Chapter Six

You Will Live For Me

Saturday morning dawned bright and clear. It was a great day for a wedding.

I stood in the window of my hotel room, drinking strong black coffee and looking out at the view. I'd taken time packing my suitcases and making sure I had everything. I would not be coming back to this suite.

True to her word, Bonnie had sent over a beautifully embossed wedding invitation. It had arrived two days ago. The nuptials had been set down for eleven o'clock in the morning. It was a good time to get married, before the enervating heat of the day set in.

There was also a hand-written note to say Bonnie would send a chauffeured car for me. I was to make sure I had the invitation with me to get back through the gates. Remembering the armed guards and their close scrutiny, I doubled checked the heavy gold envelope was safely in my handbag.

Two days ago, I'd booked a taxi to take me to the airport to fly back home to Santa Fe immediately after the wedding. I hadn't any intention of staying for the reception. I would make my excuses and leave. I doubted they would miss me.

"Blast…" I'd addressed my reflection in the mirror the following morning as I applied my makeup with care and surveyed the result critically.

I could detect no signs that, after Devon drove away, I'd spent the night crying in my room before falling into an exhausted sleep. It had done me no good beyond giving me a splitting headache. I gave up wallowing in self-pity and got back to the welcome task of framing an outline for my next manuscript.

At least, in my books, Edward Grainger did and said exactly what I needed from him. Nothing more, nothing less. He was a very obedient hero, riding off into the sunset at the end of each novel without a single word of complaint that he never got the girl.

He'd always managed to keep my world on an even keel. Now it was wobbling seriously on its axis as I contemplated the day ahead.

I took a break and phoned Lucy to tell her of my changed plans for settling in LA. And about my intention to return home to New Mexico. I could admit I missed the lovely dry desert air and the long, cold nights. They were made for lovers and… Stop it!

Of course, my lovely daughter supported me in everything I did. "Hey, Mum. Don't worry. It'll all sort itself out. You just make sure you look after number one. That's an order. Don't make me come home."

I smiled and agreed. I did not mention meeting Devon. Lucy was inclined to mother me if she thought I was upset in any way. I'd stayed with her for a few weeks after the divorce and been thoroughly spoiled. My children had taken my side in the divorce. Not that I asked them to. They were all old enough to make up their own minds.

Now my girl was living in Paris for the summer, teaching art at the Sorbonne. Of course, she spoke fluent French and several other languages. She was my daughter, after all and very creative. My heart was lighter by the time I ended the telephone call.

And then, a bolt from the blue. All my careful planning had come before I'd received a mysterious note from Devon yesterday.

I'd just returned to the hotel after indulging in some much-needed retail therapy and buying myself a very expensive wedding outfit from an exclusive boutique on Rodeo Drive. I knew my purchase suited me admirably and would give Devon a very good look at what he was going to be missing in the long, lonely nights ahead if he chose to keep his distance.

I recognised the handwriting on the envelope as soon as the receptionist handed it to me. Devon used to leave me little love notes and poetry quotations all over our tiny London apartment for me to find.

'The voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses…' I especially loved that one. Devon often said he could drown in my eyes. I told him that was silly. What I wouldn't give to hear him say it again now. 'Stop it!'

Those notes had been another nail in the coffin of our working relationship when our masters found out. We were not keeping a 'professional distance,' they said. Devon had tried to argue it was a very small apartment.

I smiled sadly at this new note, wondering if I should open it. I tried to see what it said through the expensive envelope. I'd made the break from my past - and him - cleanly and irrevocably when I had stepped away from Kitt. I kept telling myself I was going home to New Mexico. There was nothing here for me, not now. I bit down on the sudden quivering of my bottom lip, knowing it was a total lie. I wasn't going anywhere.

Of course, Schrödinger's cat came back into my mind, then. It seemed the contrary man had pushed the cat into a whole new box and dared me to open it. "Blast…" I said softly.

"Is there anything wrong, Mrs Bridges?" the young receptionist asked anxiously, seeing the signs of my distress. "Are you all right? Is it bad news?" She reached for a box of tissues expectantly.

"No…" I inhaled deeply, shaking my head. "Thank you, I'm fine."

Of course, I wasn't. I turned and headed for the elevators. I would open the note in the privacy of my room.

I sat down in the sunshine at the living room table. I turned the envelope over and over in my hands before I finally summoned up the courage to open it.

He had written a single line on a very old piece of paper that had been torn from some dog-eared notebook. Just like the ones he used to leave for me. 'Wait for me…' it said. 'Please don't leave me here, alone in the dark…'

"Blast, blast and double blast…" I muttered, my sorrowing heart bursting with fresh desire.

