A/N: So, I was originally going to post this one last October, but I put it aside in favor of one of Ryuujin96's requests, and I didn't want to wait until next October, so here it is now. Also, I had to shorten the chapter title because of Fanfiction's chapter name length limit, but you might get the reference if you're familiar with a certain Bostonian who once said: "Nevermore!"
It was a cold fall night, and Todoroki was driving from Shizuoka, having attended a Future Heroes of Japan convention with Deku. Thus far, the drive home was going smoothly. Then, about 25 miles from Musutafu, Todoroki noticed the "temperature" light come on, and she pulled her Oldsmobile over just as smoke started coming out of the hood, so once the car was in "PARK", she shut the engine off. Her and Deku got out, and she opened the hood to check the problem.
"Well?" said Deku.
"The radiator has no coolant. One of the coolant lines must've sprung a leak, but I can't be sure of which one unless I take it to a mechanic."
"Right. I'll call JAF."
Deku whipped out his phone and called the Japan Automobile Federation. Once he hung up, a man dressed in a security guard uniform consisting of a light blue button-down shirt, dark blue pants and a dark blue peaked cap approached them.
"Excuse me, is everything OK?" asked the security guard.
"Aside from some car trouble, yes," replied Todoroki.
The guard gestured to a nearby security gate. "You can park in our lot for the time being. I'll inform the tow truck driver that you're here."
"Right. Deku, please lift the car."
Deku gave a thumbs up. "Got it!"
Deku proceeded to carry Todoroki's Oldsmobile into the nearby parking lot while the guard opened the gate for them. While carrying the car, Deku caught sight of a sign that read "IKITAMIZU PREFECTURAL PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL". While he had slight qualms about visiting the place, he reminded himself that him and Todoroki were just parking her car here until a tow truck could arrive. Once Todoroki found a suitable spot for her Oldsmobile, she signalled Deku, who put the car down. Then, she heard a grumbling sound.
"What was that?"
Deku rubbed his stomach. "I don't know about you, but I'm hungry."
Todoroki's stomach grumbled, too. "Now that you mention it, so am I. Question is, how are we even going to get food?"
"Good evening, young fellows! What brings you here?"
Deku and Todoroki turned to see who'd addressed them: an old, balding man with a goatee and glasses. He was dressed up in a gray suit with a black tie and black leather dress shoes.
"Hello there," said Todoroki. "We've had some car trouble, so the guard out front let us park here until a tow truck arrived. Who are you?"
"My name is Nobuyuki Minami. I am the administrator of this hospital."
"I'm Shoko Todoroki, and this is my boyfriend, Izuku Midoriya."
"Pleased to meet you both!"
Deku and Todoroki both bowed to Minami.
"Can I interest either of you two in some food?" asked Minami.
Deku nodded. "Please do! We're hungry!"
"Then please come along with me."
Minami led Deku and Todoroki to the hospital. On its exterior, it hardly appeared to be any different from modern hospital buildings. Perhaps the only thing distinguishing it from other hospitals was a fountain near the front of the building that was topped with a recreation of Michelangelo's David. When they got inside, however, they noticed that the reception area of the building was richly-furnished, with an imported Persian rug, chandeliers for illumination and a fireplace at one end. A receptionist – a middle-aged woman with her hair in a bun – sat at a mahogany office desk.
"Oh, Mr. Minami, who have you brought today?"
"These two were having some car trouble, so I'm inviting them in for some food and drink."
"Very well."
Before Minami could lead Deku and Todoroki to get some food, he noticed that they had become entranced by a petite young woman with long hair – possibly their age – playing the Night Court theme on saxophone. After playing for a minute more, she stopped as she took notice of Deku and Todoroki.
"Pretty good, huh?" said the young woman.
Deku smiled. "That was great! Have you been playing the saxophone for long?"
"Ever since I was a little girl."
"What made you want to take up the instrument?" asked Todoroki.
"I can't exactly remember. All I know is my uncle encouraged me to take up some sort of creative pursuit, and TADA! Next thing you know, I'm playing the saxophone."
"Having a jovial little chat, Saori?" said Minami.
Deku and Todoroki turned to Minami.
"Is she one of the patients here?" asked Todoroki.
"Heavens, no! This is my niece, Saori Sasaki! Saori, this is Izuku Midoriya and Shoko Todoroki."
Saori smiled. "How do you do?"
Saori bowed before Deku and Todoroki, who returned the gesture as well.
"Hey, sorry about that…" Todoroki rubbed the back of her head.
