Regulus Pov

Regulus looked at his friend who was hiding behind his book and sighed.

Just what spiteful powerful being had it in for him to be saddled with the likes a Severus?

The boy was a genius, could hold himself in either conversation or magical wand waving against pretty much everyone, and yet he didn't have an ounce of self-confidence.

Of course, his idiotic brother had a hand in that, but still.

Oh, proud he was, never asking for help, always the whole" I know better" aura, but he felt he was nothing.

Meant nothing.

The boy Severus was, was seriously messing with his thoughts and things drilled into him from being a toddler.

"Pure bloods are the only one's worthy of magic"

Yeah, fat load of good it was. Potter, Sirius and Pettigrew combined efforts couldn't beat Severus if he wasn't so short tempered. He was the best in their year, in whole school even.

Snape had a way with words, and with getting under your skin. Regulus had asked Slughorn to tutor him – more like ordered, because it was the way it was and he wasn't higher than Regulus in hierarchy, even though he was supposedly a professor.

"Unfortunately, I do not have the talent to do so heir Black"

And he had foisted him on Severus who was Snape back then. An ill-tempered half-blood with no allies in Slytherin and no friends in any house.

And yes, the mud…, Mugglebron didn't count.

-Severus didn't like calling people the "m" word. Not anymore. He had not told him what exactly had happened near the lake that day, because Reg was puking his stomach back at the hospital wing. He just knew that Severus and Evans weren't friends anymore.

Of course, he had given a silent command to all Slytherin- and any pure blood in the school who had seen the incident- to hold their tongues or else. Regulus wasn't going to be Lord Black, but that didn't mean he couldn't throw his political weight around. He could respect Severus wishes if he didn't want to talk about it.

So, after that, Regulus started to use no-Maj-born. A term Americans used. Mother sighed and father shook his head, but that was it. They saw it as Regulus leaning into their American cousins and nothing else.

And this way, he could respect Severus too.

He said if he called her that, it was like calling him that because he was a half-blood with only maternal magical side, not far from a muggleborn in social hierarchy.

But this wasn't the only thing they talked about. Beside the lake thing, Severus nearly told him anything. His mother's illness, the state of his OWLs, his dreams of becoming a potion master and the trip they had taken to his grandmother's vault.

What he knew of Severus and muggles and no-Maj-borns, and the way he was brought up clashed horribly.

He had learnt about Television, phones, airplanes and space ships that could get to the moon. The bloody moon and without any MAGIC.

So, if what Mother and Father said wasn't true, could he really join arms with the dark lord knowing this? Could he really ally himself with Malfoy, who Severus informed him had killed his own flesh and blood in the worst way possible, and framed them too to boot?

He was not so certain.

-He had half a mind to convince Severus so they could go and study this space engineering. Run away from this horrible situation and get lost amongst nonmagical folk.

Hopefully he didn't need to. If he had not befriended Severus and hadn't told him about Sirius behaving weirder than usual and getting a warning from Severus, Mother couldn't have trapped his unruly brother when he was about to run to the Potters in the dead of the night.

Now Sirius didn't have a choice but to accept the lordship, because he had taken the oath right that night. More like forced to take it.

Served him right, the brat.

And merlin did he whine! As if it was such a Burdon to become a lord! Sod it all you were raised for it! It's not Regulus's fault you want to dally with muggles and have your fun! It wasn't that Sirius saw them as anything other than other pure bloods did, it was just he pretended to be better than them and acted just like all of them! Why else he would target his so-called pranks on "only those who couldn't fight back". Like muggle borns who didn't t have a backup in magical world, or were not that well off.

He liked to look good for being praised. To act "holier than thou" without changing his world view. Hide behind "oh this person is evil so I am cursing them" act, while he knew more dark curses than Bellatrix! She wasn't the heir to Blacks after all.

Father was even pleased to hear he was harassing a half blood and a muggleborn when he let it slip.

So maybe he could give it up?

He was saving up money, and he was corresponding with masters abroad to accept him. Who knew what would happen in 7 years?

Severus twitched again.

Honestly that boy!

It was like hell to get him into those nice robes because he felt it was like bragging. It was hell to convince him to let Reg braid his hair because he thought it was girlish.

didn't male Asians braid it all the time?

"Regulus, you do know when you talk about Asians there is a variety? Like all of them are not Chinese or Japanese. We have Indians, Arabs, Turks, Kordes, Persians and so on. What is a tradition in one part isn't in another" he scolded him like a child, and it made him blush.

But he did get him to braid it. It looked cool and brought out his eyes and his cheek bones. He looked good and regal.

At first Reg hated him, he acted to superior and tough. Then one day, he had stood up to Croutch jr when he said Regulus was nothing but a spare.

"He is tactful and respectful, and a hardworking and curious student. That is more than you can ever hope to be"

And it started. Regulus had badgered him to become the reserve seeker "merlin you have the build for it! Do you want that pesky crybaby Greengrass to get it? Slytherin will fail!". And he had slowly found a friend in him. A confidant.

-he had even told him that healer Tonks was his cousin Meda, and she was wiped from family tree because of running with a muggleborn. The Blacks most shameful open secret that nobody admitted under Cruciatus, and all he did was raising an eye brew.

