Chapter 13
Elizabeth had no such problems. Her sleep was uninterrupted. Well, as uninterrupted as a woman can get with all four of her sisters insisting they had to spend the night in her room with her. Thankfully, they had all brought their own pillows and blankets. They figured out that if they slept widthwise instead of lengthwise on the bed they could fit, and so they did.
Then they decided they had to spend a little bit of time reminiscing. Reminiscing is a kind word for roasting. All five women were still at it remembering and rehashing every stupid thing the five of them had managed to get up to in the last eighteen years or so when the maid entered the room to clean the hearth and light the morning fire. Turns out that Jane has the memory of an elephant and the vindictive streak of a crow. Good thing she likes to see the best in folks. She was the one who kept them up most of the night with 'oh does anyone remember when'.
Darcy's wedding day dawned bright and sparkling. Dew dripped from the bushes and soaked into the ground just like it does any morning the sun rises and there is no rain. Of course there was no rain- I already told you it decided to go to Cornwall for a few days. But do not worry. All will be okay. Maybe a Scottish rain cloud will float south to dump cold water on some poor unsuspecting Sassenach's wedding day.
The girls looked out the window and noticed the sun coming up. "Oops!" was echoed by all five.
The maid shook her head in disbelief. "I will just nip down to the kitchens and tell Cook you will be needing an extra strong pot of tea this morning, yes?" The chorus of all five ladies thanking her profusely followed her out the door and halfway down the hall. She found them all sound asleep twenty minutes later when she brought the tea tray upstairs. Since this was not a unique occurrence, she set the tray down on the dresser and proceeded on down the hall to Mrs. Bennet's room where she cheerfully ratted them out to their mother.
Mrs. Bennet took her time getting dressed, went downstairs and had a leisurely breakfast with Mr. Bennet and the rest of houseguests then went upstairs and knocked on Elizabeth's door. When she got no answer she opened it up and looked in on her little darlings. She had to laugh because somehow Victoria had managed to climb onto the bed and was snuggled down between Mary and Katherine. They were packed on the bed like sardines in a can.
A can that was about to be opened. Only it was not sardines. Yes, folks, Mrs. Bennet just opened a fresh can of whoop ass. All she had to do was gently shake Elizabeth's shoulder and when sleepy green eyes peered up at her she calmly said, "You are supposed to be at the church in forty-five minutes. You might want to get ready."
Elizabeth's scream echoed out the open door, down the hall, and echoed back from Mount Oaken a minute or so later. Six sisters jumped up and quickly dispersed to their rooms. Mrs. Bennet's evil laughter echoed down the hall and all the men still sitting around the table drinking coffee and reading the paper shivered. Mr. Bennet sat back and observed the reactions before smirking. "Just think, Mr. Darcy, Lizzy has spent twenty years at that woman's knees. She has learned everything her mama was willing to teach her. I can tell you straight that she has always been an avid learner."
Darcy blinked. He cocked his head as if listening to something only he could hear, then nodded an affirmative understanding. "Good! I need a woman who is not afraid to do whatever needs done to get the job finished."
Then since the men were all ready to go to the church, they all stood and made their way to the front hall where Hill helped them with their greatcoats, scarves, and hats. He reminded them that they needed to send the carriage back for the ladies. He and the rest of the staff would be at the church on time to see Miss Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy wed.
The ladies made it to the church exactly on time. Lizzy's hair was not done in an elaborate style, but she made a beautiful bride in her wedding finery. Her wedding finery was truly gorgeous despite its simplicity. However, the whole effect was spoiled because she could have appeared in sackcloth and ashes and Darcy would still believe she was the most ravishing creature to creep out of the primordial soup and walk upon the earth.
Elizabeth admired Darcy standing there in his forest superfine coat, starched white cravat, and tan breeches. He was the most handsome man in her life. He was pleased that she thought so. He also planned to reward her handsomely for making him the happiest man on the planet.
The ceremony was conducted by Bishop Darcy. Just to vex everyone he did the long version of the Anglican Wedding Service. It is rather like the Catholic version of married in the church. The whole ceremony takes about an hour and fifteen minutes if all the kneeling, standing, and repeat after me parts are adhered to rigidly enough. He figured that being a Darcy the young man in front of him was only going to marry once so why not go all out.
As Darcy walked his bride back down the aisle they stopped several times to greet people. Darcy was quite pleased with himself to introduce his bride to his uncle, the Earl of Matlock, his cousin Viscount Hindley, and his favorite aunt the Countess of Matlock. Strangely enough, once they got to the last pew Darcy scooped his bride up and dashed out the door which had been opened dramatically by an older woman who was attempting to regally stomp her way down the aisle.
