"I'm sorry we haven't been able to hang out lately," Sasha apologized as she and Willow walked into Kelly's for lunch. "Morning sickness has been rough."
"It's okay, Sasha, really," Willow reassured her as they found a table and sat down. "I know how debilitating morning sickness can be."
Sasha smiled at her. After they gave their drink orders to their waiter, they gave each other their undivided attention.
"So," Willow began. "Other than the terrible morning sickness, how has your pregnancy been?"
"Good," Sasha answered. "Michael and I have been really excited. I'm only a month along, so obviously I'm not showing yet, but Michael hasn't been able to stop touching my stomach as if he's expecting to feel a kick any day now." A little laugh escaped her as she thought of all the times in which her boyfriend has cradled her belly. He'd do it in the morning when they were just waking up, throughout the day (even while cooking or playing with Aaron), and especially at night when everything in the mansion settled down and they were alone in their bedroom, her on her back while Michael laid near her, his ear against the bare skin (he always pulled her shirt up just over her stomach so he could get the best bonding experience) of her still-flat abdomen.
Michael was very attentive already and, though she found it a bit amusing how he was already expecting to feel movement, it filled her with a warmth and love she never experienced before. Though she feared pregnancy before, having such a loving and caring man be the father of her unborn child made the thought of the next eight months more enjoyable.
"I'm so happy for you, Sasha," Willow said after taking a long sip of the ice water that had just been placed before her.
She was. She truly was happy for her. She was glad that Sasha wasn't experiencing the same pregnancy she had with her son. She was relieved that her best friend wasn't having to worry about getting her child away from his sadistic creep of a father. Willow was grateful that the world gifted Michael to Sasha as her baby's father because she knew that the Quartermaine/Corinthos/Spencer heir would do everything in his power to ensure that Sasha and their child were safe and happy.
Yet at the same time…she wished that things had been different for herself. Maybe things would have transpired in another way had someone kinder and gentler—someone good—had impregnated her instead of Shiloh.
'Someone like Chase,' Rational Willow whispered in her head.
Willow couldn't help but agree with Rational Willow; every day she wished she'd met Chase first, that she'd had consensual sex with him and became pregnant with Wiley that way. Maybe they could have raised him together, given him a different name (not that Wiley wasn't an adorable name that Lucas and Brad picked for her son; she just could have named him after the father who raised and loved her)...maybe he could have even lived….
Apparently Willow's transparency hadn't improved with therapy because the ecstatic expression on Sasha's face changed into a worried one. "I'm sorry, Willow," she apologized. "I didn't mean to make you feel bad by bragging about my pregnancy."
Willow was shaking her head even before Sasha finished her sentence. "No," she told her. "Never apologize for being happy about your baby. You and Michael deserve all of the happiness in the world and I don't wish my trauma on either one of you."
Sasha opened her mouth, ready to protest when their waiter returned to take their food orders. Willow decided on a comforting, warm bowl of chili while Sasha opted for a cheeseburger with fries as the latter was "really craving a classic." When the waiter left, Sasha met Willow's gaze again but instead of continuing their previous conversation, she began a new one: "We told Nelle about the baby when she visited Aaron."
Willow stared at her. "You…you what?" She asked. She had to remind herself to keep her voice down or else she'd attract unwanted attention. "Sasha, why would you…why would you tell that…that baby-stealing bitch about your child?!"
Her voice rose a bit and a few people looked over at them so Sasha quickly shushed her and eventually they lost interest in their conversation, returning to their own business.
"I know," Sasha whispered earnestly. "I'm still not completely convinced that it won't come back to haunt me later, but Michael and I both agreed that since I'm carrying Aaron's baby brother or sister and Nelle has visitation, she's going to see that I'm getting a bump in another few months. I can't hide that forever and I certainly can't hide a baby whenever she comes over to spend time with Aaron."
Willow breathed deeply to calm herself. "I'm sorry, Sasha," she apologized. "I didn't mean to get on you like that, I'm just…"
"...Worried about us, I know," Sasha smiled understandingly at her friend. "I'm grateful to have a friend like you who cares so much about her loved ones' well-being. But there's no reason to worry, Willow. Between Michael and the rest of the Quartermaines, this baby and I will be safe from Nelle."
Though she was still reluctant to believe it, Kelly's was not the place to continue this conversation, so Willow had to concede: "Okay…I trust yours and Michael's judgments."
Sasha's shoulders dropped with relief. "Thank you," she sighed. Then her face brightened again and she informed Willow: "Michael and I have been discussing marriage a lot lately…like, a lot more than before."
Willow instantly perked up, a wide grin forming on her face. "Is that right?" She giggled. "Are you going to be Mrs. Corinthos soon?"
Sasha blushed. "I mean…" she trailed. "I wouldn't be opposed if he got on one knee tomorrow and slid a ring on my finger."
The two women giggled like a pair of schoolgirls talking about their favorite boy band even as their food was placed in front of them. They thanked the young boy serving them and began eating when he left after making sure that they were alright for the time being.
"So you're feeling better about the idea of marriage?" Willow asked, breaking the two packets of saltine crackers that came with her chili and sprinkling them on top.
"I think so," Sasha said before grabbing a fry and chewing thoughtfully on it. When she swallowed, she continued: "I know that the last time we talked about it, I said that I was freaking out and that we could be moving too fast, but I don't really feel that way anymore."
"What changed?" Willow inquired as she dipped her spoon into her chili and took a bite, smiling happily as she did at the comforting taste of beef, beans, tomatoes, cheese, and spices. It reminded her of times in her childhood when her dad would make it for dinner. Those nights would be some of the happiest of her mostly unhappy childhood.
Sasha ate another fry. "Well, for one thing, I'm pregnant," she said, motioning towards her still-flat belly with her hand. "I was raised by a single mother and I never knew my father. I don't want to make my child go through something similar…you know, not that he or she wouldn't have a father growing up, just that his or her parents weren't living in the same house."
Willow nodded in understanding, eating her chili in silence.
Sasha took a moment to take a bite of her cheeseburger, just barely managing to hold back a moan of contentment at the taste of juicy, seasoned meat and melty cheddar cheese. She'd been craving this so much lately and though she had a feeling that it would be coming back up later, she couldn't find it in herself to care.
"For another," Sasha went on. "We do love each other. We may have moved in together because of Nelle wanting full custody of Aaron, but we get along and it's nice waking up every day and seeing the man I love lying next to me. It makes me want that every day forever."
"I can imagine," Willow said lovingly, warmth in her eyes as she thought of Chase and how she felt the same way about their own living arrangement in his—their—apartment.
"So," Sasha finished her explanation after several uninterrupted minutes of eating her cheeseburger until there was nothing left on her plate but the remainder of her French fries. "Marriage doesn't sound so scary to me anymore, especially since it's Michael that I'd be marrying."
"Sasha Corinthos…it has a nice ring to it," Willow commented with a smile.
"Yeah," Sasha agreed, her eyes and smile soft as she thought more about her potential engagement. "Yeah, it does.
"Sasha Corinthos…."