"It's OK!" said Saori. "I get that a lot!"
"Yes, more than once, my little Saori has been mistaken for one of our patients," said Minami. "However, this pales in comparison to the various incidents we've had in regards to the thoughtlessness of certain visitors. While this hospital's former system of treating patients was in effect, during which patients were given a great deal of liberty to roam about as they pleased, they often went into a dangerous frenzy by visitors who weren't very careful. Because of this, I was forced to maintain a rigid system of standards for potential visitors, excluding those whom I deemed untrustworthy to be around the patients."
Deku stroked his chin. "Your former system? What more can you tell us about that?"
"It was a promising system, albeit…unfortunately…one in which its drawbacks far outweighed its advantages." Minami temporarily averted his gaze. "Rather than seeking to punish our patients for the mental incompetencies that brought them here in the first place, we sought not only to understand their issues, but even to reward them with the highest degree of love and caring that we could provide, and it was because of this love and caring that many a patient left here much better off than if they'd been left untreated.
However, not only did we work on attempting to treat their conditions, but we also gave them leisure to indulge in amusements of a simple sort such as music, dancing, exercise, board and card games, and even certain books. As a matter of fact, we acted not as if we were treating them for mental issues, but for ordinary maladies such as colds and the flu, and in doing so, we tried to avoid words directly related to the treatment of mental health. Another one of our methods was to employ a patient to supervise other patients, and by investing our confidence in the patients, to grow their own confidence as well. Not only that, but we were able to reduce the amount of money we spent on employing security guards."
"And you never punished a single patient?" asked Todoroki.
"No."
"But did you ever confine them?" asked Deku.
"Rarely, if ever. On occasion, there would be patients whose challenges were so great or who proved to be overly violent that they had to be confined to a special cell, where they would be kept until they could prove that they were ready to behave in an orderly fashion.
"But why then would you discontinue this system?" asked Todoroki.
"As I have mentioned earlier, its drawbacks were too great to merit further continuation. As to anybody who would sing its praises, believe nothing you hear, and only one half that you see. After dinner, however, once you are feeling up to it, I will be happy to give you a further tour of the hospital, and in doing so introduce you to a system that I – in addition to those who have witnessed its application – believe to be the most effective yet."
"Is it something that you came up with?" asked Deku.
"To a certain degree, yes. But let us discontinue our idle chat for now and have dinner."
Minami led Deku and Todoroki to a private dining area. One thing that the two lovebirds took notice of was that, like the foyer, the rest of the hospital was decorated in such a manner that was more suggestive of a hotel than a hospital. At one point, they passed through a hallway that offered a view of a central courtyard. Deku and Todoroki marvelled at the gardens that were planted here.
"I wish I could show you the patients at the moment, but I'm afraid that I would spoil your appetites in doing so," said Minami.
Eventually, the three came to the private dining area, where the hospital staff dined. Like the rest of the hospital, it too was ornately furnished, with a number of long, rectangular mahogany tables placed end-to-end along with matching chairs. There was a veritable smorgasbord of food on silver platters, with fine china plates for eating along with porcelain chopsticks. Seated at the table were a number of doctors, nurses and orderlies who were employed here. To the untrained observer, they looked like ordinary hospital staff, but Deku noticed that their uniforms seemed to be rather ill-fitting. For now, though, he chalked it up to uniform shortages. In one corner, somebody was playing a Minimoog, and to Deku's ears, it sounded like a half-assed attempt at Emerson, Lake & Palmer at best and a laser gun being thrown in a garbage disposal at worst. Nevertheless, he sat down with Minami and Todoroki when instructed by the former.
"Good evening, Mr. Minami," said one of the nurses, a short blonde woman. "May I ask who our two guests are?"
"Miss Nakai, this is Izuku Midoriya and Shoko Todoroki. Midoriya, Todoroki, this is Chiyo Nakai, one of our nurses."
Deku and Todoroki said "hi" and waved to Nakai before helping themselves to some food.
"So, what made you bring them here?" asked Nakai.
Minami finished serving himself some chicken katsu. "Well, they were having car trouble, so I thought it best to bring them in and share our food with them while they awaited a tow truck."
Nakai smiled. "Then perhaps you'd like to tell them the story of that guy who set his blanket on fire and ate it!"
Minami chuckled. "Perhaps you'd be better suited to telling that one! You were, after all, the one who attended to him."
"Very well. OK, so one of our patients somehow got a large supply of hand sanitizer, and he used it to set his blanket on fire and ate it while it was still burning. We ended up having to send him to another hospital for severe burns to his esophagus."