Then there was a letter written on the same expensive paper as the envelope. He said he'd been called away on very urgent business otherwise he would have come to see me in person. He begged for me wait for him after the wedding. He had something very important he wished to say to me.

"Oh, Devon. If you ask me, I will say yes…" I got up as if I was walking in a dream.

In a way I was. But I didn't want to wake up. We were finally going to have that long overdue talk. I had so much I needed to say and he needed to hear. I would find the courage to finally tell him.

I gathered my things and telephoned for a porter. I took the elevator down to the lobby and checked out. I asked them to take care of my luggage until I returned later in day. They were happy to oblige.

"Good morning, Mrs Bridges…" Malcolm, the doorman touched two fingers respectfully to the brim of his cap as I left the hotel. "Are you being met or do you wish me to call you a cab?"

His dark eyes ran over my elegant outfit with masculine appreciation. I knew suited me very well. His thoughtful regard lifted my spirits.

"Thank you. But I was told a car is being sent for me," I replied, looking up and down the street. Just then a black limousine pulled smoothly out of the line of traffic and cruised up to park in front of me.

A uniformed chauffeur got out from behind the wheel and walked around the vehicle to open the back passenger door. "Mrs Bridges…" He saluted me and waited patiently.

"I think this is for you," Malcolm said with a smile. He leaned a little closer. "Though for my money, I prefer the Trans Am. That looked to be one very sweet ride."

He stepped back, reassuming his formal public expression. "Make sure you have a very nice day, Ma'am."

"Thank you, I will…" I replied, smiling as I walked to the limousine and got in.

The door shut behind me, cocooning me in the hushed silence of the interior. The driver got in behind the wheel and started the engine. He glanced at me in the rear vision mirror. "If you wish for anything to eat or drink, Mrs Bridges, the bar back there is fully stocked. Please help yourself."

"Thank you…" I stared at the back of his head as he eased the car back into the line of traffic.

I didn't feel like anything to eat or drink. I wanted to reach our destination without delay. I was eager to see Devon again.

We drove in silence, all the way out to the headquarters of FLAG. We were waved through the gates and quickly scrutinised. I was asked to present my invitation before it was returned. There was a brief conversation with my driver before we were moved on, to make way for the next car in the line of attendees for the wedding.

We climbed the hill to the wide front courtyard to find it filling up with cars. My driver got out and opened my door for me, handing me out. Again he touched two fingers to the brim of his cap before he got back into his vehicle and drove away.

Immediately, a white-coated attendant appeared at my elbow, asking again for my invitation. I pulled it from my handbag and the man scrutinised it, comparing it to a clipboard he held.

"Thank you, Mrs Bridges," he said formally, keeping the invitation. "If you would care to follow me. I will see you to your seat."

"Thank you," I replied, at a loss of what else to say.

There was no sign of Devon anywhere. But then I knew I shouldn't really expect him to be able to make time for me on such an important day. I curbed my rising sense of impatience.

I couldn't prevent a sympathetic smile as we walked past Kitt parked at the side of the driveway. He had been decorated with a JUST MARRIED sign sprayed in foaming cream across his rear window and a cupid's heart shot through with an arrow. Two strings of tin cans and old shoes had been tied to his back bumper and trailed behind him.

"Good morning, Mrs Bridges…" he muttered, obviously seeing me walk past. "I am very pleased to see you again. I know Devon has been expecting your return. I am truly sorry you are not seeing me at my best. What they have done to me is deeply embarrassing. I am a well-oiled, state-of-the-art, one-of-a-kind machine. Not some confounded freak show!"

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Kitt," I replied sincerely. I did feel for him. "But there's nothing I can do to help you."

It no longer seemed odd to me that I was talking to a car. I touched the wing mirror in sympathy as I passed, then quickened my steps to catch up to my guide who had not waited for me.

This time we went around the house, following a long rambling path that passed between gardens of bright summer annuals and tall shrubs. There was a babbling brook, small waterfalls and ponds full of darting fish of all sizes and shapes. The magical wonderland then gave way to a large stone-flagged area leading down to the same long green oblong of immaculate lawn where the earlier rehearsal had been held.

Now it had been set with rows of white chairs on either side of a central walkway where a long white carpet had been laid over the grass. Long ribbons and bows of white silk linked everything together with bouquets of pink flowers.

At the far end of the aisle, the young minister from the rehearsal was standing nervously in front of a large floral wedding bower. He clutched his bible but this time he wasn't checking his watch. Everything appeared to be running on time.

"Here you are…" My attendant conducted me to a chair at the inner end of the back row of seating and left me there as he hurried back to his duties.

