The days following my big win were a whirlwind of calls and congratulations. Kayce was the first. He shared his pride in me, and we talked about how big Tate was getting. I promised to visit them again when I got back—though I wasn't sure when that would be. Jamie and Lee both called, their voices filled with pride. Even Beth reached out, which was a surprise in itself.

But Dad didn't call.

Days turned into weeks, and the silence from him grew heavier. I knew why. I had defied him, and this was the price I'd pay. Disobedience in the Dutton family didn't come without consequences. Now, I didn't even know if I could go back home—or if I'd be welcomed there at all.

I supposed I could call him, apologize, and promise never to disobey again. But that wasn't me. I wasn't the kind of girl to go running back, desperate for Daddy's approval. That part of me had long since burned away. I had arenas full of people screaming my name now, cheering for what I could do. But no matter how loud the applause, it didn't fill the same void.

And then there was Ryan.

Not being able to go home also meant not seeing him. We talked on the phone nearly every day, his voice a bittersweet lifeline. But we hadn't made any promises. I had no claim over him, and he had no obligation to wait for me. Hell, he'd never even said the words back.

I didn't regret telling him how I felt. Still, the ache of not seeing him grew sharper with every mile that stretched between us.

Travis stuck with me on the circuit for the first few months, but eventually, he had to head back to Texas. That left me alone—or at least without anyone, I could fully depend on.

I ended up befriending a barrel racer named Laramie. She was a few years younger than me but could ride circles around most of the competition. She was also a magnet for cowboys, charming them left and right. Laramie reminded me of my sister, Beth—if Beth hadn't carried the weight of our mother's loss. Laramie had a lightness about her, a carefree spirit Beth lost long ago.

"Hey, girl," Laramie called, poking her head into my trailer. "Some of the guys want to take us out for a few beers. You can't stay cooped up all the time."

I let out a sigh. I'd passed on so many nights out, I couldn't say no again. People were starting to talk, giving me looks that suggested I thought I was better than them.

"Okay," I said, pulling on a clean shirt. "But don't expect me to bring one of them back here with me."

"I know, I know," she teased, grinning as she leaned against the doorframe. "You've got your cowboy back home. But, Alex, you've gotta loosen up. You're too young to be tied down."

Her words stung more than I let on. She wasn't wrong—I was young. And Ryan and I hadn't made any promises. We hadn't even said I love you to each other. Well, I had, but he hadn't said it back. It wasn't that I doubted his feelings; he showed me in other ways. But the longer I stayed on the road, the more those doubts crept in.

I missed him—his quiet strength, the way he smiled just for me, the feel of his arms wrapped around me. But what if being apart changed things? What if the distance made him realize I wasn't worth waiting for?

"Earth to Alex," Laramie said, waving a hand in front of my face. "You coming, or what?"

I forced a smile and grabbed my jacket. "Yeah, I'm coming. Let's go."

Maybe a night out would take my mind off everything, even if it was just for a little while.

I was having fun, well the most fun I'd had outside of the arena in a while. I laughed and drank a few beers. I beat one of the bronc riders at a game of pool. Though he may have let me win, I watched him more than once look down the front of my shirt as I leaned over to make a shot.

"Let's get a picture for the gram," Laramie said as she ushered us to squeeze together so she could snap our picture. The bronc rider placed his arm around my waist and his hand rested on my hip. I stepped away from him as soon as she snapped the photo.

"I don't want to give you the wrong idea," I told him, "I have someone." That was sort of true. It was too complicated to really get into now.

"That's alright," he smiled, "I gotta wife back home too. But she ain't here."

"Well, I'm not interested, whether he's here or not," my words were sharp.

"Can't fault a guy for trying," his eyes scan me over, "suit yourself."

I didn't dignify that with a response. I leaned over and whispered in Laramie's ear that I was ready to go back. Gave her an excuse about needing to train first thing in the morning.

