"Turn here," Willow said, following the directions on her phone.
Oz turned, following the posted signs that directed them to the Susan Quinlan Doll and Teddy Bear Museum, which looked to originally have been an adobe and brick Spanish mansion over a century old that wouldn't have looked out of place in a Zorro film.
The property was cordoned off by police and an officer glanced down at their license plate before waving them into the parking lot, obviously having been told they were coming or at least that Xander's car was.
Oz pulled in next to a black surveillance van and two strangely familiar looking people approached the car.
"You're not Xander," the man noted.
"Sleeping in the back seat," Oz replied.
"We're driving so he'd get a chance to nap before arriving," Willow offered.
"Xander," the woman called out.
Xander yawned and unzipped the sleeping bag so he could sit up, a white sweater falling off his chest. "Huh, she left a sweater this time," he said.
"Left a sweater?" the woman asked.
"Yeah, it was either because we've reached our destination or we're now considered going steady," Xander said, carefully folding the sweater and setting it on the seat. "I need coffee."
"I've got you covered," the man said with a smile as the woman rolled her eyes.
"You look like-" Willow began.
"Dana Scully," the woman interrupted. "I"m agent Pearl Skyler and my partner is Todd Baker. We're with the FBI Meta Files Division."
"The X-Files were based on them," Xander offered as Todd returned with two large cups of coffee, handing one to Xander. "This is Oz and Willow, they worked with me in Sunnydale and are both competent in our field, but they're just dropping me off."
"What? But we can help!" Willow protested.
"Willow, this is my vacation, not a Scooby event," Xander told her.
"Dude," Oz said, warning him Willow wasn't going to accept that answer.
Everyone fell silent and after a moment before Xander sighed. "Yeah, point taken."
Oz almost rolled his eyes, knowing Xander was playing it up for humor value.
"What's the situation?" Xander asked, before taking a long drink of coffee.
"As we told you earlier it's possessed dolls," Agent Skyler said. "A number of dolls came to life and attacked the lunch crowd yesterday."
"Casualties were light, they had an inner city high school doing a field trip and the kids managed to prevent any deaths while getting everyone out," Agent Baker explained.
"Unfortunately they lost a handful of edged weapons in the battle so the dolls are now armed," Agent Skyler finished.
"We had local police cordon everything off for safety sake," Agent Baker added.
"I've tossed up a quick ward that should prevent escapes, but it won't last more than a week so it's best we handle things now," Agent Skyler told him.
"Justice League?" Xander suggested.
"No appropriate heroes are currently available for this type of situation," Agent Baker said. "Some magical nut is trying to put out the sun so it's all hands on deck."
"Understandable," Xander said, shaking his head. "I can't believe I miss people just trying to rip open the gates of Hell." He turned to Oz and gave him a look as a thought occurred to him.
Oz nodded, knowing that Murphy was a bastard. "I'll talk to Giles and do a quick check."
"Good, one less worry," Xander said. "Keys?"
Oz handed Xander the car keys and he popped the trunk, Willow joining him, her eyes widening as she looked inside.
"Where?" she asked in disbelief, staring at the library of magic books in his trunk.
"Master vampire at the college was a book hoarder," Xander replied. "Got Superman to clear the nest then made a couple of trips with a friend to clear it out."
Willow groaned. "This was the entry after the Tarakans, I barely paid attention to it. You just said you picked up some books."
"I said I picked up a lot of books," Xander reminded her as he retrieved his shield and hammer.
"Plan?" Oz asked.
"Got some swim goggles with runes on them that will let us see magic sources," Agent Baker said. "We just need to do a sweep, locate the animated dolls, and end them."
"Hopefully," Agent Skyler added.
"Yeah, if it turns out that something evil is bringing dolls to life we're going to have to torch the place," Agent Baker admitted. "Which is a shame because it's a magnificent place with a lot of history."
Xander tapped his chin. "We need some empty soda cans."
Everyone turned to stare at him.
"Best way to take down a giant is to cut their Achilles tendon," he explained.
"And you're playing the giants to animated dolls," Willow realized.
"A couple layers of aluminum isn't the best protection, but then they probably aren't that strong," Agent Baker said with a nod.
"Not sure a warhammer or a knife is the best weapon for this," Xander said as Agent Skyler called for the police to bring them some supplies.
"It's not," Agent Baker agreed, "that's why I'm suggesting shovels."
"Shovels… Yeah, that's about perfect," Xander agreed. He went to take a sip and noticed his cup was empty. He tapped it and it refilled.
"Please tell me you can teach me that," Agent Baker begged.
"Sorry, I was given a wish," Xander said, before he reached over and tapped Todd's empty cup.
"And you used it on infinite refills?" Agent Skyler guessed.
"You only get non-monkey pawed wishes if they aren't greedy," Xander explained, "or I would have made a different wish."
"What would your greedy wish have been?" Oz asked curiously.
"You know how video game characters have inventories?" Xander asked with a grin. "I'd wish for an inventory filled with everything I didn't use in every video game I ever played."
Agent Baker just looked at him for a moment. "You always end up with ninety-nine of everything at the end of the game, don't you?"
Xander nodded. "I also play games multiple times to make sure I do everything."
"That would have been an awesome wish," Oz said.
"But a greedy one," Xander said.
"Sadly," Oz agreed.
"I would have enough health potions to fill a lake from the Final Fantasy series alone," Agent Baker said wistfully.
A uniformed police officer arrived with a shorter heavyset man and Xander explained what he wanted and why.
"You'd probably do better with heavy leather boots," the shorter man said, "but I'll have you kitted out with fitted sheet metal inserts in just a few minutes."
"I'm too used to improvising," Xander said with a sigh as he was measured, "I completely forgot I'd be working with professionals." He turned to Oz. "After this let's go get boots, my treat."
