3.0 - A Paradigm Shift is Like a Brick in a Tumble Dryer
Madison really wanted to take a sip of her tea just to give herself a few more seconds to think and the worst part was she knew her mom knew that too.
Unfortunately the tea was still way too hot and she hadn't inherited her mom's obvious cape power of drinking scalding hot liquids like it was nothing. Nope, she was stuck with a stupid thinker power that pointed out the obvious and maybe also a mover power that even if it was mover twelve wouldn't save her.
Despite the fact she knew she was all but squirming in place her mom didn't say anything, a single raised eyebrow the only indication that she was waiting for her only daughter's answer and depending on the answer maybe she wouldn't even be that.
"Why do you think I didn't go to school..?" Madison asked in a much smaller voice than she'd intended, not quite shying away, but probably doing a very good impression of it.
Her mom's smile only broadened into something far more amused as she replied. "After how unwell you were yesterday, did you really think I wouldn't check up on you before I left today?"
She winced. "So this morning..."
"Imagine my surprise when instead of my daughter still sleeping in because she's too unwell to go to school, or perhaps pretending to be she's instead nowhere to be found."
"I could have gone to school" Madison very reasonably pointed out in her opinion, irrelevant of the fact it was technically what had happened regardless.
"I'm sure you could have." Her mother agreed easily, which was the first warning sign. "Without breakfast or any of your school things, though I'm not quite sure why you would?"
Madison's mind helpfully decided to remind her that her school bag was still right where she'd left it... When she'd got in from school on Tuesday and she struggled not to visibly cringe at her very ever so slight oversight.
She gave up with a sigh a moment later, not that there had ever been a chance to win a verbal sparring match with her mother to begin with. She was just doing what she had always done she mused, try and find a way out that didn't end with her getting into trouble, or at least as much trouble.
Madison paused as she caught the throwaway thought and held onto it, almost laughing at how obvious it was. She was doing the exact same thing again! The whole thing with the flute was her trying to be better, to actually be a Hero and not make excuses and she was just doing it again to her mom without even thinking about it!
She shook her head, dispelling the darker thoughts that threatened to dwell if she let them. "Okay, I didn't go to school today" she admitted sheepishly.
"Yes I rather gathered" her mother replied without missing a beat, "I would like you to tell me why though Madison."
She took a breath, the warm scent of the tea filling her senses. "I-" and she suddenly found herself pausing, not even sure where to start. How did she tell her mom what she'd done? That she was a h-horrible person and didn't deserve to have her smile at her like that? She felt herself tearing up before she really realised it was happening, sniffling abruptly as she cradled the cup closer to herself.
"I'm sorry" she whimpered as her head drooped, fat tears falling to splash wetly on the table below. It was as though all of her anxieties about her parents ever finding out about her bullying came rushing out all at once, along with all the stress and exhaustion accumulated throughout her day at Winslow and Taylor's house and everything in between. She'd never really stopped, even when she'd gotten home she was still trying to distract herself, find something to keep going before she could really dwell on things. At how close she'd come to everything crashing down around her at so many different points.
She felt herself shaking as the tears kept coming, eyes scrunched shut as she used the sleeve of her hoodie to keep wiping them away. She didn't even know what she was feeling. How much of it was her self-hatred of what she'd allowed herself to become, the fear of what her parents would think of her as much as it was the sheer exhausted relief that she would no longer be that person her power had shown her and that everything had ultimately turned out as well as it had.
"Oh Madison" she heard her mother say softly, hearing her get up, the brief sound of footsteps before another chair was pulled out beside her, an arm circling her shoulder and gently pulling her to rest against the warmth of her mom's side.
It was a few minutes before she had enough control to speak again, sniffling as she took a shaky drink of her tea and rubbed her cheek with her other hand as she regained at least some of her composure.
"Are you ready to talk now sweetie?" Her mother coaxed, one hand giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze.
She nodded, not quite trusting herself to answer as she tried to figure out what to say, the first words just tumbling out of her mouth. "I'm sorry." She began again, quickly continuing before her mother or her own insecurities could stop her. "I was just scared. I'm, I haven't been a good person and I'm just trying to be better now."
She had to stop then, scrunching her eyes shut again as her hand came up to rub at her eyes and stained her sleeve further.
