4:15 pm 29, Monday October, 2007
…
I went to the daycare before work. Sue wasn't there, I left a message for her to call me. She called me during my lunch break and she said that it was fine with her that he had been there and she was fine with him being there more often. Which was, dumbfounding to me. Charlie let me stay an extra two hours for work and kicked me out before it was even 3:58 in the afternoon.
So I came home and I showered, I have a simple meal cooking on the stove and I don't know what to do with myself.
…
I ate and then I fell asleep on the couch until now. It's Tuesday and 2:31 in the morning. I dreamt about Seth.
Harmless and appropriate dreams. The dreams were different days and he was basically everywhere. Appearing out of nowhere, sleeping over with Embry and sometimes it was just us, and I don't understand. Why? He's just a kid and just because I seen him on Saturday everywhere didn't mean he was a stalker. Or maybe he secretly was. But either way, he's harmless.
He's just a kid.
Dreaming about him though… I don't know how to feel about that.
Embry too. Embry was in a lot of the sleepovers.
I don't understand.
Something. Something is there. With Seth… and I know he knows… somehow, in some fucking weird sense.
I'm fucking crazy, I know. I need to go back to sleep. But… something is there. I have spent a lot of time alone and a lot of freaking time to think. Tomorrow, tomorrow I need to figure out what the hell this is. Well today, later today.
Something is there. And I need answers.
Because why would Sue not be worried about her youngest son sleeping over at a house with a adult girl in the middle of a situation with the state? He's fifteen. I'm going to be nineteen in April. He's my brother friend. My fifteen year old brothers friend.
I'm going to bed. I will be back in the morning.