Disclaimer: I don't own any Marvel characters seen, mentioned or used.
The flight back to New York was dead silent.
Peter hadn't uttered a word since he left Emma's room, and Logan's instincts told him that for the time being, it was best to leave the man to his own thoughts.
'He'll talk when he's ready… probably.' Logan thought as he flew the Quin Jet across the U.S.
Out of the corner of his eye he could see someone was trying to call the jet, and the feral Mutant Avenger was willing to be bet it was a certain boy scout by the name of Rogers. Logan hit 'decline' before he settled back in the pilot seat and watched the first bit of light rising over the horizon. He'd deal with Rogers when they get back, and by deal with him he'll blow him off and head back to the school until the next big 'Avengers Level' thing pops off.
'Been away from the school too long anyway. Damn Bamfs probably got into my liquor cabinet again.' Logan thought with an annoyed scowl before the sound of metal groaning caught his attention.
Logan looked over to see that Peter's grip on the arm rest of his seat had tightened to the point his fingers had begun to dig into the metal underneath. His gaze was staring straight ahead, but his suit's lenses looked almost black with now much the white part had been narrowed to. The Mutant could also see the tension in Peter's body, like he was one off comment away from putting his head through something.
'If I had any doubt he talked to Emma, this'll put that to rest.' Logan thought.
Emma always had a way of bringing out the worst in people.
Thankfully nothing else happened for the remainder of the flight, which passed far too slow in either Avengers opinion. When Logan began to bring the jet in for a landing, Peter had already rose from his seat and made his way to the back and began to manually input the opening sequence for the ramp.
'Someone's impatient to get out of here. Probably wants to go find some poor bastard to beat to a bloody pulp to help himself feel better.' Logan thought with an amused snort as he got up from his seat and made his way to the back of the jet just as the hatch opened and the jet's ramp began to lower towards the ground.
And there, standing just beyond the landing pad, stood a certain red, white and blue clad hero with a certain red, white and blue colored shield on his back.
Steve Rogers, Captain America… and he didn't look amused.
"Spider-man, Wolverine…" Steve said as he saw the two heroes descend from the jet.
"Rogers." Logan nodded towards the Avengers team leader.
Peter remained quiet, his mind still on the conversation he had with Emma. Steve seemed to notice the wall crawler's unusual silence and went to say something but a slight shake of Logan's head and a flicker of his eyes towards Peter stopped him. The veteran Avenger frowned for a moment before he replied with a minuscule nod of his own and simply stepped aside and allowed Peter to walk past him.
"Dare I ask where you two've been?" Steve said once Logan was closer, and Peter was back inside the Mansion.
"Went to go see someone about something, mouthy little twerp didn't like what he got from it. Don't push him, he's not in the mood." Logan sighed as he ran a hand across his face "He'll bounce back, just needs to process some things is all."
"Will it affect his performance in the field?" Steve asked, concerned.
The loss of Peter's spider sense had already a noticeable effect on the wall crawler's performance while on missions. He's been meaning to talk to him about it, but considering what happened recently, with Marla Jameson's death, and Peter retreating into himself, Steve's been tip toeing around the inevitable conversation.
"Might, might not, who knows with him?" Logan shrugged before making his way past the First Avenger "I'm heading out, let me know if you need someone or something dead or wishing they were."
Steve hummed as he watched Logan go before looking back at the Quin Jet and sighed in resignation as he began to make his way towards the advance craft.
Looks like he's refilling it this morning.
…
The days passed quickly for Peter, or at least by the time he started to pay attention to anything.
His anger from his and Emma's conversation had cooled into a sort of cold bitterness. Emma had, unsurprisingly, refused to remove the barriers she left in his mind or even explain why they were there in the first place or who the hell Sophia Sanduval was in the first place.
But what really got to Peter was the fact that his and Emma's entire conversation felt… repetitive.
The questions he asked, Emma's evasive answers, it left him with a feeling of Déjà vu. It felt like… it felt like Peter has had this conversation with her before. Even before she responded to any question he asked, somehow, Peter just knew what the response was going to be before she even said anything. The expression she had on her face, the look of irritation she was showing, he first thought it was because she was being woken up in the middle of the night and had to entertain his twenty questions in a sheer robe and underwear.
