Ok, I really didn't mean to update so soon but it sort of wrote itself (sorry!).
It's pretty much just 7000 words of fluff with a lil bit of 'not so fluff' in the middle...
Enjoy! :D
"Are you going to keep me hidden up here, forever?" Hally mused, looking up at the library ceiling. The Master hummed, his head vibrating against her abdomen. They were both lying on the floor of the library. A strange habit they had both developed over the last two weeks. He was perpendicular to her, his head resting on her stomach.
Hally hadn't been to the bridge since she'd kissed him. She'd been only in the library or her room. Alone or with him. It had become a retreat for them both, to slink away and hide from whatever destruction was happening elsewhere. Here, it was just the two of them.
"Yes." The Master's voice rumbled in his chest. "Although, I might have to parade you around at some point. Your father is starting to ask if I've murdered you."
"It's been two weeks of me being 'missing' and he's only just voicing his concerns?" Hally pouted in mock offence. The Master chuckled lowly, his eyes fluttering closed.
Her hand came lazily to run her fingers through his hair. He let out a long, contented exhale as she rubbed gentle circles into his head. Touching him. It had become her addiction. To have him near her. As close as possible. Touching in some way. A hand resting on his arm, her legs thrown over his lap or her lips pressed against his.
She felt his weight shift and leave her and watched him stand, taking his hand when he offered it to her. "Come." He led her by the hand out of the library and through into the courtyard just beyond. Sunlight fell into the space through the domed glass ceiling, warmth bouncing from the light oak columns. He stopped them in the middle of the flagstone floor, turning to capture her mouth with his quickly. "I'll be back before dinner." He murmured softly. Her face fell in disappointment. Every time he would leave their little bubble, it would remind her what he was leaving her for. She wanted him to stay and hide with her. Forget all about the rest of them. But he never did.
He gave her a soft, knowing smile. "Everything from the courtyard gates, is ours." He tilted her chin up, their eyes meeting. Intrigue pulled her gaze over to one of the archways leading off somewhere new. Before now, Armitage had always placed her directly inside the library, but she had wondered where the others doors led.
"Only us?" She cocked her head to one side, looking back at him.
"Yes. Not even Armitage will disturb you here." He cupped her cheek, running his thumb across her face.
She raised an eyebrow slowly. "You built the ship, and designed the entire west wing of this level all for us?" A sly smile crept onto her face.
His eyes glittered. "Mmhmm."
"What if I'd hated you?" She narrowed her eyes playfully.
"Then I suppose no one would have seen it." He quipped back lightly, amusement dancing in his eyes. He leant down and pressed his lips to hers once more. A goodbye.
She pouted. "You could just hide in here with me?"
"I would love to. But I can't." He whispered against her lips, moving to leave.
"Can't, or won't?" She called after him, a hard edge cutting into her voice.
He paused, turning to shoot her a complicated look. He clicked his tongue against his teeth. "Be good." Then he was gone.
They'd fallen into a pattern of sorts. During the daytime, they would quip and disagree and argue, while he worked, while she read, or lounged around. They would talk and eventually, inevitably the conversation would fall onto something that would divide them. Hally bit her lip, eyes roaming around the unopened doors. Vine-like trees twisted around the European-style columns. She wondered briefly who kept them alive. She decided she would head to the left first, to see what else The Master had left for them. The columns of the courtyard held up a second balcony level, as she stepped under its shadow she noticed a coiling staircase leading upwards. A second level.
But, for now, she would explore the lower level. One thing at a time. On the left-hand wall, there were two doors. The first, led her into a reasonably sized kitchenette with a pantry. There was no real reason for her to need to cook, after all, all their meals were brought to them. But it was stocked with snacks and drinks. Mainly wine. Hally smiled, wondering briefly if Armitage would intervene if she decided to simply get wasted.
Probably.
Through the second door, she found a lounge area. Not unlike the library in décor, it was warm and cosy with large windows looking out at the sky. A wide, L-shaped sofa curved around a coffee table. She shook her head, smiling. As if they'd slept on the floor multiple times when they could definitely have both had a better night's sleep curled up together on that sofa.
