2.2

Taylor Hebert

It was stupid. She was stupid. Why had she ever thought it would be a good idea to take in her mom's flute?

It was just... She'd needed something. Emma and Sophia had kept up their bullying campaign against her every day, getting the other girls to join in more and more. Madison and Julia felt like they were jockeying for position to be bitch number three and some of the other girls were getting worse too. Every day she was expecting, dreading things would keep getting worse, for the others to start getting physical with her too.

When winter break had arrived she'd finally been able to relax, even spend some time with her dad like they weren't still just tiptoeing around each other. It had actually been nice and she didn't need to think about Winslow, about Emma or Sophia or anything.

And then it was suddenly time to go back. Back to the bullying, all the people who hated her or ignored her and she knew she couldn't just not go, as much as part of her had tried to convince herself otherwise. To pretend she was sick or talk to her dad again about the bullying or anything just so she could avoid going back there for a little bit longer.

But she couldn't do any of it. She didn't want to tell her dad again, see him realise that when he'd talked to the school the first time nothing had changed. That none of the administration cared and even the couple of teachers who did wouldn't actually do anything to help her.

After mom died he'd just retreated into himself and his work and he never really came back. She couldn't put that on him too, especially when it wouldn't help and probably make things worse for her when the other girls found out.

Taylor knew her mom wanted her to finish school, that was what had kept her going through all of the last semester. She didn't want to let her mom down by giving up, she didn't want to let them win no matter how much they pushed her.

But she'd needed something to face going back, to help get her through the first day at least. Having her mom's flute there in her bag on the way to school, in her locker through the day... It had been reassuring. Just being able to open her locker and see it there, it had made things easier when the bullying had started up again.

So she'd taken it back again on Tuesday and then the whole week had passed and whilst nothing had gotten better, it had become that tiny bit more manageable. She'd made it to the weekend despite everything they'd thrown at her as though they'd been trying to make up for lost time over the break.

She almost hadn't taken it back in with her on Monday, but again nothing had happened and it had helped.

Ever since Emma and Sophia had started stealing things from her bag she'd been keeping anything she didn't need to have on her in her locker. She couldn't prove it was the two of them responsible for the thefts, but it wasn't exactly hard to figure it out when they taunted her over losing her homework or when her textbook had gone missing and turned up covered in juice.

Taylor didn't know why she hadn't expected them to take things further. To break into her locker and she still didn't even know how they'd done it, no matter how much she'd gone over it in her mind.

The lock was still there so there hadn't even been any reason for her to think anything was wrong. Not until she'd opened the door and saw the flute was missing, still vaguely hoping it had simply slipped behind something until Emma and Sophia had appeared behind her, their obvious satisfaction making her pale in dread and disbelief that Emma would really go so far.

Emma had known her mom, they'd had sleepovers at her place, Emma had comforted her for weeks after her mom had died and so a large part of her still hadn't believed what her mind had already figured out. Not until Emma had displayed the flute in front of her like some trophy and shattered every last hope that there was still some part of her best friend that Emma hadn't thrown away along with everything else, a part that Sophia hadn't somehow corrupted whilst she'd been away at camp over the summer.

And then her mom's flute was gone. She couldn't get it back from Sophia, the school wouldn't believe her and even if they did agree to search their lockers she knew they wouldn't find anything.

Taylor had just gone home, not even hearing the rest of the taunts they'd thrown at her as she'd wiped at her eyes with her sleeve and left. It wasn't like she had anything else to lose at that point.

She didn't remember saying anything to her dad when he'd got in later that night, she wasn't even sure he noticed how red her eyes must have been.

The next morning she couldn't find it in herself to get out of bed, not that she'd slept much and the current morning wasn't much better. What would have been the point? To have Emma mock her over her reaction to losing the flute that the other girl had probably already thrown away? To have Sophia constantly shove her in the hallways, try and trip her and pretend like Taylor had bumped into her?

The school wouldn't care, not unless she never came back, maybe not even then. It was hard to even rationalise going back at all, the thoughts of what her mom wanted for her breaking easily against her hatred. Hatred towards both the duo of Emma and Sophia and herself for how she'd already betrayed her mom's memory by losing her flute in such a stupid way.

She'd gotten up eventually though, long after her dad had left for work, listening with half an ear as his beat up truck had pulled out of the driveway whilst she'd lain there in bed. She was long out of tears by that point, but still mired in her own misery until she'd finally dragged herself out of bed and started to feel a little more human after a shower and something to eat.