Her mom didn't say anything and Madison wasn't sure if that was better as she tried to find the words to continue. "In school, I've... I've been bullying a girl in my year."
"Really Madison? After what you went through at your last school?" The chastisement was light, but may as well have been a shout for how keenly she felt it, squirming uncomfortably in shame and guilt and unable to bring herself to look up at her mom's face.
"I was just scared, I know it's not an excuse but these other girls were bullying her and I tried to ignore it and then I was scared if I didn't join in they'd bully me again and I just kept doing it and it just got easier and easier."
She took a breath. "But the other day they did something really horrible. The girl who's being bullied, her mom died about a year ago and the other girls stole something from her locker."
"I'm guessing from how you're reacting it was something very important to this other girl?"
Madison nodded. "Her mom's flute."
She heard her mother sigh and she wasn't sure if it was directed at her or the scene she'd painted so far, but it made her feel even more terrible all the same. "Is that why you looked so awful yesterday? I did think it was strange how out of the blue it came on, even for this time of year."
Madison nodded again, a hand coming up unconsciously to rub her cheek. "I felt awful" she answered honestly, though it was an understatement she wasn't going to clarify.
Part of her wanted to give in right then, to tell her mom everything, about her power, about the weird maybe future memories thing that she still didn't understand, just all of it. But maybe it was fear again or maybe it was her pride, but she didn't want to tell them, not then, not yet at least. Not until she was sure of who she was and what that actually meant.
A more insistent part of her affirmed that she wasn't done, that she'd barely begun righting her wrongs and working on the path of the Hero thing her power had outlined for her. And so telling her parents... She loved them, but it was something she'd never be able to take back once she'd said it.
She wouldn't be Madison anymore to them, she'd be their daughter who had powers and she was afraid of what that might mean and how it could change things. Even if her parents didn't try and push her into the Wards as part of her was scared they might, no matter how reasonable or unreasonable that fear actually was... Things would be different. And after how much her life felt like it had been upended over the last couple of days and undoubtedly would be in future, she wanted to cling to at least one bit of safety and stability as long as she could.
She knew it wasn't fair on her parents and they deserved to know, that it would only be worse the longer she left it until she finally did tell them. Or worse still if they found out on their own and knew she'd been hiding it from them the entire time, but she couldn't help it, she couldn't tell them. Not yet.
"I know it must have been hard for you to tell me that Madison" her mother said in the lingering silence that had followed her pitying admission, each word measured and calm even though Madison knew her mother might have felt anything but. Her mother sighed slightly, a small amount of wistfulness entering her tone as she continued. "It's obviously been affecting you and it's clear you know just how poorly you've been acting without me having to say anything further. However I'm afraid it still doesn't entirely explain where you were today?"
Madison blinked at the question, remembering only then that she hadn't actually explained any of her actions. "Um well I wanted to apologise, but just saying sorry didn't feel like it would be enough to make up for anything, not really."
She could see the gears turning in her mother's mind as her contemplative look focused into a more scrutinising one. "The flute, you tried to get it back for this other girl didn't you?"
Madison found herself nodding again, "I went to the school early so no one would see me."
"I know you must have left early enough that the school wouldn't have been open when you arrived, are you telling me you broke into the school Madison?"
"Does it um, count as breaking in if the door was unlocked?"
Her mother's frown deepened, though Madison wasn't sure if that was because her question was terrible or because she had just admitted to breaking into her school.
"I'm going to assume the flute was not simply in this other girl's desk?"
"It was in her locker..." Madison replied in a way that was absolutely not awkward at all and she definitely maintained eye contact with her mother the entire time.
She didn't miss the way her mother's eyes narrowed though. "Her locker." She stated, tone flat. "A locker which I assume much like yours has a padlock keeping your items safe at school whilst you're not there?"
It was at that moment Madison remembered just what she was wearing and exactly what she had thoughtlessly dumped in her pocket earlier that morning.
Without saying anything she reached into the pocket of her hoodie, pulling out both the body of the padlock and the twisted broken remains of the shackle, placing them down on the table where they settled with an audible thunk.
Her mother sighed.
"Madison why do you have the remains of a padlock in your pocket? A padlock that I am rather certain is not yours?"