But as the conversation between them went on, it finally clicked all of a sudden and he realized with horror, she wasn't upset for being woken up…
She was upset because he came back demanding answers, again.
That sudden realization left him horrified and asking himself just how many times he had confronted Emma… and how many times she wiped his memory of the event.
He could only assume the reason she hadn't this time around was because Logan and Psylocke were both outside her door and aware, even if partially, of what was going on.
That led him to slamming his fist into Emma's wall in anger, leaving a fist sized hole for her to explain to Scott when he got back from… wherever. Once that immediate need for violence had passed, Peter realized he'd get nothing out of Emma, so he left.
Logan didn't press and for that he was thankful.
Once they returned to New York, Peter made his way home and fell into a restless sleep that only left his dark mood even worse when he woke up later that afternoon. He tried to distract himself, to do what he used to do whenever knowledge of the mental blocks came to the forefront of his mind, be it his work at Horizon Labs or being Spider-man. But it seemed that whatever damage was done to them had caused that one stray memory, or thought, to continue leaking out into the rest of his mind whenever things were quiet, the same thing would start repeating in his head.
Sophia.
Sophia.
Sophia.
Sometimes the name brought a sense of comfort to him, other times, sadness.
And it certainly started to affect his relationship with his girlfriend, Carlie Cooper.
"Pete, is something wrong?"
"Hmm?" Peter looked up from his bowl of… stew? Soup? To see Carlie looking at him with a look of mild concern.
"You've been staring at your chicken stew for the past three minutes." Carlie said with a frown as she set her spoon down on a napkin and pushed her own bowl of chicken stew to the side so she could give Peter her full attention "Like, I get it, your super-hot and you like to look at your own reflection and all, but really? A reflection in your stew? That's just sad."
Peter smiled sheepishly at this "Well, it was either the stew, or the sweet tea and frankly, the tea's color doesn't do wonders for my image."
Also, he's never been a fan of tea.
Like, at all.
Which is funny since every girl he's ever dated in the past loved it; Mary Jane liked green tea when they dated, Felicia liked black tea, Earl Grey to be specific. Betty has gotten into Oolong Tea last he heard, Carlie likes sweet tea, and Sophia liked this one brand of British tea that she could never find enough of-
'Damnit, not again.' Peter thought with a wince as he felt a brief spike of pain in his head before it quickly subsided.
That sorta thing has been happening a lot more lately, these random bits would suddenly appear in his head before a headache began. Peter was pretty sure that either more cracks were starting to form in those mental blocks, or the crack that's there is growing, and more information is slowly pouring out. He wasn't sure what will happen when this crack grows too much, or too many appear, but he's pretty sure it'll be painful as months' worth of memory flood into his brain and throw his already delicate mental state into further disarray.
"Is it work?" Carlie asked.
"Nah, just… just have a lot on my mind lately." Peter said with a sheepish shrug.
"There's always something on your mind." Carlie snorted at this "What is it? Maybe I can help?"
"It's just some stuff that I've sorta been trying to ignore for a while now. Keeps cropping back up." Peter answered as he looked down at his stew and used his spoon to idly push around the bits of meat and vegetables within the broth.
"So let me help." Carlie said as she scooted her chair around the small table until she was next to Peter and placed her hand on his "Two heads are better than one after all."
Peter blinked at this and turned to see Carlie, but instead of his girlfriend, he saw a young, dark-haired girl, somewhere between the ages of fifteen and eighteen, looking at him with an earnest expression. He also saw that they weren't in his apartment anymore, instead it looked like they were in Riverside Park, over on the Upper West Side.
"Two heads are better than then one after all." The girl… no, Sophia, said with a grin as she kneeled towards the ground and extended her arm out.
Before Peter could say anything, a small squirrel suddenly ran down from the tree the two were standing next to and scurried up Sophia's shoulder and began.
"Or in this case, three heads. Isn't that right mister… Loves Almonds Under The Bridge?" Sophia said as she looked at the chittering squirrel with a raised brow "Huh, you got the most normal sounding name I've ever heard from a squirrel-"
"Peter!"
