitz?"

"You know I didn't land the plane that day, obviously. That day…." His words stopped. "They took my landing away from me. I had to eject…"

"Well, I really don't want to eject Fitz, so if you can maybe bring your focus back to now." Liv swallowed.

He smirked at her. "I got this Livvie. With you, I can do anything."

The plane rolled onto the runway and in a hot minute, came to a complete stop. Liv couldn't hold it back now, as she cried so many happy tears. Fitz rubbed her cheek using his thumb to rub away one of her tears. "I did it Livvie, because of you, I did it."

He hopped down from the plane and walked over to her. He reached his arms up and she fell into them, wrapping her legs around his waist as their lips connected, and they deeply kissed in front of the plane on that runway. Liv was rubbing through his hair, as his hands ran down her back. "I love you so much Mister. You will always be my hero."

He buried his head into her chest and gave a few kisses on to her stomach. "You have no idea the amount of love I have for you, Olivia Pope. I cannot wait for you to be my wife and the mother to our children."

Their lips connected again, and Liv melted in his arms. She paused the kiss to just bury her head into his shoulder and feel this moment.

Pete and Daisy were watching from above in the tower. "Look at that, girl, just like the ending of a love movie. Let's go get them."

Pete and Daisy walked up to them. Liv had taken out her cell phone and took pictures outside the plane. Pete took the phone and Fitz stood with Liv at the nose of the plane, with his arm around her. Daisy joined for the next picture and sat in front of them, posing as she should.

"Pictures of my first day back to flying and having the love of my life with me." He kissed her again.

"Ok, ok. Geez, you two, go get a field or something to do that in." Pete laughed. He shook Fitz's hand, and pat him on the shoulder. "Don't be a stranger, man, you hear."

'Yeah, why don't you join us next week for the Lake Monsters/Giants game.? You can watch in style from the owner's box."

"Really, hell yeah. How about the old man?"

"Definitely. Listen, Pete, thanks for this. You have no idea what this meant to me."

"Don't thank me, thank this beautiful gal of yours, she set it all up. She truly loves you my friend."

It was just them now. Liv was lying on the blanket in the field, looking up at the dimming sunlight in the sky. Fitz's hand held up his head, and he on his elbow lying on his side looking down at Liv.

He had a few grapes in his hand, and he was feeding her, as her hands were placed on her stomach. He put the grape into her mouth, and then buried his lips on to hers, and resting in the crook of her neck.

The back of his finger rubbed her nose. "Thank you, my Livvie." He looked up at the sky, hearing a commercial aircraft high above. "You believed in me."

Daisy came over with a ball. Fitz took it and threw it a short distance as Daisy ran to get it, Liv sat up. "You had it in you all along, Fitz. Just like you had me believe in myself that my scars do not define me, I wanted you to know that." She rubbed her hand down his back.

"This." She said. "Is not your legacy." She put his hand on her stomach as she lay back down. "This is your legacy."

Daisy returned with the ball. Fitz wrapped it tight into the blanket, and Daisy was determined to get it. Knowing his dog, when she found it impossible she would bring the ball and blanket with her. This gave Fitz the opportunity to scoop Liv up cradle style and walk her to the car, as she held the picnic the basket.

Daisy followed behind, with the ball, still in the blanket and gave it to Fitz. Fitz tossed the ball into the back seat, where Daisy happily retrieved it and took her position across the back. He folded the blanket and placed it in the trunk with the basket.

He looked at Liv after she put her seat belt on. He took her hand. "How about a nice, candle light dinner, some dessert to eat, and some dessert in bed?"

Liv side eyed him. "Mister, I would love it, I believe you still have three more rooms to "take me" in." Her fingers quoting the take me. "First, though some face time with the ABC girls."

"Well, my father and Lucia won't be back until 7 in the evening tomorrow, that gives us..."

Liv covered his lips with his hands. She shook her head from side to side. "Don't tire me out before we begin anything." She smiled and put her hand back into his. She used her other hand to send Sophie a text. "HE DID IT!" with a huge heart eye emoji and airplane emoji.

Daisy slept peacefully on the back seat for the ride. She was finally feeling accomplished. Both her humans were happy within their inner souls. Daisy could feel the calmness aura from them, and she slept dreaming of her game of fetch.

Fitz never did let go of Liv's hands, driving with one hand, the other interlocked with hers. He knew the car was moving, but in his thoughts, he was gliding in the sky, controlling the plane. It was a feeling he refused to let himself think of for years. Now, after finally having it again, it calmed his soul. He was ready, ready to move forward to be a husband and a father.

Liv watched as they passed houses, the sun almost gone into the ocean now. She saw her father's face, smiling at her. Liv smiled back, feeling the car cruise at a level speed. She took a deep breath. For the first time since the accident, she was able to see her father's face with no blood.

She wanted to reach out to touch his face, but she knew it was just an illusion. It was the calming of her soul pushing her to focus on her pregnancy, on becoming a wife to the man she loves, and on being the best mother she could be.

The car drove away, leaving the small airport in the rearview mirror. Logan gone, Natalie just a fickle memory, Edison dead, there was nothing anymore holding them back from the love meant to be.