Got another long one here, and this chapter is back to Gwin's POV. How will she react to the news of what happened?

Chapter 73

Gwin's POV: When the Rangers Entered the Forsaken Road

I shivered as I felt a wave of something cold permeate through my spirit, and Elrohir looked at me with some concern. I was right next to the fire, which I knew was quite warm. I pulled my cloak tighter around my body, and Elrohir put a blanket on my shoulders. "Muinthel, what is it? Are you chilled?"

I shrugged, "Just a little. The wind is quite brisk, don't you think?" While it was true, the wind was supposedly warm, according to Calenglad, who was looking at me quizzically. I knew something else was causing this strange chill, but did not comment on it. "Do you have any food, perhaps?" Elrohir handed me some dried fruit and lembas for breakfast, and I ate it mechanically as my thoughts were racing. The sun was just peaking over the horizon, but I barely noticed the beautiful colors. I tried to tap into Candaith's thoughts and feelings, but found it difficult.

What was he trying to hide from me?

I felt a rush of adrenaline, and jumped to my feet without thinking about it, my hands reaching for my knives, which I noticed were not on me. I had left them in the tent, and berated myself for it.

"Gwin?" Elrohir asked cautiously. "What are you doing?" The others around the fire also looked curious.

I glanced over at him with some confusion, and noticed my actions. "I…I am not sure. I felt this overwhelming urge to fight." I scanned the surrounding area, but found no threats. Was Candaith in danger?

No sooner had I thought of this, I received a wave of comfort and reassurance from Candaith, and I relaxed. I made my excuses and headed over to my tent without looking at Elrohir. I knew they all must think me foolish for acting this way, and I did not have the energy to answer any questions. Perhaps all was well?

Unfortunately, Elrohir did not let it go so easily. "You fear for Candaith," he said with some sympathy.

I nodded, "He reassured me, but I wonder how much is truth. Perhaps he means to decrease my worries, even while he is in danger." I started pacing. "Should I go to him?"

Elrohir shook his head, "He is surrounded by other capable warriors. I trust he will be well, and that Halbarad will make good decisions on behalf of the group." He pulled me into his arms, and I did not resist. "Keep the faith Gwin."

It was easier said than done, "It is difficult. I like to be in control, and in this case, I am stuck here. Should I go to him?" I asked again. Even as I said this, I felt fatigue creeping up on me. I knew I was not fully recovered from my…ordeal.

"Gwin," Elrohir began, "Candaith would want you to regain your strength. You will be no use to us if you do not heal."

I sighed, knowing he was right. I had certainly continued on when I was even weaker than this, but I had to trust in my friends to be successful. I knew as an Elleth that the traitors would immediately turn me away, and I wondered what Elladan would do. Perhaps he would stay outside to step in if aid was needed?

I decided to remain on my guard, but I tried to calm down. I had to believe that Candaith was safe.

After a time, I noticed some of the anxiety fade, and I let myself relax further. Perhaps things were going well. I knew the chances of success were slim, but perhaps it was possible. We just needed to know whether or not these men would support Aragorn when he called for aid. Fighting shouldn't be necessary…right?

I was repairing a tear in my tunic when it happened. I felt a sudden whoosh of adrenaline, and then a flash of fear. I dropped my shirt, and clutched my chest as a stabbing pain went through it. Elrohir rushed to my side, asking me what was wrong. As I attempted to figure this out, I felt a mental "wall" come up. As much as I tried to get around it, I could not penetrate it. I felt cut off from Candaith, and I could not understand why. It was almost as if he was no longer there, or something was attempting to keep me away from him. Or keep me protected from something.

I noticed with some alarm as Elrohir staggered and fell to his knees, clutching his side. "Elrohir! What is it?" I shouted, rushing to his side and ignoring my own feelings.

"Elladan," he gasped. "Something…something is wrong."

"What is wrong?" I asked fearfully.

"I…I am not sure," Elladan replied weakly. "I felt a rush of power, and now there is nothing." The naked fear in his eyes terrified me. "I feel…nothing from him."

