Gwin vents a little about her current worries, and Ergothorn gives her some useful information. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 59

Not surprised at the question but wishing he had not asked it, I replied, "I cannot say, for it is a secret."

"Perhaps I could help aid you in some way?" He asked. When I went to decline, he added, "You do not need to tell me the specifics, but I know many things about many topics…" He trailed off, looking hopeful.

I sighed, unsure what to say. I knew he was trying to be helpful, but I also knew Halbarad, as well as Aragorn, would be upset if I told a relative stranger of our quest, even if he did save my life. I decided to ask him a question I was curious about, but I did not know if he could answer. "Do you know what kind of knowledge Saruman is trying to get from the dwarf Nar?"

He raised his eyebrows, not anticipating the question. "I am unsure of the exact nature of it, but I inferred it had something to do with your errand. The Uruk-hai had referred specifically to the rangers, as well as you, in the conversation I overheard, so I am surmising that Saruman suspects what you are doing. How Nar would know of it is not clear to me; perhaps they are coming to him out of a need for historical information? He shrugged. "It is just a theory, but you cannot know unless you were to ask Nar about it."

"He would likely not be able to answer any of my questions," I said with a huff of frustration. "He is…not all there."

Ergothorn looked confused. "What does that mean?"

"For lack of a better word, he is addled. Being very old, his mind has gone. He lives in the past, and only when he drinks a specific potion, does he make any sense. However, the effect is only temporary, and the potion can only be given once a week, maximum." I cast my mind back to how short-lived the effects had been, and wondered if Nar had already built up a high tolerance to it.

Ergothorn put his chin in his hand, and stared into the flames of the fire, "Maybe whoever Saruman sent to gather information somehow knew about the potion and made it, and had Nar drink it."

I frowned, "The other dwarf he lives with, Frithgeir, made no mention of this to us." However, I knew now that Frithgeir was not completely trustworthy. He had bravely defended Nar during the battle, but that did not mean he trusted the rest of us.

"Perhaps he is lying?" Ergothorn asked, echoing my thoughts.

"Perhaps." My mind was full of questions and worries. I put the heels of my hands to my forehead, trying to will my brain to come up with a solution. "If Saruman is looking for answers and wishes to stop us, it only reinforces the need to move on quickly."

"Would you not rather attempt to discern his plan so you can take another route or other actions in order to avoid running into trouble?" Ergothorn countered. "You could be walking right into a trap."

I sighed, "Are there multiple routes into Dunland?" It was frustrating not being familiar with the region. I hoped the others were more knowledgeable. However, Ergothorn was…could he aid us? I looked over at him, considering what to do. He had leaned back against his pack and was staring at the ceiling, also in thought, and did not seem to notice my gaze.

I decided to see if he could give me some information. "You have been traveling in Dunland recently, yes?" I asked. He nodded, still looking up at the ceiling. "Is there a route less-traveled that Saruman might not expect us to take?"

Finally, he swiveled his gaze to mine. "There are two routes you could take, but they both have their own dangers. My advice would be to have your rangers scout each one before the rest of you move south, so you have some idea what you would be walking into." He sat up and pulled out one of his maps, and I came closer to look. "If you follow the main road that runs north to south through Enedwaith, you come to the Bonevales." He traced the route with his finger. "It is much like the Lich Bluffs in that there are many undead who roam around, but it is more concentrated and difficult to navigate, in my opinion. I have gone through once and vowed never to do so again. However, it would be a good way to use because less people travel through it." He shivered. "The question is whether or not you would survive."

Remembering my experiences with the undead made me wish very much not to go there, but it was not up to me. "What of the other route?" I asked quietly.

He moved his finger to the west, and placed it on a place called 'Trum Dreng'. "This is more traveled, and is bordered by several, somewhat hidden villages. However, if you pass through at night, you can avoid detection, if you are skilled enough. I hear the Dunedain are known for their ability to hide in the shadows." I huffed a laugh, knowing this was all too true. "It is the easiest way to get to Galtrev, but as I said, if you wish to try and fool Saruman…the Bonevales may be your best option." He turned his head to look at me with some concern, and I realized how close we were to each other.

A little flustered, I backed up slightly and sat back on my heels. "Even if we somehow make it through Dunland, who's to say we will get to where we need to go on time? We have already been pulled into several other conflicts and it caused us some significant delays; Dunland could be the same story. What if we get to Rohan too late?" I was very frustrated. "I of course have made things worse with my injuries. I…I fear they may have to leave me behind."

Ergothorn looked at me quizzically. "Leave you behind? Are you not an important member of your company? Do they not value your input and skills?"

