The flight on Appa felt longer than anything else. I knew Aang had won. I always knew he would win. Zuko looked rough himself but my healing helped him feel a little better at least.
„Are you alright back there?" My disoriented gaze turned to Zuko.
„I'm fine. Just anxious." I replied taking in the view from Appas saddle. The world had erupted in fire.
„Try to think of something else." With that, he turned back. I tried to shift my attention on something else but my sole focus was on Aang and his well being. How was he feeling after defeating Ozai? What if he's hurt? These thoughts plagued my mind for the entire duration of our ride to the others. After some time, I noticed our drop in altitude. I got up and looked down. We had arrived.
I quickly jumped down and ran to hug Sokka. As he left my embrace, I noticed his mangled leg and crutches.
„Spirits Sokka, what happened?" He let out a laugh and patted my back.
„Just the wound of a warrior. Don't worry I'll be fine." I didn't inquire further. Relief washed over me as I saw Suki and Toph emerge from a tent located nearby. I ran over to them and gave Suki a hug too.
„I'm glad you're all okay." I said pulling apart. She smiled at me and looked over at Toph who was standing next to us with her arms crossed. I escaped Suki's arms and stepped closer to Toph.
„Don't even think about it, Sweetness." I stopped in my tracks and chuckled alongside Suki.
„I know better." I laughed and just patted her shoulder. I really was glad that everyone was back together. Something-No Someone was missing. Suki must have noticed my creeping gaze and spoke up.
„Aangs in there." She pointed towards a bigger tent in the center of the camp. I breathed a sigh of relief before making my way towards it. I don't know why I was so anxious. Was it because the war was over and I didn't have to hide my feelings anymore? Or was I afraid of the responsibility that came with facing my feelings? I was leaning towards both.
Gently pulling back the curtains, I entered and seeing Aang sat a bed in the corner. He quickly shot up and got up upon seeing me.
„No sit, you must be exhausted." He chuckled and sat back down. I followed and sat next to him.
„I'm fine, really." He gave me a half smile and focused on the ground beneath us again. He was shirtless and hunched over clutching his hands. He looked really handsome. Shaking those thoughts of, I focused on the pending question in my mind.
„What happend out there? Did you.." There was silence. I remembered us at Ember Island, when I encouraged him to do it. Now I see how wrong that was of me. I really hoped he didn't do it. Doing that, it would destroy him.
„No." I breathed a sigh of relief. His head was still low, his breathing steady.
„I took away his bending." His eyes met mine. My mouth opened in shook at his response.
„You can do that?" Was the only thing I could get out. He looked down and bit his cheek. He did look troubled still.
„I know everyone said I should end his life but I couldn't, Katara. It just felt so wrong, even for him." He brushed his hand over his head while explaining. I put a hand on his shoulder, prompting him to lower his arms.
„I'm glad you didn't take his life. I'm glad you didn't listen to other people. And I'm so proud of you for what you've done for the world." He smiled. That crooked smile made me match his smile. He pulled me in for a hug which I didn't fight against. Feeling his warm embrace sent shivers down my spine. His bare skin felt even hotter like this. Some time passed before I felt his body tense up. My eyes opened, while he slowly pulled away. Heat rose from my skin as he looked into my eyes.
„What happens now?" My question lingered for a moment.
„Now we learn to live with it." He parted his lips as if to speak again but nothing came.
„How are you even feeling? I mean after all that has happend..." I trailed off. My worry was growing as he bit his lip and moved his back muscles.
„I don't know what to feel. I'm happy, of course. Don't get me wrong. I was honestly more worried about you." His eyes met mine for a second time.
„You don't think I can handle myself? You were the who called me ‚the best water bender this world has ever seen'." He let out a chuckle which melted my heart.
„I stay true to my word. It's just knowing what Azula is capable of... I couldn't bear it." My eyes trailed to the deep scar in the center if his back. Memories rushed into my mind and despair filled my eyes.
„Well, it's over now. You don't ever have to worry again." I wasn't sure what I was saying. I wasn't sure why I was being so intimate with him.
„Come on! We're going to Ihro's Tea Shop!" Sokka stormed in with a loud voice. Both of us quickly jolted up. He scanned the room before clearing his throat and exiting. I glanced over to Aang who quickly started getting dressed. I took that as a sign to also exit his tent.
I knew we were supposed to go to Ihro's tea shop. But we still had time. We would arrive and then have some free time before dinner. Maybe I could stroll around the streets before dinner.
„Katara." My body turned around on instinct from my name escaping his lips.
