Our heroes return to give a full account to Frithgeir…but things go a little sideways.

I forgot to mention when I posted Chapter 41 that I have reached 100 reviews! My thanks to all of you for taking the time to read my little story and leave a review. To those who are my 'silent readers', I appreciate you as well!

Chapter 42

Once we entered the main hall, I was disappointed to note Nar regressing into his now familiar, addled state. He was speaking to Hervin (who as yet had not been explained) about the roast mutton on the menu for dinner. "It will be quite tender, I promise!" He was carrying his now empty mug of the potion, pretending it was a delicious ale he had discovered.

Frithgeir seemed pleased to find us unharmed, and surprised at Nar's actions against the ice drake, but was sorry to hear that Nar's lucidity did not last as long as they had hoped. "Perhaps the ingredients were not the best quality?" he mused, and I bristled at the accusation.

"Perhaps you are unaware of the danger we put ourselves in to collect them?" I ground out, my teeth clenched as I felt my temper flare.

The dwarf looked startled at my tone, "Ah, of course my lady. I am sure you did the best you could, under the circumstances." I was unsure if he was trying to insult me or if he was being genuine; it sounded condescending to my ears.

Over the centuries, I had prided myself in learning to mask my emotions, and keeping them in check if I could. Only my friends and family were able to see through it, but not always. However, over the past year, things had gotten a bit more challenging. I was quick to cry, or become angry, and let it get the best of me. To be fair, I had changed drastically as a person ever since I left Celondim, and I knew I hadn't had any sort of chance to process it all.

Unfortunately, this was one of those times. "Tell me, Master Frithgeir, when was the last time you had to face an enemy in battle?" He looked at me, dumbfounded. "When was the last time you were barely a hair's breadth from death, and you had to use every skill you possessed to survive?" I was moving towards him slowly, like an animal stalking its prey.

Elladan stepped forward to place a hand on my arm, "Gwin, stop this." I shook him off, not desiring his words of logic. I was in no mood for it.

"When was the last time you had to choose between saving one friend and leaving the other to be injured or die? When was the last time you did anything but sit here and read books?" My voice had grown louder, and no one moved. Frithgeir looked shocked and scared; I knew when I was in a rage, I had been called terrible to behold. Let him fear me.

I gestured around the hall with my arms, "Here you are, safe in your little mountain, while the rest of us do whatever we can to survive and fight the evil which threatens us every day. Do you care nothing for the world?"

"I-I-of course I do," Frithgeir stammered.

"WHERE IS THE PROOF?" I yelled. "Do you think I am foolish, dwarf? Do you think I do not see you are not being truthful with us, that you try to deceive us?" My voice had lowered now, and I was right in front of him, our faces only inches apart. He tried to take a step back, but my hand shot out and clamped like a vice on his shoulder. "We came to you in need of help, and yet you plot behind our backs. Did you hope we would die down there? Perhaps you could get rid of Nar in the process, so he wouldn't be a burden to you?"

Frithgeir grew angry, despite his fear. "Never! Nar is like family to me!" However, his eyes were shifting around, and I could tell he was lying, at least in part.

Something was overtaking me. Some strange anger, and fury, and I was feeling out of control. Yet, I did nothing to try and tame it. Suddenly my knife was in my right hand, and I threw the dwarf against a bookcase, putting it against his throat. "Tell me why I should not kill you for your deception? Hmm? Tell me why you deserve to live when so many others who were honorable and brave have died?" I felt hands grabbing at my shoulders but I somehow had enough strength to throw them off. "YOU ARE A COWARD!"

I felt a sharp prick on my neck and my hand flew to it. A few seconds later I began to feel weak, and knew what had happened. "How…how could you…do this…" I mumbled, feeling my strength leave me. Someone, likely Elladan or Elrohir, was gently lowering me to the ground. My knife slipped from my fingers to clatter against the stone. "I…trus…trusted…" I tried to say, but darkness was taking me, and it all faded to black.

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When I woke, I felt sluggish and groggy, and it took me a moment to ascertain where I was. I slowly sat up, but immediately fell back onto the pillows as a wave of dizziness hit me. My body felt fatigued, like I had run all day long without stopping.

"Hello penneth," a soft voice murmured. I opened my eyes again and looked into the worried grey ones of Elrohir.

"What?" I stammered, finding it difficult to speak.

Elrohir gave me a small smile, but it seemed sad. He brushed some hair from my forehead and replied, "You will feel stronger soon; it takes some time for it to leave the body."

Now even more confused, I tried to piece together what his words meant. What was in my body?

A hazy memory was surfacing. I had been speaking to someone, and I was very angry. What was I angry about? My brow furrowed as I tried to recall more details.