"What does that mean?" I replied anxiously.

Elrohir shook his head. "I do not know. Usually I can sense his soul easily, but it is as if there is a barrier cutting me off from him."

"I feel the same with Candaith," I said, my brow furrowing. "Perhaps something bad is happening and they are trying to shield us from the pain?"

Elrohir looked lost and confused, something I had never seen before. "Why would they do that?"

"Because they love us and do not wish us to hurt," I replied sadly. "Yet it only makes me worry more."

"I know I said we should stay here…but I cannot stand by if Elladan is in danger," Elrohir said, sounding almost broken. "We are two sides of the same coin, you see. If one of us falls…"

He didn't have to continue for me to know his meaning. If Elladan were to die, Elrohir would not be far behind. Despite my bond with Candaith, it could not compare to the one between the twins.

The pain in my chest had ended as soon as the strange "wall" appeared, and I shakily stood and pulled Elrohir to his feet. "Let us gather what we need, but we must tell the others where we are going."

"It is possible they will want to join us…" Elrohir added.

"Which may be necessary, especially if there is trouble afoot," I replied. "I will ask around."

I quietly approached a few people that I knew I could trust not to judge me or brush aside our strange feelings. These included Lothrandir, Corunir, and Saeradan. All three of them agreed to come without question, and I was grateful for their faith in me.

Ergothorn, who I had come to learn was a very observant person, realized something was not right. However, instead of offering to join us, he simply wished us luck. "I'll throw Bema a prayer for you," he murmured, trying to smile.

I felt a flicker of amusement at the current state of his hair, which was blowing haphazardly in the wind, as he had not tied it back. He kept brushing it out of his face distractedly, with little success, and I wordlessly gave him one of my hair ties. He grinned, and it briefly raised my spirits. Very briefly. I attempted a smile of my own, but could not manage it; I was too worried. "I will take any help we can get, even if it is only a prayer." I squeezed his hand in appreciation and went to gather what I needed. Elrohir gave the exchange a curious look, but did not comment.

It took longer than I had hoped to get everything ready, and we set off in the late morning. As much as I wanted to gallop as hard as I could, we needed to be cautious. These lands were not safe, and we had to stay off the main road in certain parts to avoid enemies. From what Nona had described, the journey took two days at a careful pace, but we were moving quicker than that. I estimated we could get there around sunset if we hurried.

My heart was pounding, and I kept trying to reach out to Candaith, but to no avail. I would glance over at Elrohir on occasion, and the fear on his face was a clear indication that he was having similar luck with Elladan. It was difficult determining what this strange barrier meant. Was he dead? The thought made me feel like I was choking, but I pushed it aside. Perhaps he was purposefully trying to prevent me from feeling any pain or suffering he was potentially undergoing. However, did he have the skills to do such a thing? We had barely been married for more than a moment, and I knew from others that it took time and practice to manage the sharing of thoughts and emotions between two soulmates. Surely it would not be easy to throw up such a barrier with so little skill and practice?

Was my earlier mention of putting up "walls" enough to get Candaith to do such a thing? I had to trust to hope that we would find him and Elladan alive. But perhaps not well.

We had been riding for half a day, giving the horses a couple breaks to drink water and rest, before I noticed two riders coming our direction. I held up a hand to halt our party, and we armed ourselves, unsure of who approached.

It did not take long for me to notice that it was two rangers headed our way, and eventually I could make out Halbarad and Radanir's drawn features. The sight filled me with dread.

Halbarad came to a stop in front of us, and he dismounted wearily. All I wanted to do was pump him for information, but I let Lothrandir give him and Radanir some water and lembas first. After a few minutes, I could barely stand it, and swung out of the saddle. "Halbarad? Why do you return with such haste?" I asked, and peeked around him to look out into the distance. "Why only the two of you? Where are the others?"

My heart froze in my chest at the haunted look in his eyes. My gaze flicked to Radanir, and I was shocked to see tears rolling down his face. Focusing on Halbarad again, I moved closer. "Where are the others?" I asked again, more urgently.