„I'm really proud of you too." A smile escaped my lips as I turned back around and left his tent. Upon exiting, I found everyone loading their stuff into Appa. I obliged to Sokka's stare and began helping them just as Aang came out of his tent. My eyes trailed to the tunic he was wearing. I haven't seen it before. It looked good on him though. We all started getting on the saddle which was a hustle since it was getting quite tight. Sokka began telling me how we were going to the fire nation first and...
I began trailing off while looking at Aang who was sitting up front. I started to fade into a peaceful slumber.
...
„Katara, wake up!" My eyes squinted at a pair of familiar eyes looking down on me.
„Nohran?" I sat up and looked around. The sky was filled with white clouds.
„We're almost there. We've almost reached the Fire Nation capital." As I started to gain my consciousness, I remembered us flying for a really time actually before I drifted off to sleep.
„Really?" I looked down and saw houses in the distance. My eyes drifted to the other people in the saddle. They landed on Kyiosana's glare. I couldn't wrap my head around that girl. I shook off my thoughts and scanned the horizon further before focusing my gaze on the boy I helped seal the fate of the world, the Avatar. I rested my head on top of my hands and waited for our landing.
After a few minutes, we entered the old volcano leading up to the Royal Estate. Memories beckoned in my mind, the day of the invasion and Zukos Coronation day, which was also the day I rejected Aang and sealed our fate permanently. I cringed at those memories and put my focus on making myself look more presentable and cleaning up my stuff a little.
Before I knew it, we were descending. The wind picked up as we did that and the cool air filled my lungs. Appas landing was rather harsh, enough to shake me up a bit. I was used to worst landings though. We all got off and I saw Zuko rush over to Aang with open arms.
„It's good to see you again." He breathed and patted Aang on the back after their thick hug.
„It really is." Aang replied smiling at Zuko from ear to ear. Afterwards Zukos attention turned to me. He walked over and opened up his arms as well.
„It's been so long, Katara." I welcomed his hug and held it for a few seconds before pulling away and fixing his collar. He looked like a proper ruler now.
„I've missed you." Flew out of my mouth without a second thought. Zuko smiled and pulled Aang closer to us.
„It is so refreshing to see you both again, I mean together." A few glances were exchanged between Aang and I before he spoke.
„We didn't come alone, you see." He walked over to Nohran and Kyiosana. They were already looking pretty nervous to be in the fire nation and especially in Zuko's presence.
„This is Kyiosana and Nohran." They both bowed and expressed their gratitude towards Zukos hospitality.
„I don't mean to sound rude but who are you to Aang?" Zuko directed towards both of them. If he wasn't trying to be rude, he definitely failed.
„I'm Aang's girlfriend." Kyiosana spat out before clenching his arm. All I could do was roll my eyes at her words. Nohran stepped forward.
„And I'm Kataras boyfriend." He smiled and and stepped closer to me. Zukos eyebrows frowned and his mouth opened.
„Why don't I give them a tour?" Aang made it sound like a statement. Zuko blinked a few times before turning to Aang. He looked relieved.
„Yeah, that'd be good." With that, Aang notioned them to follow him to which they obliged. Zuko turned to me and just stared for some time.
„Let's take a walk." He finally speaks up and grabs my arm before pulling me towards the Royal Garden. I follow him and sync up our footsteps.
„Did I get that right?" His voice echos.
„Which part?" I chuckle and hope he matches it, he doesn't. We keep walking along the small lake.
„Is Aang actually with that girl- wait are you really with that Aang knock off?" I was taking it back by his description of Nohran. I mean Nohran did resemble Aang a lot.
„Yes he is and yes I am. His name is Nohran." I give him a hard gaze before we find a bench to sit down on. I sit down first and wait for him.
„But I thought you worked things out with Aang." He continues as the sound of flowing water fills the silence. Then he finally takes a seat beside me.
„We did." I say very direct. Where is he going with this?
„I'm confused, Katara. If you worked things out with Aang then why are you dating these knock off versions of yourselfs?" His wording was precisely getting on my nerves.
„I don't get why you're confused. We're back to being friends and why do you keep saying knock off?" I shook my head and watched him raise an eyebrow.
„You're joking, right?" My blank expression revealed the answer.
„Have you looked at that girl. And I'm really not trying to be rude but she's-„ He stuttered while he spoke.
„She's you, Katara. From her being from the Water tribe and her bending water just now. She even wears her hair the same way as you. Have you even noticed how she mimics your movements?" I shook my head. He was probably just seeing things wrong.
„And don't even get me started with your ...boyfriend. Sorry but was he wearing air nomad clothing?" I shrugged and tried to jump to his defense.
„Well, he's from the Western air temple. He's an air nomad and he follows their traditions." I was interrupted by Zukos laughter. I closed my mouth and watched his composure.