"Do you remember what happened, Gwin?" Elrohir said softly. The more I tried to remember, the sharper the images became.

"Frithgeir the dwarf?" I tried to say, but all that came out was "dwarf". Elrohir seemed to understand what I meant, and he nodded. I took my hand and placed it on my forehead, trying to will myself to recall the missing pieces. "Tell me?" I asked weakly.

Elrohir sighed. "I am not sure if you will like it."

I frowned; what could be so bad that he would be reluctant to say? "Tell me," I repeated, sounding a little stronger.

Pausing a moment to gather his thoughts, Elrohir started to explain, "When we returned from the mine, Frithgeir said something which upset you. Things…got out of hand."

More images began surfacing: I was right in the dwarf's face, and he looked scared. A knife was in my hand; what was I doing with it? I could recall the feelings of…anger? Rage? I was shouting something. A prick on the back of the neck…I reached behind and felt a rough spot that was not there before. My eyes widened, and Elrohir looked at me guiltily. "Sleeping dart?"

"I had to do it, and I am sorry it came to that," he said. "But I do not regret it."

Something monumental must have happened for him to resort to such measures of subduing me. I looked up at the ceiling but did not really see it; my mind was trying to cast itself into the past to try and put the pieces together. "I was…so angry. Furious. Enraged." I focused again on Elrohir's face, and he was looking at me intently. "I remember yelling at Frithgeir about something…he was afraid. I…hm…I pushed him against a bookcase perhaps?" Elrohir nodded. I shut my eyes, slowly recalling the feel of my knife in my hand. They flew open as I realized what I had done, and I began to feel panicked. "What have I done? How could I?" My breathing was becoming more rapid, and I felt ashamed.

Elrohir hushed me and took my hand, and I tried to calm myself. After a few minutes of struggling to breathe normally, I said, "What could have caused me to behave in such a way? I nearly killed an innocent person in cold blood, in front of all of you."

"I would not say he is entirely innocent; some of the accusations you made were true. He was indeed keeping from us that he knew Nar held dangerous knowledge, and, fearing it would bring doom upon himself, Frithgeir tried to find a way to send Nar away. Perhaps not kill him, but get him to leave Zudrugund," Elrohir replied softly.

"I have never lost control in such a way. Certainly, in battle I can sometimes become enraged, but there is always a measure of focus and knowing what I am doing. In this case, it seemed like my anger was unstoppable." At this, Elrohir looked a little worried, and seemed to hesitate. "Elrohir, what is it?"

He sighed, "Do you remember the other night?"

I shuddered, "How could I forget?" I knew he referred to the waking nightmare I had.

Squeezing my hand again, he continued, "There was a heavy darkness in the air, and at the time, I could not see it clearly. However, when you were speaking with Frithgeir, I noticed tendrils of it start to form and curl around you. When some of us attempted to restrain you, we were repelled by some sort of barrier which the darkness had started to create. I believe I only had a moment to use the sleeping dart before it encased you completely, although I cannot be certain." He paused. "Once you were asleep, the darkness dissipated, fading away like it had never been there."

Horrified and confused, I sat up unsteadily and ran my fingers through my tangled locks. "So, the darkness was not my imagination? It was real?"

Elrohir nodded, putting an arm around me as I leaned against him, still feeling weak but mostly ashamed. Some dark forces were attempting to turn me against my friends and family…

…and it put them all at risk. At this realization, I began to cry. Elrohir misinterpreted it as me being sorry for what I had done (although I was), and said, "Frithgeir will forgive you…perhaps. None of the rest of us hold this against you, as we all could see what was happening." He huffed a laugh, "Nar seemed to be totally unaware of what was going on."

This made me almost smile; I had grown fond of Nar, despite him constantly frustrating us. I pulled away from Elrohir and forced myself to look him in the eye. He must have seen the resolve in my gaze, for he suddenly looked worried. "Gwin? What are you thinking?"

Gathering all my courage, I said, "I must leave."

Elrohir frowned, "Leave? We will be going soon, perhaps tomorrow, to report to Halbarad on our findings-"

I held up a hand, "You misunderstand me. I must leave you and go on alone."

He was already shaking his head, "It is not necessary mellon nin, we do not fear you."

"Well you should!" I tried to shout, but it sounded strangled. "Look at what I almost did; what if those…forces try to control me again, and you or Elladan or…Candaith…or anyone else are the target of my anger? I cannot risk hurting or killing any of you." I looked down at my hands. "I could not bear it, and I will not take such a chance again."

Elrohir sighed, and I could tell without looking that he was sad but thinking quickly. "If we notice the darkness emerging, Elladan or I will use our healing powers to dispel it before it gets too powerful. We can help you penneth."