After tidying up a bit for the simple want of something to do, she'd eventually relocated to the kitchen and was still nursing what was left of the tea in her mug with both hands as she'd continued to mull over the thought of attending school the next day.

She'd already given up on the idea of just not going back at all, despite how much she hated Winslow and almost everyone in it she did want to finish school and go to college like her mom had wanted for her. She still wanted to prove that she could and that she wasn't the weak, pathetic loser they kept calling her day in, day out.

Though part of her decision was the resentful practicality of it. Taylor knew that her bullies needed to gloat and try and get a reaction out of her, especially after what had happened the previous day. If she didn't go back in on Friday they'd have the whole weekend to stew on it and she didn't want to know if that would encourage them to try and top their efforts on Monday instead.

A sharp rap on the door broke her out of her musings and Taylor jumped, looking across the house to the door with a mixture of startlement and curiosity as she wondered who it could be. The surprise of it delayed her for a moment before she absently placed her mug down on the table and pulled herself up to head over to the front door. When she reached it she found herself pausing with a grimace, quickly glancing down at herself as she unhooked the latch, making sure she looked at least reasonably presentable to the world before she pulled open the door, looking up only to freeze in surprise and shock.

For a moment she hadn't recognised the other girl, but confusion had quickly given way to shock and then just as quickly to anger threaded with an undercurrent of fear. A hundred different thoughts cascaded through her mind as she saw Madison Clements standing at her doorstep and her warring emotions wrestled for dominance at seeing one of her bullies right there in front of her. She was frozen in place, her thoughts chasing each other as question after question ran through her mind. 'Why would Madison be here?' 'How did she know where to find her?' 'Was this another of Emma's pranks?' 'Were there others waiting just out of sight? Why would she-'

"I'm sorry!"

The blunt, almost desperate declaration was like a splash of cold water to Taylor's thoughts, incomprehension pushing everything else out of her mind and whatever words she might have been about to say died on her lips as the shorter girl was suddenly speaking again, the words rushing from her lips as though she wouldn't get another chance.

"I'm really, really sorry Taylor! I know I've been horrible, that I'm a shitty person and you didn't deserve any of the things I said to you and I'm sorry for all of it!"

"That's it?" She heard herself say in the moment Madison paused for breath, suddenly feeling like she was viewing things from the third person. Sheer confusion brushing against the rising anger that Madison had the gall to come to her house and apologise and just think that was enough?!

"That what?" She began, feeling her voice rising with each word as her hand gripped the door handle tightly enough to hurt and only fed her rising anger. "You of all people suddenly started feeling bad and that you could just say sorry and everything's fixed just like that? That I'll forgive you and then tomorrow everything will just go straight back to normal even if you aren't lying and this isn't some fucked up prank you all came up with together?!"

"That even if by some miracle you are being genuine, even if you stopped saying everything you'd still just let everyone else keep going, just keep watching and laughing like everyone else but it's fine, because you apologised?!"

Taylor knew she had started shouting at some point but she didn't care, all the tension and stress and anger and grieving and powerlessness finally finding an outlet as she unloaded everything on the shorter girl who cringed away at every word like it was a physical blow.

A part of Taylor relished the look on the other girl's face, to finally be giving back for once instead of always taking it, always being on the receiving end for every vile thing her bullies spat at her when she was just trying to be left alone.

There was a dark satisfaction to seeing Madison recoil, even if another part of her grew more and more frustrated that the other girl was still there at all. That Madison wasn't defending herself, wasn't saying anything even if Taylor knew she wasn't letting her speak and refused to give her the chance at all, all the while another part of her belatedly put to rest the question of whether or not she'd inherited some of her father's temper.

"Because you're not the one treating me like shit anymore? Is that it?" She shouted, words and accusations tumbling out one after the other even if they weren't aimed at Madison specifically anymore. "Just Madison Clements putting a band aid on her guilt so you can feel better about yourself when you don't do anything to help?! Giving me some fake apologies so you don't have to do anything and all your empty words just give you the right to-"

"I broke into the school!"

"What?" Taylor could only reply, her previous fire leaving her even more abruptly than it had come as she tried to parse the statement and failed.

She could only watch, confused as Madison took a shaky intake of breath, eyes fluttering closed for a moment before they opened again and met Taylor's own, the other girl's voice coming out in a tremor of unshed tears as she started to speak.

