It wasn't an easy journey to the border between Nevarra and Tevinter. Nothing too exciting happened, but it was a long one, with a lot of people to organise. Thankfully, Josephine took head on that. She was always so organised. Part of Siara couldn't help but be impressed by her.
Siara hardly spoke on the journey, mostly just lost in her own thoughts. Josephine gave her space, and everyone else travelling with them did the same. Likely more because they were vaguely afraid of The Blade than because they were aware something was wrong. Josephine, though, realised something was up.
She knew about the friendship Siara and Cullen had been forming, and it had been obvious that something had happened to threaten it. But she also knew that pushing The Blade would be a mistake. If her years of being an ambassador had taught her anything, it was when to take things slowly. This was a delicate matter, and if she was going to help fix things then she would have to tread carefully. Making one wrong step would just make things worse.
Siara was hunched over beside the fire, sharpening her blades, when Josephine decided that it was time to have a conversation with her.
"Thank you," she said, "for supporting me back at the Winter Palace about Celene."
Siara looked up at her in surprise, raising an eyebrow.
"I wouldn't say I was exactly supporting you. I just said and did what I thought was right."
"All the same, thank you."
"For showing up Jacquelyn?"
"For saving Celene's life."
"I think in this situation it's basically the same thing," Siara scoffed, looking back at her swords. Josephine watched her closely. The way she moved the whetstone across the edge of the blade was almost graceful. Josephine found it a bit mesmerising, and she couldn't help but just sit there watching in silence for a moment.
"If you hadn't thought that saving Celene would have been better politically, would you still have done it?" she asked eventually. Siara didn't respond immediately, leaning her head to the side slightly as she kept sharpening the blade resting across her lap.
"Hard to say," she admitted. "I'd like to say yes, but truthfully I might not have cared enough. I don't know enough about politics or current events in Orlais. As far as I know, Celene hasn't done anything outright bad. But as far as I know, she hasn't… not?" Siara pulled a face. "Celene is just so far off my radar that unless someone was paying me to do something, I probably would have stayed out of it," she chuckled mirthlessly. "In a strange way, Corypheus saved Celene's life."
The thought didn't put Josephine's mind at ease. It was strange to think that Corypheus was the reason Siara saved anyone's life. But she supposed that her logic made sense. Siara had to make a living, afterall. There wasn't much point in putting her life on the line if she wasn't going to get something out of it.
"If you don't mind me asking," Josephine started, "how long did you know about Anders?"
"What about him?"
"About him being Celene's second advisor."
Siara's hand stopped gliding the whetstone across the edge of the sword and after a moment she set both aside, resting her hands between her knees and regarding Josephine closely.
"You're not going to have me thrown in the cells when we get back to Skyhold if I tell the truth, right?" she asked.
"Your secret is safe with me," Josephine assured her. Siara raised an eyebrow at her.
"This has to be the longest conversation we've ever had," she said, "so please excuse me if I have my reservations about that statement," she sat up a little bit, sighing. "I spotted Anders not long after we got announced at the ball."
Josephine's eyebrows went up.
"That long?"
"Yeah. But I didn't know where he was before that. I didn't really care, to be honest. Hawke and Jacen had told me he was still alive after everything happened at Kirkwall, but they didn't say anything about where he went. And Jacen asked me specifically not to go looking."
"Why would he ask that?"
Siara stayed silent, looking down for a moment. She started idly scratching at her wrist for a moment before she caught herself and picked up her whetstone and the second sword.
"They were in a relationship. And after Anders blew up the Chantry, Jacen wasn't sure what to think. He needed space. I respected that, I still respect that. But now the best thing I can do is keep an eye on Anders."
"Then why did you leave Skyhold? Anders is still there, afterall."
"So many questions. It's almost like you're interrogating me," Siara muttered. "Look, I needed space. I still need space. It's not like Anders doesn't have anyone watching him like a hawk. Morrigan is more than capable of keeping him in line, and if she isn't, then there is an almost literal army of templars there."
"I see," Josephine picked up her board and lit the candle on it from the fire. "Sorry for prying."
Siara grunted. It took a moment for her to speak again.
"Do you really think you can prevent war between Nevarra and Tevinter?" she asked.
"I hope so," Josephine sighed. "We really don't need another war right now. Between the rifts and Corypheus, we don't need more trouble."
"Yeah, land wars when the world is ending seems a little pointless. They could really do with a reality check."
