Hey what's up guys, Quandale Dingle here. *Rehehehe* Sorry for the long wait. *Foghorn sfx* Anyways, I died, but not really. *Bird scream* I met God. *Judgment* After that I went to the hit indie game Team Fortress Two, did some goofy ahh stuff there. *Wait a minute…* I also visited the Faces of Evil, also goofy as well. *itsyoursmyfriendaslongasyouhaveenoughrupies* I ended things by killing a random void blob. *Aggressive dog barking noises.* I returned to God and died. *Bad to the bone riff.* Yeah, that's it.
Quandale was still falling down. He clicked his recorder. Yup, still as pitch black as usual. Guess he best get used to it. Just falling down an infinite abyss. He had no way of anything, who knows how long he was falling for, seconds, minutes, hours, days? He kept falling. All of a sudden, he slowed down. "What? There's something else?" In all of the darkness, he saw something, and with no other option, started floating to it. It was awkward floating in this place where no gravity existed. He continued going closer to the thing. Eventually, he could see a humanoid figure, but it disappeared as he got close. He wasn't falling anymore, so that's gotta count for something.
"Human, don't you know how to greet an old pal, turn around and shake my hand." "Crikey, am I really going to have to fight Sans Undertale?" "Nah mate, I'm just a voice in your head. But seriously, are you ready to face verity? Ah whatever, hope we meet again, maybe get you a drink? No, oh well." That left Quandale Dingle with himself and the bonefaced skeleton thingie right in front of him.
"Stripped to-" "Nah, quit your blabber and get me out." "But I waited 2000 years for this line, I had so many things prepared." "And that's 2000 years wasted, now get me out or else Imma blast you." A vortex opened up. Just know this Quandale, eventually, you will return and you will see all of my prepared stuff." "That's your issue skeleton dude." With that, Quandale jumped into the vortex out of the void. "I waited eternity, I surely can wait a bit more. Oh how I'm gonna enjoy wiping that fool's smirk of his face."
The streets were quiet, the roads empty, no one was around. "What's up guys Quandale Dingle has returned!" Quandale exclaimed, fading in from nowhere at the exact spot where he originally died. There was no one around. "Come on, my birthday is still a few months away, y'all don't gotta give me the surprise party. Whatever."
Quandale Dingle went inside of his house. He microwaved a burrito and went on his PC. There was no one online and worst of all, none of the apps are working. "Nah man, this is absurd, sorry PC, not sorry." Quandale Dingle threw his PC across the room, blowing up in a wall. "Imma just have this burrito and chill. Wait, who is that?" Quandale Dingle took cover behind his couch as a flash of light signified the entrance of a figure. "I know you're in there Quandale Dingle, stop resisting our lord and savior. Accept your fate." "No." Quandale stepped out and pulled out his signature handgun from nothing. Quandale began firing and the figure was knocked out of the door. A burst of light and they were gone. "Hippies, am I right or am I right?" Deafening silence showed its disapproval. "You know what, since no one is here, Imma get some free stuff."
Quandale Dingle walked out of the door and began walking the road to the local Wallmarket. *BANG* Quandale turned around to see that his entire neighborhood got blasted by a pillar of light. "Oh come on, whatever shall I do, move into one of the thousands of free real estate up for the taking?" Through the empty streets and walking the boulevard of broken dreams Quandale made it into the Wallmarket. Meandering across the aisles he began to swipe things that he wanted into his shopping cart. After all, who was going to stop him? "Man, why were so many people afraid of the apocalypse when everything here is so free?" It was just him, the store, and an angel squad that rolled up from an a counter, one that was tasked to kill on sight.
Quandale ran back into the outside running as fast as he could against the figures pursing him. He began yeeting various food items from his cart including a box of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, a box of Swedish Fish, a can of Coca Cola, a box of Froot Loops, Inferior Pizza,a box of Eggo Chocolate Chip Waffles, a can of Dr. Pepper, and a peach. However, he ran out of items and these angels were still pursing him. Quandale ducked and weaved through spears, rebar, and arrows, giving counterfire, but still he did not learn that bullets weren't very effective against any tier of enemy beyond fodder. He was running out of places to run, and had no way of fighting back nor losing them. One wrong turn and he was at a dead end, with only houses between him and an eternity shoveling coal.
For some reason, all of these houses were locked, and the angels hovered closer. Quandale was cornered, desperately jumping to a storm shelter, nowhere left to run. He could feel the heat as the figures came closer, but suddenly, the heat was gone. After a few minutes, the radiant presence of the angels were gone, and Quandale Dingle was left with himself, and the smell of steel. "Just as planned, gotta make things interesting somehow, you know." Quandale spoke to himself. He then noticed a table. As he went under, it was quite cramped as he squeezed through. "Ouch." Quandale stood up, his head pounding, did he just fall from the ceiling? He paced across this new area, finding baguettes, croissants, cheeses, and wine on tables, creating a quite delectiabe aroma. There were also battle plans and cigarettes on a desk. Eventually, Quandale entered a dark. room with nothing but a singular bicorne.
"Ah, mon cher ami (my dear friend), It has been an eternity since our paths last crossed. I had quite a long time to think, how I should greet my colleague, the one who caused all of this destruction and my demise. However, revenge isn't what I seek, at least, not in your expected form. After all, it'd be cheating if I fought you like this, without an entire deity carrying you."
"Okay, who are you again?" "Don't worry my lost little lamb, I'll give a proper introduction." The room's lights began whirring to life, and looking down on a podium, was a man wearing blue with yellow engravings. "Surprise." Napoleon Chessaparte announced.