"I am not a child Elrohir, so please stop calling me one," I said firmly. I knew this would hurt his feelings, but I needed him to understand. "I am a full-grown and capable Elleth. I have taken care of myself for many years, especially this last one. I can manage on my own without trouble, as I have done many times." I looked into his grey eyes, which were full of hurt, "I am sorry Elrohir, but I have made my decision."

He bowed his head and visibly tried to gather himself. When he looked at me again, I noted a calm, almost emotionless mask had slid over his face. "If this is what you wish, I cannot stop you." He rose from the bed I was lying on. "I will let you gather your things."

I stayed silent as he went to leave, but right before exiting the room, he said, "You will need to tell the others yourself. I will not be the messenger."

"Wait!" I blurted out, and he turned back around to face me. "Please, do not let us part in anger, as Nona and Wadu did." His eyes softened and he moved to sit beside me once more. "If something happened, I would not have our last impression of one another be anything but comforting." I hesitantly placed my head on his shoulder, and thankfully he did not pull away. "I have no family left here in Middle Earth, as they are all across the Sea now." My heart clenched with the familiar old grief. "You and Elladan and Arwen…I see you as my new family. At least, I hope you feel the same?" I looked up into his eyes and was surprised to see tears in them. "Elrohir?"

"Gwin, it brings me joy to hear you view us as your family; Elladan and I have tried to be as brothers to you, which is one reason why we are so protective." He squeezed my hand, "We love you, muinthel." I reached up and wiped a tear away that had fallen, and he hugged me tightly to him. "Will you not reconsider leaving?"

I started to say no, but paused to think. Would it really be the best option?

Elrohir seemed to read my thoughts and said, "If you were alone, and the darkness came upon you, who would be there to help dispel it? It is why Elladan and I want you to stay with us, at least while it is possible. Perhaps there is a way for us to prevent it from happening; we need to figure out what is causing it." I had a theory, but decided to keep it to myself for now; I wanted to consider it further before speaking of it.

I sighed, "You speak words of wisdom, but I will not always be able to be by your sides. Sometimes our goals take us away from each other; only recently have we been together for an extended period of time." I gave him a smile, "Not that I am complaining…although, you both tend to drive me crazy sometimes." He returned it, and I wondered what I should do next. "You say we will likely be leaving tomorrow?"

He nodded, "It was the tentative plan we discussed while you were…sleeping." He looked at me sheepishly.

"It is all right Elrohir, I do not hold what you did against you. Clearly, it was necessary," I said softly and with regret. "It must have been a difficult decision to make."

"Yes, it was hard. I have never used a sleeping dart on anything except an enemy. I hope never to need to do it again," he replied, and I internally agreed.

"What are we to tell Halbarad?" I mused, changing the subject. "While we have answered the riddle of what Wadu was up to while here, it gave us no information on what Saruman plans to do next." I furrowed my brow at Elrohir's expression. "You are worried about what Nar said?"

He nodded, "It puzzles me. How did he hear about such things? Could it be possible one of Saruman's spies somehow learned of our road, and spoke with Nar?"

"Why would they come all the way up here?" I asked. "Unless they knew that Nar had some secret knowledge about the Grey Company." None of this made sense. "Could we make the potion again and ask him?"

"It sounds like he can only consume it perhaps once a week or it will not work, as his body would become used to it if taken too often," Elrohir answered. "We also would need to collect the ingredients once more. I am not sure we have the time."

I shook my head, "We do not. It is possible, after we tell Halbarad what happened, he will want to stay longer to investigate, especially because of Nar's strange words." I pulled away from Elrohir and tried to make myself presentable. "As a group, we will need to decide what to do; should we all leave, or should some stay here and try to gather more information?"

Part of me (a large part) wanted to leave and go visit Candaith. Did it make me selfish? Perhaps, but I missed him greatly. Much had happened in the short span of time we had been apart, and although the twins were of great comfort to me, Candaith was different. He was the one I loved, and even if he perhaps did not return that love, I wanted to be by his side.

Elrohir nudged me with his shoulder, and I realized I was lost in my thoughts. "I am sorry, I was just considering our next steps."

He smiled, but had a knowing look on his face. I narrowed my eyes in suspicion. "Elrohir…can you read minds?" I knew his grandmother Galadriel certainly could, and that he could speak with Elladan via his mind…perhaps he could do the same with others?

Laughing musically, he replied, "No Gwin, that was not a skill I was ever bestowed with. I simply am good at reading people, especially those I care about." He stood up, and I took his outstretched hand. "Let us join the others, and make a plan." I nodded, and we left the room.

Here we see a reemergence of the mysterious shadows. How will they affect Gwin? Will she get to see Candaith soon, or must she remain in Zudrugund to investigate? Tune in next time to find out! Please leave a review if you have a moment!