8

Little Toy Bikers and a Woman on the Run

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Chapter 400 Am I Bad?

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Scarlett took a sip of her Coke, her lips tipped up in a mischevious smile.

"How did you know?" she asked as she carefully put her glass down

"I didn't. It was a gut feeling."

"I wasn't trying to lie to you," she said giving his beard a playful tug. "I wanted to see how the story was going to play." She pointed at her lips.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know what it means."

"I'm the only one that can do the point and kiss."

"I demand equal rights," Scarlett said still pointing at her lips.

"Because you require the kind of comfort only I can provide, I'm willing to overlook this unacceptable level of bossiness from you."

Scarlett gently touched his cheek as she looked into his eyes.

"Thank you. So kind."

He kissed her slow and soft with great tenderness. He made her feel warm and safe and loved. She really needed to feel that. He finished by kissing her on the cheek.

"Spill."

Scarlett looked down at her gold leggings and her V-neck thigh length turquoise T-shirt and remembered those events so clearly, only then, she'd kept her emotions in check. It was the only way to do it and get through it. If she'd faltered or hesitated, Tara would have fallen apart.

She told him what happened, how she presented Tara's choices to her and how Tara kept insisting she call Jax.

"Why didn't you want to call me?"

"She didn't want your advice. She wanted you to come over and kill Kohn for her. There was no way I was going to call you and have you be her personal assassin."

"You're right. That's exactly what she wanted. And that's one of the many things I love about you—your protective side. I don't want to bash Tara, but everything was all about her. She breaks a window, I take the blame for her. She had a bottle of liquor, I take it from her and get busted. The list is endless. I was a teenager and it made me feel like a man protecting my girlfriend. I was really just doing her dirty work. She used me. It's a lot clearer to me now."

"When it was happening tonight, I just wanted to keep you clear of it. I felt bad for what she was going through. Now that I have some distance and am thinking more clearly, I'm getting angrier and angrier."

"Have I told you how beautiful you look when you're angry?"

Scarlett poked Jax in his rock hard abs with her finger.

"You can save that line for the next time I'm mad at you."

"Your eyes shoot sparks when you're mad."

Scarlett smiled in spite of herself. She remembered when he found her with the acupuncturist and how angry she'd been with him. If her back had been healthy, she would have shoved him out of her motel room.

"I'm just so mad at her. I'm sorry now that I offered to let her stay here."

"What?" Jax asked staring at her.

"I offered to let her stay."

"She's not coming over later is she?"

"No. David said that he preferred we not talk until I do my interview."

"Scarlett, please do not let her stay with you. You are too tender hearted, I don't want her to take advantage of you."

"You know I don't like to be told what to do, but since you said please . . . Seriously, I just felt bad and I wanted to help but again now that I'm not in the heat of the moment, I think you're right. I won't ask her to stay with me."

"I won't ask her to stay with me either," he dead panned.

"Smart ass," she said giving him another poke. "What did Tara expect? You kill Kohn, cover up the crime and get rid of the body?"

"That's exactly what she expected. She has a good case for self-defense but she wouldn't want to have to go through all the unpleasantness of dealing with the police. Much easier if I just handled everything like back in high school."

"But at what cost to you?" she asked, her green eyes dark with concern. "Killing someone in the heat of the moment or self-defense is one thing but a cold blooded execution is completely different. How could she want you to carry that with you for the rest of your life?"

Jax smiled at Scarlett and shook his head.

"Her first and only thought in a tight situation is how to save her ass. She'll do what she needs to do to save herself."

"I don't want to make this any worse for her now, but after it dies down, I'm going to have a talk with her and we may not stay friends."

"Be friends with her because you want to be friends with her. Don't do it for me."

"That's not why we were friends. I liked her and I don't have any girlfriends. It was nice having someone to grab a meal with and do a little shopping. I'll have to see what happens. Anyway I explained the options. Kohn wasn't going to get locked up for trying to rape Tara. She didn't have any marks on her body and he's an ATF agent. Even if there were charges, they would get pled down and he would have walked with probation or the jury wouldn't convict."

"You're right. I don't think anything would have happened to him."

"I told her that either let him live and go through this again when he came after her the next time only she might not be so lucky or kill him. I told her that it was preemptive self-defense if she shot him."

"What is he doing during this discussion?"

"He was saying whatever he thought she wanted to hear so he wouldn't kill him."

"Preemptive self-defense? I like it."

"She asked me what I'd do and I told her that I would shoot him."