Laramie frowned, her eyes darting between me and the bronc rider before nodding reluctantly.
"Alright, let me finish this drink, and I'll walk out with you."

I could feel the bronc rider's gaze lingering as I stepped back, pulling on my jacket. My stomach churned—not from the beer, but from the way he so easily dismissed his vows. It reminded me of all the reasons I kept my guard up in places like this.

Laramie drained her glass and looped her arm through mine as we headed for the door.
"You okay?" she asked, her tone softer than usual.

I shrugged, trying to shake it off.
"Yeah, just not in the mood for... that tonight."

She nodded, but I could see the curiosity in her eyes. I was grateful she didn't press further. The night air hit us as we stepped outside, and I took a deep breath, trying to clear my head.

As we walked toward the trailer park, Laramie gave me a playful nudge.
"You know, you don't always have to be the good girl, Alex. A little fun won't kill you."

I laughed softly, though it didn't reach my eyes.
"I'm not looking for fun, Laramie. Not that kind, anyway."

Her smile faded slightly, and she gave me a sideways glance.
"Still hung up on your cowboy back home?"

I didn't answer right away. The truth was, I didn't know if I was hung up or just hopeful. I still hadn't heard those words from him, and part of me wondered if I ever would.

"Something like that," I finally said.

We walked in silence the rest of the way, but my mind was loud, replaying the night's events and wondering if Ryan would even care enough to be jealous—or if he'd just let me go.

—-

The early morning training session wasn't a lie, I rode Denim around the training yard for over an hour. I had to get there before the barrel racers set up to train. After hopping down and leading Denim to his stall I pulled my phone from my bag.

127 missed notifications. All from Instagram. All on that stupid picture Laramie uploaded. The one she tagged "Rodeo dreams and poolside scheming!"

My stomach dropped as I scrolled through the notifications. The photo Laramie had posted wasn't bad by itself—just me, her, and a few others from last night squeezed together. But it was the comments that sent my heart racing.

"Looks like somebody's having fun without her cowboy. "
"Watch out, Alex. That bronc rider's trouble. "
"Guess the guy back home doesn't matter on the road, huh?"

I closed the app and leaned against the stall door, trying to calm the sudden tightness in my chest. It wasn't true—none of it was—but the picture and the comments painted a different story. One I wasn't sure Ryan would believe.

Before I could think it through, my phone buzzed with a call. Ryan.

I stared at the screen, my thumb hovering over the accept button. I took a deep breath and answered.

"Hey," I said, trying to sound casual.

"Alex," his tone was clipped, "you got a second to explain what's going on?"

I winced. Of course, he'd seen it.
"It's nothing, Ryan. Just a stupid picture. Laramie wanted to post something, and I wasn't really paying attention."

"Yeah, but that guy—"

"Means nothing," I cut him off. "I told him I wasn't interested. End of story."

There was silence on the other end for a beat too long.
"I want to believe you," he finally said, his voice softer, "but it's hard when I see stuff like that."

"It's not fair, Ryan," I said, frustration bubbling up. "I'm out here chasing my dream, and I'm doing it alone. I'm not running around or screwing up. I'm just... trying to make this work."

He sighed heavily.
"I know. It's just—seeing that picture... I don't know, Alex."

"Then trust me," I said firmly. "Because that's all I've got to give you right now."

Another long pause.
"Alright," he said, though it sounded more like a concession than agreement. "I'll trust you. Just... be careful, okay?"

"I will," I promised.

But as I hung up, I couldn't shake the feeling that something had shifted between us—and not for the better.

—-

Eighteen months. It felt like both a lifetime and a blur. The rodeo circuit had become my world—early mornings, late nights, and the endless hum of the road in between. I'd built a name for myself, with wins stacking up and sponsors taking notice. But success came at a cost.

Ryan's calls had dwindled to almost nothing. At first, I told myself it was just the distance, the busyness of his life on the ranch. But as the weeks stretched into months, I couldn't ignore the growing void.