"H-Huh?" Peter blinked and found himself sitting at his apartment's small table, with Carlie looking at him with a frown "Sorry, uh, mind was elsewhere-"
"Yeah, I saw." Carlie said as she closed her eyes and let out a quick exhale through her nose as she removed her hand from Peter's and sat back in h3r chair "Look, Pete, I get you wanna handle… whatever it is that's bothering you on your own, because you seem to be under the impression you can despite whatever it is bothering you for days now, I just-"
*VRRRR!*
*VRRRR!*
*VRRRR!*
"Dammit." Carlie hissed as she leaped to her feet and went to her purse to see who was calling her.
Peter sighed in relief as she glanced back down at his stew and suddenly found it to be very unappealing and pushed it away.
"Work?" Peter asked as he stood up from the table and began to collect his and Carlie's bowls and take them to the sink.
Carlie held a finger up as she was listening to whoever was calling her. Peter busied himself by cleaning out the bowls and setting them in the dishwasher before leaning against the counter and watched as Carlie ended the call and began to make her way around the apartment and collect her coat and shoes.
"Body was just fished out of the Hudson." Carlie said as she hopped on one foot to slide her foot into her shoe before doing the same with the next "Sorry."
"It's fine." Peter said with an understanding look "Duty calls."
And at the right time it seems too.
"I'll call you tomorrow, kay?" Carlie said as she threw her coat on and gave Peter a quick peck on the cheek before all but running out the door before he could reply.
"Kay…" Peter said, staring at the door his girlfriend left open for a moment before moving to close it himself.
Since Carlie was gone for the night, he was no longer hungry, and his headache was slowly coming back from that… memory? Hallucination? Peter figured he might as well be productive and suit up.
Twenty minutes later Peter was swinging over Park Avenue, the cool air somewhat helping with his headache. It was still a little nerve whacking to be swinging without his spider-sense, he couldn't just go into 'autopilot' like he used to, now he had to actively monitor what he was shooting a web line to and what was around him as he swung through the city. Honestly, if he didn't love web swinging as much as he did, he might've very well stopped until he either found a way to regain his spider sense or come up with some sort of alternative that would allow him to safely swing hundreds of feet in the air.
"But then I'll need to make sure it can't be damaged or won't fail while I'm mid-swing and be back at square one." Peter sighed as he launched himself into the air, flying over a high rise before shooting another web line.
Peter yelped as he felt his web line give as the ledge he attached it to had a unseen sliver of concrete that was torn off from the sudden weight of his body and took the web line with it. The wall crawler found himself falling several stories before he shot another line out and used it to swing safely into the side of a apartment complex.
"Okay… this is starting to suck." Peter sighed as he climbed up the rooftop and sat on the ledge with a huff.
It seemed the universe was intent on making his day extra miserable.
"Next time someone is trying to put the Infinity Gauntlet back together, I'm using it to fix my luck." Peter said as he looked down at the city and watched New York's ever flowing traffic pass him by.
He wasn't sure how long he was sitting there, watching the near constant stream of taxis drive by, but by the time distant gunfire reached his ears and he looked up, his neck made a very distinct 'crack' sound that left him wincing. With a groan, Peter sprung to his feet, pinpointed the gunshots with his hearing and, with some trial and error, quickly swung towards the alley they shots were originating from.
"Let's see, it's a Thursday, so that means it's either a gang shootout, or a drug deal gone bad. Those always happen on Thursdays." Peter mused as he landed on a rooftop that overlooked the alley where three more gunshots, and screams, could be heard.
Looking down Peter was greeted the sight of what was indeed a drug deal gone wrong… because someone had invited themselves to it and started dropping bad guys left and right.
"Black Cat?" Peter said, surprised to see the black clad woman tearing her way through the wannabe drug dealers ands their buyers.
He hadn't seen or heard from her since the fight with the Hobgoblin a few weeks prior.
"Wonder where she's been…" Peter said to himself as he watched the fight for a moment, taking note of where all of the remaining criminals were that Felicia hadn't dealt with, then leaped into action.
He landed behind the first thug and lifted him into the air, causing the man to shout in surprise before Pete threw him into the graffiti-stained wall and stuck him there with a hefty blanket of webbing. Not bothering to make a witty retort, without his spider sense he'll have to really give his fights all of his attention, Peter struck down the next dealer with a well-aimed punch to his gut. The force of the blow knocked the wind out of the man and as he slumped to the ground, cradling his hurting stomach, Peter turned and fired several web bullets towards a trio of thugs that realized he was there and were lining up their guns to shoot him with.