Her mind wandered to the bridge. The countdown had been ticking away. Just over six months left until his fleet was ready. To launch war. A whole year. How Martha Jones had survived the last five and a half months, she had no idea. The time on the Valiant had dragged painfully slowly at first. There was never an in-between, either nothing happened at all or everything went off at once. But they had survived so far. She wondered how long they could continue as they were going. Herself and The Master. Obsessively entangled in one another while trying to pull in opposite directions. She had asked him about Martha, while he'd worked at his desk. Perhaps she'd been looking for a fight, perhaps she'd genuinely wanted to know. She'd sat, cross-legged on the corner of his desk. Watching him.
"Have you found Martha?" She pulled up, seemingly out of the blue, her eyes searching his face for any hint of a reaction.
His jaw twitched but he kept his attention on his screen, typing away. "No."
Hally nodded slowly, more to herself than to him. "Why do you need her?" He seemed to be putting a lot of effort into finding her and while she imagined it was to get at The Doctor, it did seem like rather a large waste of time. Why not just ignore her?
"It's a matter of principle."
"Would you kill her?" Hally asked seriously.
He leaned back in his chair, shoving his hands into his pockets as he turned to her. "They say she's searching for a weapon."
"A weapon?"
"To kill a Time Lord." His eyes flashed dangerously.
So that was it. He thought he needed to kill her, before she killed him.
"She's my friend."
"Even if she's trying to kill me?" His eyebrow arched, a calm challenge.
Hally huffed. "I… don't think she's trying to kill you. It's not really The Doctor's style is it?"
The Master laughed, a cold taunting sound. "Oh no… The Doctor would never kill me himself. But it's very much his style to 'accidentally' let me die. Let someone else kill me."
A frown creased her forehead and The Master rolled his jaw.
"Tell me…" She implored, eyes meeting his. She'd known on Gallifrey that there had been heavy animosity from The Master towards her father. Through the bond, she'd felt flashes of his anger. The longing for something lost. The Master's need to drag The Doctor back down into the dark where The Master had been left. But she'd never really understood the depth of his rage.
The Master considered her. She could feel the tension pulling at him. He wanted to walk away. Gently, she slipped herself off the table and into his lap, her knees either side of his hips. Straddling him. "I want to know." It was firm, she had physically trapped him, but it was also supportive. She was there. She was listening.
His eyes darkened, he freed his hands from his pockets, resting them on her hips. They both knew he could easily push her off him if he wanted. Apprehension glistened within the dark brown of his iris. Fear. She was the daughter of the man who had hurt him. There was still distrust. Lingering.
She lightly brushed her fingers across his temple. She wanted to know, but she wouldn't force him.
"The Doctor lies." He growled.
Her eyes softened, never leaving his face. "I know he does."
When The Master didn't offer any more, she nudged him gently. "What lie did he tell you?"
"He promised me… that he'd always come back for me… that we would always be friends." The Master rubbed his lips together, his jaw tense. She could see he was struggling to verbalise it. As she'd told Alina, he had never really been one for talking.
"You were friends." It was a question, another nudge. For him to carry on.
"Yes… inseparable. It was us against them all." A distant ghost of a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.
Before she could school her expression, she'd raised an eyebrow. He chuckled softly and caught her chin in his hand. "Don't give me that look little one, it wasn't anything like this." She pouted playfully, it seemed to help him relax.
"Friends. Brothers. Something like that. Somewhere along the way, he forgot. Or he decided that 'I'd changed'. I didn't align with his perfect view of the universe." His face fell into a scowl. "He was a sentimental idiot. I would have stayed by his side… no matter what." Deep-rooted hurt floated to the surface. "But I did one thing he didn't like… one thing he deemed 'wrong' and he had thrown me aside. Like I meant nothing." Darkness clouded his eyes, she could feel his body, tense underneath her. "So I followed him. I wanted him to see… I wanted him to understand that he was no better than me. That his actions had consequences. The places he would run to… leaving destruction behind him. And yet he would cast me out for so little?"
Hally listened intently. She could understand his pain. Her father seemed to have a pattern. But Koschei's rage, it had grown into an obsession. Eating away at him. "Then it just got worse… leaving me to the Daleks, the Eye of Harmony, the Ravenous. Every time… I would come back and he would act as if everything had been my fault." The Master spat. She could see him spiralling and reached out to touch his face. His eyes refocused on hers and softened.
"I'm sorry." Hally whispered.
A small, secretive smile curved his lips. "When I met you… I wanted to destroy you."
Her eyebrows twitched upwards.