"The flute was in Emma's locker?" She replied tentatively, not sure why her answer had come out as more of a question to her own ears.
"No Madison, believe it or not I gathered that much. What I'm asking is why you thought it was a good idea to bring home the one thing connecting you to your criminal act?" Her mother's gaze somehow narrowed further. "This is the only thing isn't it?"
"Um, well, outside of the flute I did accidentally take her gym bag as well?"
Her mother just put a hand to her face, taking a deep breath which was then released in an equally deep sigh as Madison sat there, not quite sure if she was being scolded and feeling very confused and uncomfortable regardless.
"Go and get it and bring it down and anything else you took. Tell me you were at least wearing gloves?"
Madison rapidly nodded in lieu of incriminating herself further. She didn't think her mother would appreciate her mentioning that she had only been wearing gloves because it was cold out and leaving fingerprints had been the last thing on her mind. Idly she wondered if her power had just assumed she was competent enough to wear gloves without it needing to be pointed out - Or if it knew she would be wearing them for entirely the wrong reasons and didn't feel the need to add it to her quest objectives because of that.
Madison decided not to follow that train of thought any further.
"Good now shoo, go and get the bag and bring it down here."
Madison didn't need to be told twice, bolting back to her room and opening her Inventory the moment the bedroom door was shut behind her, retrieving Emma's gym bag to land awkwardly in her open palm where it almost rolled off onto the floor before she caught it in a fumbling grab.
When she got back downstairs she was surprised to see the padlock, or what was left of it at least had disappeared, her mother standing by the counter, a mess of groceries in front of her that she was slowly starting to put away. Without a word she paused in what she was doing, gesturing Madison over with her hand held out expectantly and Madison guiltily passed over the gym bag to her.
She hadn't been sure what her mother had wanted it for, a little too frazzled to make anything resembling an educated guess. Though Madison could confidently state she hadn't been expecting her mother to simply open the bin, drop Emma's bag into it and then return to putting away groceries as if nothing unusual had happened at all.
"Um," Madison began in a tone she felt she was using far too frequently that afternoon.
"Obviously I'm not happy you broke into the school Madison, but I'm not having you get in trouble for choosing to do the right thing. I'll empty the bin after we've eaten later so you don't worry about that."
She hadn't been worrying about that! Though she was a little worried about how the conversation felt like it had taken a left turn at some point and she'd missed just when the switch had occurred.
"You're not mad..?"
Her mother returned a look that told her just how stupid that question was. "Maddie I'm furious for a number of reasons right now, not least of which is that you didn't tell me what was going on at your school."
She nodded dumbly as her mother seemed to reconsider continuing to put things away, walking back around the counter to where she stood.
"I'm angry because I feel like I can understand that when you clearly got it in your head to do something about the problem, rather than talking to me or your father, your first thought was to sneak out of the house and break into another girl's locker in an effort to put things right."
"I... Don't understand?"
Her mother offered her a sympathetic look as her hands reached out gently, taking Madison's hands and cupping them warmly between her own.
"Madison, what happened with Emily after we spoke to the school about the bullying?"
She froze at the unexpected question, pulling at memories she'd long since tried to forget. "She, they apologised?"
Her mother rolled her eyes and for a moment Madison thought she'd said something wrong. "That little witch and her mother didn't even look you in the eye. She said sorry, the school said sorry and we both know none of them mean a word of it. Frankly if it hadn't been so close to the end of the year and we hadn't already been set with the move afterwards I would have pulled you out of the school there and then."
"Oh." After her parents had talked to the school things hadn't really been better as much as she was suddenly alone for lack of a better word. A pariah in all but name that couldn't be attacked right then, but could be very much ignored and isolated from everyone else as the school year wound to a close.
"That's why as much as I hate it, I understand why you would have thought to take things into your own hands like that. I assume the flute is upstairs too and you have a plan for how you're going to give it back to this girl, especially so the other girls you've mentioned can't simply take it off her again?"
"Ah, I already gave it to her" she quickly replied to her mom's obvious surprise. "I went to her house afterwards and apologised and gave it back then."
"Really?" Her mom smiled for what felt like the first time in their conversation so far. "I'm proud of you Madison, how did she take your apology?"
"She listened, which is more than I was hoping for honestly."