"And that is exactly what I hope to do," Josephine smiled, "but I plan to do it more tactfully than you put it."
Siara chuckled slightly, a small smile flashing across her face before settling back into emotionless concentration.
The meeting was going to occur in a small town situated just near the border. Josephine was keen to get started as soon as possible, but Siara insisted they stop off at the inn first and drop their stuff off. It was also getting late by the time they arrived.
"No one is going to want to talk politics while this tired," she said. "I don't know much about peace brokering, but I do know how cranky people get while tired."
Josephine sighed, agreeing.
They were sharing a room. Originally Josephine had tried to get them separate rooms, but Siara had shot that down. She was, afterall, acting as Josephine's bodyguard. She wouldn't be able to protect Josephine so well if she was in a different room, even just the one across the room.
Neither of them really slept that night, though. Siara pretended to sleep, but Josephine sat up looking over the paperwork. She needed as much information on the people she would be talking to as possible, needed to memorise as much as she could about the politics of the areas.
"Do you ever sleep?" Siara grumbled, her back still to Josephine.
"I'm sorry," the ambassador said, "I'm just… apprehensive of what tomorrow will bring."
"And ambassadoring on a lack of sleep is going to make things better?" Siara rolled over, raising an eyebrow and propping herself up on one arm.
Josephine smiled.
"You have a point," she admitted. "My brain just isn't shutting off. There is so much I need to remember. If I say one thing wrong then Tevinter and Nevarra will start a war over this land."
"Anyone would think this is your first time experiencing politics."
"It's only because this is so important. Think about it, both Nevarra and Tevinter are large political players with equally large armies. A war between them as well as having to fight Corypheus would be disastrous."
"You don't have to sell me on it," Siara flopped back down on her bed. "I'm just trying to tell you in my own very awkward way that you're more than capable of this."
Josephine looked up from her paperwork in mild surprise. Siara didn't seem particularly like she cared, one arm behind her head, eye closed. She looked totally relaxed, but Josephine somehow suspected that there was more going on in her head than it seemed.
"Thank you," was all Josephine said. The Blade would open up if she wanted to.
For a moment there was silence in the room, Josephine staring blankly at the paperwork in front of her.
"I suppose I get it, though."
Josephine looked over to Siara.
"Get what?" she asked.
"Your 'apprehension', as you put it," Siara's eyes were open and she was staring up at the ceiling. "I can't imagine how it feels for you, Leliana, Commander Rutherford, and Jacquelyn. Having so many people look to you and depend on you for guidance."
"'Commander Rutherford'?" Josephine asked. "Since when have you called him 'Commander Rutherford'?"
"Since he became a prick," Siara's voice had an edge as sharp as one of her blades. "A naive prick, but a prick nonetheless."
"Does this have something to do with - "
"Yes, it does, and I'm not talking about it."
Josephine inclined her head slightly.
"Of course, I apologise."
Siara sighed, then sat up. She swung her feet to the floor and leaned forward slightly, looking at the floor for a moment before she looked back to Josephine.
"Sorry for being rude," she said.
"It's all right," Josephine responded. "I didn't mean to pry."
"You noticed something is up. You're an ambassador. This is kinda what you do. But I'm not ready to move on yet, and I don't know when or if I even will be. Like I said, Commander Rutherford is a naive prick."
"He's hardly that naive."
"Name one other thirty year old who is more naive than him," Siara challenged, raising an eyebrow.
"Easy, there's… well… oh, I know! How about…" Josephine frowned, then her eyes lit up triumphantly. "Jim!"
"So close," Siara smiled. "He's in his late twenties."
"Wait, really? I thought he was in his thirties."
"Not yet. He's twenty-eight."
"Do I want to ask how you know that?"
"Drinking game with Bull. We were guessing people's ages," Siara chuckled. "The person closer to the age was safe, the other person had to drink. I had to drink for that one. I guessed he was early twenties just because of his behaviour. Bull guessed late twenties, early thirties. Made me down my drink."
"I see," Josephine couldn't help but smile, then shook her head. "I'm sure whatever Cullen did or said, he didn't mean it."
"Oh, he meant it. Believe me, he meant it."
"Is there something he could do for you two to make up to each other?" Josephine asked after a moment of silence. Siara shrugged.
"At the moment, I don't know. Can I be honest?"
"Of course."
"I don't think things are going to go back to anything near what they were," Siara shrugged. "I've been thinking about it, and I think a professional relationship is about all we can manage now. Anything more than that is… it's going to take a lot."