"I'll give you an address," the man offered as he measured Oz, "it's where we all go to get quality leather work done."
"Thanks," Xander said.
Everyone was quickly outfitted with custom ankle guards that were hidden under their pants and equipped with shovels.
"I've only got three pairs of goggles prepared," Agent Skyler said. "They're a bitch and a half to make and I don't have the power to make more than one set a week."
"You and Wils are our best magical support," Xander said. "We're basically just going in to smack things with sticks and get stabbed a bit so we only need three."
"In other words we'll be base and reinforce the protections ready to smash anything that comes out," Agent Skyler said with a nod.
"Let's hit the can and pee before we go in," Agent Baker said.
"Also a good idea," Xander said.
Ten Minutes Later
"I hate waiting," Willow muttered as she stared at the three monitors relaying the team's bodycams.
"We usually flip for who's going to be base, but Todd handles losing blood better than I do and he's pants at runic protections," Agent Skyler said. "The light switch for the next room will be to your right as you enter," she announced over the comms.
"Was that a Barbie?" Willow asked as she watched a doll go flying from the smack of a shovel and there was loud cursing as Xander smashed something soft with the flat of his shovel before Oz took it apart with the edge.
"Looks like it was on a string and used as a distraction," Agent Skyler said. "The dolls don't know the goggles let the team see what's animated, but apparently their brains aren't completely filled with stuffing as they can set up traps and distractions."
"That's clearly animated, why's he picking it up?" Willow asked as Xander stuffed a curled up teddy bear in his jacket.
"Xander, why did you pick up the bear?" she asked, watching the shifting view as the other two scanned the displays.
"It's terrified and praying while curled around a rosary," Xander replied. "I don't think it's part of this."
"Oz, on your left!" Agent Skyler quickly called out over the comms, the young lycanthrope swinging his shovel and shattering an old cloth and porcelain doll that had leapt off a counter holding a switchblade.
"Could there really be a… random living stuffed animal in all of that?" Willow asked herself.
"Low odds, but between it praying and holding a cross I'm going to guess yes," Agent Skyler said.
"Yeah, whatever is animating the other dolls is obviously an opposing force," Willow said thoughtfully. "Opposing force…"
"You have an idea?" Agent Skyler guessed.
"Yeah," Willow began.
"Kill it with fire!" Xander exclaimed and completely destroyed a Teddy Ruxpin.
"I don't think that was active," Agent Baker said, "it was just battery powered."
"I know," Xander agreed.
Willow groaned. "Childhood trauma," she said, "ignore it."
"What's your idea?" Agent Skyler asked.
"I recently learned an order based spell that will increase the visibility of magical auras," Willow explained.
"A bit late to join them," Agent Skyler noted. "Stairs on the left lead to the second floor, the stairs to the basement are further in," she said into the comms.
"I can do it from out here," Willow said, "it's an identify spell or rather the precursor to one but I should be able to cover the entire property for at least a couple of hours."
"I'll let them know, you start," Agent Skyler said.
Willow stepped out of the surveillance van and began chanting something in ancient Egyptian.
"Willow is casting something that will increase the brightness of the auras the possessed dolls give off," Skyler said over the comm. "That should help keep them from surprising you."
"And contact," Xander said as half a dozen dolls suddenly glowed like ninety watt light bulbs around the room, several escaping through a doorway at the far end.
Willow came back in a little breathless. "Did it work?"
"Worked great," Agent Skyler replied.
"Multiple contacts, but they are either fixed in place for display purposes or inside cases they aren't strong enough to escape," Agent Baker reported as they scanned the shelves.
"And I'm being mooned by Rainbow Bright," Xander said dryly as a doll pressed her rear against the plexiglass case she was in and wiggled it.
"Entering the next room," Agent Baker announced as they carefully advanced, Oz keeping his eyes on the area behind them.
Oz smacked a fuzzy abomination out of the air. "That should not have been able to fly," he noted.
"The glow is increasing, move faster," Agent Skyler ordered them.
"Bumblelion should not be aerodynamic," Oz said, smacking it again and sending it sailing across the room to smash into a wall, its aura snapping off as he stared at the felt stinger that had penetrated the flat side of the shovel.
"You should see a hall off to the right," Agent Skyler announced. "There will be a door that leads to the basement."
"How do you know whatever is responsible is in the basement?" Willow asked.
"We don't, but it's a good bet," Agent Skyler replied.
"I'm seeing tripwires," Xander said as they located the stairway.
"Almost missed that," Agent Baker admitted.
"What are they connected to?" Agent Skyler asked as Xander knelt down to examine one.
"Nothing," Xander reported, "they are literally just wires set up to make us trip down the stairs."
The lights in the stairway went out revealing a fiendish red glow coming from the basement.
"Looks like we have confirmation," Agent Baker said.
"I'll go first," Xander said, "I have a shield." He took his shield off his back and strapped it to his left arm.
"I'll guard the rear," Oz said.
"And I'm monkey in the middle," Agent Baker noted.
Xander pulled the shivering Teddy Bear out of his jacket. "Protect Teddy," Xander ordered.
"On it," Oz promised, holding the frightened stuffed animal to his chest with his spare arm.
"He isn't glowing like the others," Agent Skyler noted.
"Different source of animation," Willow replied. "I was aiming for Hellmouthy things."
Xander slowly advanced down the stairs, using his shovel to snap trip wires well in advance.
"Aw crap," Agent Skyler said as they reached the bottom and a glowing crate pulsed with hellish red light, a circle of blood surrounding it and more than a dozen sources of red light scattered across the room attempting to hide behind boxes.
"Well… at least we don't have to check the attic," Xander offered.
Typing By: Abyssal Angel
Beta By: Abyssal Angel and Mist of Shadows