Halbarad took a ragged breath and swallowed, clearly upset. Finally, he met my eyes with his and said gruffly, "They fell."

My eyes widened. "I'm sorry?" I said in disbelief. "Did I hear you correctly?"

"Gwin, I am sorry…but the others did not survive-"

I slapped him.

Instead of reacting, he stood there and took it with resignation. "You lie!" I yelled, my voice cracking. "This…this cannot be." I felt like I could not breathe, like there was no air left in the world. I would have collapsed had I not heard someone slide off their horse and fall to the ground.

Looking over my shoulder, I saw Elrohir sobbing in a crumpled heap in the dirt, and I stumbled over to him. He was making the most horrible keening sound, and it took all of my strength to put my arms around him. I was dimly aware of the others, but my focus was only on Elrohir and myself. I felt like my whole world was crashing down, and could not imagine the pain Elrohir was experiencing. I knew it must be worse than mine, but how that could be seemed impossible, as it was as if someone was trying to tear my heart out of my chest. It felt like the stabbing pain from earlier, but it did not cease, no matter what I did.

There were no words of comfort to give him as he trembled in my arms. I felt like I should be crying as much as Elrohir, but there was a strange numbness taking over. I stroked his hair, mumbling meaningless but hopefully calming Sindarin in his ears. I didn't know what to say; there were no words.

"Gwin, we must go from here," I heard someone say, but it was as if it was from a far distance. "Gwin, mellon nin, let us go somewhere more secluded and safer." I could tell it was Saeradan now. He had crouched next to me, and was rubbing my back in a comforting manner, but I barely felt it. He always seemed to be there when I was going through a crisis, and I appreciated it, even if I couldn't express it now.

Nodding woodenly, I tried to pull Elrohir to his feet, but his legs would not bear his weight. Instead, Saeradan picked him up, and I stumbled alongside as we walked, Lothrandir supporting me as I leaned against him. We made our way further from the road into a dense, forested area. It was secluded, and our backs were protected by a curved rock wall. It was the safest place we could be at the moment.

Saeradan set Elrohir down, and felt tears start to gather as I beheld Elrohir's pale complexion. It was like he was fading away before my eyes, and it had only been a handful of minutes. Pushing my pain aside with great difficulty, I put my focus back on him and took his hand. "Elrohir, this is not the way, muindor," I said softly. He was gasping for air, and I wished I had his healing powers to help him somehow. "Let us gather more details; perhaps there is more to the story."

"What more could there be?" Elrohir gasped. "He is dead."

My eyes found Halbarad again, who was standing a little awkwardly nearby. I motioned him to come closer and focused on his face as much as my wavering vision would. "Can you explain?"

Halbarad nodded, and told the tale of their time on the Forsaken Road. Eventually he came to describe a battle. "We had confronted the Brenin of the traitors, and instead of listening to our offer, he continually sent his soldiers to fight us. After a few rounds of this, the Brenin questioned who were we that we could make such an offer of deliverance." He looked into my eyes sadly. "Candaith was very brave, Gwin. He stepped forward and…and he claimed to be the Heir of Isildur."

I gaped at him in shock. "He what? Why would he do such a thing?" I meant to shout, but it came out as more of a strangled whisper.

"He believed it was our last chance to both get out of there alive and gain the allegiance of the Oath-breakers," Halbarad replied quietly. "At first, it seemed to be working. If I had not known better, I would have been convinced of his claim. He flashed the fake Ring of Barahir, and the Brenin looked stunned. However…"

When Halbarad did not continue, I prompted, "However…?"

"I realized the Brenin did not believe us, and I called for everyone to run. The number of Oath-breakers was too numerous, and all I could do was fight for my life." He swallowed and broke eye contact with me. "Before I turned to run, Candaith engaged the Brenin in battle." He raised his eyes back to mine with great difficulty, and I felt a squeezing sensation in my chest. "Are you certain you want to hear this?"

I nodded reflexively; even if I didn't want to hear it, I needed to know. "Tell me," I whispered.