"You're right, you're completely right Taylor but I wanted to apologise. I needed to. I know it's selfish and I know it doesn't mean anything by itself and that they're just words. But I had to say them and show you I meant it!"

It was Taylor's turn to be caught on the receiving end as she braced against Madison's own very different outpouring of emotion, all of her previous anger and loathing being smothered by the shorter girl's seemingly unending ramblings.

Taylor hated how off balance she was, the almost pity she felt for Madison at the unrestrained emotion, the sheer earnestness in her voice even as Taylor tried to make sense of the words themselves. She stood there, trying desperately to understand if what she was hearing was real, wanting to believe it as much as she didn't. Trying to find refuge in her hatred rather than risk getting hurt again as Madison just continued to speak before Taylor could find any footing on her emotions at all.

"I'm trying to be better Taylor and I know it's not going to be enough and that it's just the start and that I need to keep being better. Like a friend but probably not actually a friend because you wouldn't want me as a friend and I don't deserve that. But someone who actually cares! And will stick up for you and not let them keep doing things and say something when they do! I wanted to show you that I'm sorry, how sorry I am for everything and show you that I mean it but I didn't know what to do!"

"But then it was the first thing I thought of and I knew it was the right thing to do even if you still hate me and I don't want you to think I want anything return! I just want you to have it because what they did was completely fucked up and I couldn't, I couldn't just let them get away with it and, and-"

"Madison stop! What are you talking about?" She broke in when the other girl finally seemed to run out of breath, tears glimmering at the corners of her eyes. Taylor's own satisfaction at unloading on Madison only seconds earlier twisted in revulsion at both herself and the other girl in a confusing mess of emotions she tried to push down as best she could. The rest of her trying to understand what the hell Madison had started talking about.

Madison seemed to realise she'd missed something important too as her eyes went wide and she reached inside her coat for something, wiping her eyes on her other sleeve as she sniffled. She seemed to pause briefly, though long enough for it to be noticeable before she pulled her arm back out and Taylor found her own eyes going wide as she sucked in a sharp gasp at seeing her mother's flute, pristine and undamaged in Madison's hand.

The other girl offered it tentatively and Taylor took it without conscious thought, eyes already examining it for any damage as she carefully turned it over in her hands. Looking for any cracks, any marks, any blemishes at all and finding none.

She looked back up to Madison slowly, her composure almost completely shot as her mind was trying to tell her to feel five different emotions at once and settling on none of them.

"How?" she asked before her mind caught up with her. She'd seen Sophia take it, how had Madison of all people managed to get it back?!

Madison's small fragile smile made the curious turn to abashed as she looked away slightly and refused to make eye contact. "This morning... I kind of basically broke into the school and then ripped open Emma's locker with a crowbar... So, um yeah..."

Taylor found herself gaping and also found she didn't care, trying to imagine Madison, the girl everyone thought was cutesy, inoffensive, harmless prying open Emma's locker with a crowbar like some ABB delinquent and failing entirely.

Her thoughts made a circle and came back to just why Madison had purportedly done what she had. "You wanted to show you were serious about being sorry and your first thought was to break the law?"

"I didn't know what else to do!"

Taylor laughed. She couldn't help it, the whole thing was absurd, Madison being there, the stupid story she'd told which even more stupidly had to be true, the sheer confusion and relief she felt over everything...

She looked back to Madison to see her sporting a small embarrassed smile, cheeks flushed pink. Though as Taylor finally recovered her wits and started to feel the cold morning wind nipping at her exposed skin she realised that Madison's blush could have just been from the cold as much as any embarrassment she might have been feeling.

Taylor sighed, shaking her head as the last of the sudden laughter left her, eyes finding the flute again in her hand, feeling the cold metal against her fingers curled protectively around it. Part of her wanted to thank Madison, part of her didn't. Taylor knew Madison hadn't been directly involved, but she was one of them and it was really the bare minimum. But still...

She couldn't help the next sigh that escaped her, giving up on her conflicting thoughts as she felt herself actually starting to shiver. It was one thing to briefly greet the postman or delivery person or whoever, but having what had probably been a ten minute sort of argument definitely wasn't what she was dressed for.

She knew she should just shut the door, tell Madison to go. Wait and see if she actually lived up to her word tomorrow or Monday, or if it was all just nothing in the end like it always had been whenever someone had apologised in the first few weeks it had all started.

But.