„Do you hear yourself?" He said admits his laughs. I raised an eyebrow as he calmed down.
„Katara, you've essentially created doppelgängers for each other. An air nomad pacifist and a long haired water bender? Come on." I shook my head at his accusation.
„It's not like that." His expression became more serious. He placed his hand over mine.
„And all this time I thought Toph was the blind one." A smirk escapes my lips for a moment.
„You got it all wrong, Zuko. Im with Nohran and he's with Kyiosana. I'm just glad we're talking again. I mean- spirits it's been three years since he left that day. I've waited so long for things to go back to the way they were." He lets out a sigh and drops his hands.
„But things aren't the way they used to be, are they?" I monitored his words closely. He was right. Things weren't the way they used to be and they never would go back to how they were. It was an enticing lie I told myself.
„I'm happy as he long as he doesn't hate me." His eyes scanned the garden before returning to me.
„Hate you? Do you seriously think he ever hated you?" I give him a silent nod, confusing growing in my eyes. He must have hated me if he left so abruptly after my rejection.
„He never hated you. He couldn't hate you if the world depended on it." I licked my drying lips before speaking.
„How can you be so sure?" The wind picked up and his hair fluttered with it. His eyes looked of ...sorrow I think. But why would they?
„Because he came to me, back in the beginning." My body turned to face him fully. It couldn't be, right?
„I thought he needed to be alone. I thought he didn't see you for at least a year. That's what I was told." His head lifted up in defeat and he sighed.
„Well, he did stay alone for some time. After he left the Southern air temple he came here. It was- ugh rough to say the least."
His eyes drifted as if he was reminiscing a lost memory.
...
I looked up to see the sky darkening. As my focus shifted towards a particular cloud, my eyes narrowed noticing that it was somehow getting closer. I rubbed my eyes in disbelief. Within a few seconds, it was so close that I noticed that it wasn't a cloud after all, it was Appa. With him was Aang. I gasped at the sight and rushed over to where he had just landed. Before he could say anything, I pulled him by the shoulder and gave him a well longed for hug. Admits our embrace I noticed how frail he had gotten. He wasn't always the most muscular guy but he had really lost some significant weight.
„Zuko..." He trailed off but I quickly interrupted.
„Let's go inside. The servants will take Appa to the stables." As I said that, I noticed them to get Appa in a safe space so Aang wouldn't have to worry about that. I held my hand by his shoulder and led him inside the Palace. As we were walking in the big hallway leading to my chamber, I noticed the distressed look plastered all over his face. When we finally reached the big door and opened it, I noticed him to sit down on the leather chair in the corner. I began pouring him some water and handed it to him before sitting down in the chair next to it. He held the cup in his hands without moving.
„How are you?" I began, breaking the awful silence. His lips shivered and he broke down. Tears started flowing and he cupped his face as to not let me see.
„Zuko, I'm so confused. Things have just been so hard lately and I just don't know what I'm doing with my life." He talked inbetween gasping for air.
„Hey, Hey look at me." He sniffled and looked at me. My hand automatically landed on his shoulder.
„I'm sure whatever is troubling you will pass. Everything gets better eventually." My goal was to sound at least a little like my uncle. His nose scrunched and he began to shake his head.
„I don't know. I don't know anything anymore." Curiosity grew inside me.
„What happend that's put you in this state?" His grey eyes strained from the ground to look up at me. They looked darker than usual.
„I killed someone, Zuko." My eyes widend at his words. He bit his lip and turned to the wall upon seeing my reaction. It couldn't be true.
„What do you mean you killed someone?" I gulped as I said those words. His head shifted to the ceiling and his face scrunched as if he was about to break down again. I let out a big breath after realizing how tense I had become.
„I didn't mean to. It was- it all happend so fast. This has been consuming me, Zuko. I can't sleep, eat and if I try to think of something else, I'm just reminded of what I did all over again. It's been eating me up." His eyes closed and his lips curled together.
„Was it in Ba Sing Se?" He sent me a letter a few weeks ago, letting me know that he would be in Ba Sing Se for some time.
„No, No I never actually made it there. It was in Phetrunya. It's a city about a day away from Ba Sing Se. I had decided to stay there for the night, before continuing in the morning. I had found an inn and a barn for Appa to stay in. I was unpacking some things in my room as this man barged in. He started screaming and yelling that I had ruined his life. I was so confused, Zuko. I tried to reason with him but he started talking about how I was the reason for his downfall or something like that. Out of nowhere he started throwing fire balls at me and I-I.." He opened his hands and looked at them.
„I was burned and fell to the ground. My Avatar State took over. The whole building started to tremble but he just kept attacking. I only vaguely remember what happend next." I listend intensely as he poured it all out.