I stared at my phone, scrolling through old messages, rereading his words. "I miss you." "Wish you were here." But the most recent texts lacked the warmth they once held, reduced to short replies that left me feeling colder than the empty hotel rooms I stayed in.

I'd tried to call him yesterday—straight to voicemail. I told myself he'd get back to me when he could. That he still cared. But the silence was louder than any cheering crowd I'd performed for.

My chest tightened as I shoved the phone back into my bag. The next stop on the circuit loomed ahead, but for the first time, it didn't feel like enough. Winning didn't fill the ache. The roar of the crowd didn't drown out the nagging question:

What if I'd lost more than just time on this journey? What if I'd lost him?

I checked my horses and loaded them into the trailer, preparing them for the next stop, when my phone rang. It was Kayce.

"Hey Alex," he said, "how's things?"

"They're going good. Levis sponsored my last leg of the circuit, so I'll get some free jeans, too. They want me to model them," I rolled my eyes, remembering all the girls modeling jeans photos the guys in the bunkhouse tried to hide when I came in.

"That's awesome," he said, I could hear the worry in his voice, "Dad wants to get to know Tate."

"What does Monica think about it?" I asked.

"She's nervous about it but knows that family is important," he responded. "That's why I called. I don't know if I could face going back to the ranch if you weren't there."

"Lee and Jamie are there, you don't need me," I was just as nervous as he was about going home again. We both defied our father and had to face the wrath of that.

"It's not the same," he said, "I understand if you're not ready to face him again. Just like everything else we can do it together."

I felt a lump form in my throat as Kayce's words sank in. His understanding, his willingness to support me, meant more than he could possibly know. I wasn't ready to go back yet.

"I'm not sure if I'll ever be ready to face him," I admitted quietly. "But… if you can face him after what happened, maybe I can try. For you. For Tate."

Kayce's relief was palpable over the line. "You don't have to do it for me, Alex. Just know that when you're ready, we'll be here."

I closed my eyes for a moment, taking in the weight of his words. "Thanks, Kayce."

"Anytime, sis," he replied, the love in his voice clear.

As I sat in the truck, the road ahead felt a little less lonely and I was going home soon. I wasn't sure if I could call it that anymore but I didn't know anything else.

I was ready for a break, to settle back into the normalcy of ranch life. Even if it did mean I'd have to face my father. I felt my heart in my throat when I crossed the threshold of my father's ranch. I was nervous and excited. I missed my brothers and even Beth. I pulled my truck and trailer up to the barn.

"Well, ain't you a sight for sore eyes?" Lloyd spoke. The old ranch hand always made me smile.

"Hey, Lloyd," I said, stepping out of the truck with a grin. "Miss me?"

"Every damn day," he said, his weathered face breaking into a smile. "Figured you'd be too busy winnin' to remember us lowly ranch folk."

I laughed, the tension in my chest easing a bit. "Never too busy for this place. Or for you."

Lloyd looked me over, his sharp eyes catching everything. "You look good, kid. Different, but good. Rodeo life suits you?"

"It has its ups and downs," I admitted, glancing at my horses in the trailer. "But I needed to be back. Even if it's just for a while."

"Well, you picked a hell of a time," Lloyd said, his tone turning a bit more serious. "Your dad's been in a mood lately. Had an accident. He's alright just you know. Don't let it get to you, alright?"

"I'll try," I said, though my stomach twisted at the thought of facing my father. "How are my brothers?"

"Still breathin'," he said with a wink. "Jamie's buried in paperwork, and Beth's... well, Beth."

That made me laugh despite myself. "Sounds about right. Kayce here yet?"

Lloyd patted my shoulder. "I ain't seen him yet. Why don't you go get settled? I'll make sure your horses are taken care of."

"Thanks, Lloyd," I said, grateful for the familiar kindness.

As I walked toward the house, each step felt heavier. The ranch hadn't changed much, but I had. I just hoped I'd find a place here again.