"I thought the perfect opportunity had fallen into my lap. The Doctor's estranged daughter. I was going to mould you into the most magnificent weapon against him."
Hearing him say it out loud was strange. It wasn't all too much of a surprise, she had known his interest in her initially had been purely selfish. "But you were just like me." His chest rumbled. "He had cast you out too… looking at you was like looking into myself. I couldn't hurt you."
"So, you pitied me?" Hally frowned, a spark of irritation flashing over her face.
He smiled, fingers touched her temple, pushing a stray hair behind her ear. "No." He trailed his fingers down the side of her face, across her jaw to catch her chin. "I wanted to make you see… perhaps I wanted to make myself see… that we were so much bigger than him. Neither of us needed him. That we could be exactly who we were… and someone would accept us for it. All of it. The power and rage and chaos." He hissed, eyes alight.
She wanted to kiss him. Who knew… talking about emotions would be such a turn on.
He smirked, holding her head still. "You accepted me. Never once judged me. I was doomed to fall in love with you."
Hally huffed out a laugh. "You're so dramatic."
He grinned wolfishly, leaning forward and pressing his lips to hers. Her mouth curved into a smile, hands delving into his hair, pulling him closer. Perhaps he was right. They were so similar. Their pain. She recognised herself in his pain. They were chaos. And you could not mould chaos.
The Master pulled back and pouted mischievously. "So, do you still want me to spare Martha Jones?"
She rolled her eyes, smacking her hand against his shoulder playfully. "Yes. I do."
Martha Jones was not going to be a pawn he could destroy in his game.
Hally left the lounge and climbed the spiral staircase to the upper level of the courtyard, along the balcony. There were three doors, the first she came across took her into a bathroom. If you could use such a mundane word for it. The shower was large enough that at least a dozen people could probably comfortably fit inside. Why anyone would need that much space to shower she would never understand. There was an equally oversized claw-foot bathtub, next to which were his and her sinks and mirrors. The second door had been locked. Needing a code to get in. Intriguing. The third door brought her into a walk-in closet. On the left, clothes for her hung either side of a dressing table. On the right, would be his half. Dark suits hanging up in a perfectly even line. He had thought of everything.
Which meant, using her genius powers of deduction, Hally took an educated guess that the locked room was a bedroom. Which made it even more ridiculous that they'd be braving the makeshift cushion bed almost every other night.
After hours of 'disagreeing' in the daytime, they would usually spend the evenings quietly curled up with one another. Forgetting their differences and instead, just holding one another. They would lie down, side by side and just press their hands against each other. It seemed likely that the reason The Master hadn't brought them to the locked bedroom, was a similar one to the reason she'd never invited him back to her room. It didn't quite feel right. In the library, on their lumpy bed of cushions, they could be whatever they wanted to be. She could pretend they weren't on the Valiant up here.
During the nights, Hally would run her hands over his body. Explore the bare skin under his shirt, with her hands, her mouth. He would do the same. They would take it in turns to reacquaint themselves. Learning every curve of his skin. Her body reacted to his with longing, desperation. But he would always keep it above the belt. If ever her hands trailed too low he would catch her wrists and gently bring them back to his chest. Then they would fall asleep. Wrapped up in one another.
The Master had had nightmares before the time war.
She had awoken to the sound of his pained groan and had recognised it instantly.
The sound of his desperate whimper snapped her fully awake. Shaking the grogginess from her.
"Koschei…" She whispered, dragging her body gently away from his, out of reach. She could see him writhing, the silver moonlight illuminated them. Tension gripped his body, his face contorted with pain.
"Master, wake up." She tried, louder. He wasn't usually a deep sleeper. She could rouse him with her voice.
He cried out, a sheen of sweat glistening across his chest. His hand smacked against the floor.
Hally winced and grabbed it. "Koschei!" She felt him jolt awake. Snatching his hand away from hers. Wild eyes met hers, calming as recognition fell over him in a wave.
His chest rose and fell heavily as he caught his breath. "Are you alright?" His voice was low, strained.
She nodded. "I'm fine. Are yo-"
"I've told you before not to touch me. I'll hurt you." He scowled at her, running a hand through his hair.
"I didn't want you to hurt yourself." She reasoned. "I was still out of reach." She shuffled closer to him, picking up his hand and checking the back of it. He hadn't broken the skin, but nonetheless she rubbed her hands softly over it soothingly.