"Spider, I was wondering if I'd run into you tonight!" Felicia yelled with a laugh as she brought her heel down on a buyer's sternum, causing the man to let out a pained sort of squeak that Peter could feel himself.
"Ye-" Peter began before he saw out of the corner of his eye one of the criminals that Felicia had already beaten down earlier was shakily raising a pistol towards him.
In a blur, Peter was on the man and knocking him out with a quick jab to the side of his face before leaving the unconscious goon stuck to the floor with some webbing.
With his arrival, the remaining drug dealers and buyers were dealt with easily enough. Peter didn't seen any recognizable clothing or symbols to hint they were a part of someone's group, so at the very least Peter could rest knowing that this wasn't the start of some headache he wasn't in the mood for.
"You seem kinda quiet Spider, everything good?" Felicias asked as she sent a palm strike into the chin of a gun man with enough force to make an audible 'crack' sound before Felicia kicked his feet out from under him.
"Just focusing." Peter said as he caught a punch aimed at his face and used the man's momentum to flip him over his shoulder and into the ground.
Before he could web him down, Peter received a blow to the back of the head from… well he wasn't sure what it was, but it felt like metal, it hurt, and it was repeatedly hitting him in the back of the head still. Felicia's voice, yell really, could be heard over the sounds of Peer's head making contact with whatever he was being hit with before it stopped just as quickly. With a pained hiss, Peter gingerly touched the back of his head as he looked back to see who or what was hitting him and why they stopped.
He was greeted to the sight of Felicia, wielding a metal briefcase that undoubtedly held drugs or money in it, and was being used to cave his skull in, now being used to break a man's face.
"Yeah, get'm, Cat…" Peter slurred as he pushed himself to his feet, his head spinning and hurting.
He found himself leaning against the wall, doing his best to ignore the throbbing pain in the back of his head when Felicia was suddenly next to him.
"You alright?" she asked as she careful took Peter's head into her hands and turned it slightly so she could see the area he was being hit.
"Yeah, just… just starting to seriously consider getting a helmet." Peter winced when he felt one of Felicia's fingers lightly brush where a bruise would or is forming currently "Gimme a sec…"
"Wait here." Felicia said as she turned to meet the last of the criminals, she came across tonight.
"Kay." Peter said as he watched Felicia charge towards the remaining thugs with a look of rage on her face.
Peter couldn't help but wince as Felicia delivered an uncalled for and rather vicious kick to the head of the now unconscious man who was trying bash Peter's brains all over the ground.
'Forgot how vindictive she could be.' Peter thought with another pained wince.
Tomorrow, when he's at work, he'll think of something to compensate for his lack of spider-sense. Because what just happened was way too close for his liking, and that was just some run of the mill street punk. He didn't want to imagine what would've happened if it was someone from the Hand, or Hydra, or one of the many, many bad guys Peter has to deal with on a regular basis.
'Okay, first thing in the morning, start thinking up something to compensate for the loss of my spider sense. Maybe a trip down memory lane to a certain spider-armor…'
"Can I ask a question, if you don't mind, I mean."
Peter blinked and looked to his side to see Sophia, sitting across from him at a table, with a half-eaten lunch on a tan colored food tray one would see at most schools in the Big Apple.
Peter, who found himself about to take a bite out of his apple paused and looked at Sophia with a curious expression "Sure, what's up?"
"Is one of your… powers, super invulnerability?" Sophia asked shyly "Like… like you could tank a literal tank?"
Peter blinked at this before setting his apple down "Uhhh, I mean kinda? The spider bite, when it game me my strength, and the ability to crawl on walls and stuff, seems like it altered my skin's density, the epidermis and dermis layers specifically. Probably to imitate a spider's cuticle, which is essentially it's skin, which itself is composed of protein and chitin. Which, hey, I'll take over having to walk around with an exoskeleton any day. Why?"
"It's just…" Sophia began before she sighed "I just get worried when I see you take a hit from someone. Like, that suit of yours doesn't leave much to the imagination with how thin it is."
