An important conversation occurs; what will happen? Read on to find out!

Chapter 44

I pulled myself together and replied, "Of course; you can always speak your mind with me." He guided me over to his tent and we ducked inside. It was quite large, and had the ability to add tarp walls. It was likely made for at least four people to sleep in comfortably, and I surmised it was in case any of the other rangers needed to stay for a short period of time.

After securing the tarp door so it was shut, he sat down, and I settled myself across from him. I had my hands folded in my lap, as I was unsure what kind of conversation this would be. He had folded his own, and was looking at the ground, seeming to try and find the words he wanted to use.

I decided to go first, "What is on your mind?" I tried to keep the worry out of my voice.

He remained silent for a few moments, before replying, "I have been thinking."

I waited, but he did not elaborate. "Thinking about what?" I asked, feeling a little impatient.

"About us. About our relationship," he said softly, and I felt my stomach sink.

"What have you determined?" I replied, trying to keep my voice calm but finding it difficult.

He finally took my hands in his and said, "I want you to be happy." He still would not look at me, and I wanted to reach over and tip his face up towards mine.

I frowned a little, "I am happy…I'm happy with you."

He sighed, and I became concerned. "Candaith, please speak plainly."

"I…I do not wish for you to die," he murmured, and it seemed like it took all of his energy to speak the words.

I looked at him, shocked at what I was hearing. He was still looking down at our hands, but I could tell he was getting emotional. "I also do not wish to die. What is this really about?" I had my suspicions, but needed to hear him say it.

He took a deep breath, and let go of my hands. "I have heard it said that when an Elf loves someone, and they die, the Elf also will die, but in a torturous way." He looked up at me, and I was startled at the anguish in his eyes. "I would not have you die because of me."

My eyes widened. He must have inferred that I perhaps loved him, and wanted to try and end our relationship to save my life. It took me a moment to figure out what to say; this was a delicate matter and a crucial conversation. However, before I could speak, he continued, "The lives of men are merely a moment in the lives of your people; you…you should find someone who will love you for eternity, who you can spend forever loving in return."

It was heartbreaking to hear him say these things. They were concerns I had myself, but after my conversation with Elrohir not too long ago, I realized it did not matter. I already loved Candaith with my whole heart; it was too late to turn back, even if I wanted to.

I took his hands again. "Candaith, I understand why you say these things, but I can assure you I know my own heart." I moved closer, and put my hand on his cheek. "I…I love you, and no matter what you wish, my feelings will not change. Whether you accept it or not, my heart is yours."

He looked both surprised and conflicted; perhaps he did not realize the depths of my love for him. How could he? I had never spoken of it to him, out of fear of rejection. He put his hand over mine, but seemed unsure what to say. I hoped to hear him say he loved me too…but was I wrong to assume that he did?

His hesitation made me feel disheartened, and I started to pull away. "I understand you may not feel the same-"

Suddenly he was kissing me, almost aggressively, and it took me by surprise. My arms instinctively went around his neck, and he pulled me into his lap. When it seemed I would no longer be able to breathe, we broke apart, both of us breathing heavily. "I am sorry if I took you by surprise," Candaith said, sounding amused.

I put my forehead against his, "It was a welcome one, I assure you." He pulled back a little and smiled at me. Our faces were so close that I could count his eyelashes if I wanted. I kissed him, softly this time. "Do you love me too?" I was sure I knew the answer, but needed to hear it from him.

He smiled wider, "Yes, meleth nin (my love)." I shivered in pleasure; the way the Sindarin words rolled off his tongue was sensual, his deep voice making it even more so.

"Say it again," I whispered.

He put his lips right next to my left ear and whispered, "Meleth nin", before brushing it with his tongue. I squirmed in pleasure, noting I was still in his lap. He groaned, and I could feel his hardness against me. I became distracted as he started kissing down my neck, and I leaned my head to the side when he moved the collar of my shirt to access my shoulder. His other hand was tracing my right ear, and even the lightest touch was driving me mad with desire.