-maybe she was right? If Severus was good, and all muggleborns lacked was proper teaching, why were they fighting? If Meda was happier than his father and mother in her marriage, and was thriving and was allowed to pursue a profession she liked and was so good at it, were him and his parents wrong? He had sent a letter to her via Severus, but she hadn't replied yet. Could he ask her those questions if she ever wrote back? -

Severus was hiding so well, but he wasn't DOING well. He had sent those books on Occlumency in hopes it could help him, but it had not.

He was twitching again, even if he knew Regulus was made Perfect- as if, Sluggy would hear about it if he didn't make him perfect- and he would curse anyone who bothered him first and ask questions later, but he still didn't feel safe.

Sometimes he wanted to say the" f" word too much.

Lily Pov

Lily watched outside from the window in Perfect's bathroom.

Why was everyone happy? What right did they have to be all care free?

The water was perfect, the bath was perfect, and still she felt as if her whole body was stiff and cold and tired.

Even the whiskey in her hand hadn't warm her heart.

Was she drunk and moping about? Yes. Was she afraid? No.

She had lost everything once, and even now that she had her family and James back.

First day back in school, and she already wanted out. She wanted to go and hug her Sev and beg him to reconsider, to come back to her, to run away and never look back.

But what did she have to offer?

She has nothing. She isn't the most talented, or the most beautiful. She isn't that wealthy, or knows how to bake a simple cake for God's sake!

What could she offer when he had the likes of Regulus Black and Narcissa Malfoy for friends? Those who had money, fame, fortune and grace. The only thing she could say that would probably make a difference was that she was from future and that could open a new can of worms.

"Oh yes, you, see? I am from 1982, and 22! Isn't it amazing that I got to keep this 16 years old body? Oh, don't be a spoilsport, 16, 22 its all the same"

Why James couldn't act like he did a couple years in future, like when he was the head boy alongside her, polite and proper and never pranking anyone NOW?

Why she couldn't have both her Sev and James? Why did she have to choose? Why did these two never got along?

The problem even wasn't this. The problem was that she knew in her deepest darkest parts of her heart, she always loved Severus more. She had experienced thing with him that she never had with James, and she was so much of a coward she couldn't bring herself to say it aloud.

And now she felt even more miserable. Was she betraying the memory of her husband? Was she betraying Harry and all who died for a better wizarding world?

Why things never stayed the same?

She closed her eyes, and was reminded of the welcoming feast again. How Severus looked so good in his midnight blue silk robes and with his her braided.

"You know, that kind of robe is worth a fortune. It is only given to heirs of most ancient pure blood families and is made of enchanted silk and gold strings. Look at the hem of it, how it doesn't touch the ground and get dirty while it is so long? It must a family heir loom" Marlene whispered.

And her heart burned.

Had he worn this monstrosity that looked so good on him in her first time? Was he already becoming a death eater?

"It must be a gift from either Black or Malfoy" Mary mumbled.

Sirius snorted" that robe is not one of the Blacks. I should know, given my dearest baby brother ensured I cannot ever be anything but Lord Black"

So, Malfoys it is.

-Malfoy, who had burned down a village just because he could. Malfoy who had force fed a flesh eating potion down to one of their spies throat and sent the body to them-

She had heard it all, how Regulus tattled on Sirius and trapped him forever in Grimmel place, and how he had a tip from "dear old Snivvy"

"mother looked pleased enough to let their relationship go on" he spat out.

And her heart squeezed. "what ..what relationship?"

"the kind where Snivellous acts as a kind of pet. A lap dog who will do anything his master pleases..the kind.."

She had drawn her wand, pointed it at his heart." Watch it Black"

James had stared at her in awe, as if he liked her being savage and wild, that it was amusing to watch her unravel.

-it was not amusing. Her heart was stopping and James, her sweet James looked fucking amused.

" Evans, it is a custom. It is nothing dragetory. My father told me that some pure blood families kept half bloods around because they knew how to conduct in muggle world. Some old families have dealings with earls and dukes and such, and they used them as convoys, nothing much" Lupin adds quickly.

So Severus wanted this? To become a "pet"? what was wrong with being her equal that he needed to be a pure blood fucker's pet!

She watched him, walking with confidence in that perfect robe with a smile. She watched him as he sometimes scratched his left arm and she blanced.

Left arm, the dark mark.

He had taken it now?

Now? At 16?

How stupid he was! How stupid Albus was who thought he "had taken the mark only a month before". Yes one could be a follower without the mark, but to get that now..

So she was now, in perfect's bathroom, crying her eyes out.

She hated what she had lost. She hated him for choosing Voldemort, and she hated him for being happy for it. How she wanted to smack him and then inform him he was to die in just less than six years and watch him unravel..

She wanted him even now and she hated it. She hated him for being him, and she hated herself for wanting him.

She was dying inside, and she didn't know if she could go on. She wanted to go to Albus and be done with it, and then live happily ever after with James.

To never think about the hollow feeling in her heart, the claws of anger and hurt that made her want to die, to kill.

So she made a decision.

She had to let go.

She had to learn to not care, not give a damn.

"you have chosen your side, and I have chosen mine" how true it was now and how she wished it wasn't.

She could not stand it. She could not be half be in love with an enemy.

She cried.

She cried over her memories of the boy Severus was.

She mourned.

She mourned the loss of a friend, her first love that was not who he was then anymore.

And then picked up her wand, thought about what they had, how his smile looked, how he blushed..

And extracted all of it and put it right next to the memories Albus had given her.

She was done.