He let out a long sigh. "Come back to sleep."
"Are you alright, though?" She looked down at his face from her seated position next to him. He clenched his jaw.
"Yes."
Well, she wasn't going to let him get away with that evident evasion.
"What was it?"
"Nothing."
"Koschei…?"
He was silent.
Hally climbed over him cautiously, straddling him. She lay her body over his, her head on his chest. Perhaps he wasn't ready to talk. She could talk for him. "Sometimes I dream about the war." She offered quietly.
He was quiet, the rise and fall of his chest was slowing, calming.
"I dream about the prison planet…Phrìosan. Those endless walls. Running around the maze of it, stuck. Kashyik. Gallifrey. All that death. I used to have panic attacks when loud noises went off." The beats of his hearts steadied underneath her. His hands came to rest on her lower back, splayed, holding her to him. "When we were in London, 1941, the Blitz. I totally froze. I'd have flashbacks of Gallifrey."
His chest rumbled as he hummed. He kneaded his palms into her back. "Mmmm, I dream about it too. Gallifrey. Sometimes… it's others, Traken, Malcassairo." His voice was only just louder than a whisper.
"What was it this time?" She moved to look up at him, resting her chin on her hands.
"The Citadel. It burns and I'm crawling over bodies. Each one I don't recognise and each one is a relief because they're not you. The city is falling and I know I can't leave without you. But I just can't find you. The noise in my head… it just gets louder and louder... until it's all just noise and I can't breathe."
Hally swallowed. She pressed her lips against his. "I'm here. You found me."
He wrapped his arms across her, his hand winding into her hair.
Hally nuzzled her face into his neck. "I couldn't believe that I'd found you. On the entire planet." She mumbled.
"We were so close." He mused.
"And then…" Hally frowned, pausing. She pulled back looking down at him. Even in the dark, she could see his eyes were fixed on her. "What happened…?"
"What do you remember?"
"I remember seeing you. Then something hit me."
"Yes."
She shifted on him, bracing her hand on the floor so she could sit herself up slightly. "How did I go from ten meters from you… to in The Doctor's TARDIS?"
He paused. "I didn't see."
Something in his voice didn't convince her. She thought back. She remembered his face in that moment. They'd caught eyes and then he'd looked behind her. He'd seen something behind her before she'd blacked out. "Yes, you did."
The Master cupped her face in his hands, pulling her back down until her face was hovering just above his. "By the time I reached you, you were gone."
She searched his eyes. "What hit me Koschei?"
He touched her face, pressing his forehead against hers. "I don't know."
She wanted to press him further, but she remembered that this conversation was supposed to be for him, she'd wanted to comfort him, not this. So she let it go. She would table it for another time. Her lips brushed over his softly. Then she settled against his body, resting her head on his chest again and closing her eyes. He shifted, getting comfortable, resting his hands over her body.
They had fallen asleep like that.
Hally trailed back down the staircase and over to the so far unexplored right-hand side of the lower courtyard. A wide smile pulled at her mouth when she took in the sight of the pool. Off to the right was a fitness suite, but that held little interest to her. The pool, however, the pool she instantly had to get into. She pulled off her dress and slipped straight into the serene, warm water. A perfect turquoise. Glass walls. Of course.
Further weeks plodded by. More of the same. Sleeping. Either alone in her room, or with him in the library or lounge. He'd not unlocked the bedroom still. Eating. Disagreeing. Touching. Swimming. Kissing. Laughing. Challenging. Touching. Sleeping.
That afternoon he'd found her in the pool. Usually, it was where he would find her if she wasn't in the library. He shrugged off his jacket, dropping it over the back of a lounger by the poolside. She was floating on her back in the centre of the water, watching the ceiling.
She heard him take a seat.
"What have you done with Jack?" She asked to the air.
The Master was quiet. "Why?"
"Is he still in the basement?"
"Yes."
"Can we put him back in a normal cell? Away from the others."
"Why?"
"I just… please. Can we?"
When The Master didn't reply she righted herself, feet touching the floor. Catching his eyes with hers. "He's my friend."
"Still?" The Master looked tired. He didn't want to be having this conversation.
Hally sighed softly. "Yes... look I can understand why he wouldn't be thrilled about us." She gave him a pointed look. "But he's still my friend."