I gestured at myself. "Look at me. I'm useless. I cannot fight, at least not very well. I will be a burden to them that they cannot afford." I tried to stand and start pacing, but I ended up just limping until my legs started to cramp and I had to unsteadily lower myself to the ground. I had noticed Ergothorn had risen slightly to help but hesitated; I wondered if he thought his aid would be unwelcome. I wanted to be strong and independent; relying on someone for help had always been a struggle for me. It related back to my earlier thoughts about being a burden; I felt like my mind was going in circles.

Noticing I had begun to feel the familiar despair try to settle over me, I moved closer to the fire. I always felt cold when this happened, as if it was seeping the warmth of my spirit away from me. "Gwinthilnel?" Ergothorn asked quietly. "I…I sense something is not right."

I shrugged, unsure what to say. I did not really have the words to describe my struggles. "You would think I am weak," I murmured, staring into the flames but not really seeing them.

He moved closer to me so we were sitting side by side. "I assure you that I would not," he replied kindly. "From the short amount of time we have known one another, I have seen your strength. Look at what you survived! Not everyone could have persevered after toppling off of a cliff."

"It was luck," I said tonelessly. "If you had not been there, we would not be having this conversation and I would be sitting in the Halls of Mandos right now."

There were a few minutes of silence as we both were lost in our thoughts. After a time, Ergothorn said, "I think there is a reason you survived. You are meant to do great things; at least that's what I believe."

"What kinds of things?" I whispered, my voice breaking. "I have righted many wrongs, and tried to fight against the evil that seems to creep closer every day, and for what? It still dogs my steps, and it seems hopeless. I have been alive for 2,000 years, and things have only become darker and more dangerous." Tears were on my cheeks now, which was embarrassing, but I didn't have the energy to try and stop them. "This mission we are on…the chances of it working are so small. I fear we are all going to die." I curled myself into a ball, ignoring the throbbing of my shoulder as it pulled the healing skin.

Ergothorn was listening without interruption, and I turned my head to look at him. His eyes were full of compassion. I kept talking, as it felt somewhat cathartic to admit these things. "I cannot say these words to the others, for it would only discourage them. They want me to be positive and hopeful, so any hint of my doubts would be unwelcome."

"Well, that is what I'm here for," Ergothorn said quietly, his deep voice warm and comforting. "People tell me I am a good listener. Sometimes it is easier to speak to a stranger of these things rather than to someone you know well. It allows you to be more honest, I think." I nodded, musing that he was probably right.

I unwound myself a bit and moved my shoulder around carefully, wincing at the pain which had returned. Noticing, Ergothorn offered to make me some more tea. "Would you like it to be a little stronger?" He gestured outside, and I noticed the light had darkened. "It is getting late, and perhaps you would like to sleep for a time?"

"Are you sure you do not want to sleep yourself?" I asked. "Men seem to need more rest than Elves."

He smiled, "I will be fine. Once you wake, we can trade places."

I returned it weakly, and tried to push away the melancholy, "Very well."

He made it as before, but we added another pinch of the valerian root. He also found a small amount of sugar in the bottom of his foodstuffs, and added it with a wink. "More suitable to your refined tastes." It lightened my spirits slightly, and although it was not quite as good as honey, it made it a little more palatable.

I was eyeing my sleeping palette, but it seemed too far away from the fire. I still felt somewhat chilled. "Ergothorn?"

"Yes Gwinthilnel?" he responded, making his way over.

"Could you move my palette a little closer?" I asked timidly. It felt a little lazy to ask him to do it for me, but I found I did not care at the moment.

He smiled at me warmly, picked up my bedding, set it next to me, and flourished a bow. "Of course, anything for you my lady." I found myself chuckling, and my spirits lifted. Laughter is the best medicine, as they say.

I crawled over to it and snuggled into my blankets, with my tea still in hand. I was drinking it slowly, savoring its warmth. Despite all I was struggling with, in this present moment, I felt a small measure of peace. I considered how kind Ergothorn had been to me; even though we had known each other a very short time, he had provided me with shelter, and also good company. I knew eventually he would need to be comfortable meeting the others. I almost rolled my eyes, considering how Candaith would react. He would likely be jealous for no reason, and it was one quality of his that annoyed me. Yes, it was common for people to be jealous sometimes, but it did not make it pleasant.

"Thank you," I murmured.

Ergothorn looked at me quizzically. "For what?"

"For everything," I replied. He blushed and did not seem to know how to respond, and I raised an eyebrow. "You can simply say 'you are welcome'."

"Ah, yes, of course. You are welcome, Gwinthilnel," he said, and it seemed we shared a similar quality in that we struggled with accepting compliments or praise for what we've done.

"You can call me Gwin," I said softly. "It's what my friends call me."

He grinned, and replied, "Goodnight, Gwin. Sleep well."

Looks like Ergothorn can help them navigate their route with some suggestions, and he listened to Gwin without judgement as she unburdened herself. Thanks for reading, and leave a review!