He eventually made his way back up to my mouth and our tongues entwined as he pulled me even closer to him. My hands were buried in his thick brown hair, and his were hot on my lower back, where my shirt had ridden up. I felt like I couldn't get close enough, even though we were almost flush together. I pouted when he moved away slightly, but looked at him hungrily when he removed his shirt. "Oh my," I murmured, unable to look away from his very defined muscles. I ran my hands up and down his chest, noting that it was mostly bare except near the bottom of his abs, where it looked to possibly trail down below his waist band.

I became distracted again when I noted his fingers had moved towards the ties of my shirt, but he hesitated. I realized he was thinking about what happened last time. I took his hands in mine and said, "Allow me." Gathering my courage, I undid the ties and removed it myself, leaving only the undershirt I was wearing underneath. It was sheer and left little to the imagination, and I knew by Candaith's smoldering gaze that he was enjoying the view. I gasped as his hands cupped my breasts, massaging them as he kissed me with more fervor. His thumbs moved in slow circles over the sensitive peaks, and even through the thin fabric, it felt incredible. I heard him growl with pleasure when I inadvertently rocked my hips into his, as I was still sitting on his lap.

Now, I was not inexperienced in this type of thing. Contrary to what Men seemed to believe, Elves did not wait until marriage to be intimate with someone. Living for thousands of years and possibly not even getting married and having to remain celibate was ridiculous. However, I had never been with someone I truly loved; it had always just been for fun.

It had me asking myself: was I ready for this? Did he understand what it would mean? Did I?

My thoughts must have shown on my face because Candaith moved his hands from my chest and placed one on my cheek. "Am I moving too fast?" he asked softly.

I sighed but gave him a smile, "I think perhaps both of us are moving too fast, meleth nin." It was true; we had just told one another of our love, and our emotions were running high after such a monumental change in our relationship. It would be easy to get carried away, as much as part of me wanted to.

"I like it when you say that to me," he murmured, kissing me gently.

I looked at him quizzically, "Say what? That we are moving too fast?"

He laughed lightly and replied, "No, I like it when you call me 'meleth nin'; it is lovely to hear it coming from your lips." He kissed me again, and I felt him running his hands along my hair curiously. "These braids are beautiful. Did you do them yourself?"

I blushed, "Well, I wanted to look nice for you, so I had Elrohir do them for me." He raised an eyebrow. "Oh, not you too!"

Candaith laughed and said, "Is it like how it was with Barachen?"

I shrugged and replied, "Elrohir is like a brother to me, and therefore a part of my family. Therefore, it was perfectly socially acceptable for him to do my braids. Barachen was just joking around and trying to make you uncomfortable." Candaith smiled in amusement. "Did it make you jealous?"

His smile faded, "It did, but I could not figure out why, at the time. I thought perhaps I was developing feelings for you that were more than friendship, but tried to push them aside because you are an Elf." He cupped my face in his hands. "I tried so very hard not to love you. As I said before, I want you to be happy, and live forever without suffering and possibly dying from grief. It hurts me to know I would be the cause of such pain."

Determined not to let this moment of happiness turn melancholy, I replied, "And as I said before, I am happy, and will always be, when you are by my side." He went to say something else but I put a finger over his lips and continued, "No matter what happens to me after you pass away, it will have been worth it." I kissed him softly. "Loving you will always be worth it."

He gave me a true smile and pulled me to him. I tucked my head under his chin and rested against his chest. As always, I felt safe and loved in his arms.

We stayed like that for some time, and I likely would have fallen asleep if not for the soft knocking on the wooden post coming from outside. "Candaith? Gwin?" I heard Elrohir asking, and I sighed, knowing our position was somewhat compromising. Although I knew Elrohir would be happy to hear Candaith and I had finally admitted our love to one another, he might not be so understanding if he saw me snuggled up to a shirtless Candaith. Not that it was really his business. "Just a moment," I replied, sitting up and noticing Candaith had actually fallen asleep. Putting my overshirt back on, I took his blanket and laid it over him carefully. I gave him a fond smile; he looked so peaceful, and I had to resist the temptation to curl up with him again.