"So you've said." Peter said, his face a little red at this.
Sophia and her friend had quite a few words on his choice of skintight spandex for a suit.
"But hey, I'll be fine." Peter said as he reached across the table and took Sophia's hand in his "Cause you know why?"
"Why?" Sophia asked, her face reddening as Peter held her hand and gently rubbed the back of her palm with his thumb.
"I got something a lot of people won't be banking on when they go up against me." Peter said as he tapped the side of his head with a small grin "Long as I got that, ain't no way someone's touching me-"
Peter shook his head, a splitting headache starting to form as he refocused on Felicia. Seeing her though, caused a wave of guilt to wash over him. Part of him always wondered what Felicia thought of the memories she had of him when she saw his face, his real face, now either missing or altered in such a way she'd never be able to tell who it was.
'You can go on and on about how Emma's a bitch for what she did to you, but are you any different?' Peter thought to himself 'Emma had the courtesy to completely erase any and all memory of whoever Sophia was until now. But Felicia? Johnny? Reed? Sue? Ben? They didn't completely forget who he was, they remembered Spider-man, but not Peter Parker.'
The fantastic Four didn't remember the first dinner they ever had with Peter, Mary Jane and Aunt May. The times that Ben, Peter and Johnny would stop by Aunt May's for cookies after Poker Night with some of the other heroes, before the Civil War. The Halloween where Peter and Johnny took Franklin trick or treating, the Christmas they shared where Peter and Johnny ended up starting a gingerbread war with himself, Aunt May, Reed and Franklin on one side, and Mary Jane, Sue and Johnny on the other and Ben caught in the crossfire with a giggling Valeria…
The only memories they had were with Spider-man, and the few they had where his face was shown to them, Doctor Strange's spell always warped it in some way, causing them to remember it slightly different from how it happened. Peter vividly remembered the hurt Johnny showed when he saw them next after the spell had been cast and the memories of what they all shared and experienced were taken. Reed, Sue and Ben might've been more reserved or seemingly understanding of what happened, but Peter knew that they were every bit as hurt as Johnny was.
'I wonder if she feels the same.' Peter thought as he watched Felicia drop the last of the drug dealers with a flurry of kicks, punches and a clawed swipe to the face 'If she's upset for what I did.'
It would explain why she seemed a bit more… callous, in some of their interactions. Why she never seemed too bothered by the injuries he'd get, the pain he'd suffer, some of which caused by her actively using her bad luck powers on HIM. Hell, the first time they saw each other after nearly a year, she used her bad luck powers, really need to find a good name for them, to cause a gargoyle he was swinging from to break, while he was carrying someone, both his web shooters to break, and for him to land on the deck of some high-rise apartment and cracked a vertebra.
At the time, he was… sorta happy to see her, and later when they broke into that hotel room for the best sex he's had in a long while up until that point, but that little moment never fully left his mind. The way she was still smiling despite the very real pain he was in. Even later that night when they came across Diablo and he set Peter ON FIRE, she was still… smiling that same smile.
'Maybe that's why I never wanted to try and restart an actual relationship with her.' Peter thought with a frown.
Still, he couldn't exactly fault her for it, especially now knowing what it really feels like to have someone screw around with your memory.
Peter won't ever say he regrets making the world forget who he was, not everyone and their mother needed to know. But his closest friends? His family? Did Peter have the right to just… take all of those memories away? Worse still, did he have any right to keep them in that sorta state, after all he and they've been through?
Peter's gaze flickered down to the suitcase that was used to bash his head in "You know… I deserved that."
"Deserved what, Spider?"
Peter looked up from the suitcase to see Felicia was standing a few feet away, a little farther than she used, looking at him with curiosity.
"Plenty." Peter shrugged as he gestured towards his head "People keep telling me to start wearing a helmet or something, but I keep telling them I'll be fine."
"Whoever they are, sound like smart people." Felicia grinned "Maybe you should start taking what they say to heart."
'Yeah… maybe I should.' Peter thought be he nervously asked "Felicia… can we… can we talk?"
Felicia's grin faltered for a moment, her eyes narrowing in curiosity before she quickly recovered and shrugged "Sure, my place, or the nearest bedroom?"