„The building crumbled beneath my feet and I flew up in the air. As I was fling above everyone else, I saw the man falling. I wasn't in the Avatar State anymore. I reacted as fast I could and reached my hand out to him. He grabbed it and I was sure he would be fine but he just started attacking me with fire again after I pulled him up. It was so sudden that I fell to the ground and hit my head hard. I was so dizzy. The next thing I saw was flames, lots of flames. It reminded so much of the day I fought your father. " His eyes wreaked of remembrance as he unlaid his trauma.
„But I dodged them and sent a tornado towards him. Before I knew it, the whole building collapsed and so did that man with it. I never meant to do it, I swear. I was just trying to make him stop." His eyes were bloodshot at this point.
„It's not your fault, Aang." His eyebrows furrowed as he shook his head and ignored my comment.
„I only found out later that he used to be a fire nation commander. The people said he was once a commander for the Southern Raiders, I think." My eyes widend as he spoke. It couldn't be...?
„I don't even know what he was doing in the Earth Kingdom. He shouldn't have been there. I shouldn't have been there." My body remained stiff. His eyebrows arched further and further to the point of complete distortion. I couldn't bare to see my best friend and the purest person I knew in such agony.
„Look at me." I asked him as his lips trembled. He slowly lifted his eyes and gazed into my eyes.
„What is the first thing you see when you look at me." A wave of confusion washed over him as I nodded in encouragement.
„Your hair, I guess." A smile came upon my face.
„And that's what makes you different from every other person in this wold. You don't see my scar, my defeat, my greatest mistake. At least what I thought for three long years before I met you. You see past all of it as I do for you." His sniffles subsided as I continued to speak.
„You brought light into my life. You were the one who showed me the true meaning of it. And as you don't take notice of my scar, I don't take notice of yours. Your many scars, Aang." His eyes narrowed and his gaze dropped. I worded that wrong.
„You should be proud of them, proud that you survived every attack." He quickly shot up.
„But I didn't survive every attack!" He stood up and pulled off his tunic in a hurry. With that, he turned around to show me the deep scar on his back.
„I died! I was a coward and I will never be proud of that. I only made it out of there because of Katara... Oh Katara." He fell into the chair and covered his face with his hands.
„You still haven't talked to her?" He began shaking his head and leaned into the chair.
„I write to her every day but I-I just can't bring myself to send them." I let out a sigh which he took notice of. All the pain he was feeling was so undeserving.
„Why do you torture yourself, Aang?" His frustration was justified but too cruel.
„It keeps me strong. It helps me not to forget why I am doing this." I don't think he really knew what he was saying. I couldn't take it. I couldn't just watch as my best friend suffers so.
„And why are you doing this?" He gritted his teeth which answered my suspicion.
„Because...because- Spirits I don't even know why I'm doing all this. I'm so confused, Zuko." I think he needed something else.
„I think I know what you need." He looked up at me as I stood up.
„You need to talk to my uncle."
...
„Zuko!" His eyes shot back and he stared into my soul.
„What?" Clear confusing all over his face.
„You were saying how Aang came to you in the beginning. What happend?" His eyes widend and his mouth opened.
„Oh you know... just stuff." He gulped as my eyebrows raised. What was wrong with him?
„Are you going to tell me?" I needed to know what was so bad that Aang couldn't bear to go through alone. If he would just tell me, it would be much easier.
„It's not my place. You understand right?" It hurt but I knew where he was coming from.
„Yeah. I guess if it's important, I'll find out eventually." He nodded and stood up from the bench which prompted me to follow his lead.
„So how are things with Mai?" I decided to change the topic as to avoid awkwardness. He cleared his throat and began walking slower.
„We're on a break actually." I turned to face him and patted him on the back.
„I'm so sorry. What happened? If you don't mind me asking." He shook his head in response.
„No, it's okay. We just got into an argument almost two weeks ago and decided that we should spend some time apart." His voice cracked a bit as he spoke of her.
„I'm sure she'll come back." I said reassuring him of the obvious.
„Yeah, I know. It's just that I miss her, you know?" I focused my eyes back on the path we were walking on. I knew too well how much you can miss a person.
„I know." My eyes dropped, following the trail of rocks building out path. He seemed to notice my change on mood.
„Things will be okay with Aang. Trust me on this." I really hoped he was right.
„Like the way I trusted you back in Ba Sing Se?" I became completely serious. He quickly turned to me, stunned. At that, I broke out laughing.
„I'm kidding, Zuko." I held his arm closer as he laughed as well. In the corner of my eye, I noticed a figure staring at us. From my peripheral vision, I saw Aang leaning against a tree with a serious expression on his face, just watching us.
I wonder what happend here that day.