The Master rolled his eyes, a dark flicker crossing his face. If she had to name it, she might have called it jealousy.
"Koschei…" She started, a low warning. "Don't punish Jack because you're angry at me for kissing him."
His jaw pulsed and he glared at her.
"Not that you haven't already scoured through my mind, but the kiss was a joke. Based of off… previous shared experiences. It didn't mean anything." She couldn't quite understand why this was even still a problem. Surely, there was no way The Master was genuinely jealous of him.
The Master rose to his feet, coming to the very edge of the pool to stare down at her. "Perhaps not to you." He shoved his hands into his pockets.
Hally raised an eyebrow. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Sometimes, you're so incredibly dense." The Master looked to the ceiling, as if he'd find strength there.
Hally choked out a strangled noise of disapproval.
The Master sighed heavily. His nose scrunching in distaste. "He likes you."
His words took a moment to hit. Hally scoffed incredulously. "So what if he does?! It doesn't make any difference to me! I don't like him that way!" Her eyes were wide with disbelief.
The Master's upper lip curled into a sneer. Danger flashed within the dark of his eyes. "Really? The hero act really doesn't do it for you?" He looked down at his feet. "The good guy. Perfectly handsome. Endlessly immortal. I'm sure he'd be on your father's approval list." He laughed coldly.
Hally took a pause. "Are you serious?"
She could see, The Master was positively stewing. Anger simmering underneath. She wasn't sure how, but this was genuinely bothering him. A hint of self-loathing burned from his eyes. Hally waded over to the edge of the pool, at his feet, and looked up at him. He crouched, so as to not be so very far away. "While I'm well aware of Jack Harkness's impeccable symmetry…" She began, wrapping her hand around The Master's tie. "I don't want him." Hally pulled him gently forward. The Master sat on the edge of the pool. "He's my friend. And that's it. That's all it'll ever be." She pulled him closer, forcing him to step into the water with her. Hungry eyes watched her.
"I fight you… not because I want you to change. Not because I want something else. I fight you because I disagree with your actions. But I know the difference. What you do is not always who you are. Don't get me wrong… sometimes it is. But I love you. For all of you. Every moment of rage, all of your pain. The chaos and the genius. Those slithers of mercy, of good. I am addicted to all of it." Hally levelled her voice. The way he was looking at her was making it very difficult to speak. But he evidently needed to hear her say it. "I think I would rip apart this entire universe for you…" She hissed.
"Then why won't you join me…" His voice had dropped to a low drawl.
She scrunched up her face. "Because you're doing it for The Doctor." Then she thought about it and cocked her head to one side. "And this planet… as small as they are. I kind of like it. Some of them are my friends. My family."
His eyes rounded, a click of realisation. Something he hadn't quite considered before. She was technically from this planet too. The one he had taken.
Hally shot him a coy smile. "There's no scenario in which I leave you for Captain Jack Harkness." Her eyes flashed with mischief. She was mocking him.
The water lapped at their skin, submerging them up to the waist. He was still fully clothed. His white shirt clung to his body as water seeped into the fabric. His eyes raked over her, darkening.
"You're mine."
"Yes."
He caught her lips with his, running his tongue over her teeth. "All mine."
"Yes." A shiver caught in her throat.
His hands grasped her hips, pulling her body into his. "Always mine."
"Yes." She whimpered as his hands drew up her sides, unhooking the bikini top and pulling it from her. He curved her to him as he invaded her mouth, his hands scorching against her bare skin. Pressing herself against his body, his soaking wet clothes stopping her from touching his skin. She could feel him, hard against her hip. His hand cupped her breast, rolling his thumb across her nipple, pulling a moan from her mouth and into his. Her hands pulled at the back of his shirt. She was resisting the urge to touch him. She knew that if she tried he would stop her and she really didn't want him to stop. He needed the control. He had to decide where this would go because if he let her take over, he wasn't sure he wouldn't lose himself.
The Master lifted her easily in the water, wrapping her legs around his waist. He moved forwards until her lower back was pressing against the tiles of the edge of the pool. His mouth moved, greedily sucking down her chest until warmth covered her nipple. He flicked his tongue and her head fell back, a desperate noise falling from her. She'd moved her hands to his hair as he worshipped her chest. Her eyes fell shut. If she was going to touch him she needed to do it now, before he completely derailed her willpower.