One should never discount the abilities of a man attempting to escape an old harridan. He ducked right past the hag while kicking her cane across the floor, jumped down the steps, and ran for his carriage calling to his coachman to get them away before the witch found her broom and came flying back out the door. The footman expertly opened the carriage door, lowered the step and moved out of the way in what appeared to be a smooth dance move. Darcy tossed his new wife unto the front facing carriage seat and dived in beside her. Footman did the reverse dance and jumped on the side rail as the coach pulled out. He thought it great fun to climb the ladder to the driver's seat while the coach was gaining speed.
None too soon as it turned out. The tail end of the coach cleared the church yard as the plague of evil known as Lady Catherine De Bourgh manifested herself back out the door glaring malevolently at it. Lady Catherine stomped back out the door as she slammed her cane down on the ground with every stride. She was so determinedly focused on Fitzwilliam Darcy she missed the obvious.
Her daughter, Anne De Bourgh, also exited the coach when the old lady had made her way up the stairs and into the church. She followed her into the vestibule then darted into the ladies retiring room where she hid and waited for her mother to leave. She watched from the small window facing the courtyard until her mother's coach departed before opening the small carpet bag leaning against her leg and began pulling different clothes out.
Anne's maid stuck her head in the door and seeing her, quickly entered and began helping her to change into a different gown. The hairstyle would work for a quick wedding, so the maid left it alone. She giggled as she buttoned Anne's dress up, "Colonel Fitzwilliam is waiting for you. He is ever so pleased that you suggested marrying here with the family in attendance."
Anne flashed one of her rare true smiles. "I have waited a long time to get my hands on that man. He may not be the most handsome creature I have ever seen, but there is something within him that makes me want to rip his clothes off him and have my wicked way with him."
The pastor's wife entered the room and heard Anne's confession. She laughed softly as she reached out and began placing yellow and soft pink rosebuds in her coiffure before settling a crown made from wheat over a translucent veil. "This all bodes well for the marriage, my lady. From personal experience I can speak on the subject. A man likes to know that his woman welcomes his advances." Then as she fluffed out the veil to lie smoothly and added, "You are a beautiful bride, I am pleased that you and your man are joining your lives together in the sight of God for all the right reasons."
Anne smirked. "Yes, indeed. I would have borne him a babe or two before now had we been wed when we first wanted to."
The maid nodded in agreement. "And the Colonel is a fine figure of a man." Then added softly, "Do you think his batman would be interested in me if we are thrown together often? I should like to have a husband. It would be ever so nice to have one who comes with us as you travel between Rosings and wherever else."
Anne took a quick look in the mirror before turning to Sally. "Let's get me married first and then we will work on the men together." She gave Sally a quick hug before adding, "You are the best. I will do all that is in my power for you."
Sally lowered her head and nodded. "Thank you, Miss Anne." Her voice was thick with unshed tears. "Let's go. I am so happy for you."
The parson's wife opened the door and cued the organist to begin playing a bit of music. As Anne stepped out of the room she was met by her uncle, the Earl of Matlock. He escorted her down the aisle where Richard was waiting for her.
The Parson was perfectly happy to have a second wedding in the church. It was already festooned beautifully with greenery, ribbons, and candles that accented Fall. The church was still full of people attending to wish Miss Elizabeth happiness and they were all pleased to stay and wish her new cousin happiness with his marriage also. There was also the fact that the smaller outlying areas rarely had the chance to host a Bishop. A bishop who would be related to the newly minted Mrs. Darcy. Church politics was about to get interesting.
Anne's gown was a beautiful rust color that blended beautifully with everything else. One would almost think the whole thing had been planned out in detail. And they would have been correct. The minute Darcy was told he had a special license to wed his beloved the man who was responsible for retrieving it procured one for himself and his beloved. From there on out it had been a case of meticulous planning to make sure everything went perfectly. Not to brag, but when you have one of England's finest strategists making the plans very little goes wrong. Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam was one of the best; except for his mother, his new wife, and probably most of the other women in the family.
The wedding of Miss Anne De Burgh to the Honorable Richard Alexander Fitzwilliam went off perfectly. When all was done they entered the Matlock coach and headed to Longbourne for their wedding breakfast. With any luck Lady Catherine De Bourgh would think that the Darcy coach was headed to London and would do her utmost to follow him. Since he did have a lead and her horses were already tired it was conceivable he would get away from her if he did not stop until he got to Darcy House.
Only he did not go to Darcy House. His coachman took the shortcut to Longbourne and had the horses uncoupled and put up, the coach in the carriage house hidden under a coach tarp, and the bride and groom were sitting in the kitchen with Mr. and Mrs. Hill chatting about trivialities as they waited on everyone to return from the church.