I was comfortable with being so close to the rear exit. It offered me the chance to look around without being closely observed. I couldn't help glancing sideways at the pathway between the twin rows of tall, waving cypress trees. But there was no sleek black Trans Am silently watching the proceedings.

Poor Kitt was doing his duty. I felt strangely bereft of his company. He had tried to reassure me in my distress. I had to remind myself he was just a car.

The birds were singing in the surrounding gardens and a soft breeze blew across the scene. There was a fountain playing with the chuckling sounds of running water. The mingled scents of all the flowers were sweet and heady. It truly was a perfect day to get married. Secretly I envied Stevie her wonderful happiness. And I prayed her future with Michael was all she wished it to be.

I breathed deeply, releasing it slowly as I looked around at the people filling up the vacant seats. I knew no one and no one approached me to make conversation. I could only assume they were all trusted employees of FLAG. I fell back on my old habit of twisting the strap of my handbag between my fingers and then commanded them to be still.

A sudden buzz ran through the assembled audience. I turned in my seat along with everyone else to see Devon, Michael and Reginald walking up to the wide stone steps at the beginning of the grassed area. They were all immaculately dressed in formal tuxedos and my mouth dried. Devon had never looked more magnificent or more desirable.

I wanted to run to him and say I'd forgiven him for Kitt's overstepping his boundaries. I needed to tell him that. And I loved his note. But now was not the time or place for such a personal conversation. I could wait.

I watched him and Michael shake hands as the crowd buzzed and murmured with excitement. He put a hand companionably on the younger man's shoulder, offering him his complete support. Michael looked a little dazed and braced himself visibly.

He looked down the long pathway. "Everything is so perfect…" I heard him say.

"Yes, it is…" Devon nodded as he slapped him on the shoulder. He stepped back and away from his friend, sending him on his way.

At that moment, his gaze encountered mine and he shook his head. But he didn't immediately look away. I could feel the weight of his thoughtful consideration. I knew then he wanted to walk to me. My heart skipped a beat and picked up until I was breathless.

Devon's gaze took in all of me from my newly styled hair to the elegant quality of my outfit. I could feel my cheeks warming beneath the intensity of his narrowed gaze which said he approved. I smiled tentatively. He looked relieved as he nodded.

Michael turned to walk slowly down the central aisle, closely followed by Reginald who couldn't contain his excitement. He grinned in my direction as he passed, but I wasn't sure he was looking at me. The excitement and chatter around me grew steadily with the expectation of the bride's arrival.

Michael and Reginald continued down the walkway until they were standing in front of the minister. He greeted them with a relieved smile and a quiet word.

Then, almost by magic, Stevie appeared with Bonnie behind her as her maid of honour. The bride looked beautiful beneath her veil, smiling radiantly as she walked up to Devon to take his proffered right arm. They stopped walking with Devon watching her to make sure she was all right. Just like an indulgent father. They exchanged a few quiet words.

From somewhere unseen an organ began to play The Bridal Chorus. Devon moved slowly forward with Stevie on his arm. They came walking down the central aisle. Stevie didn't look at anyone. She only had eyes for Michael who was waiting for her.

Devon barely looked right or left, but again his eyes met and tangled with mine as they passed my back row of seats. I could see the query in his. Was I staying or going after the ceremony? I nodded slowly and saw his patent relief.

Then they moved on down the aisle to finally reach Michael's side. The two men turned to join them and face the minister.

"Who gives this bride away?" he asked.

"I do," Devon replied formally.

He turned to Stevie and raised her veil with both hands. She smiled up at him as he stood back to admire the beautiful picture she made in the sunshine. Then he leaned forward and kissed her gently on the lips.

I put my hand to mine, remembering his mouth pressed to mine as we rose together into that place that only true lovers can ever find. I sighed, closing my eyes briefly as my body burned with the memory.

"I forgive you…" I whispered against the press of my fingers. "For everything…"

Devon looked at Michael and nodded as he stepped back from the bride. His part in the ceremony was over.

"Dear family and friends…" the minister began. "We are gathered here to witness the marriage between Michael and Stevie. Michael, do you take Stevie as your wife? To love her, protect her and care for her for the rest of your life?"

"I do," Michael replied.

"Stevie, do you take Michael as your husband, submitting unto him. Showing reverence to him in the union for the rest of your life?"

"I do," Stevie with a wide, happy smile.

The minister turned to Reginald. "May we have the rings?"

The young man grinned as he raised his right hand, pulling at the ring on his little finger. For a moment it refused to budge, earning him a frowning look from Michael. Then the ring came loose and he handed it over with a cheeky smile.

"Take this ring and wear it…" the minister continued as Michael took his bride's hand to place the ring on her finger.

"Take this ring and wear it," he repeated.

"As a token of my love and fidelity toward you," the minister went on.

