Jacquelyn was hardly fond of the area of the Fade that they found themselves in. It was dark, it was dreary, and it felt slimy. She especially didn't like their chances of running into demons. The group made their way forward carefully, all too aware that they could run into danger at any moment.
Siara seemed distracted, sneaking glances at Duty. She wasn't doing a very good job at hiding the looks she gave him. It bugged Jacquelyn; she didn't understand exactly what bothered Siara about it so much. Jacen was dead before Jacquelyn had met Siara, and Duty wasn't Jacen. He was a completely different being. If he ever was Jacen, he certainly wasn't any more.
They found their way up a set of stairs. At the top, waiting for them, was someone quite unexpected. Divine Justinia, standing there in her robes as though the Fade was a completely normal place for her to be found.
"That's not possible…" Stroud said, stunned.
"I greet you, Warden. And you, Champion," Divine Justinia spoke gently. She was just as kind now as she was in their world.
"Divine Justinia," Jaquelyn's eyes widened ever so slightly. She wanted more than anything to believe it was her, that the Divine wasn't dead. But she couldn't bring herself to. Now she found herself looking at Jacen. Could it be a similar situation? She frowned.
No. Divine Justinia recognised Hawke and Stroud. She wouldn't if she had lost all her memories.
"Back in Haven, I saw… I thought I saw…" she looked back at the Divine. "How could this be possible? How can you be here? You cannot be like Duty - you remember things."
"I remember things," Duty sounded almost indignant. "I can recognise this man as a Grey Warden, and I know that this man is the Champion of Kirkwall. I also recognise her as The Blade."
"But you don't remember anything personal, do you?" Siara sounded a bit dejected about it, but she was trying to put on a brave face. Duty looked at her with an almost tired expression.
"I am not your brother," he repeated, for what was starting to feel like the hundredth time. "I don't have any memories of The Bow, and I am not him."
Jacquelyn saw Siara's shoulders slump ever so slightly before she righted herself, looking back to the Divine.
"You think my survival impossible, yet here you stand alive in the Fade yourself," Justinia still spoke kindly. From what Leliana and Cassandra had said about the Divine, it didn't surprise Jacquelyn, and it put her somewhat at ease. But the Divine wasn't finished speaking yet, a small, slightly rueful smile on her face.
"In truth, proving my existence either way would require time we do not have."
"Is that so?" Hawke asked, folding his arms. "How hard is it to answer one simple question? I'm a human. What are you?"
"I am here to help you."
"She answers like I do when I don't want to answer," Siara grumbled.
"She wants to help us," the Anders spirit (that Jacquelyn had still not asked the name of) cut in. "I feel we should let her. She has not threatened us."
The Divine seemed to appreciate him speaking for her, though Jacquelyn wished he would have just kept his mouth shut. She wasn't fond of Abominations.
"You do not remember what happened at the Temple of Sacred Ashes, Inquisitor," Justinia said when no one else spoke to challenge 'Anders'.
"I do not," Jacquelyn confirmed.
"The memories you have lost were taken by the demon that serves Corypheus. It is the Nightmare you forget upon waking. It feeds off memories of fear and darkness, growing fat upon the terror. The false Calling that terrified the Wardens into making such grave mistakes? Its work."
"I would gladly avenge the insult this Nightmare dealt my brethren," Stroud growled. Siara looked at him with a raised eyebrow, but didn't say anything. Jacquelyn wasn't too convinced about the outcome of an encounter with the demon, either, but she also stayed silent.
"You will have your chance, brave Warden," Justinia assured him. "This place of darkness is its lair."
"Is this the demon that Erimond was trying to bring through?" Jacquelyn asked.
"Yes."
"Is it nearby?"
"Yes."
Jacquelyn sighed, closing her eyes for a moment as she gathered her thoughts. This was just what she needed. A strong demon nearby, likely controlling this part of the Fade, serving Corypheus. A demon that took her memories.
"When you entered the Fade at Haven, the demon took a part of you. Before you do anything else, you must recover it," Justinia looked to her right as a small green wisp floated through the mist. "These are your memories, Inquisitor."
The wisps morphed into wraiths, and Jacquelyn hurriedly drew her sword, shrugging her shield off her back. She did not quite understand how her memories were demons, but if she must defeat them to regain her memories, and if regaining her memories was the only way out of the Fade, then so be it.
A wall of swirling mist formed upon the destruction of each of the wraiths. Everyone lowered their weapons, Jacquelyn hesitantly stepping towards the wall. She held out her mark, feeling the connection between it and her memories.
Then came the pain. The sharp, intense pain that radiated through her head. She pressed her hand to her forehead and leaned over, doing her best not to cry out in pain as visions played through her mind. She knew they were her memories, but they still felt strangely foreign. She could hear the Divine's call for help, could feel the wood of the door as she burst through it. The adrenaline surge as she saw the Divine hanging in the air, held in place by magic. There were Wardens all around the Divine, seeming to be the ones holding her in place. And there, holding on orb, was Corypheus. It glowed with the same green as Jacquelyn's mark.
Corypheus and the Divine turned to face Jacquelyn when she spoke, demanding to know what was going on. Justinia reached out, swiping away the orb. It rolled towards Jacquelyn, and she dove for it. Jacquelyn remembered how it felt when she grabbed it, remembered the burning pain that shot up through her arm. It felt as though her arm was going to fall off.
The memory came to an abrupt halt as Corypheus charged towards Jacquelyn, and then an explosion came from the orb. Jacquelyn wasn't sure if the explosion was from the orb itself, or from the connection that formed between her and the orb. The mark.
Jacquelyn shook her head, finding herself kneeling on the ground. She looked around, seeing that everyone else was also shaking their heads. Bull looked very put off, and Siara didn't seem too happy either.
"So," Stroud said, "your mark did not come from Andraste. It came from the orb Corypheus used in his ritual."
His words cut like a knife, an overwhelming disappointment flooding through Jacquelyn all over again. She still wanted to believe more than anything that the mark was from Andraste, even though she knew that it was from the orb. She wanted to believe that someone, be it the Maker or Andraste, made sure that Jacquelyn had been there to stop Corypheus' plan. Stroud showing doubt on the matter hurt her, and annoyed her.
"Corypheus intended to rip open the veil, use the Anchor to enter the Fade, and throw open the doors of the Black City," Justinia said. "Not for the Old Gods but for himself. When you disrupted his plan, the orb bestowed its power upon you instead."
"Solas has already told me that the orb is of elven origin," she admitted, motioning to the elf. "I am simply thankful that I got the mark and not Corypheus. I must believe that I was put there for a reason."
"If you believe in the Maker, then you believe He made this world and everything in it, including your accident," Jacquelyn appreciated Justinia's words, but she wasn't finished yet. "You cannot escape the lair of Nightmare until you have regained all that it took from you. You have recovered some of yourself, but now it knows you are here."
"Great," Bull grumbled. "That just makes things even better."
"Everything will be all right," Duty tried to reassure them. "Work together, and you'll all get out of here."
"I don't think he's too concerned about actually getting out of here," Siara muttered, "so much as he doesn't like demons."
"Duty and I will help to protect you," the Anders spirit said.
"And then what?" Hawke looked at him. "You're back in the Fade, Justice. Can't you leave Anders' body? Return to being a spirit?"
"I have tried. It's possible I've been in this body too long to leave it with any ease."
"We can worry about this later," Jacquelyn interrupted. "We should concentrate on moving. If Nightmare knows we are here, it is only a matter of time before it realises where 'here' is."
"You must make haste," Justinia confirmed. "I will prepare the way ahead."