Her mom's smile deepened and she pulled her forward into a warm hug. "She sounds like a very mature young woman," her mom continued. "Was she as calm and collected as you're making her sound?"
Madison couldn't help but let out a giggle to her mom's bemusement. "Oh no she shouted at me a whole lot, she's actually kind of terrifying when she gets mad, but it was totally worth it and it's not like I didn't deserve it either."
"Ah," her mom said simply as she released her again, looking down at her with a faintly amused look. "Should I be expecting a call from an angry father tonight then?"
"I... Don't think so?" Madison hedged, "if she told her dad about the bullying before it didn't do anything and I think she's used to having no one she can rely on. That's why I had to get the flute back and I'm going to stick up for in school from tomorrow too."
"Well I'm certainly glad to hear you're not planning to go off and commit any more crimes instead of pretending to go to school tomorrow."
"Ehehe..." Madison chuckled lamely, both of them very much aware how light her current scolding would seem if she dared for a repeat performance.
Her mom looked away for a moment, obviously collecting her thoughts and Madison was happy to let her. It felt like a massive burden had been pushed off her shoulders and even if she was dreading the inevitable talk with her dad too, it was enough to know her mom still wanted her despite all the things she'd done and she'd take whatever punishments they felt were appropriate after everything that had happened.
Following what had felt like a couple of minutes, but was probably only a few seconds her mom looked back to her, taking her hands again and giving them a gentle squeeze as she spoke. "I can't say I'm happy that things got this far without you telling us and I will be talking to your father about this." She started, her tone hard, but not nearly as hard as Madison knew it could have been. "But at the end of the day, whilst it took you far, far too long you chose to do the right thing for the right reasons, even if the way you decided to go about it is probably going to give your father nightmares for the foreseeable future. You took the time and the effort to apologise to this girl in person and you returned something that was obviously very important to her."
"I'm going to trust you Madison, the same way I hope you're going to trust me and your father going forwards. That you know exactly what you did wrong and that you know this girl well enough to make things right. If her father does call me I won't lie to him and we'll see what his daughter thinks is an appropriate punishment if it does come to that. But I can see there's no real point in taking any other action ourselves currently, whether that's speaking to the school or the parents of the other girls when it's clear that will likely only serve to undo everything you're trying to accomplish."
Her mother's gaze was a complicated one, a frown hiding whatever she might have been thinking from Madison's own searching look as she continued to speak with every measured word.
"But you're still going to be punished and I'm sure I don't need to explain why. You are going to be grounded for a month, no games or TV. I'd like to confiscate your phone too, but I'd prefer you have some way of communicating with us if you need to, especially at the moment. Now, what are you going to do about these girls, the ringleaders?"
"Do?" She parroted back uncomprehendingly, taking the punishments without a second thought even as her eyes threatened to water again at the trust her mom was putting in her despite everything she'd said.
"If they keep bullying this girl, if they start bullying you now Madison."
"I already told Taylor I'm going to stand up for her!" She protested, feeling like she was being accused of something even if she didn't know what.
Her mother nodded sharply, "and I'd expect nothing less. And if they target you now as well?"
Madison paused, a little confused by the question. "...Tell you? Like last time? If it gets too bad?" She hedged, not quite sure what her mother was aiming for.
"Good," her mother nodded, "Winslow didn't always used to be this way, it was actually one of the better schools in the area once upon a time. But if the current administration is going to allow this level of bullying, not to mention allow you of all people to break into the school and get away with it-"
"Hey!"
"-then I'm not sure how much good speaking to the Principal will actually do at this point. But if it does escalate then we are here for you and don't you forget that. I know your grades aren't good enough for a transfer to Arcadia unless by some miracle there's another new Ward short enough to slip you through in the transfer lottery, but there are always other options okay?"
Madison nodded, annoyed that she could feel tears threatening at the corners of her eyes again and decided to just bury herself in another hug which her mom warmly returned. Arms slipped around her, hugging her close and she squeezed back, just existing in the moment where she knew unequivocally that despite everything she was still loved. That her parents would look out for her and support her as she tried to be a daughter they could finally be proud of. "Thanks mom, love you."
She heard her mom sigh again, but this time it was a fond exasperated thing and she welcomed it as she squeezed her mom back a little tighter. "I love you too Maddie."