"Or how about this one guy who had a Quirk that could turn inanimate objects into fish?" said a tall doctor. "Man, he really stunk this place up!"
One orderly nearly choked on her food. "Isamu, do you really have to gross us out like that?"
Isamu Mizushima smiled. "Sorry, Sachiko; I couldn't help myself!"
"That aside, are you two enjoying your food, Midoriya and Todoroki?" asked Minami.
Deku smiled. "Very much so! This is quite possibly the best katsudon I've ever had!"
"Yeah, and this zaru soba was expertly cooked, too!" said Todoroki.
"Good, I'm glad you're enjoying it!"
"Hey, did I tell you about this guy who had a frog Quirk?" said another doctor.
Deku and Todoroki perked up at the mention of this. While they knew that it wasn't uncommon for different people in different parts of the world to have very similar Quirks, they were still surprised at the possibility of somebody sharing Tsu's Quirk.
"No, you didn't," said Todoroki.
"So basically, his Quirk allowed him to turn into a giant frog, and he went around trying to eat the other patients as if they were flies."
"And how did you cure him?" asked Deku.
"We had another guy whose Quirk could change the size of living beings, so we had him enlarge flies for our frog man to feed on."
The hospital staff had a good laugh at this story.
Deku smiled. "That's interesting, but…" He turned to Minami. "Will you excuse Todoroki and I? We have to go to the bathroom."
"Very well. Go down the hall and take a left. There's a bathroom on the right."
Deku led Todoroki out of the dining hall and stood a few ways away from the door.
"What's wrong, Deku?"
Deku leaned a bit closer to whisper to Todoroki. "Shoko, I don't trust these people. Judging by the way their clothes are ill-fitting and their body language, they're definitely up to something."
Todoroki put her index finger up to her cheek. "But what?"
"I don't know, but let's just play along for now, and we'll strike when the time is right, OK?"
Todoroki gave a thumbs-up. "Got it."
Deku and Todoroki returned to their seats.
"Everything good?" asked Minami.
Deku smiled and nodded. "Yes, very good!" He continued eating his katsudon.
"So anyways, wanna hear about the guy with the cola Quirk?" asked another doctor.
Deku nodded. "Sure."
"So basically, he would often shake himself around, and when he did that, his Quirk would cause the cola to spray everywhere!" The doctor had a good laugh. "Boy, the janitors had a fun time with that!"
Everyone had a good laugh hearing this story, though Deku's and Todoroki's seemed a bit forced.
"Hey Yuuta, we can't forget the guy with the donkey Quirk!" said another orderly.
"Donkey Quirk?" Todoroki took another bite of soba.
"Yeah, it was the weirdest thing: basically, he could do everything that a donkey could, and then he found this really fat patient and attempted to paint him green! Can you believe it?"
The hospital staff once again had a good laugh. Minami got up and made a downwards pushing motion with his hands.
"Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, that'll be all for now."
Just then, the room fell dead silent as Deku and Todoroki thought they heard what sounded like screaming coming from elsewhere in the hospital. They got chills up and down their spines, feeling as though the screams were those of a thousand lost souls – that is, the departed souls of mortal men and women roaming unseen upon the planet seeking to find life they would not find, for it was too late, for they would never see again the life they chose not to follow.
"Did you hear that?" said Deku.
Minami nodded. "Yes, on occasion, our patients will get together and howl in concert. It does happen sometimes where these yells are accompanied by an escape attempt, attempts that rarely – if ever – succeed."
"How many patients do you house here?" asked Todoroki.
"At present, we are caring for 35 patients."
Deku nodded. "Anyways, this new, more rigorous system…tell us more about it."
"While the confinement of patients is indeed rigorous, the treatment is still far more agreeable than anything that is to be found in Japan nowadays."
"And you said it was something that you had at least partially devised?" said Todoroki.
"To a degree. Parts of this system were devised by an American, a fellow by the name of Doctor Edgar Tarr. Perhaps you've heard of him, or of another American, a Professor Allan Fether, whose works had also contributed to the creation of my new system."
Deku and Todoroki shook their heads.
"No, I can't say I've heard of either of them," said Deku.
"Neither have I," said Todoroki.
Minami gasped. "Good heavens! You two mean to tell me that neither of you have heard of the learned Doctor Tarr or the celebrated Professor Fether!?"
"Nope," said Deku and Todoroki.
"I implore you, research their works once you have left this institution! For now, though, join me and the rest of us in a glass of imported American cider!"