"Let's… stick to the rooftops." Peter said, his cheeks reddening underneath his mask.
Even if he wanted to… that pain in the back of his head, and the headache from that random Sophia memory were quickly killing any sorta mood he'd be in for that kinda thing.
"Mmm, I can do that." Felicia teased with a flirtatious grin.
Peter nodded at this, doing his best to ignore how… tingly, Felicia's words and looks were making him, and gestured for the jewel thief to follow him up to the rooftops. A quick web swing and grapple hook later, the two masked individuals were standing on a rooftop overlooking Central Park's eastern side, the Metropolitan Museum of Art's rooftop was just barely seen down the street. The scene could almost be considered romantic, with the way the city's lights were glowing in the evening if it wasn't for the dread Felicia was beginning to feel gather in the pit of her stomach.
"All right Spider, you got little ol' me up here, what now?" Felicia asked with a grin, attempting to keep the mood light "Feeling a little stressed and need help, with it?"
The words that came out of her old flame's mouth all but made sure the mood remained heavy.
"I trust you, you know that, right?" Spider-man said as he leaned against and air conditioning unit before sliding down so he was sitting on the ground and looked at her, his pale lenses reflecting a mixture of the light from the nearby park, the lights of some of the buildings around them and Felicia's own surprised expression.
"Uhh, yeah?" Felicia said with a chuckle, that feeling of dread slowly growing "At least you trust me enough to sleep with in random hotel rooms. And rooftops. And the occasional alley. All without a condom mind you."
Felicia said this in an attempt to keep the conversation from delving into deeper, darker territory, something she absolutely did not want.
Her attempts were met with an unsettling silence.
'God, I hate it when he gets like this.' Felicia thought as she began to nervously shift her weight from one foot to the other as Spider-man stared at her before he glanced towards the city's skyline, lost in his thoughts.
"Before I met you, I-… I was… I was in a bad place." He said after some time had passed "I'd lost someone not too long ago, someone I loved. Her dying it… it broke something in me."
Felicia did not like where this was going, not at all.
"At first, I was angry. Angry at myself, angry at N-… at everyone." Peter explained, his eyes misting over as he recalled how he treated everyone back then "But eventually that anger left, mostly. What replaced it was this… I don't really know how to describe it. I felt… I felt empty, if that makes any sense. Like a part of me was gone and I'd never get it back, no matter how hard I tried."
Felicia said nothing about this, her expression looked worried, but Peter could see she was trying to adopt a mask of, maybe not indifference, but patience. He supposed it was a miracle she hadn't ran the moment he started talking, God knows he would've if he were in her shoes.
"I tried to fill that hole that was growing, tried to bury myself in my work, seeing someone new, something, anything to replace what I lost. But nothing ever seemed to work. Oh, I'd feel better for a few days, but after that, that feeling, that… emptiness, it always came back." Peter said, his voice low, broken almost "Eventually I began to think that the feeling would never go away, that'll keep getting worse and worse. So, after a while I just… I just started to stop."
"Stop what?" Felicia asked quietly.
"Trying." Peter answered solemnly "Stop trying to fight, trying to win… to live."
Peter heard a slight hitch in Felicia's breath, but he kept going, if he stopped now, Peter wasn't sure he'd be able to follow through with what he had planned.
He needed to do it; he owed Felicia that.
"I thought… I hoped, that if I died, that pain, that emptiness? It'd all stop, and maybe, if I was lucky… I'd see her again." Peter said with a shuddering breath before taking a moment to keep himself composed before looking up to meet Felicia's eyes "So, imagine my surprise when a Black Cat crossed my path and started to help."
Felicia blinked in surprise at this, her mouth opening to say something, anything, but found no words coming out. Peter couldn't help but grin a little under his mask, he always did enjoy that look of surprise on her face. How her eyes would widen and seemed to almost sparkle in the right light, like gems.
"I know you never meant to and honestly, looking back on it, I didn't even realize you were either." Peter said with a sad chuckle "At first, I was annoyed, mostly because you seemed to be this new up and coming bad guy I'd have to deal with. But after a while, I started to feel… jealous of you."
"You were jealous of me?" Felicia said with confusion "Jealous of what?"