"As a token of my love and fidelity toward you," Michael repeated quietly.

They smiled at each other before Stevie removed a ring from her finger and took Michael's hand.

"Take this ring and wear it," the minister intoned.

"Take this ring and wear it," Stevie repeated softly, pushing it slowly onto Michael's finger.

The minister nodded. "It is a token of my love and fidelity toward you."

"It is a token of my love and fidelity toward you," Stevie repeated looking at Michael with loving eyes.

They stood holding hands, looking complete and totally in love in the sunlight.

The minister looked from them to the guests. "And now by the authority given unto me, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride."

Michael didn't need any further urging, turning immediately to his new wife to kiss her deeply and thoroughly. They seemed oblivious to everything around them in that moment.

Reginald nodded, looking happy while Devon and Bonnie stood on the sidelines looking on with pride. Their parts were now complete and everything had happened exactly as planned.

As the newly married pair finally drew apart the minister smiled. "I would now like to introduce to you, Mr and Mrs Michael Knight."

Everyone started to clap as the couple turned to the crowd of guests. People began to stand up to press forward with their congratulations. The happy couple took their time walking back up the aisle toward me and I couldn't have been happier for them. They deserved each other and looked so right together.

Suddenly there was a strange banging sound from the back of the gathering. I frowned. It sounded like a door being thrown open against a wall. Something barely remembered from another time prickled up and down my spine. A creeping sense of mortal dread I had not felt in thirty-five years. I just knew some kind of unknown evil had entered this magical scene to create chaos.

I turned to look behind the gathering to see a man standing in a ground floor doorway of the great house behind us. In his hand, he held a gun that was raised and pointed straight at Michael and Devon as they stood close together with Stevie.

"Oh, God, no!" I gasped.

Time seemed to slow to a crawl. The people around me moved, shouted and gesticulated like they were mired in molasses. Everything telescoped down to the barrel of that gun. It was all I could see, that black menace. From somewhere deep inside me old instincts rose up. I glanced back at the wedding party to see Stevie throwing herself in front of Michael while Devon pulled Bonnie down to shelter her with his body.

I knew instinctively that both of them were too far away to take down the gunman before he fired. Reginald was crouched, getting ready to make a run at him. I knew he would fail before he got halfway up the aisle and be shot down. They would all fail to reach the intruder in time. They were exposed and in grave danger of being fatally shot as the gunman adjusted his stance, preparing to fire.

"No!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, trying to distract his attention.

I threw myself sideways into the direct line of fire as two shots rang out and people began to scream, running in all directions to escape as time and pain caught up and slammed into me.

Something hit me hard in both my chest and side, tearing away every ounce of my breath and leaving nothing behind but blinding agony. The screaming seemed to go on and on as I fell slowly toward the grass.

I felt hands grabbing at me, trying to ease my fall. I landed awkwardly on the ground and lay there, stunned and in agonising pain. The world went on around me. People running, chasing the gunman. There was the roaring of a vehicle's engine somewhere in the distance, the squeal of tyres and then more shouting.

I wasn't aware of anything else until Devon's face came into focus close above me as I managed to open my eyes a little. I stared up at him, seeing the stark fear in his eyes. I marvelled at it. I had never seen him looking so afraid before. He had always been my rock, my anchor in any storm. I had always relied on him to save me.

"Devon…" I whispered, my tortured breathing seemingly lost somewhere far away. "Remember, we loved…"

"Carolyn, no…" he replied, drawing my aching body up into his embrace. "Don't you dare die on me," he whispered fiercely against my ear. "I won't allow it!"

"You won't allow it…" I spluttered, coughing up blood. "I don't think you have a choice, my love…"

"I want you to fight. I want you to live for me… for us…" he whispered against my hair. "Please…"

"I'll… try…"

My weary spirit wanted to fight back, but my body finally gave out at that point. The pain was too great and it had become impossible to breathe. I felt as if a giant weight had been placed on my chest, slowly crushing the life from me.

But I was where I'd always wanted to be. Back in Devon's arms with his lips pressed against mine. Or, at least, I thought they were his lips. Someone was trying to breathe for me. I tried to tell them not to bother, but I couldn't.

I could feel the life slowly trickling from me into the soft, fragrant grass. All around the birds were still singing and the scent of the roses was incredible.

I heard someone say, "Give it up, Devon. There's no hope for her. She's gone. Someone better call the cops."

"No cops!" someone else snapped. "This is FLAG business! We'll get the bastard and make him pay for this!" It sounded like Michael.

That was the last thing I heard. I didn't want to go, but I could no longer summon the strength to stay. The whole world caved in around me then and I floated away into an abyss of darkness more stygian that the blackest night…

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