Minami and a few of his employees cracked open some bottles of Martinelli's sparkling cider, which they poured into some lowball glasses.
« Pour la santé ! »
Everyone toasted and drank up.
"So, Mr. Minami, the old system that you talked about earlier…tell me more about why you discontinued it," said Deku.
Minami lowered his glass. "As I have mentioned before, its drawbacks outweighed its advantages, chiefly in the fact that if left unattended for any appreciable length of time, patients can become unpredictable. It is my opinion as well as the opinion of Dr. Tarr and Professor Fether that even if a patient appears to be cured, he/she is apt to become very stubborn. You'd be surprised how cunning certain patients can be, too. Once they get something in mind, they're bound to keep it hidden from the hospital staff, and it is in my opinion that when patients appear to be at their sanest, then they are to be restrained."
"No…this can't be true!" said Todoroki. "You couldn't possibly believe that giving patients such liberty is hazardous…could you?"
"In my own experience, yes. You see, a while ago, there was a certain incident that occurred when the old system was in place: one morning, the patients staged an uprising against the hospital staff and locked them in the holding cells."
Deku's eyes widened as he gasped. "No way!"
"Yes way. One of the patients had gotten it into his head that he had a better system of treating patients than any that had come before, and having thought of this system, he convinced the rest of the patients to join him in a conspiracy to overthrow the hospital staff."
Todoroki shook her head. "I still can't believe he succeeded!"
"Neither could I, but the fact remains that he did, and the hospital staff were treated in a very cavalier manner by the patients."
Deku scratched his head. "But if that happened, wouldn't somebody take notice? If somebody had come to visit the hospital, then they definitely would've alerted the authorities!"
"And that's where you're wrong. The leader of the uprising was far too clever for that. He refused to admit any visitors…that is, with the exception of a young couple of whom he had no reason to be afraid. He let them in to see the premises, just to have some fun with them. As soon as he'd thoroughly convinced them of his upstanding nature, he sent them on their merry way."
"So how long did the patients reign?" asked Todoroki.
"For about a month or so. In the meantime, the patients ate, drank and made all sorts of merriment of themselves. They certainly lived well."
"So I guess the head of the uprising put in his own system of treatment."
"No doubt he did. In fact, I am of the opinion that his treatment was better than the one it superseded, and…"
Just then, Minami was cut off by another series of yells, but what got to Deku and Todoroki was that they sounded as if they were approaching the private dining area.
"Hey," said Deku, "is it just me or have the patients broken loose?"
"I fear that you are right," said Minami, now looking very pale.
Sure enough, the door burst open, and a group of men and women in ill-fitting clothing stormed into the room. One man pointed at Minami.
"Stop them!" said the man. "He's the one who imprisoned us!"
Almost immediately, the employee dining area turned into a scene of mass bedlam as hospital staff and patients alike fired Quirks at each other. Deku turned to Todoroki and nodded, and they too joined in the fray as tables were overturned and food and drink flew about, creating such a mess on the fine carpeting as if to suggest a Jackson Pollock painting. Even the guy who was playing the Minimoog abandoned his poor attempts at ELP to join in the frenzy. Then, while Deku and Todoroki were assisting the newly-freed hospital staff in combatting the patients, the former saw a golden opportunity regarding Minami, and…
(One For All, Full Cowling, 45%!) "DETROIT SMASH!"
Deku slammed Minami into the wall with a punch, and it was upon this happening that the patients' attempts at continuing their uprising began to crumble. Todoroki ran over to Deku.
"Let's get out of here!" said Todoroki.
Figuring that the hospital staff had things well under control, Deku hightailed it out of there with Todoroki in tow. It was later on that the two of them learned that Nobuyuki Minami had indeed once been the administrator of Ikitamizu Hospital, but had gone mad himself and was made into a patient. The exploits that Minami had related to them at dinner were merely his own, and the hospital staff, after being imprisoned, were treated to the centuries-old custom of tarring and feathering before being locked away. They had been imprisoned for about a month, during which they were not only applied with a generous portion of tar and feathers – the "system" that Minami had spoken of earlier – but were fed a meager diet of bread and water. It was only because one of the hospital staff used his own Quirk to break free that the hospital staff was able to regain control of the situation, and the prior system of treating patients was restored.
As for the works of Doctor Edgar Tarr and Professor Allan Fether…Deku scoured the Internet as well as every physical library in Japan, but failed to procure even a scrap of evidence pertaining to their works.
Criticism is gold. Negativity and nitpicking are pyrite.