At this, Peter snorted as he gestured towards her "That you were… you. There I was, this bitter, sad, angry guy and there you were, this crazy, wild, carefree person enjoying life to the fullest. I… I wanted that again, to feel that after so long."
He did, with every ounce of his being he wanted to feel that after so long. As much as he wanted it all to end at that point, what he wanted more than anything was to feel happiness again. To be able to wake up and see what the world had to offer him instead of dreading what was to come.
"You… you weren't like anyone else, I thought. When life knocked you down, you didn't just lie there and stew, you got right back up, told life to take a hike and kept on going. Something I forgot how to do for a while by then." Peter admitted.
There were moments before Felicia, where he thought he felt some kind of life returning to him, but those feelings always slipped away. But with Felicia, that feeling stuck with him the longer he was around her. That dark, empty abyss he felt in him seemed to be closing, for the first time in he didn't know how long he wanted to try.
Try to fight.
Try to win.
Try to live.
"And, after a while I started to… well, I think you know what happened next." Peter looked at Felicia with a sheepish expression under his mask "You got me hooked on you. I never felt more alive than when I was with you."
Felicia's face reddened a bit at this, she had heard all sorts of flattery before in the past, but hearing her Spider say these sappy kinda things, it… felt different. She could hear the sincerity in his voice, which made it worse for her because this damn, talkative, sweet, caring and compassionate man was so earnest it made her wonder how someone like him could be like that in this life.
"And well, you know how things panned out for us?" Peter said with a sad smile "I showed you the ugly mug under this mask, you freaked out, eventually kinda, sorta but not really got used to it. At least, I think you did, in the end."
Felicia adverted her gaze at this "I did…"
"But most importantly, you were there for me Fee. Through thick and thin. It wasn't always pretty, and I know there were times you wished you could've bailed, but when it came down to it, you were there for me… even when I didn't deserve it." Peter said as he looked down towards the ground for a moment as he began to steel his resolve for what he was about to do.
"Spider, what are you trying to-" Felicia began before freezing as the man in front of her suddenly reached up and in the blink of an eye, tore his mask off and looked her in the eye with his own.
"Het kitty cat." Peter said with a small smile on his bare face.
Felicia said nothing as she continued to stare at him with wide eyes, leading Peter to feel dread build as he was reminded of what happened the last time he showed his face to her.
"Felicia…?" Peter said after a moment of uncertainty.
"I… I have to go." Felicia said as she suddenly turned and walked briskly to the edge of the rooftop.
Fear, and a sense of hurt, flooded Peter as he stood and went to reach out to her, but the infamous jewel thief had just slipped through his fingers and leaped from the rooftop and shot a grappling hook out, swinging away from the wall crawler before he could do anything else. Peter stared after her with a dejected look on his face before he closed his eyes, squeezed them shut really, to stem the tears that were beginning to build as he slid his mask back on.
"Well… I guess that answers that, then." Peter muttered bitterly to himself.
Just like all of those years ago, Peter jumped the gun with Felicia.
'At least she didn't act horrified and disgusted like last time.' Peter thought as he stepped on to the edge and raised an arm and aimed it towards a nearby skyscraper and fired off a single web line.
With a sigh, Peter stepped off the ledge and allowed gravity to do it's thing, taking him towards the ground before the web line went taught and he began to swing back through the City That Never Sleeps.
…
And done.
Next chapter, The Tormentor...
Answers to reviewers' questions or statements:
Kheno21: Indeed.
superpierce: True.
REX5678: I haven't.
Lilthug: I am.
gontheone: Can't say I ever remember them crossing paths during the Dark Reign. I think you're thinking of Devil's Reign, which only took place a few years ago and deals with the Kingpin as Mayor more or less outlawing heroes in NYC.
Guest: It's, for the most part, based heavily off the 616 Peter Parker with some tweaks to his history when he was a teenager and just started off as Spider-man.
Batman1998: No Red Cat :)
nagiten: Not one of Emma's kids.
Legendarydeagonknight: I've heard it's good, but I've yet to try reading it, mostly because I wanna see how long it'll go on for before Marvel ruins it out of spite.
Badger12: There will be more.
Spawn Hades: It's gonna go places, can't say they'll always be good, but it'll swing through them.