Lady Catherine De Bourgh discovered the pile of blankets she had originally thought was her sleeping daughter was not her daughter about ten miles from London. According to her there was nothing else to be done except go back to Meryton and find where her only child had hied off to. So, Lady Catherine pulled into the coaching inn at Meryton late just before dark and inquired within regarding the appearance of a sickly, dark haired girl wearing glasses. Had anyone seen said girl. And, if so, could they point her in the chit's direction so she could retrieve said daughter and be on her way.
Funny thing small towns are. The folks at the inn, and for that matter everywhere else, had already learned the story about the sickly girl whom the old woman was after. They refused to tell her anything. Nothing was mentioned about Longbourne or Netherfield Park, the two places most likely to harbor the new bride and her groom.
Lady Catherine was treated to a hot meal while her horses were exchanged for a fresh set and was sent back to London under the pretense that the inn was full. With the two weddings happening near Meryton, it was not a real pretense. The only beds left were a few in the communal room where coachmen, footmen, and messengers slept. Not one of them would vouch for Lady De Bourgh being of good enough character to sleep in the same room as them.
It was full dark by the time Cathy made it back to London. She stopped first at Darcy House and was not admitted into the house. The Darcy House butler answered the door but informed her that the master was not in residence and there were no plans to receive him within the next month. When she did not budge from the doorway he invented a bit of fiction and leaned forward to murmur next to her good ear, "The master and his bride are having their mail delivered to Laughing Water Abbey in Wales which he purchased recently with the new Mrs. Darcy in mind."
Lady Catherine looked askance at him. "Why would he purchase a house in Wales when he has plenty of homes already?" She obviously did not believe him.
"Madame, how many times have you visited here and explained the peculiar arrangement between your daughter and Mr. Darcy?" He drew back and settled on his heels. "I am surprised you have not been notified that he plans to beget an heir and a spare and then leave her there while he comes back to town to be with his family."
Catherine's hand covered her mouth as she gasped. "Oh! Say it is so! He has done this for my darling Anne!" She clapped her hands together and did a happy dance as she processed the butler's words according to her world view.
The butler smiled at her. "I am pleased to let you know that Mr. Darcy is doing everything for his beloved. Please have a blessed day, Madam." Then he stepped back into the house and closed the door.
The lock slamming into place did not unsettle her. Lady Catherine was completely happy as she descended the steps and reentered her coach. She scared all her attendants as she smiled at them and sweetly instructed them to take her to Matlock House so she could rest before returning to Rosings.
She was received at Matlock House and installed in her usual rooms. It was rather vexatious that her brother Reginold, Earl of Matlock was not there, she really wanted someone to talk to, to gloat with, to gossip with… The fact is it is a bit of a bitch when you are such a bitch that you have no friends and even your relatives despise you.
And so, Lady Catherine De Burgh spent the night at Matlock House and began the arduous journey back to Rosings the next morning. Except she did not pay attention to where she was going and wound up in Dover two days later. Since she was already there she decided to check out the White Cliffs and spent several days there sightseeing, meddling, and vexing locals before exhausting everyone around her to the point where the innkeeper packed her trunks, put her in her coach, and instructed the coachman to take her at least twenty miles away before stopping for the day.
What else is there to talk about you ask? We could get back to the regularly scheduled program of discussing Darcy and his wife's love life. We could also discuss Anne and Richard's love life. Or, we could just say that the gentlemen have practiced enough to make their wives very happy women and get on with whatever else is happening.
Fitzwilliam Darcy found the entire process of acclimating himself to owning a wife a fabulous experience. By his calculations she was just about perfect. The only reason he did not consider her perfect was her pianoforte playing. She had a horrible tendency to touch the piano keys delicately with her dainty hands while in the process of creating beautiful music. It was his understanding that she could touch him with those little hands and he would create a soundtrack that was definitely composed of sounds of appreciation.
Elizabeth Darcy took to marriage like a duck to water. She adored her husband. He was a very complex creature; romantic, hedonistic and moralistic. He had definite ideas of right and wrong and a determination to please her so completely that it brought tears to her eyes when she considered the depths of his passion for her.
After spending a month at Pemberly where Elizabeth was oriented in how to be the mistress of a huge estate they decided to go north and see what was in Scotland besides Darcy's 17th Century castle. They enjoyed traveling through Inverness and a few smaller towns before heading into Glasgow. Elizabeth wanted to walk the streets and get a sense of what the city was. So, after they checked into a lovely old hotel at the edge of the town square they began investigating the shops.