"Koschei…" A breathless plea. She swallowed. That wouldn't work. Try again. "Master… can I touch you?" His head lifted and their eyes met. The black of his pupil blew wide, consuming the brown. She could see the resistance, his hands squeezed her.
"Hally…" He growled, but he hadn't pushed her away yet. His eyes were swirling with conflict, hunger burning.
She leant in and trailed open-mouthed kisses up his neck. Each one was a gentle appeal. "Please… I want to touch you. I want to show you." She whispered softly against his skin. "Please, let me touch you." He tugged at her hair, bringing her mouth to his. He rolled his tongue against hers and she surrendered to his exploration. His hands were attending her breasts once more, eliciting soft gasps and sharp inhales.
He shifted his hips away from hers, setting her back down, feet planted on the floor. He eased her hands from his hair, holding them over his chest. Captured at the wrist. He held them still for a silent moment before releasing them. "Go on then."
Excitement shot through her. Shaking hands settled on his torso, running slowly down the ridges in the shirt. The water held it tight to his body. Slowly. Not to spook him. She leant forward and pressed a loving kiss to his lips. Pulling the shirt free of his trousers, sneaking her hands underneath to press at the warm flesh of his body. Both of them were breathing heavily. Exhales mixing, warm breath on her face. Her eyes watched his as she traced a hand down his torso and to his belt. His nostrils flared. Darkness stared back at her. The water made unbuckling the belt a swift affair, the buttons trickier. His hands had come to rest on the edge of the pool behind her. Boxing her in. He watched her like a predator might watch its prey as she pushed at his belt and freed him from his boxers. Finally, he was in her hand. Warm and hard. She curved her hand along the length of him, mouth dropping open with a soft sigh, feeling him heavy in her palm. The Master groaned, pressing his forehead against hers.
"Thank you." She whispered, gripping him. The broken noise from his throat sent sparks of arousal straight between her legs. Hearing him, The Master, make such an undignified noise, she needed to hear it again. She pressed their bodies flush, tugging him while pressing him against the soft skin of her abdomen. "Thank you." She breathed. He choked out a low growl, a hand moving to her neck. A squeeze. A reminder. Hally hummed, a dreamy smile on her face. His eyelids fluttered shut as she tightened, the movement of her hand quickening. Her own breaths were coming out in short pants.
The Master rocked his hips against her hand, a throaty moan leaving him. The hand at her neck moved to grip her jaw, Hally turned her head and caught his thumb in her mouth. His eyes flew open as she ran her tongue along it, closing her lips around the knuckle, sucking softly.
His gaze was hot as he watched her face. A spark of obsession. His thumb pressed experimentally, instantly her tongue submitted to his hand and she moaned.
The message was loud and clear.
'Yours.'
He hissed a groan, meeting every stroke of her hand with his hips. He was close. It sent shivers of pleasure through her. Knowing he was giving this to her. The pressure on her tongue increased and she felt the vibration of a moan through her throat. Her hand tightened and his hips jerked. He shuddered and she felt his release warm against her abdomen before the water brushed it away. The Master grunted, rocking lightly against her palm. He exhaled slowly, eyes taking in her face. He pulled his thumb from her mouth and she gave him a satisfied smile. He hummed in contentment, looking at her as if he couldn't quite believe she was real.
He pressed his lips against hers and she melted. "You…" He purred deeply. "You are a part of me I never could have imagined." His eyes connected with hers. "You have utterly consumed me."
"Shall we talk about your father?"
Hally raised an eyebrow. She'd not seen Alina since she'd exited the ballroom after making out with The Master in front of everyone. So, she was certainly not expecting her first line of questioning to be about her father.
Hally shrugged. "Alright."
"How do you feel about The Doctor?" Alina twirled her pen between her fingers, settling back on the sofa.
"That's a very broad question." Hally laughed awkwardly.
Alina raised her eyebrows, cocking her head to one side. "Is it?"
Hally winced, wetting her lips. "Sometimes."
Alina gave her an empathetic smile. "Try and just describe everything you feel."
Hally nodded, resting her hands in her lap. "It's always been a little complicated. And now I suppose I can understand why a bit more. Back home, on Gallifrey, I always felt like he was avoiding me. But perhaps he was. I don't know the details but I guess if this version of The Doctor just turned up at his doorstep and was like 'Hey, this is our daughter… sorry got to dump her on you.' It would make sense that he never really knew what to do with me. Time Lords were not meant to… reproduce with other species." She chewed on the inside of her mouth.