"Candaith was holding his own; you know how skilled he is," he murmured, and then uncharacteristically took my hands in his. "The Oath-breakers surrounded them, and distracted Candaith for only a moment…but it was enough for the Brenin to…" he broke off, apparently unable to say the words.

"To kill him?" I whispered brokenly.

Halbarad paused for a moment, overcome with emotion, before he haltingly continued, "The Brenin's sword…it went-"

"-through his chest," I finished, and Halbarad looked at me in shock. "I felt it, when it must have happened. I did not know what it was at first, but I understand now." I paused for a moment to try and remember how to breathe, before asking, "Is there any way he could have survived?" I had to hold on to some hope, even if it was just a fool's hope.

Halbarad shrugged, "His wound was grave, and I saw him collapse to the ground, but I had to flee in order to survive. Every step I took away from him went against everything I believe in." He sounded frustrated. "I wanted to try and save him, or at least recover his body…but I couldn't do it. I fear the other four Dunedain who came with us were also slain, but have no proof as of yet."

It took all my willpower to focus on what he was saying, but I needed to hear what happened, even if it hurt. "What happened next?"

Halbarad sighed, and he sounded exhausted. "I tried to locate the others and help them escape, but I could barely see two steps in front of me; there were too many Oath-breakers. When I got near the door, Radanir was there with Elladan." At this, Elrohir's pale face shot up. Halbarad looked at him guiltily, and I feared what he would say. "He told us to get out of there, and that he would cover for us." He shifted uncomfortably. "I looked again to see if the others were following, but there were so many of the ghostly figures, swarming all around the cavern. It was like a mass of evil, green light."

"Who left with you and Radanir?" I whispered fearfully.

"No one else," Halbarad replied sadly. "We waited for hours to see if any of the others would emerge, but they did not. I tried to get back inside many times, but the stone would not be moved, no matter what I did."

Suddenly Elrohir lunged at Halbarad, and grabbed him by the collar. "You left them? YOU LEFT THEM THERE TO DIE!" He was shaking the ranger now, and fury had replaced the grief. "YOU COWARD!"

"Elrohir! Elrohir stop!" I shouted, trying to pry his fingers off of Halbarad's shirt. He turned his face to me, wild with grief and anger, but he must have seen something in my expression and let go of Halbarad, as if burned. The Ellon collapsed into my arms once more, and I realized how wrong it felt. Usually, I was the one finding comfort from him or Elladan, and now our roles were reversed. It took everything I had to shove my own grief aside, but it still hovered like shadows at the edges of my vision. It eerily reminded me of when the mysterious dark tendrils emerged in the past, but I did not have the ability to dispel it, and Elrohir would not be able to help. I could only hope they would remain at bay while I tried to aid Elrohir.

I looked at Halbarad again, and said, "Is there no chance they live still? Perhaps Elladan somehow defeated the Oath-breakers and at least recovered the bodies of those who did not survive? Maybe there are injured to be seen to?" I knew it was probably foolish to hold such hopes, but what else was there to cling to?

The ranger shrugged; he looked tired, and all of his 103 years. "It is possible, but unlikely. The number of Oath-breakers was almost beyond count. Elladan would have to be very powerful indeed to drive them away on his own." Although I knew the twins had significant healing powers, and I had seen them dispel an evil spirit from a cursed object, it had taken almost all their combined strength to do so. The inability of Elrohir to sense Elladan was also not very encouraging.

Candaith, please…where are you? Please give me a sign that you are still alive! I begged internally, but there was no reply. I closed my eyes and focused on mentally banging against the wall, but it would not be moved. It was not a good sign, and it made the grief even stronger. Worried about Elrohir, I asked if anyone had any miruvor. Lothrandir handed me a flask, and I somehow coaxed Elrohir into drinking some, before choking down a sip of my own. I felt warmth in my stomach that flowed into my veins, but I knew it was only temporary.

I was unsure what to do now. Part of me wanted to ride to the Forsaken Road and try and get inside. If there was even the slightest chance someone was alive, did we not owe it to them to try and save them? At the very least, their bodies should be recovered.