"Of course you would. You're a smart girl," Jax said. "I'm just surprised she had the guts. It usually takes her forever to make a decision."

"I didn't give her much time. I told her she had to decide fast. The time between the two shots couldn't be too long. I told her I was going back to the door and counting to thirty. I started counting. She asked me to start over and count to 100."

"That second shot had to happen quick or she'd lose the self-defense claim."

"I also told her to be careful about angles. If she said she shot him from the floor, she needed to shoot him from the floor. I told her to walk through it so she would be remembering an actual memory."

Jax started laughing.

"What?" she demanded. "Do you think that was stupid?"

"No. It's the way your mind works. Damn, Scars, I think you're a better outlaw than me. It's sexy as hell. My old lady is a badass outlaw."

"It's still weird when you call me your old lady," she said giggling. "My dad taught me stuff and I watch a lot of crime shows and forensic stuff on TV."

"Doctor or not, Tara wouldn't have thought of that. You helped her a lot with that tip especially the part about walking through the shooting so she's recalling an actual memory. That's where people always screw up they recall a story and not a memory."

"She told me what happened and I listened for flaws. It sounded good."

"It will work with Hale. He's not going to be looking for a murder charge. Tara's lucky she has or had you for a friend tonight. I don't know what she would have done without you."

"She would have called you."

"OK and you want to know if I'd have gone."

Scarlett nodded.

"Look, it isn't a jealousy thing. If she'd called you had gone to help because you feel obligated to her for saving your life, you would have walked into a mess. It would have been hard for you to turn your back."

Jax gently brushed a lock of blonde hair back from her face.

"I know you aren't jealous. If she had called I would probably have gone to her house because she wouldn't have told me that she shot Kohn. It would have been a mess—just like you said. When this calms down, let's sit down with her together and I'll tell her she can't call me and expect me to rescue her like high school. I didn't mind protecting her from Kohn, but I'll make it clear that if she wants someone to commit capital murder for her, she needs to find someone else."

Scarlett let out her breath. She hadn't realized she'd been holding it.

"You got her protection from Kohn. I helped her tonight. She saved your life. We are now even. No more debt."

"We, huh?"

"We're together."

"Yeah, we are," he said as he circled her wrist with the fingers of his left hand. "I don't expect you to pay my debts for me, but I agree that we are even with Tara now."

"I just want to protect you."

"I know. It's time for Tara to stand on her own two feet now. I should have made her rescue herself at least some of the time in high school and after. Maybe that would have helped her grow up."

"I didn't want Tara to kill Kohn for completely pure reasons. I was afraid that if he lived he would come after me or come after you. He's a coward so he wouldn't go after you directly. He could hide and shoot you. That was part of the reason I wanted her to kill Kohn. Am I bad for that?"

"No. If Kohn had lived, he would have come after one or all of us. Next time, his plan might have been better and more successful. You did the right thing."

"Believe it or not, that's not why I was having a meltdown tonight," she said.

"It gets worse?"

"Nothing else happened. It's my head stuff. The whole thing with Kohn just sent me into this mental spin about my abusive ex, everything I went through and how just a few months before I found the dead bodies of my friends and co-workers shot to death," Scarlett shut her eyes. The painkillers had finally kicked in and taken all the pain away. She never had that sense of euphoria that is supposed to come with painkiller use. Her body finally quit hurting. That was all.

Jax carefully moved so he could hold her in his arms without jarring her spine.

"I understand," he whispered. "I'm glad you called me."

"I fought it. All I could think about was wanting to feel safe."

"When you called me, I was surprised. I know how you are so damned independent that something big had to have happened, but big or small, you can always call me. I always want to be with you and you can always depend on me."

Scarlett had found a love she never thought existed much less happen to her. It scared the hell out of her though because she was afraid she wouldn't be able to hang on to it. Now that she had Jax, she faced a new terror: losing him.

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Author's Note: I always wondered what Jax meant by that hit and run comment he made to Tara in S1 when they are in the hospital and she tells him she's leaving. This is my explanation. She did things and Jax fixed them. She hits, she runs and he fixes.

Tara has a plotline that will go beyond Tara bashing. I like to think that if we can understand why people do the things they do, we might see them differently and I like to believe that people can grow and change when they realize errors they are making with their lives.

Guest reviewer: Here's a nice meaty chapter for you with many emotional levels and some nice Jax and Scars moments.

They all won't be like this, so you may have to save up some chapters. Hope you enjoyed.