"And that hurt you?" Alina pressed.
"Yes… it still hurts me." Hally felt the deep-rooted pain wriggling to the surface. "For the first 350 years of my life, people avoided me. I had… maybe one, kind of friend, but I could see the difference, between how he treated me and how he treated his other children." She still partly despised him for it. She blamed him for her past. Her childhood. "Then I woke up on his TARDIS and we were forced together, I suppose. Slowly I started to trust him. We started to trust each other. Got to know one another, I guess?" Hally sighed heavily. "It felt good. Being with him. Being his daughter."
"And now?" Alina jotted down some notes quickly.
Hally rubbed a hand over her face. "I have no idea where we are now. He won't talk to me." There was a bite in her tone. It didn't go unnoticed.
"Why?" Alina's eyes twinkled with interest.
Hally shrugged, frowning deeply. "I think he thinks The Master is scheming to turn us against each other… which isn't… wholly untrue but he hasn't once tried to reach out or talk to me. I know The Master was always there when we were together but… It just hurts me that he wouldn't even try, you know? Jack… as reckless as he can be, at least he tries."
"Do you think you'd be able to talk with your father?" Hally could read between the lines, 'Do you think The Master would let you talk with your father?'
"Not alone. I doubt. I don't even know what I would say. I'm just… disappointed." She swallowed, eyes drifting to the floor. "I thought we'd built a relationship that was stronger. Perhaps I was wrong."
"You could ask?" Alina suggested. Hally thought about it. If she asked The Master to speak with The Doctor, would he entertain the idea? It wasn't impossible.
"Yeah…" Hally mused.
"You're unsure." Alina noted, watching her.
Hally nodded. "I just… I think I'm scared. I'm scared that he's just written me off. I've become 'difficult' so he's just decided to forget about me. It sounds drastic but, it's not like he hasn't done it to others. Jack, The Master… I don't know. I don't think I can deal with that rejection again." Her eyes met Alina's once more, swimming with uncertainty.
Alina took a moment to write something down. "But, The Master makes you feel safe?" Hally could hear the slant of bias in her voice. As if she couldn't quite imagine that being the truth.
Hally gave her a knowing laugh. "Yes. Well, maybe safe isn't the right word. Secure. None of it is ideal but I know where I stand with him."
"Mmhmm. And where do you stand?"
"Well, we…" Hally frowned. Putting words to it was complicated. "It's…" She bit her lip. "It's like it's inevitable. I'm not saying I'm ever going to agree with him, or stop trying to get him to stop, but I don't think either of us can hide from it anymore."
Alina nodded. "How does that make you feel?"
"Sometimes it feels amazing. To be with him again. But it's also sort of terrifying. He never misses a thing, it's infuriating." She exhaled a laugh. "I'm so vulnerable around him. I can't hide."
"Hide what?" The human watched her, pausing her pen.
"Anything. How I feel, what I'm thinking… what I want." Hally coughed, shifting.
She could see that Alina had seen something, her eyes sparked with intrigue.
Hally opened her mouth and continued, talking to brush over the moment. "When I'm with him, I don't have to think. I don't have to pretend or worry about if he'll judge me. Because he just… I don't know how to describe it. He just exists and I just exist with him. And it's intense and chaotic but he's always there. Like an anchor in a storm."
Alina listened intently.
"Then The Doctor… it was good, don't get me wrong, I do love him. He's my family but I think sometimes I'm not being totally honest with him… I'm not quite myself."
"But you are with The Master?"
"I don't really have a choice." A smile ghosted her lips. "He catches me before even I do. He knows exactly when to take control…" The word had slipped out. Hally felt her face warm with a blush.
Alina clicked the pen, the nib disappearing. The corner of her mouth twitched. "What do you mean, by take control?"
Damn her.
Hally pressed her lips together. Alina's gaze was gentle but unyielding. "Well…" Hally hummed. "I mean… like, he knows when to get me out of my head… or … I'm not sure."
Both women knew she was lying.
She knew exactly what she had meant. The Master always knew when she needed to submit.
"You're quite flushed…" Alina commented, Hally could see the kind amusement glittering in her eyes.