Yet another part of me wanted to just curl up on the ground and never get up again. This was more worrying, but I could not ignore the searing pain that alternated with bone-chilling numbness. I wondered what I looked like right now; was it as bad as how Elrohir did? I was shivering now, even though I was rocking Elrohir close to me, like he was a child.

I remembered how my mother had looked, before she and my sister sailed. The light in her eyes was dulled, and her complexion very pale, sometimes grey-looking. She floated around like a wraith, locked in her thoughts. Towards the end, she barely paid attention to us. It was frightening, to say the least. Assessing Elrohir closely, I noticed a similar emptiness in his eyes, and his skin was already paler than I had ever seen it. It had only been a short time since we received the news; how long could Elrohir hold on? Had he already lost all hope?

I had the beginnings of a plan, but did not know if Elrohir was strong enough. I would need him in order to try and make it work. I decided to pitch it anyway. "Elrohir, muindor nin," I whispered. "Will you look at me?" After a few moments, he tilted his tear-stained face to mine, looking at me quizzically. "I wish to be sure of what Halbarad says. Can you help me?"

There was a flicker of something in his eyes, but it was gone before I could place it. He gave me a tiny nod but otherwise did not reply.

"Let us ride to the Forsaken Road and see if we can get inside. If Elladan perhaps put up the barrier, you may be able to remove it, being his brother," I continued softly, stroking his jet-black hair. "Then we will know the truth." In reality, I rather felt it was more likely the Oath-breakers sealed it off, but I did not say it out loud.

"Maybe I do not want to know it," he whispered, so softly I almost didn't hear. "If I see his body," he choked, and I knew what he meant. If he came upon a dead Elladan, it would be even more devastating. Even thinking about it made my own grief multiply.

"Then I will go in first, mellon nin," I replied quietly. "I would save you from such a sight." I waited patiently as Elrohir took several deep, shuddering breaths, and wondered what he would say. "I would not think less of you if you did not wish to go," I reassured him.

At this, he sat up slowly, and looked into my eyes. "I would never forgive myself if I did not do all I could," Elrohir said, and his voice was firmer than it had been.

"Very well," I replied. "Will you wait here for me while I speak with the others?"

"Please, do not leave me," he cried quietly, his eyes panicked. I remained by his side and instead motioned the others over. "I am right here, mellon nin. Do not worry."

After Elrohir seemed calmer, I turned my attention to the rest of the group. "Elrohir and I have decided to try and get inside. If Elladan sealed off the door, Elrohir perhaps could get it open."

"Do you think the others are alive?" Radanir asked, and I saw the desperate hope in his expression.

"I cannot say for sure," I replied cautiously. "Either way, we must try, do you not think?"

I looked at the others, and listened while they quietly discussed the merits of going back onto the Forsaken Road. I knew it was a risk, especially if the Oath-breakers were to attack us. Yet, wasn't it our duty to try and rescue our comrades, even if it was only to prevent their bodies from being desecrated?

The others thankfully all agreed with my decision. "We will follow you," Halbarad said firmly, but looked at Elrohir with some apprehension. "Will he be able to ride?"

"I will ride in tandem with him," I said softly. There was no way I was leaving Elrohir's side now. After we made our plan, he had stopped paying attention to us, and was locked in his own thoughts. "Up you get, muindor." I pulled him to his feet with some difficulty, and we hobbled our way over to my horse. She was a little sturdier than Elrohir's, and I knew she could bear two riders without difficulty. I mounted up, and Lothrandir helped get Elrohir into position in front of me. I put one arm around his torso securely, and held the reigns with the other hand. I knew my horse would go where I needed her to without too much direction.

"Elrohir," I whispered in his ear. "Do not fall off the horse now, or you will never hear the end of it from me." I was trying to somehow lighten the mood, but knew it was next to impossible to do. I looked up at the others and asked Halbarad to lead the way, and we all followed at a good clip.

Whew, what an emotional rollercoaster! So obviously I have no personal experience on what it feels like to fade, but I do remember the pain of losing loved ones over the years, and drew on that. Hope you liked the chapter, and leave a review!