I ducked out from inside the tent and was greeted with the somewhat stern face of Elrohir. "Did I interrupt something?" he asked.

I raised my eyebrows but did not answer. Elladan joined us and shoved his brother aside to give me a hug. "I assume you told him of your feelings muinthel?"

"I did," I replied, a big smile forming on my face. "He feels the same."

Elladan laughed musically, "That is wonderful news! I am happy for you Gwin, you deserve all the joy in the world." He nudged his brother and added, "Isn't that right Elrohir?"

Elrohir, who had been staring at the tent suspiciously, looked back to me and gave me a genuine smile, "Yes, it is," Both of them pulled me into a tight hug, and I was barely able to gasp, "Hey, I can barely breathe!" before they released me. I had never felt happier in my life.

Elrohir's expression turned more business-like. "Now Gwin, due to the fact that your parents and brothers are no longer here to act as chaperones, we will fill the role in their stead."

My eyes widened. "Chaperones? Are you aware we are almost the same age?"

"Ah, but not quite. We are 150 years your senior, tithen pen," Elrohir replied, yelping as I smacked his shoulder. "Despite this, it is our job to make sure you and Candaith do not do anything…untoward."

"Really?" I asked, skeptically. "Are you saying that both of you have been perfect, responsible angels regarding your 'physical activities'?" I barely held in a laugh at their blushing faces.

"Ah, well, this is not about us, it is about you," Elrohir stammered.

I rolled my eyes, "I am not some daughter of a King who requires chaperones and guards following me around to make sure Candaith and I follow proper decorum. I am indeed well-known, and I view you like brothers, but it does not make me royalty of any kind." I moved closer to them, and they must have seen the serious expression on my face because they paid close attention. 'I am an adult, and I only have so much time to spend with Candaith. Please do not make me waste it following some outdated protocol which pertains to Elves who will be together forever."

They looked chastened, and both nodded solemnly. Elrohir said, "You are right Gwin, it is not the same. We are sorry if we caused you any distress." Elladan added, "It is natural for us to want to protect you, but you are indeed old enough to make your own decisions. Both of you are."

"Thank you for understanding." I replied softly. Noticing it was quite dark, I asked, "Will we all be spending the night here?"

Elladan nodded, "It is not safe to travel back up the mountain pass in the dark, especially since there is not much moonlight." I looked around and noticed the twins had set up our tents. "We will stay here until morning, and then we will make a plan for the day."

"Sounds good," I replied, and tiredly made my way over to my tent. "Thanks for setting this up by the way." Although I secretly had hoped they had forgotten my tent so I could stay with Candaith, I was grateful to have a space of my own to take some time to reflect on all that had happened in the last few hours.

Candaith loved me! It was something I had wanted so badly, and yet was too afraid to hope for. Finally, we could both be open with one another and grow closer as a couple. I smiled as I remembered how happy I was when he said he loved me too; for a moment, I thought he was going to reject me. Thankfully he was just unsure what to say. I admired him for trying to be noble and let me go, even if it cost him his own happiness, but was glad he changed his mind.

I knew in my heart that, when Candaith died, it would be a devastating blow I perhaps would not survive. However, there was no point in worrying about it; the best thing to do would be to love each other every day we could, and enjoy each moment, however fleeting it might seem. At this encouraging thought, I smiled and let the crickets outside lull me into reverie.

Whew, things got spicy, didn't they? Finally, they admitted how they feel; took them long enough!

I took some liberties with having Elves be intimate with each other before marriage, which I know isn't 'canon', but it makes sense to me. Could you stay a virgin until you were 2000+ years old? It is more about the intention behind it; whether it's just casual, or for something more serious, like marriage. I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and take a moment to write a review; I love reading them!