Hally chuckled, her cheeks only warming further. "Yes well, I didn't think we'd be touching on this topic."
"What topic?" Alina cocked her head to one side, innocently.
Hally opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She squirmed.
Alina took pity on her and offered. "Sex?"
Hally nodded. "Well… not always but… yeah."
"Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?"
Hally pressed herself further into the sofa. "I suppose… I've never had to talk about it before." She sent her an apologetic smile.
Alina opened her mouth as if to question that, before rethinking and closing her mouth. "Mmm… no."
She continued, considering Hally. "So, you would say that between the two of you, The Master is the one who takes control within the relationship. Both the physical aspects and non-physical."
Hally sucked on the back of her teeth. "Umm, yes… but he doesn't 'take' it… I don't know, that word feels weird."
Alina nodded in understanding.
"He knows when I need to give him control." Hally voiced slowly. "He lets me relinquish control." Another flush of warmth crept up her chest.
"Have you ever talked about it, between the two of you?"
"Have we ever talked about sex?" Hally raised an eyebrow, a smirk playing at her lips.
Alina smiled, eyes twinkling. Already knowing the answer to her question. "Yes… as in have either of you ever spoken about the sexual dynamic?"
Hally laughed, shaking her head. "No… I guess before, when we had access to each other's minds, it was kind of just known… we both like 'this', so we have sex like 'this'."
"With him as the dominant partner and yourself submitting to him?" Alina asked directly.
Hally choked. She swore she was going to combust from embarrassment. "Yep…" She squeaked out.
"Hmmm…" Alina seemed to be considering something.
Hally frowned. "What?"
Alina mused out loud. "Your dynamic is interesting."
Hally raised an eyebrow. Being called 'interesting' by your therapist was definitely not a good sign.
Alina chuckled at the alarm on Hally's face. "I just mean… well. Put bluntly. The Master, based on what I've seen and read and you know, the current state of the planet. The Master is someone who doesn't seem to ask permission to take what he wants." Alina explained, looking to Hally for confirmation.
She shook her head. "No… not really."
"And yet, he waited for you to make the first move." Alina's eyes twinkled.
Hally nodded slowly. "Yes."
"So, sexually, at least, he has never taken anything from you that you didn't willingly give up first."
Hally thought about it. The Master had taken things from her. But when it came to sex, it was different. "Yes."
Alina nodded, making a quick note. "Hmmm… no that's good. He depends on your consent. He holds value to it. It's a good thing to see." She gave Hally an encouraging smile.
Hally blushed, rolling her bottom lip between her teeth. She opened her mouth to speak, before closing it again.
Alina raised an eyebrow. Inviting her to talk.
"I mean… we haven't… actually. Not here anyway. Well we've… a bit… sort of but…" Hally rambled.
Alina's eyes twinkled. Not unkindly. "It's normal to need time to rebuild trust in any physical relationship."
"He said…" Hally frowned, restarting. "I wanted to… go… just… I wanted to have sex." She blurted out, finally. "But he said he wouldn't until he was sure I wouldn't 'fret about it the next day'." She scrunched up her face.
Alina gave her a smile. "That frustrates you?"
"A little… I understand his point. He's not wrong. But I wouldn't regret it. I just… I don't know. I feel like guilt is my constant companion these days." Hally pushed her hair away from her face.
"You feel guilt for his actions?"
Hally paused, her face morphing into one of remorse. "I feel guilt for consistently overlooking them. Every day… I realise I seem to care a little bit less about what he's doing."
"Well, you mentioned you've mainly been away from the others, from the bridge. It's easier to ignore it when you don't have to look at it." Alina reasoned.
"You're probably right."
The blonde, crossed one leg over the other, leaning forward a little. Notepad forgotten. "Do you think he could be shielding you from it?"
"Maybe… Yes." It would make sense. It was generally her who would bring up the topics that would result in them arguing. So if he could keep her from seeing it, perhaps he thought that would make it better.
Alina cocked her head to one side. "Why do you think he would do that?"
"Because he knows I don't like it… he knows it hurts me."
Alina nodded, something was brewing behind her eyes. She was trying to tell her something. "So he shields you from his actions, because he knows they hurt you. He still continues to do those things but he doesn't want you to see because…"
Hally's eyes widened slightly.
"Because he knows what he's doing is wrong…"